87.
After me and Xue Yaozu finished our run we went to pray at the shrine, then went and ate. After that we held hands and watched a movie. Then, when we went to the top of the mountain to stargaze I even kissed him and he kissed me back. It was great.
And then my friend called me to hang out on Sunday.
I said I had something to do so I couldn’t go, my friend asked me what it was, I said I had to go to the school and see my little sister.
88.
Xue Yaozu swears that he didn’t look at my phone screen on purpose, but his eyesight was too good so that when he turned around he just saw it.
Whatever he says I guess.
He told me to go see my friend.
Actually, I really do want to go, since I haven’t hung out with my friend in a long time.
Just as we were talking, my friend called and said that he was going to a marriage interview, but that his family had delicately and subtly told him to change his appearance in order to prevent another failed interview. He could only think of going to me for help.
I politely said, “Your checkered button ups and jeans are okay looking.”
My friend said, “You don’t have to continue humouring me, you just need to help me out this one time.”
I know that that’s just his excuse, he just wants me to go outside more. He stubbornly believes that going outside and walking around will cure all of my problems.
I was really thankful for the thought behind it though, so I agreed.
89.
Xue Yaozu asked, “How many are. Y-you? Should I. Come along?”
“Just two people.”
“Then. I’ll drop. Y-you off.”
I said, “No.”
Then he didn’t say much after that.
90.
Me and my friend went and chose a huge pile of clothes. He couldn’t pick out clothes himself. I don’t even know how he manages to find so many basically identical plaid shirts every season, but he does. Except for being short-sleeved or long-sleeved and having or not having strings, there weren’t any differences between them. His jeans were the same case too.
Even still, he was muttering nonsense.
“Are you sure that these clothes that you picked won’t make the girl feel like I’m a marriage scammer?”
“If you wear your usual clothes, the girl won’t even need to think about the possibility of you being a marriage scammer or not.”
He very despondently made a face at me.
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
91.
Ycmf wf jcv ws oglfcv tjv olclrtfv yeslcu mibatfr jcv kfca ab fja, Wef Tjbhe mjiifv wf.
P ibbxfv ja ws qtbcf, tecu eq jcv vlvc’a jcrkfg.
Zs oglfcv jrxfv, “Qtja’r kgbcu?”
P jcrkfgfv, “Rbatlcu, pera jc liierlbc.”
Lf ibbxfv vewyragemx, jcv ‘QKM’ rffwfv ab yf kglaafc jmgbrr tlr ojmf.
Xue Yaozu called again.
I didn’t want to answer it.
My friend asked, “What’s wrong?”
I replied, “Nothing. I’m going to the bathroom.”
92.
I hid in the bathroom to return Xue Yaozu’s call.
He asked, “It’s. Raining, when are. Y-you. Coming home? I. Can. Pick y-you. Up.”
I was very moved and replied, “No thanks.”
He then said, “Then. Call a. Cab.”
I said okay and then hung up.
93.
Outside the mall it really was raining. Fortunately my friend had driven his car. He also insisted on driving me back.
When we got to the outside of the gate to the residential area where I lived, the car couldn’t go in. I saw Xue Yaozu from a huge distance holding an umbrella waiting for me, so I quickly told my friend, “That’s enough, I can go back myself, you go on now.”
My friend said, “It’s raining really hard. I’ve got an umbrella, but only one, so I’ll first send you back home before going home.”
“No thanks.”
“Who asked you if you wanted to or not? Come on and hurry up.”
I threatened him by saying, “Your car will get ticketed.”
“No it won’t, there’s a parking lot here.”
“Five dollars is still money, if you park even for a bit then that’s five dollars.”
“Ren Yigu, what the hell are you playing at?”
I said I’m not though?
He persisted.
I could only acquiesce and get out of the car with him and walk towards the gates.
Xue Yaozu saw us and waved at me.
I pretended as if I didn’t see that and continued walking with my friend. We walked past him (right in front of him), then went into the alley and said hi to the security guy behind Xue Yaozu.
While my friend wasn’t paying attention I secretly turned and looked back. Xue Yaozu looked dumbfounded as he held an umbrella and stood there.
I raised a finger and silently made a shushing motion at him.
94.
My friend accompanied me back home and went up for a cup of tea. He then remarked that it was getting late and said that he’d go and that I needn’t send him off.
I watched him walk into the elevator, then went back home and closed the door.
I felt as if the whole world was collapsing.
I sat on the sofa and suddenly really wanted to cry.
95.
Xue Yaozu opened the door and came in, then squatted in front of me. He was silent for a long time, then said, “Let’s. Take things. Slowly. Next time. I won’t. Appear. In front of y-your friend. It was. Raining today. So I was. Afraid. Y-you’d get sick.”
I didn’t say anything so he just stood up and went to tidy up, and then said to me, “I’d. B-better go.”
Truthfully, he wasn’t all that bad.
After all, he’s just a hallucination.
96.
That’s right, I have reason to believe that Xue Yaozu is a hallucination.
He appeared because my mental illness created him.
It’s not like I’m stupid, how could someone who wants to date me and who treats me so well just suddenly spring out of nowhere?
I don’t want my friend to know I’ve started having hallucinations. I have half a month before I can go see the doctor, once I’ve taken the medication I’ll be better. Or at least I hope I’ll be better once I take the medication.
But, if I take the medication Xue Yaozu would disappear.
But, that would mean I was cured, if I was cured I wouldn’t need him anymore.
But, is it really true that I wouldn’t need him once I got better?
I don’t want to be insane, but I also want Xue Yaozu to continue being here.
But if I wasn’t crazy, I would have a lot of friends, and I wouldn’t need him anymore.
It doesn’t matter if I need him or not, I want to cure myself.
I don’t want to become a lunatic. I want to be a normal person.
Xue Yaozu said, “Don’t cry. W-what’s. Wrong? Tell me.”
I said, “Don’t go.”
He said, “I w-won’t go.”
He can only stay for about half a month more. In not too long I’ll have to go see the doctor and take my medication, and then he’ll slowly disappear.
97.
Before he disappears, I have to make some more memories with him. To thank him for appearing.
98.
We used two days to create some more memories. In the end I couldn’t do any more, if we fucking created any more I wouldn’t live to see the doctor to get my prescription.
99.
When I was sleeping I had a dream.
In the dream, when those people were taking photos of me, Xue Yaozu appeared. He was super cool and sent them all flying with his fists.
100.
When I woke up, Xue Yaozu was gone. Then my phone rang.
It was my brother.
His expression was as cold and dark as always.
“Grandfather is coming back to China for a trip, bring Ren Yiqi and Ren Yisen home.”
Grandpa doesn’t like my elder brother nor does he like me, but he really likes my little brother and sister. He’s said numerous times that he wants to take my little brother and sister out of the country, but my little brother and sister aren’t willing. Well, really it’s mainly my little sister that’s unwilling. In her class there’s a very high and mighty male god and according to her she might be able to get together with him before the time they graduate grade 6 if she works hard. What can I do? I can only wish her luck, then secretly warn my little brother not to give that boy any type of pressure. My little brother was disgruntled and completely against it. In his words, why the hell is a little brat so high and mighty, is he a moron?
Rinrin: Poor boys (இ﹏இ`｡)(இ﹏இ`｡)(இ﹏இ`｡)
He thinks XYZ is a hallucination 😭😭
(Also, you left the raws in the chapter)
Thanks for the chapter! 🙂
Tbh the raws being there deadass made me actively read Chinese for the first time in years lmaoooooo I thought I had already returned most of my skills to my teachers lol but apparently not???
Lolol good that you still have them then 😂
this kind of made me sad and happy… happy because he likes him and sad because he thinks he’s a hallucination.
but I enjoy stories that play with my emotions a bit..
thanks for the chapter <3
Nooo RYG😭😭😭🥺🥺
Thank you for the chapter🤧💜
Thanks for your hard work!
OMG! This book is hard to read because it plays with your emotions so much! Just when I think things are ok, the MC says crazy things again.
i’m laughing at the start then when i’m at the middle i can help but cri a little QAQ just a little ah. thank u for the chapter~
Dammit I started crying. The only books I’ve cried at have been 2ha, Yuwu, and Little Mushroom. This is the fourth one to make me cry. As someone that’s struggled with paranoia (not to Ren Yigu’s degree though), the thoughts are so relatable about him not being real. I remember the pain of doubting what reality was, just going through the motions of life trying to figure out why I’m here.
Oh wait, Yi Bai Tian Di also made me cry. So this is the fifth one overall and I’ve read a lot.
Oh no! He believes that Xue Yaozu is a hallucination because he treats him so well 😢
Thanks for the chapter 💕
I just done Love Delusions and here I am jumping into similar hallucination plot…
(yea why the hell am I choosing mental health problem novel right after finished the same one?? my tear duck is tired ಥ_ಥ)
💙💙💙
OMG It becoming sadder every chapter my heart hurts for both of them
In the dream, when those people were taking photos of me, Xue Yaozu appeared. He was super cool and sent them all flying with his fists.
What the f??? Did he really had some traumatic harrassment done to him? And his friends advised him not to get treatment????
That big brother can go to hell.
I am still depressed that he thinks Yaozu is another hallusination of him.
Ahh fuck. 95-96 made me cry 😭
Oof. So that’s why. QwQ reminds me of Love Delusion where he also thinks ml is an illusion 😅😢
That feeling’s so scary. You don’t know what’s true or not. And you’re scared that the good stuff is just false. Isn’t permanent. Then the real people that have their own lives would get tired someday. It takes nourishing for this couple to see the light. Stay strong (๑•̀ㅂ•́)و✧
I’m crying…