“Do you?”
“Actually?”
“Or do you just want my body?” Heart said surprising Saint.
“You don’t want me to get close to you. You just want to get me out of your system. You don’t actually like me Saint.”
“There is just a deep, intense desire eating away at the inside of you when we are together and you think that having sex will get rid of it.”
“I know,”
“Cause I feel it too.”
“I know wanting each other like this isn’t wrong, isn’t something we should feel ashamed of. We are both mature adults.”
“But I also don’t think that will work. I don’t think it will be enough. Something tells me that once we get a little taste, we won’t be able to stop.”
“It feels like this for us already. Imagine more.”
Saint watched him intrigued that he felt it too, that he was hearing his own thoughts roll off of Heart’s lips.
“I like that you are opening up to me. I like the way it feels. I know that getting close to you is dangerous, but I can’t stop myself from doing it either and I think you feel the same way as me.”
“Judging from your expression sometimes, maybe even more.”
“Saint, I.” Heart paused, wondering if he should dare ask. If he should take the step, he has been avoiding.
“I want it as much as you do. But I don’t understand why yet.” Saint stood slowly. Walking towards the water slowly. Heart backed up carefully. Each step Saint took forward, he took back, mimicking, his movements in reverse.
“This isn’t love.” Heart whispered.
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
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“Your body.” He elaborated.
Heart gulped.
“Your mind, the way you think, it’s alluring. I didn’t plan on opening up to anyone. For me it was either sex and nothing more. I just wanted a conquest, to know why I couldn’t control myself around you.”
“And now?” Heart whispered.
“I…I..” Saint faltered.
Heart grimaced, shrinking back, wishing he could remove his arm.
“More… Maybe?”
Saint trailed his fingers down Heart’s smooth creamy skin, keeping his other arm close to his body.
Heart shivered under that tantalizing touch, the sand from the beach grinding like a soft massage across his skin. The thin and cold wet of the water droplets that fell delicately splashing one by one onto his skin before rolling down and off the other side.
“Can’t we be two people wanting to explore each other? Right now why can’t I just slide my hand into yours and take you to places you have never gone before?” Saint purred in Hearts right ear, his breath tickling his earlobe, while his left hand slipped across the smooth of his back to hold it up. His right slid inside Heart’s left hand clutching tightly to it almost as if they were dancing.
Saint pulled away his arm, leaving an empty spot on his back where he hadn’t felt empty before. And he carefully pulled Heart towards him.
Heart stared into those beautiful brown eyes, and the searing desire that burned inside them as he pulled him in.
‘I am going to drown in you Saint. In your intoxicating pull.’
‘My throat feels sticky, and my body is shaking, is it because there is a cool breeze, or is it the fact that you are touching me so gently for the first time?’
‘Why of all the things I am feeling, why is there just this calming feeling that this is right?’
‘Why am I certain that I want this, want him? I can feel it in my gut, in my heart, in my head.’
‘I want to turn to him, to experience that fluttering feeling of abandon. I’m running in helpless circles can’t you see the effect you are having, can’t you tell I can hardly breathe?’
“Saint?” Heart whispered the words falling quietly from his lips, more of a breath than a word.
‘Why is this overwhelming attraction there? You make me angry, you make me embarrassed, you make me scared.’
‘Excited…’ Heart snapped out of it as the cool water lapped against his toes.
“Saint.”
“Saint.”
“What are you doing?” Heart whimpered as he realized Saint was trying to lead him into the cold water.
“Come into the water with me, relax. I want to feel you against me as the water brushes our skin, as the ocean ebbs and flows around us.”
“The water is mesmerizing, breathtaking.. Like you.”
“I want to take you into the water with me. Can’t I want you with me?” He asked seductively.
“I know you feel it too, this connection. I can feel your desire for me, I can feel it burn from your skin like a molten fever.”
“No!” Heart pulled his hand from Saint’s, his flesh aching from the pull as Saint’s hand slipped from his skin.
His hand immediately turned red.
Heart backed away. “You have this wall up that won’t let anyone in.”
“I can’t… I just can’t.” Heart took one look at the water and his gut lurched forward like a bad amusement park ride. He looked over at Saint who looked angry, but most of all hurt.
‘I almost said yes. I wanted to say yes Saint.’
‘But it’s’ only me falling here. It’s only me feeling this way.’
“I’m sorry.” Heart said then ran. His feet slid on the sand and he fell, catching himself on his hands and feet before pushing off and attempting to run a second time. This time without any mistakes, and he left Saint behind, on the beach, knowing what he had just done could never be undone. But knowing that staying would hurt them more than running.
All that there would be in the morning would be regrets. Endless regrets.
And for some reason, something stopped him from letting this all end.
Maybe it was the fear that even though he didn’t love him, that it was going to end that way, and that the two of them from opposite worlds would only end in heartbreak.
Heart glanced behind him, the sun hit behind Saint, the last rays screaming their brilliance before they disappeared. Leaving Saint in shadow a warm glow about his person. If he squinted, it looked like Saint held onto his arm. The one he had wrapped behind him so carefully.
He wanted to go back and hold him, his body wanted to reach out and tell him not to be upset. That things would be okay. But no matter what he tried, the fear that the attraction he felt would turn to love kept him from reversing his steps.
Because he couldn’t even stop himself from falling at this point it was just how to protect himself from the pain of their inevitable parting.
It’s only five more months, Heart.
You just need to last five more months.
I’m not crying 🤧
Poor heart and saint 💔
Thanks for the new chapter!!!! I can’t wait to see how this plays out.