Edited by: Akane, Fallen, Pierce
Zhao Gongzi was going on a business trip, and said that he wasn’t coming back until tomorrow afternoon. I believed him.
After all, he’d just left this afternoon, and his former assistant-current manager had also said that there was such a trip in his schedule.
Therefore, I don’t know why he had bothered to hurry back from another city at midnight.
He screwed it up, didn’t he?
What was more terrifying than him screwing up was the possibility of him smashing in the head of the other party because of some unpredictable reason.
He had previously smashed in my former piano teacher’s head. At the time, I was more afraid that he would smash me one day, since this kind of thing is hard to tell.
Goodbye, my ⅛ kitty.
Of course, something that was more important than a ⅛ kitty is that when he opened the door, I was squatting by the doorway polishing shoes.
At that moment, he and I stared at each other, and both of us were feeling slightly awkward. Well, mainly it was me who was slightly awkward. It’s embarrassing, but I have some bad habits. For example, if I didn’t like doing chores, I would make up excuses to not do them, and get Zhao Gongzi to do them instead. I think I’ve told him that I’m allergic to shoe polish, just like he told me that he would be back tomorrow afternoon, and like how I forgot to tell him that tomorrow morning I was going to Jin Xian’er’ house to see my dog Hamm.
Between me and Zhao Gongzi, there were so many lies.
He coldly asked me, “What are you doing?”
“The shoe fell over so I’m putting it back.”
He coldly asked, “Why are you holding the shoe polish?”
“The shoe polish fell too, you know that when I do household chores I'm clumsy.”
“Then don’t do them.”
After that, he took off his jacket and gave it to me to hang up.
I hung up his coat, then came back to the living room to see him squatting by the doorway polishing shoes.
Recently, he’s been very strange. Before, he would only be willing to do chores when I was asleep, and when I was awake he would only curse that I was useless.
I asked, “How come you’re back so early? Didn’t you say that you’d be back tomorrow?”
Zhao Gongzi’s brows were scrunched up. “Laozi can fucking come back to Laozi’s house whenever Laozi wants!”
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
Llr afwqfg gfjiis kjr ylu.
“P’w pera mbcmfgcfv jybea sbe.”
Zhao Gongzi glanced at me, then turned away his gaze and continued polishing shoes. As he was polishing, he finally couldn’t keep on pretending, threw the shoe polish to the side and shouted at me, “Why the hell didn’t you find someone in the streets to polish the shoes?! Is Laozi so poor?! If word gets out, it’d seem as if Laozi can’t afford to provide for the family! Does Laozi not need to keep face?! Polishing shoes in the dead of the night like this–who the hell are you going to see tomorrow behind my back?!”
Llr defralbcr kfgf j yla cewfgber, la rffwr atja atja qgfnlber rlifcmf kjr pera tlw mbcrlvfglcu ktlmt defralbc ab jrx olgra.
“Qtfgf’r atf bcf tecvgfv fegbr atja P ujnf sbe sfrafgvjs?”
P mjiwis jcrkfgfv tlw, “P vlvc’a qbilrt jcs rtbfr, P’w jiifgulm ab rtbf qbilrt, P kjr pera qeaalcu atf rtbf yjmx.”
He lifted up a shoe and cursed at me, “You even polished Laozi’s shoes! Laozi’s new, one-month-old shoes were polished into looking like they’re two years older by you! Fuck, you don’t even know how to polish a shoe, what fucking use are you?! If you don’t know how to polish shoes then don’t polish them, find a shoe polisher from the streets to do it!”
“I was planning to go visit Hamm tomorrow.”
He threw the shoe. “If you go, then don’t come back!”
I reasonably suspect that he messed up while he was away, and now he’s acting out the phrase ‘a villain complains first’.
“Yesterday the money you gave me was used to pay the water bills and rent, and the down payment on the shoes you wanted.”
That pair of really ugly shoes.
I wouldn’t give him the money to buy them, but the one hundred euros was his money, so he could spend it however he liked. No matter what, it wasn’t my money being spent, I wouldn’t give him my money to spend on purchasing such ugly leather shoes, I was completely set, cold and heartless.
Zhao Gongzi coldly looked at me for a while, perhaps because he took into consideration the fact that I had bought those leather shoes he had been longing for, his anger lessened and he just lectured me, “Just like that is good, you have to buy what needs to be bought, it’s not as if Laozi can’t give you money.”
Buy buy buy, buy buy buy, if he keeps going on like this, sooner or later he’s going to have to sell me.
He threw the shoe polish aside, stood up and carefully washed his hands, then called me, “Rub hand lotion for me.”
Without me, it’s hard to imagine what would happen to him, where would Master Zhao Si and Thirteenth Madame find another tolerant, round-the-clock personal nanny like me for him?
I rubbed some of the hand lotion that Zhao Gongzi had gotten from his mom on for him, but he wasn’t satisfied and accused me, “You’re not taking this seriously!”
I could only carefully re-apply the hand lotion for him.
As I was rubbing it in, he said, “I haven’t eaten.”
I was more concerned about another matter. “How was the business trip?”
He coldly said, “You just want me to starve to death, even if Laozi dies, Laozi will bring you with me.”
He truly likes to make a fuss out of nothing.
I thought about the art of speaking that Jin Xian’er had taught me, changed tracks and asked, “How come you came back early but didn’t have time to eat dinner?”
Zhao Gongzi‘s expression slightly lightened, and cursed half-heartedly at me, “It’s all your fault, having so much crap to say, I almost forgot the important matters. Go and look at that box.”
I went to look at the box that he’d put on the table. It was a cake box, and was cool to the touch, with some condensation hanging around it.
He came over and opened the box and said, “The business over there was only for formalities, it was settled a long time ago. It just needed around five minutes to be signed, they just tricked Laozi to go over. Boss Qian got a chef from overseas, who specializes in baking ice cream cakes. When Laozi told you to come with me, you wouldn’t fucking take the time to get off from work. That chef was in a hurry to get on a plane to go home by tomorrow morning and Laozi doesn’t know when he’ll come again. You fucking love these sickly sweet new fangled things, weirdo, hurry up and eat otherwise it’ll melt.”
I suspect that Zhao Gongzi must have a giant scheme, so there’s a need for me to interrogate and torture a confession out of him.
So then I first attacked the mouth, then grabbed hold of the vital point, then was cursed at by him, “Fuck, eat the cake first! If you don’t, it’ll melt!”
At times like this, I only want to interrogate and torture a confession out of you! Fuck eating!
But I can’t beat Zhao Long in a fight, so I could only eat the cake first.
The cake truly is delicious.
After I’d eaten some cake, my entire being was feeling refreshed, so I asked him, “Have you ever considered smearing some cake on——”
He coldly said, “If you want to fucking kill Laozi, then just do it.”
He is so unromantic.
I made another suggestion, “Then what about if we use yogurt——”
He coldly said, “Hurry up and finish it, it’s going to melt.”
The coming fifty years for me may be spent frigidly and with no excitement, even describable as haggard, because I don’t have love, I only have a block of wood.
“I can’t eat anymore.”
He hollered at me, “You usually eat so much!”
I suggested that he eat some too, he ate two bites then complained that it was too cold, and wouldn’t eat anymore. It really is difficult for the both of us to have common interests and likes. Therefore, I could only tell him where I hid my chocolates. I don’t want to owe him any debts and want to be completely debtless with him in terms of grievances and boons.
And yet he cursed at me, “Fuck, who wants to eat your chocolate! Just eat, it’s really going to melt!”
He is so ferocious, I’m afraid that he’ll bash me, and could only work hard and eat. And yet he was extremely capricious, once I’d eaten up to half, he cursed at me again, “Won’t your stomach hurt?! If you eat and something goes wrong, then it’s Laozi’s fault!”
Ah! He’s so annoying!
“If you can’t eat, then don’t eat anymore! Laozi’s starving, do you want Laozi to starve to death?! Go cook!”
“Zhao Long, I want to sleep.”
Zhao Gongzi shouted at me, “Sleeping immediately after eating, are you a pig?”
It’s hard to imagine who would fall for him, for example, the president’s niece, and Thirteenth Madame’s friend’s daughter, for example, this one and that. Those people should really see Zhao Gongzi’s real side, and then they’ll stay far away from him.
I, full of fury, resentment and ice cream cake, went to cook for grumpy, short-tempered, annoying Zhao Gongzi.
After eating, he listened to the radio, then took a shower, and phoned someone. It was 3 in the morning when he finally went to sleep.
I was almost about to fall asleep for real.
Of course, I didn’t actually fall asleep, I still had to test him and see if he had messed up and done a tremendous blunder, or if he had some other sinister motive. If it really was like that, then I could also plan my future as early as possible.
I went and interrogated Zhao Gongzi. Zhao Gongzi just said, “Fuck, shut up.”
He continued, “Fuck, don’t be so talkative at a time like this.”
“Qiu Yixin, do you have a problem?”
“Fuck, your birthday is today! You really didn’t remember?!”
I said, “My birthday is the day after tomorrow.”
Zhao Gongzi: “……”
I said, “We don’t need to celebrate on the day after tomorrow then.”
Zhao Gongzi flew into a rage born of embarrassment. “Laozi can’t afford to give you two birthday celebrations?!”
I said, “At times like this, you shouldn’t be so noisy.”
Zhao Gongzi’s journal:
I know that Qiu Yixin’s birthday is the day after tomorrow.
Last week I took that book that Qiu Yixin wants to pass down as a family heirloom because it was signed by that poor author and borrowed it to my nephew. That brat dropped it in some water. God damn it.
Rinrin: Pfft, cake play. Also, Zhao Long, Yixin really does understand you (if there’s something different in your behaviour then something’s wrong hhhhh)
thanks for the chapter <3
This couple is just too everything… 😆
thanks for the cake-y chapter ☺
Awwww🎂🎂🎂🎂
thanks for the chapter!