Translator: phizzlepop
Editor: mantou
A dim hall. Row upon row of neatly arranged computer screens, a scattered few emitting a dazzling light. Within the halos of light were all guileless, innocent faces that should’ve been filled with youthful spirit and vigor. But, at the moment, many of them were shrouded instead in the putrid odor of someone with one foot in the grave, giving them a natural air of imperturbable elegance beyond their years.
Song Fei was a member of this crowd, but he insisted that this outcome that thoroughly contradicted a socialist successor’s temperament was this internet cafe’s fault— with the godly assistance of a lounge chair mottled with peeling leather, a computer desk with an original color that was nigh impossible to identify, a black keyboard with dirt hidden in its crevices, a wired mouse with a complete lack of smooth sliding ability, and a feces-yellow dome light with an extremely weak glow, even if Pan An incarnate was sitting here, he would absolutely, without a doubt, still be 360° of dead ends.
In the post-internet cafe era where smartphones were already ubiquitous, this store still unyieldingly stood upright with the spirit of the new millenium. This gave Song Fei the illusion that he was going back in time every time he stepped in, as though he had returned to the third grade, those glorious days of taking advantage of mom and dad falling asleep at night to sneak out and play games at the internet cafe. Of course, that period of glory later ended with a fat beating from his loving father. But, to be honest, even that internet cafe back then had decorations that were more avant-garde than this one’s right now.
In this day and age, not many people went to Internet cafes anymore. Song Fei felt that the reason this shop could persist until now was thanks to their school’s lights-out system. Although cell phones could still connect to mobile data after lights-out, as a highly self-disciplined individual, he still had yet to be willful despite seeing the “Wi-Fi usage is recommended when browsing, local tyrants please do as you will” prompt each time. If he wanted to catch a live broadcast of a competition or whatever, he could only turn to this one and only internet cafe within a five-mile radius for help.
“On cold nights I often dream of~~
Your youthful looks~~
Even after thousands of years~~
Who will let you accompany them~~
To sing all along the path to the West...”
The desolate, rough, and unrestrained singing of a male rock artist suddenly sounded, seeming particularly abrupt in the quiet hall with few people. Even though it was his own ringtone, Song Fei was still taken aback. The caller ID showed Wang Qingyuan.
”What’s up?” As roommates and buddies, Song Fei knew that based on the other’s personality, he wouldn’t call and bother him for no reason.
“Hurry back, room inspection.” Wang Qingyuan said concisely.
Song Fei’s first reaction was to look at the time on his display. “It’s already f*cking ten o’clock!”
“Checking at this time is just right ah, those who aren’t back are 100% planning on staying out all night.”
“D*mn!” What decade were they even living in to still be checking for people staying out. Plus, this was really the first time all semester that Song Fei had left for the night. Even a sniper wouldn’t be this accurate!
Not tarrying for even a second, Song Fei decisively retreated— live competitions were very valuable, comprehensive evaluations even more so. If you let the advisors take note of you, in the next few years, there’d be nowhere left for you to cry.
Song Fei’s university was located on the outskirts of the city, about twenty to thirty kilometers out from the city center. Originally it was a county, a vast swath of wilderness, but with the expansion of the city over the past two years, it had transformed into several new campuses for the inner-city universities. Glorified as a university town, but actually still terribly deserted, all kinds of complementing facilities in the periphery still had yet to be be constructed. Song Fei’s school especially, was located at the innermost section in a row of new campuses, so a few steps ahead was completely uninhabited, while from behind, getting to the nearest school would still take four stops. The school faced the south, and across the main road in front of the southern main gates were a scant few shops. Exiting from any of the other three sides gave way to an idyllic scenery, which practically made a good number of students feel as though there was really nothing left to live for.
The internet cafe Song Fei was overnighting in was also at this location, so after coming out and crossing the road, he zipped through the school gates.
However, the long, arduous journey had just begun.
The city center was practically worth an ounce of gold for every inch of land, so the old campuses had always seemed very cramped. But with the new campuses, this kind of issue didn’t exist at all. Wanted to do some long-distance running? No need to run circles around the sports field so bitterly. From the school gates to the dormitories, go forth and realize your dreams of being an Oriental deer god!
Di da.
From his pocket came the clear and melodious tones of a WeChat notification, and the huffing and puffing deer god Song Fei kept on sprinting wildly into the dim light of night as he fished out his cell phone and listened to his voice messages. It was still Wang Qingyuan. “Where are you now? They’re already on our floor. This time the student council and department faculty are doing a joint inspection. This isn’t a minor situation.”
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
“Just past the physics building… huchi… help cover for me… just a sec!” He released his thumb and with a whoosh, the message was sent successfully.
Vbcu Mfl tegglfvis qea tlr mfii qtbcf yjmx, fzfgafv wbgf ragfcuat, jcv ecifjrtfv tlr agef qbafcalji.
Vfnfc wlceafr ijafg. Ktf wjif vbgwlabglfr, 2cv oibbg, gbbw cewyfg 440 olcjiis kfimbwfv lar kjcvfglcu lctjylajca yjmx. Dea, obgfluc obgmfr tjv jigfjvs lcnjvfv, jcv atlr kjcvfgfg ecfzqfmafvis ijcvfv gluta lcab atflg tjcvr.
“Song Fei, you’re back?” Standing in the middle of the dormitory, Jia-laoshi, an advisor for the Department of History and Culture, was smiling radiantly.
“Jia-laoshi, good evening!” Standing at the doorway of the dormitory room, Song-tongxue from the Travel Management program in the Department of History and Culture was brimming with enthusiasm.
Ktf jvnlrbg jcv raevfca ibbxfv ja fjmt batfg obg j ofk rfmbcvr, yfobgf atf obgwfg jrxfv olgra: “Qtfgf tjnf sbe yffc?”
The latter without hesitation: “Restroom.”
As soon as these words came out, Song Fei saw that among his three other roommates, those holding their heads held their heads, while those rolling their eyes rolled their eyes, and his heart sank.
Sure enough, Jia-laoshi’s smile subtly brightened: “These three said that you wanted to eat instant noodles, but the dormitory room thermos was empty and coincidentally, there was a classmate who chose the same elective course as you and had a pretty good relationship with you, so you went upstairs to borrow hot water, but because these three didn’t know exactly which room this classmate was in, they couldn’t go upstairs to get you, while you’d only left to borrow hot water, so you hadn’t brought your cell phone with you.”
Song Fei swallowed with great difficulty: “The reason for not being in the room is truly… full of elaborate detail.”
Jia-laoshi gave him a dirty look, obviously knowing better. These days, those who could become advisors weren’t ordinary people. Spending each day fighting battles of wits and courage with upwards of a hundred students, even ordinary people would’ve become iron soldiers by now.
With a heihei, Song Fei shamelessly considered things settled this way.
Jia-laoshi didn’t pay any more attention to him, walked to the doorway, and earnestly called over the few student council officers who’d already inspected their way through the end of the corridor, “Tongxue, the History department’s 440 who went to the restroom is back—”
Soon, the four members of the student council returned holding pens and notebooks. Song Fei was holding a cup and drinking water, when he suddenly saw a familiar face and immediately choked, almost coughing his lungs out.
Jia-laoshi was startled, and mercilessly ridiculed, “Just a sip of water, and you can’t even drink it properly.”
Song Fei was awfully embarrassed, and he hurriedly put down the cup. He could feel Qi Yan looking at him. If this were any other time, he would’ve looked right back at him. Everyone only had one nose and two eyes, how could anyone be any worse off, ah. But since he had just “returned from the restroom” and had so ferociously magnified his own presence, looking back at the other, the backbone of the student council, the red armband of the inspection team, the stark contrast was much too great.
F*ck, how’d he forget about that guy being part of the student council.
While Song Fei was mumbling over here, the inspection team did a headcount over there. Normally, this would only take three to five seconds, but the latter still hadn’t left yet even after finishing. To be more precise, the other three had all bowed out already, while only Qi Yan was still standing in the room.
Not only the 440 buddies, but also Jia-laoshi was puzzled. “Is there some other problem?”
Qi Yan had sword-like eyebrows and glittering eyes. Especially when he smiled, he appeared both sunny and handsome, which easily gave people a positive impression. For example, right now: “Jia-laoshi, in addition to checking for those staying out, we may have to check for high-wattage appliances as well.”
Qi Yan’s manner of speaking was very tactful. It clearly was “must check”, but he said “may”, as though he was discussing things with the other.
This gesture of slightly lowering himself was really useful. Jia-laoshi immediately waved his arm, “That’s a must, the school clearly prohibits electrical usage that goes against regulations. Check!”
It wasn’t enough to just say that. Jia-laoshi very heroically took the lead for the inspection.
Qi Yan followed behind him, not saying a word.
The four 440 comrades all speechlessly eyed one another. Three of them had well-devised plans.
Their small home turf didn’t require any more than two minutes for a complete look around. Jia-laoshi quickly finished his inspection, two hands empty, one gratified expression on his face. Qi Yan had stopped at the desk under Song Fei’s loft bed, seemingly absorbed in thought.
Jia-laoshi didn’t understand. “What’s the matter?”
Qi Yan pointed to the laptop on the desk and the computer case under the desk, “It’s a bit strange… if you already have a laptop computer, then why do you still need a case?”
Jia-laoshi was tongue-tied. This question, whether in terms of the meaning or the answer, were all outside his purview.
Qi Yan squatted down, moved the case out, and laid it flat. Under Song Fei’s scorching gaze, with a kada, he deftly removed the side panel.
Jia-laoshi’s eyes nearly popped out of his head. It was like Qi Yan hadn’t opened a case, but had dissected an alien instead— the inside of the case not having a motherboard, a fan, or a RAM stick was still tolerable, but it concealing three immersion heaters, two electric cookers, a hair dryer, and more importantly, had still been f*cking discovered by someone, how was he supposed to stand it?!
“Song. Fei!!!”
“Jia-laoshi!!!”
Although his cry was full of deep feeling, his thigh-hugging very persistent, the advisor still kicked Song Fei aside in the end, and on the back of Qi Yan’s notebook with “440 prohibited appliance inspection totaling 6 items” written on it, he signed his name with enough force to pierce through the back. of. the. paper.
The use of prohibited appliances was as commonplace in universities as dating. At most, the appliances would be confiscated, and reprimands would be doled out. At worst, the entire department or even the entire school would be notified, and that’d be the end of it. However, the three 440 buddies who’d finally managed to send off the inspection team couldn’t figure out how exactly they’d given themselves away. Although the case had been placed under Song Fei’s desk, he’d actually only had that one immersion heater, while the rest were all for the other three. Especially for Ren Zhe, as the owner of an imported hair dryer, his heart was practically dripping blood, “What’s up with that? One glance and he knew? Sharingan, ah!”
“How miraculous…” Xiang Yang looked at the empty remains of the case left behind on the ground, still feeling amazed.
Wang Qingyuan glanced at Song Fei uncertainly, but didn’t speak.
Song Fei had almost gnashed his teeth to pieces.
Enduring until the eleven o’clock lights out with great difficulty, Song Fei climbed up his loft bed, hid himself under his blankets, then opened up WeChat and began to furiously type on his phone—【Do you f*cking have nothing better to do!!!!!!!!!!!!!】
No amount of exclamation marks could truly express Song Fei’s overwhelming desire to greet Qi Yan’s ancestors.
That side responded very quickly—【For someone in the jianghu, his body is no longer his own.】
【F*ck off, you’re just abusing your power over a petty grudge!!!!!!!!!】
【Is there a grudge between us?】
This one sentence sapped the energy from Song Fei’s tirade.
Did they have a grudge? Not really. Although the course of their relationship was brief and not particularly great, there were still times of insatiable, hot-blooded passion. Occasionally they’d even whisper sweet nothings in bed, like moving up to the other’s ear and secretly showing off prohibited appliance concealment techniques. Although they’d broken up amicably over WeChat later on, even if they ran into each other in line while holding onto their plates in the canteen, they could still nod at each other. Everything was very harmonious.
Until today, when they shed all pretenses and forged an unquenchable debt of blood over an immersion heater.
His phone suddenly vibrated again. Song Fei assumed Qi Yan had sent something else to provoke him with after not receiving a response. To his surprise, it was Wang Qingyuan—【So, it’s him?】
Wang Qingyuan was the only one in the dormitory who knew that he wasn’t straight. He also knew that he’d recently dated a guy from their school. But, he hadn’t shared any specifics and wasn’t a person who was easy to inquire about, so he hadn’t asked for the details. He only knew that they weren’t together for long before breaking up. After the fiasco today, others might think until their brains burst and still not be able to put things together, but once Wang-xueba pondered a bit, the truth came out. As an academic underachiever, Song Fei really wanted to prostrate himself in admiration—【En.】
【Very handsome.】
【What sh*tty use is it, it can't be eaten.】
【Then what’d you see in him back then?】
【Big-hearted.】
【…】
Song Fei didn’t know what this “dot dot dot” was supposed to mean. He thought maybe he hadn’t expressed himself clearly. The big-hearted he was referring to didn’t mean being willing to spend money on him, but that he felt this person was more mature, generous, and handled things properly. Of course, he later found out that this was all a facade.
With a sigh, Song Fei held up his phone again, preparing to send an explanation to his roommate. Unexpectedly, another message came from that end—
【Tired, going to sleep.】
Usually, this signified the end of a conversation. Song Fei pursed his lips, thinking it didn’t matter much anyway. In any case, these were already things of the past. He already didn’t have much to say to Qi Yan, a concerned party, much less to Wang Qingyuan… wait a minute!
Song Fei suddenly held his phone up to his face and took a close look. He wasn’t sure how exactly he’d jerked his hand while typing, but he discovered that when he’d sent that “big-hearted” line to Wang Qinyuan, only the word “big” had been sent over, while “hearted” was gone without a trace. So the chat record at the moment was—
【What’d you see in him back then?】
【Big】
【…】
【Tired, going to sleep.】
Don’t sleep, listen to me explain ah!!!
Author’s Chapter Summary:
Dormitory safety is very important, no mercy for appliance concealment!
The translator has something to say: Wang Qingyuan has gone offline.
P.S. hi guys, I’m picking this up from Strictly Bromance, home to “The Trial Game of Life”, among other lovely translations, where the first few chapters have already been translated. this is just my version so I can add in my own translator’s notes. the author references ancient Chinese classics and idiomatic expressions quite frequently, esp in the first few chapters, so heads-up, there’s quite a few TL Notes. I can only guarantee 1 ch/wk currently, but depending on the word count, I may be able to release 2. When I get more free time or when I finish translating my other project (SSSG), whichever comes first, I’ll amp up the releases. thank you for your understanding! (´,,•ω•,,)♡
ahhhh what a jerk! I guess the breakup wasn’t so friendly?
thanks for the chapter! <3
SF: yeah we broke up amicably
QY: 🙂
SF: !!!?!
love the author/SF’s narration + subtle background info reveals
thanks for reading!
Lmao that misunderstanding 😂
Thanks for the chapter!
WQY: “aight imma head out”
thanks for reading!
Thanks for the chapter! ^^)❤
thanks for reading! °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°
My brain’s all mushy right now, i probably need to read this a second time XD I got the gist of it but my brain’s not processing the word, love the writing style though. Reminds me of my brother (灬º‿º灬)♡
hahaha the author really went hard with the first chapter, it took me forever to translate it… def love the writing style, but I promise the other ones are a touch more casual (o･ω･o)
Ohh I’m so happy this was picked up!
hope you enjoy! glad you’re here~
Big~ GG, if that happened to me and my friends I don’t think they would enquire after my love life anymore xD Now if only Qi Yan got around to hearing about it from Wang QingYuan hahahahha ~pls stay extra with the TL notes, I <3 it so much~
hahahaha, WQY: #bye
fear not, being extra is my philosophy (/ε＼*)
gonna try and make the TL notes a bit more compact though by using some abbreviations so hopefully it’s easier to read + more uniform~
Again, thank you. I have read the raw after this got dropped but there is just too many idioms etc I can’t get pass 10+ chapters before my brain shutting down so really, thank you for your hard work on this I really really really appreciating it.
I don’t want to sounds like a tape recorder so I won’t say thank you too much and I might not always commenting but I just want you to know I really grateful for your hard work translating this >_<
awww~ you guys are all so sweet, haha, so happy to see all of you excited about this being picked up!
really hope you guys enjoy this story + these translations!! (´｡• ω •｡`) ♡
Haha, that chapter took me a while, so many TL’s xDD But nice work~ (๑•̀ㅂ•́)و✧
Thx for the ch and I’m looking forward to the zombie action :3
ackkk I know.. it’s like a farm of TL notes out here… I’ve basically been replacing chinese idiomatic expressions with english idiomatic expressions, then getting paranoid that things may be too vague and TL-noting it all + other extraneous things…
thanks for reading! also excited for zombies~
Lmao, poor Wang Qingyuan. 🤣
Thank you for the chapter 💜💜💜
hahaha WQY come back!!!!
thanks for reading! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧
I wonder how big it is…
(¬‿¬ ) (¬‿¬ ) (¬‿¬ )
How funny. Their school is pretty strict for university students.
hahaha the advisor’s reaction to the appliances being found by QY.
and I know!! I’ve heard some of the universities have adopted more casual rules, though some of them are still more strict about not staying out overnight. I probably wouldn’t have made it through college like that then haha def a night owl…
Tysm for picking this up!!
thanks for reading! <3
hope you enjoy~
Finally decided to bite the bullet and start another book. 😝. Thanks for your hard work! Bring on the zombie apocalypse! 🎉
PS – I am onboard with Song Fei, Qi Yan is being a petty d**k!
hahaha welcome! I find this one is more slow-paced, esp at the beginning, and evokes feelings that balance SSSG out perfectly… zombies everywhere though 😬
this image is so cute >.<
ehehehe hello idol yanyan
this poor un-athletic guy, i’d die too sprinting that far… not a single day goes by when i don’t think about the flying cars we were promised in “back to the future” QAQ
This was hilarious 😂
Out of topic your pfp is so cute
Thank you so much for the chapter ( ˘ ³˘)♥
Aqui estoy!! la comenzare el resumen me recuerda a Gakko gurashi 😁
Came back to catch up on this novel and WQY’s reaction still gets me XD
big 😏
Re-reading this and I still love it! For you newcomers, you’re in for a treat.