“Yes, I didn’t drink much yesterday.”
“…That’s not what I’m talking about.”
He furrowed his brow slowly as if choosing his words carefully, but ultimately remained silent. I closed the book and placed it on my lap before getting up.
“I’ll bring some water. There’s also instant porridge… If you don’t want that, we could go out for a meal. It’s about dinner time now.”
“…”
“Or should I order something? These days they even deliver hangover soup…”
“Lee Seodan.”
He interrupted my rambling. Running his hand through his tousled hair a couple of times, he sat up. He scrutinized my narrow room as if seeing it for the first time, then glanced down at his green pants. Pushing the pillow aside, he swung his legs out of bed and stood up. Then, as if remembering belatedly, he asked me.
“Why am I having a meal with you, Lee Seodan?”
“…Pardon?”
“I’m grateful for letting me sleep here, but the project ended yesterday. Do we really need to have a meal together on a Saturday evening?”
It was a faintly annoyed voice, as if stating the obvious.
He bent down to pick up his discarded clothes from the floor. Then, with a fixed gaze as if nailed to the spot, he looked at me.
“I’m going to change. Are you going to watch from there?”
“…Oh, then I’ll…”
My confusion must have been evident on my face. I blankly watched him shake out the wrinkled shirt before hastily fleeing. Standing in front of the closed door, I stared at it.
In less than a minute, Han Team Leader opened the door again, wearing the same clothes he wore yesterday, in a neat attire. Then, without even a glance at me, he passed by, picked up the coat he had draped over his bag, and put it on. It was the smooth movement of someone who had finished all their chores.
“Shall we go?”
I stood still for a moment before finally asking. It was a hesitant, almost inaudible voice. He, who was putting on his shoes by the entrance, turned around. After looking at me, he calmly replied,
“Have you forgotten what you said earlier, Lee Seodan?”
“…Yes?”
“Weren’t you supposed to wait quietly until I called you, spread your legs when I asked, and leave without fuss when I told you to? Wasn’t that the deal?”
His neatly underlined words felt like solid lines, like walls. His indifferent tone clearly defined the nameless relationship, dispersing any lingering warmth in the gaps and spaces.
Swallowing the lump forming in my throat, I answered, “Yes, that’s correct.”
“If that’s the case, then wait quietly until I call you. I’ll arrange to have your belongings returned to you from my place through the company. Now that the project is over, there’s no need for you to be at my place, Lee Seodan.”
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
He didn’t wait for my response, just slipped his foot into his shoe.
“P’ii yf lc abemt.”
Lf vlvc’a rqfmlos ktfc. Llr lcvloofgfca abcf ifoa gbbw obg qbrrlylilalfr, jr lo ajixlcu jybea njuef oeaegf qijcr. Coafg qeiilcu atf tjcvif bo ws ogbca vbbg j mbeqif bo alwfr, tf rxliioeiis bqfcfv la. Ktf rbecv bo tlr rtbfr ojvfv jkjs jr atf vbbg mibrfv tfjnlis.
I couldn’t move from my spot until I faintly heard the sound of the elevator arriving. On the table, porridge was piled up neatly, with hangover remedies, cigarettes, and candy scattered around like toys. I tore my gaze away from the entrance and turned towards the room. I entered and collapsed onto the still warm sheets.
***
Descending from the 4th floor elevator, I instinctively turned towards the TF meeting room, only to be swept away by the crowd and forced to take a long detour. With my employee ID, the glass door to the department silently opened for me, leading me into a spacious area partitioned neatly. Despite coming to work on the same floor of the same company, it felt like the first day of work all over again.
It was a tepid time of day, not too rushed nor too enthusiastic for an early morning. Under the ceiling plaque labeled ‘Consulting 2 Team,’ there were already a few people who had arrived. Familiar faces.
“…Ah.”
The recognition was mutual. As I stood at the entrance with my bag, the man with the athletic build looked up at me and snapped his fingers.
“Incheon.”
“…Yes.”
“Are you from the TF team? Hasn’t the Team Leader arrived yet?”
“…No, it’s not that…”
I couldn’t find the right words as I looked at the face staring back at me. I lowered my gaze, fidgeting with the bag in my hand, and continued, “Starting today, I’ll be working in the consulting team.”
“Oh, I see.”
The furrowed brow quickly smoothed out. It was a passing expression. The man glanced around and said, “Come on in then. There’s a vacant desk over there.”
“Yes, thank you.”
The desk that Han Team Leader had assigned to me three months ago was the farthest from his own, tucked away in a corner. As I approached and tried to set down my bag, I hesitated. Both the chair and the desk were piled high with miscellaneous items like clear files and pens. My empty desk had apparently served as a useful storage space for the past three months.
“Oh.”
The woman sitting at the neighboring desk looked up and said, “If I knew you were coming, I would’ve cleared it up. What should we do with this?”
I recognized her from the convenience store and the corridors of the Incheon office. She seemed casual in Incheon, but today she looked different, perhaps because of makeup. I checked her employee ID hanging around her neck as I placed my bag next to the chair.
“It’s not all mine, so it’s a bit awkward to clean up…”
“It’s okay, I’ll ask the team leader when he arrives. But still, you need a place to sit. Hold on, let me at least clear this.”
She rolled up her sleeves and dragged over a box containing copy paper, then swept all the files from the chair into it. Stepping back, she glanced around before putting everything on the desk into the box as well.
“They can find their own stuff. Do you want some wet wipes? I’ll wipe down the desk for you.”
“Yes, thank you, I’ll… appreciate it.”
“Just take it, there’s plenty.”
I received a pack of floral-patterned wet wipes. It seemed to be brand new as the packaging was still intact.
I wiped the gray dust off the desk corners with the mildly scented wet wipes. I unfolded some crumpled notes, checking if they were important before putting them into a box. Meanwhile, the man with the sports haircut silently approached, not looking at me, and took a few files from the box.
As there was no sign of Han Team Leader arriving, I brought my belongings hidden in the supplies room on the 4th floor. Trying to keep quiet, I placed my notebooks and books on one side of the desk and put the pencil holder and memo pads within easy reach. Once I finished organizing, the desk looked almost identical to when I was in the TF team. The deputy manager at the neighboring desk tilted her head over the partition and commented, “That’s cute,” referring to a rabbit-shaped ornament.
“Thank you.”
“You seem to dislike having many things cluttered around. You’re quite minimalist, huh?”
Her desk, in contrast, had everything from a humidifier to a special mouse pad and a fluorescent keyboard designed for gamers. It was the desk of someone who had worked in the same spot for years.
“Oh, the Team Leader is here.”
I quickly looked up. A tall man with a jacket, accompanied by another employee, was walking towards us from the other end of the corridor. He briefly stopped to chat with someone from another department who happened to pass by, then smiled briefly. His face looked rosier than last week, and he was dressed as impeccably as usual.
I couldn’t bear to keep looking at him, so I averted my gaze. As he approached the department, he casually responded to his colleagues’ greetings and passed by me without hesitation. There was no lingering glance or hesitation, making it seem as if the past three months had never happened.
***
On Wednesday, I met with Supervisor Kim and Deputy Park at a restaurant near the company for lunch. The place seemed to cater more to Supervisor Kim’s taste, with salads topped with kidney beans. Supervisor Kim, who boasted about sleeping for a full 24 hours since Saturday, had a wide smile on her face.
Deputy Park, who proudly claimed to have spent two hours driving to see the flowers, despite complaining about the crowded places and difficult parking, took out his phone and showed us several photos. They featured cherry blossoms in front of the company, with a woman and a child appearing in the same pose in every picture, as if taken from the same angle each time.
“So, how’s the consulting department?”
Supervisor Kim asked while sipping her smoothie through a straw.
“Suddenly on Monday, I thought of you, Lee Seodan, and it felt really awkward. TF has ended, but having to work under Han Team Leader again…”
Deputy Park visibly shuddered upon hearing that. Under the scrutinizing gaze from both sides, I took the straw out of my mouth and belatedly responded, “I’m having a bit of trouble adjusting. The work I’ve done so far is completely different…”
“Isn’t there anyone to train you?” Supervisor Kim interjected, picking up salad from Deputy Park’s plate.
“I have a supervisor, but they’ve been busy with fieldwork, so I haven’t seen them much since the first day.”
“And how’s the team leader?” Supervisor Kim continued.
“…The team leader has also been busy, so I haven’t had many chances to see him. He hasn’t directly communicated any information to me either, it’s always through someone else…”
Before I could continue, I closed my mouth. With a muffled “Hmm,” Supervisor Kim, while grabbing salad from Deputy Park’s plate, chimed in, “But that’s how it usually is, Lee Seodan. That might make it even harder to adjust. TF was quite horizontal, with free exchange of opinions. It’s difficult for regular teams to be like that.”
“Yes… I understand.”
“Even though you understand, you seem a bit upset,” she said with a smile. Seeing her smiling, I figured she was teasing me. I chose to remain silent, thinking any response might complicate things further.
“It’s better if you don’t see the team leader too often, you know?”
“Yeah, think positively, Lee Seodan. Seeing the team leader too often just adds stress, what’s good about that?”
“I actually liked it. I still have time when I get home, and even when I leave work, it’s still bright outside.”
“Yeah, I remember feeling a sense of relief after not experiencing the rush-hour commute for a long time.”
It seemed I was the only one feeling regret about TF coming to an end. After discussing further, Deputy Park and Supervisor Kim, who had been chatting happily like recently released prisoners, got up after finishing their meal. Supervisor Kim tapped my shoulder as she stood up.
“You submitted the participation report, right? It was due this morning.”
“…Participation report?”
“You didn’t submit it?”
Deputy Park glanced at me briefly as he grabbed his bag.
“Did the team leader say anything?”
Supervisor Kim pushed the chair in with a smiling face.
I shook my head. The last time I remembered the participation report was on Friday. I couldn’t recall where the papers I had scribbled on had gone while moving my belongings.
Supervisor Kim continued encouragingly, “You can write it by tonight, it won’t take long.”
“Yeah, it seems like you’re not too concerned about it,” I replied, despite feeling increasingly uneasy. Even after returning to the department without him and while commuting on the subway, I couldn’t stop thinking about the blank page of the report.
I went home, took out my laptop, and stayed up all night like a student who hadn’t finished homework, writing and deleting, writing and deleting. Sentences were fragmented, words were erased one by one. Eventually, the report submitted via email at dawn was short and formal. I might have received criticism for submitting it late and sloppily, but there was no response confirming its receipt from him.
***
The message came on Friday morning. I checked my phone on the subway to work. It was neatly written in square characters.
“Clear your schedule for a weekend getaway. Just come to my place by nine o’clock tomorrow morning.”
As I stared at the screen, my phone buzzed again.
“If you don’t know the address, I’ll send it to you.”
I knew the address. I also knew the ten-digit entry code for the front door. I hesitated to reply, but my fingers were sluggish. Eventually, I couldn’t write a single word on the subway, on the platform, or even on the subway again until I arrived at the station where the company was located. Finally, as I entered the company entrance, I quickly typed and sent a brief message.
“I’ll be there on time.”
That night, as I packed underwear and painkillers into a small bag, I finally felt ridiculous. My week-long anticipation, and the fear that gripped me when I finally received a message, felt absurd as my hands trembled and my breathing became erratic.
How long would I have to continue dedicating my weekends to him whenever he wanted, enduring pain until my back was torn apart, and being dragged away in the early hours as he had said? I didn’t know if I could ever say enough, or if he would tire first. Even if I tried my best, endured the pain he inflicted with caution, and made sure he didn’t feel annoyed, I might not be able to sustain his interest for long. If that happened, would I be able to say a word? Would I be able to look at his cold, indifferent face and try to cling to him even once?
When I woke up on Saturday morning, it was still dark outside. I turned on all the lights in the house and mechanically finished my grooming under the dim light of the bathroom. My palms were cold with cold sweat, and my chest felt heavy as if someone had placed a boulder on it. As I turned on the tap with trembling hands, I was suddenly struck by a vivid sense of déjà vu. When had I gone through this series of events before? It was three months ago. It was the first Saturday I had been drawn to him.
I take back what I said about them being in love, it seems I was very wrong. I don’t understand what got to ML, but if this goes on, MC should just move on.
Thank you for the update!
yes, when i read this novel previously, i also felt his development was very sudden 🤔
And this close to the end as well, it’s very weird.
Thanks very much for all the last chapters.
I feel frustrated with this team leader, some days he is nice other days he is a rubbish pedant I don’t understand how Lee Seodan can handle it
i think ml might have gotten upset at the fact that mc avoided his questions asking him if he was okay so he went back to treating him coldly again, either way he’s confusing and needs to act his age and just confess instead of giving mix signals all the time
thank you sm for the update <3
ml has also said before how he wants the mc to be completely dependent of him, so when mc avoided his questions he probably got upset that mc didn’t really on him or depend on him enough to want to open up
Thank you for the translation! I get so excited every time I see a new chapter 🤩Ughh Han Team Leader is pissing me off tho. He is so hot and cold. The flower analogy from the previous chapter made me so sad. Poor Lee Seodan. Kinda want Lee Seodan to dump him and find someone who treats him right. He deserves so much better. But I also hope that Han Team Leader learns to treat him with more love and respect.
I honestly don’t know what to say… I wanna hug Seodan.