5.
It was difficult for Song Qingshi to have any sort of animal affinity and so, he was very fond of the Luminous Dragon who had been willing to get close to him.
The Luminous Dragon called the two of them daddy and papa, creating a bond between them.
Yue Wuhuan took the Luminous Dragon out of the small world and took him in as their adopted son, placing him among the pantheon of the gods. He was officially renamed as Song Xiao Bai.
Yue Wuhuan found the god in charge of wisdom and obtained the wisdom fruit and wisdom leaves. He then went to a high-tech world to get genetic medicine for IQ transformation. He poured all of these into this stupid snake and at last, he managed to raise his level from mentally impaired to underachiever.
Song Qingshi was enthusiastic about teaching his son to read.
The two of them were academically outstanding great gods. They used a combination of piles of homework exercises and the stick to teach for three whole years. However, to say nothing of Pheasants and Rabbits in a Cage, Song Xiao Bai would even still often make mistakes doing basic arithmetic on numbers less than a hundred. He would cry and make a fuss. He would rather be beaten three times a day by his papa instead of answering his homework.
Teaching Xiao Bai made Song Qingshi begin to doubt himself…
Qing Luan found the crux of their problem: “Although Young Master Xiao Bai’s IQ is at the level of an ordinary child’s, there is a system for early childhood education and it needs to be done step by step. Perhaps…your divinities could send him to a mortal school and let a specialized teacher guide him to slowly grow?”
Song Qingshi felt that what she proposed was very reasonable. He took Yue Wuhuan to study the various worlds’ educational institutions.
The language of the gods carried with it the power of divinity. It was universal in all worlds and they had no need to specially learn each language.
First, they eliminated the worlds that were warlike or had poor academic style. They then eliminated worlds with underdeveloped educational systems. Finally, they picked and chose among the high-tech planes, and finally found a world that was particularly up to standards.
It was an evolved Beastman world. Their technology has developed so that even same sex couples could give birth. It was very common for households to be composed of two fathers. Moreover, Song Xiao Bai’s spirit snake bloodline won’t cause him to be excluded by his classmates. Yue Wuhuan used his divine power to choose a particularly good kindergarten. The teachers were full of love for the children and the management was very much in place. The food was also very good and was arranged according to each beastman race…
The average life expectancy in this high-tech Beastman world was very long. It took twenty years for a child to go from kindergarten to university.
Song Qingshi had lofty aspirations and high ideals. He wanted his son to go higher and enter a doctorate program.
He wasn’t very demanding of Xiao Bai. He didn’t need two or three doctorates, just one was enough.
Yue Wuhuan had an incarnation in this world; a major shareholder of a famous jewelry company. He was very low-key and seldom showed his face. He also wasn’t involved in the day to day operations of the business. Mainly, he collected beautiful gems in this world and the surrounding galaxies. Occasionally, he would create a few design drawings and make a few limited pieces of jewelry that would cause all of high society to scramble for them.
After Song Qingshi came, he got a marriage certificate and bought a house near the kindergarten.
Wealth and social status had no meaning to them.
The two focused on education and took turns sending Song Xiao Bai to kindergarten. They also enrolled him in eight extracurricular tutoring classes in art, chess, vocals, musical instruments, logic, robotics, etiquette and philosophy.
Song Xiaobai rebelled. Not only did he play truant and get into fights, he even bit people…
This was probably the road everyone must take to grow?
The god of creation and his Daoist companion; one, a scholar-tyrant and the other, a learning god were invited to the kindergarten’s office…
A young female teacher of the sheep family who was an expert in early childhood educational psychology and had a strong sense of responsibility, severely criticized the two for their wrong educational policies; especially Yue Wuhuan’s wrong behavior of beating the child at every turn. She then put forward a lot of plans. She strongly urged the family and school to unite and reform Song Xiao Bai with love, letting him embark on the right path.
Yue Wuhuan: “…”
Song Qingshi: “……”
They really didn’t know how to raise such a stupid child.
In any case, they had already adopted him. He was already among the pantheon of the gods. They couldn’t squeeze him back.
The two’s chaotic child-rearing life went on for 22 full years. (Xiao Bai repeated two grade levels)
No matter how hard he worked, Song Xiaobai’s grades could only reach barely passing.
Whenever they had a parent’s meeting, they couldn’t raise their heads…
In the end, Song Xiao Bai’s grades weren’t enough to get him admitted to even the worst university. However, he revealed SSS-level spiritual power and SSS-level physique in the ability test. He was directly recruited into the best military school’s top class, on the future generals reserve duty…
Song Qingshi was dazed by all the compliments from the other envious parents.
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
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6,
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He used to go to the Phoenix Temple, but now, he comes to Cloud Dwelling Courtyard. Although everything was the same as long as there was wine, every time, he would see Yue Wuhuan and his Doaist companion being all lovey-dovey together. They often fed him dogfood until he was fit to bursting…An Long was fed without rhyme or reason. He felt like his brother had changed after marriage. Now, he wasn’t allowed to hit his face when they fight.
This time, An Long had just finished killing a few great demons. He was radiating heroic spirit from head to feet. He rushed over to drink a couple of glasses of strong wine. Unexpectedly, he was met with the sight of Yue Wuhuan sitting under a blossoming tree, enthusiastically peeling and deseeding grapes, stuffing each one into Qingshi Shenjun’s mouth.
Qingshi Shenjun was immersed in writing. He muttered, “Enough, I don’t want to eat anymore.”
Yue Wuhuan was very attentive. He put down the grapes and changed to some good wine. “Come on. Take a couple of sips.”
……
An Long felt like he was going blind.
Was this what the great masters did?
Where has his ‘firm and unyielding in the battlefield’, ‘tireless in battle’, ‘arrogant from head to foot’ good brother gone?
Love, this kind of thing was poisonous. It will blind you upon contact and not only will it blind you, it will also take along your friends into going blind.
An Long and drank several glass of wine with a side of dogfood.
Yue Wuhuan had been with him for many years. He could tell what he was thinking with just a single glance. Half-jokingly, he said, “Maybe you had such a moment like this in the small world.”
“What a joke! I wouldn’t have gone looking for trouble!” An Long drank too much and couldn’t help saying, “Even if I accidentally developed feelings in the small world, it must have been with a virtuous and gentle good woman. Not like you. Two men being all sticky and clingy, making goo-goo eyes at each other, unable to be apart for even half a moment.”
Song Qingshi had just put down his pen and he heard his remarks. His entire being was dazed. “A good woman?”
He suddenly thought of that hateful women’s clothing in the Nightmare Heart-eater Formation. Although Yue Wuhuan had explained a lot to him, he still didn’t understand why An Long would have had him wear women’s clothes in his nightmare. Now the truth was revealed — Deep down in his heart, An Long has always wished that he was a girl!
Song Qingshi wanted to tear this Alaskan Malamute apart!
But, matters that happened in the small world were already past…
An Long had been led astray, led astray to the point that problems regarding his orientation appeared. He’s also already blocked his memory. There was no point bickering about things now.
Song Qingshi took a deep breath. Forget it. Let it be. Peace is a blessing. He continue to write his research notes.
Who knows? Maybe this Alaskan Malamute will pick up and bring back a young man from the battlefield someday.
While writing at tremendous speed, he silently “blessed” him.
Yue Wuhuan smiled as glanced at the angrily panting Qingshi Shenjun. He then said to An Long, “There’s none of the hard liquor left.”
An Long’s face was dumbfounded. “Don’t you keep some for me every year?”
“After we came back from the small world, it ran out.” Yue Wuhuan smiled, “All I’ve been fermenting recently are medicinal wine. The sour and astringent kind.”
An Long thought for a long time. He finally understood and asked aggrievedly, “I’ll take my dog food and stop talking nonsense. Ok?”
Blindness was a small matter. But not getting his liquor, now, that was a big deal.
He swore and patted his chest. He was a dignified black dragon, a general, what kind of battle formation has he not seen? He wasn’t going to bat an eye over a few tons of dog food. Seeing that Yue Wuhuan had a heart like iron, he hurried went to beg Qingshi Shenjun. Song Qingshi wasn’t the kind to hold grudges. After An Long begged for a bit, he calmed down.
Yue Wuhuan dragged him back, stuffed two jars of liquor into his arms, and kicked out of Cloud Dwelling Courtyard.
An Long’s plan succeeded. He turned into a black dragon in mid-air, and left with a big laugh. There were still many demons on the western border looking to make trouble.
Love, this sort of annoyance, he wouldn’t want it even if it was handed to him.
A man’s romance is the battlefield! It’s blood!
7.
After the Phoenix god managed to return to his rightful place, the gods and divine envoys who’d fallen into the small world recovered their memories and left in succession.
Kong Muhua was one of Shenjun’s adjutants. He was supposed to go back to the divine realm along with everyone. But, it had been with great difficulty, that he had finally found his sweetheart and made a successful marriage proposal. Even if he were to be beaten to death, he didn’t want to go. He looked for the god and cried for three days. He threw a tantrum and acted miserable. Finally, he got a permit and a provisional pass to travel freely between the small world and the divine realm. He was assigned to ensure order and supervise fate.
The Phoenix god generally didn’t interfere with the independent operation and fate trajectory of each small world.
But, the impact of the Inextinguishable Peak on the world was too great and he couldn’t just immediately withdraw.
Bai Zihao became the agent of the Inextinguishable Peak, taking over the power left by the god. He dealt with loose threads in all parts of the world. Originally, no one was convinced that his strength was enough, but Heavenly Dao, which was controlled by the Phoenix god protected him, immediately dropping at his feet several opportunities which directly raised his cultivation base by two levels. No matter what he did, things went very smoothly.
He also has an ancient great yao as a Daoist companion.
The world quickly became submissive.
Bai Zihao knew that Kong Muhua enjoyed the feeling of having everyone’s eyes upon him and wanted to hold a grander Daoist companion ceremony.
Kong Muhua was overjoyed but afterwards, he caught sight of his bald tail and his entire bird-being felt unwell. He was instantly reduced to a puddle of tears. He hid in the embroidery tower and refused to meet outsiders. He combed his sparse golden feathers every day and bathed his face in tears. He was determined to wait for his tail feathers to grow out and have his beauty restored before having the ceremony.
During that time, he didn’t even change into his female body. He kept to his male body every day. Because his hair had been scorched, he had it cut short. There were even two wounds on his cheeks. The Peacock yao’s tail feathers carried with it the power to exorcise demons and so, its recovery was very slow. Everyday, he would crawl into Bai Zihao’s bed. Filled with self-pity and self-loathing, he would bemoan how he was such an ugly person, how he was indebted to his Daoist companion for not abandoning him; how he was unable to repay his kindness. He could only use his body to properly serve him, to do his best to serve him and satisfy his husband…
Bai Zihao: “…”
Kong Muhua put in an enormous amount of effort into serving him, even using double cultivation to pass on his power. Bai Zihao couldn’t quite bear it, and the noises they made was a bit too loud.
On the Inextinguishable Peak, most of the bird yao who were familiar with Kong Muhua had followed the god and left. Many people from sects directly subordinate to the Inextinguishable Peak had been transferred over and they were not very clear on the inside story.
And so, rumors spread to the outside world that he was keeping a peerless beauty in a small black room, who he tossed about day and night…
Bai Zihao: “…”
He was very adaptable to rumors and didn’t care much about the groundless talk going about outside.
In the past, when he killed Jin Feiren, not only did he not live in widowhood but he also took refuge with the Inextinguishable Peak. He became the immortal realm’s foremost poisonous husband. Novels about this story was littered everywhere. Everyone would spit whenever this story was mentioned. Moreover, there was no way this matter could be clarified. Jin Fereni’s management of his image had been very good and there was no way to recount his disgraceful bedroom affairs.
Later, he became the master of the Frost and Ice Pavilion, the assassin of the Inextinguishable Peak and killed many people.
No one dared to mention it in his presence. Additionally, shenjun had deliberately slaughtered people related to Golden Phoenix Manor. That his name was associated with the matter gradually faded. Today, some of the amorous scripts left over from back then still remained in the market. The classics were popular. They made oblique charges, insinuating him to be a vicious villain who killed his husband. With the use of an alias, no one even knew it was him.
Bai Zihao cultivated the Way of Ice. His Dao heart was resolute and he didn’t care about these things.
Rather, it was Kong Muhua who discovered these novels and flew into a terrible rage. He banned these books and spent a lot of money to hire several famous writers to re-arrange and change this role to… Xiao Bai Hua…a sad and miserable beauty who went through trials and hardships, abused by his husband…He was then rescued by a gorgeous passing hero who went through a sea of flames to get him.
Bai Zihao: “…”
Heavenly Dao had given him too many opportunities and he was unable to digest them all. He would need to enter closed door cultivation, put his all into cultivating and ascend as soon as possible.
Kong Muhua finally regrew his tail feathers. His entire bird-being was invigorated. His beauty flourished more and more. He ecstatically dragged his Daoist companion to hold a super grand ceremony. The celebration was overwhelming. The Phoenix god, Qingshi Shenjun and his colleagues in the divine realm gave them gifts. Auspicious clouds filled the sky, and gods sent over their gifts. This magnificent ceremony was recorded in the annals of the immortal realm and was talked about for many years after.
Everyone admired Bai Xianzun for good fortune in love, having married an obedient and well-behaved, beautiful beloved wife.
Bai Zihao: “…”
He was going to go into closed door cultivation for a few decades to make his heart stronger.
8,
After Bai Zihao decided to go into closed door cultivation for fifty years, Kong Muhua grew bored.
Although his husband had inherited the Inextinguishable Peak, elevating his status to great heights, his reputation for coldness when it came to matters of love had spread far and wide and absolutely no hussies came to play out Kong Muhua’s palace dramas with him. After reading the piles of novels he had on hand, Kong Muhua had an idea. He decided he was going back to the divine realm to find the Phoenix god. He was going to find a science and technology world with a developed entertainment industry to tour around (play) in.
He was going to be a female celebrity! He was going to make movies! He was going make those grand and spectacular, deep and angsty love story dramas.
Gods weren’t allowed to use their powers as they pleased to interfere with the development of the worlds, especially atheistic technological worlds.
Kong Muhua has followed shenjun for many years and they would often travel to and wander around various worlds. He was well aware of these rules.
He got a fake identity and stormed the entertainment industry. Because his beauty smashed the attractiveness index, though he hasn’t filmed any dramas yet, he already had a lot of Yan Pressure announcements. Whether it was singing, dancing or fashion performances, he was simply outstanding. Although his personality was a bit strange, his agency helped him control the field and he very quickly became popular…
He received a lot of scripts for film and television.
Kong Muhua happily read through the scripts. He read through them and read through them and was completely dumbfounded.
The angsty overdramatic love stories have long gone out of fashion in this world. Every script he got had great heroines. All the scripts were girl-power stories or refreshing face-slapping stories. Love relationships went smoothly and they sprinkled so much sugar.
All these were not to Kong Muhua’s taste. He tossed every single one he read. He refused them all.
In the end, he finally found the script of a little unknown director. It was a miserable story set in ancient times about a slag man and a lowly woman. The heroine had the heart of a goddess. Though she was already financially supporting this slag man, he still beat her. Her body and heart suffered all sorts of abuse. Various green tea b*tch superiors were also mixed in and they collectively bullied the heroine. In short, in this forty-episode drama, the heroine cried for thirty-eight; the other two episodes were the beginning and the ending. In the end, the slag man realized the error of his ways and ended up with the heroine, a perfect ending.
Kong Muhua rapped the gavel. “I’ll play this!”
Agent: “???”
This little director was actually a person with principles but he wasn’t very good at conducting himself with integrity. He got this rubbish script written by the investor boss himself to put food on the table but he wanted to make it as good as possible. Kong Muhua was a top-tier beauty; he had the following and the hype. After they start airing, he won’t be bashed too miserably. The director practically became accustomed to carrying Kong Muhua in the cup of his hands, using Kong Muhua as a fixed point and picking the other roles based on him.
However, there weren’t many male celebrities who were willing to take on the role of a slag man.
Kong Muhua’s requirements for beauty were very high and he would turn his nose up at ugliness. After rejecting dozens of actors recommended by the director, he began to devise his own plans. It didn’t matter whether the actor was good at acting or not, the most important thing was that he had to be worthy of his beauty. However, Zihao Gege was still in closed door cultivation…
He thought about the beauties he knew, and suddenly remembered that the last time he went to Cloud Dwelling Courtyard, he saw Qingshi Shenjun holding a book called “An Actor’s Self-training”. He seemed to be very interested in acting… Although Qingshi Shenjun wasn’t as good-looking as his Zihao Gege, he still looked very good. On top of that, he was earnest and reliable. He had a good temperament and was easily pleased…
Kong Muhua flew back to the divine realm and found a chance when shenjun was not round. He begged Qingshi Shenjun to help him out and play the role of the male lead.
Song Qingshi read the script carefully. Although the leading male role in the drama was a slag man, he didn’t believe there was any relationship between the role and the actor. He was willing to try on a role that was completely different from his own personality… Also, recently the Phoenix god had been complimenting him on his acting skills in bed. He was feeling a little smug and wanted to try other things.
So, he readily agreed to Kong Muhua’s request.
Kong Muhua didn’t wait for the Pheonix god to find out about this matter and come settle accounts with him.
Song Qingshi took a screen test. His acting was absolute crap.
Kong Muhua: “……”
In the end, he used his twin axes to catch a yao cultivator to play the leading male role. After the filming of the drama finished, many of the younger generation summoned up their courage and chased after the whole drama in order to lick his face, all the while ridiculing the drama. The aunties liked this kind of plot a lot but disliked Kong Muhua for being too beautiful for this kind of role. The drama received as much censure as it did praise.
The little director experienced a change in his popularity and he finally filmed a good project. Because of his earnestness, later, he even won awards for other films.
Kong Muhua was indignant. For more than ten years, he became a specialized ‘little white flower‘. He became known as the king of dud movies.
In the end… his agent, threatening to commit suicide, forced him to take on the role of a strong immortal cultivator heroine. He became hugely popular and even became the Film Empress.
Kong Muhua: “……”
The world didn’t understand him.
Song Qingshi returned to the divine realm but he was sad.
A scholar-tyrant never admits defeat. He has studied acting for a long time and he took the initiative to pull in Yue Wuhuan to ask for scripts…
Yue Wuhuan had eaten his fill and was very satisfied. “It was a good performance.”
He decided not to go look for Kong Muhua to settle accounts.
Translator’s note: Kong Muhua, baby, YWH is training SQS to star in a different kind of *ahem* film…
One last chapter for the extras. See you tomorrow! =)
So that’s their son. And he’s An Long’s subordinate and An Long said that love was poisonous? I wonder what will happen~ 😉
Look I just want something to happen to An Long. I’m not satisfied with his ending.
Ahhhh is it just me who wants Xiao Bai to stay as their cutie pie 3 year old forever and never grow up?!
It’s definitely not only you…
Kong Muhua definitely deserved that Film Empress title xD
Thanks for the chapter! 🙂
Drama Queen~
Thank you for your hard work.
Lmao, and here I thought kong muhua was good at acting pitiful…didn’t the whole cultivation world fall for his act?
An Long, scoffing: I would never be like that!
YWH and SQS: Is that so? 🙂
YWH and SQS are just like academic parents who’re confused what to do with their athletic child… It’s so cute. XD
“SQS took a screen test. His acting was absolute crap.” LOL POO SQS HIS TINY EGO JUST GOT CRUSHED HSGSHS
POOR** QAQ
“He wasn’t very demanding of Xiao Bai. He didn’t need two or three doctorates, just one was enough.” – Asian parents be like. My mom be likr.
And in the end the child didn’t get any doctorate, because he/she already satisfied with bachelor degree. For example: me. 😂
Thx for the chappy
Song Qingshi and his kindergarten acting skills pfff
Everyone: “Your son so strong, I’m so jealous!”
Pair of high IQ fathers: “…. but he stupid as cork.”
Nature rest on the children of outstanding parents….
thanks for the chapter~
Hahahah
Thanks for the chapter!!
can’t believe there is only 1 chapter more
Thx for the ch ٩(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )و
no word just tears :’D
This whole chapter got me smiling like crazy xD Kong Muhua a drama queen indeed, and Song Qingshi the beep actor. Wuhuan sure got his fill.
Thanks for the chapter💜
The Translator’s note got me dead 🤣
I feel like An Long and Xiao Bai will be a CP…
Thank you very much for translating this story! This is the fourth completed danmei that I have read and I enjoyed the experience.
What I got from here is:
• Song Xiao Bai is really destined to be with An Long.
• An Long was ‘blessed’ by Qingshi that he might pick up a young man from the battlefield. (Is this a foreshadowing? Will An Long have his own story?)
• Bai Zihao has a colorful and exiting love life lol. And because of the opportunities that Yue Wuhuan gave him, he is likely to ascend to be a god.
• Song Qingshi is studying to become an actor. An exclusive actor in bed for Wuhuan.
😂😂😂
Hehehe pity Song XiaoBai. Since beginning he wanted to follow Qingshi but his affinity is always bigger with An Long 😂. Is this what they said, fated to meet but not meant to be lol. He gonna be kicked back to follow General An!
After Bai Zihao comes out of the closed door cultivation and sees Kong Muhua’s newly gained strength in acting pitiful, he’ll need another 50 years of closed door cultivation to make his heart stronger.. 🤣😂
true +1 💀
hahaha poor xiaobai it’s good that he’s gonna go back to general an long because im sure they loved each other considering they spent hundreds of years together 🥺
lmao bai zihao and kong muhua extras are too funny. I really find the rumours regarding them too hilarious 🤣🤣
huanhuan what kind of role playing acting are you teaching our cute sqs 🤣🥺