Yao Zhihao has waited for this day.
He missed Shao Yuhan. It has been hard not trying to go back to his place to see him. Yao Zhihao’s fingers even twitched to text or track (something he promised never to do again) Shao Yuhan to know how he was doing.
And finally, after everything that happened with him and his family, he was ready to face Shao Yuhan again and talk with him. Xian Bo told him he should wait and probably cultivate his relationship with Yao Wen for now.
He spent the weekend with his brother (it is still weird for him to say), but Yao Zhihao felt like he couldn’t wait much longer. His body craved to see Shao Yuhan.
So, here he is, at Shao Yuhan’s place while disregarding Xian Bo’s advice.
Yao Zhihao knew Shao Yuhan did not have work today (he swears he didn’t stalk). He hoped that the man was home. After a few seconds of thinking, Yao Zhihao knocked on the door.
He waited for a while before the door opened, showing a sleepy Shao Yuhan. Shao Yuhan looked like he had just gotten out of bed as he rubbed his eyes while yawning. His bed hair made Yao Zhihao want to reach over and run his hand through it.
“Hey.” Yao Zhihao greeted, causing the sleepiness to leave Shao Yuhan’s eyes when he heard the familiar voice. He peered at Yao Zhihao with clear eyes.
The silence between them was weird. Yao Zhihao and Shao Yuhan had much to say, but at the same time, nothing at all. As it started to drag on, with them speaking with their eyes, Yao Zhihao started talking with words once more.
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
“Can I come in?”
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“I got help and am still getting it. I’ve been trying to deal with my problems while getting closure.” Yao Zhihao answered. He paused for a second before starting again, not giving Shao Yuhan the chance to respond.
“I want to apologize to you. I wronged you in high school when I tried to catch you. And I wronged you when I finally had you in my arms. I told you cruel things, tracked you, and tried to keep a tight leash on you. Honestly, I don’t deserve you; I never did.
“But fuck Shao Yuhan, you have to believe me when I say I love you so fucking much. I did not have love in my life. My parents hated me and gave me zero care; their motto in life was to lock me away when I created “trouble.” And when I was younger, people made fun of me, calling me a freak, because my only friend was a stuffed animal named Little BiBi that I pretended was alive.
“Little BiBi was the only thing that liked me; I did not care if he wasn’t real. My social skills were even worse, especially after my parents took me from school and told me I could never leave the house. The first time I went outside my home and anywhere else was when they let me go to high school.
“And I had a brother, you know? My parents wanted to replace me with him. But, he ended up being the first human to show me love. And you know what I did? I broke him. I wanted to hold someone that finally cared for me to myself and not share them with anyone because I feared them disappearing. But all I did was break him and try to kill him when my parents separated us.
“And then I met you. You never said you like me, but you complimented me a few times, and you were so different from everyone else. I wanted you so much and didn’t want anyone to take you away. I stupidly fell back into my toxic behavior that broke my brother and almost did the same to you.
“I know my apologies will never cover the past. Nothing will. But, I want to start over with you; I want to do right by you if you allow it.” Yao Zhihao explained, breathing hard from talking so long. Even his words almost brought out tears, but they stayed behind.
Shao Yuhan stared at Yao Zhihao while not saying anything. The silence made Yao Zhihao’s stomach churn. He started thinking that Shao Yuhan was utterly done with him because what person wanted to be with someone as fucked up like him?
But, instead of running away or pushing Yao Zhihao away, Shao Yuhan stood up, dropping his pillow on the couch as he made his way over. He sat down next to Yao Zhihao, grabbing his hand and loosening them. Yao Zhihao did not realize that his hands were clenched tightly into a fist—his nails dug into his palms.
Shao Yuhan looked down at his hand, flipping them over as he rubbed the nail marks in Yao Zhihao’s palms—luckily, the skin didn’t break. “Be careful; I don’t want you hurting yourself.”
“I—” Yao Zhihao’s voice broke as tears finally slipped down his cheeks. Fuck, he is tired of crying, but they seem to have been coming out lately. They finally broke through the dam he surrounded them in long ago.
Using his free hand, Shao Yuhan touched his cheek, wiping away his tears. “I could say that this side of you, I would have loved to have met long ago or that I wished I knew you when you were young. But, as you said, the past can never change. What happened, happened. We can only push for the present and the future.”
He paused, leaning close as he laid his forehead on Yao Zhihao’s shoulder. “I am still angry about everything that happened between us. The anger may have lessened (mostly going towards Yao Zhihao’s parents) after knowing that it is entirely not your fault, but it still lingers. Yao Zhihao, I want to start over, but as friends first.”
Yao Zhihao felt the tightness in his heart disappear as his stomach did not hurt anymore. There was a lightness to him as he knew that Shao Yuhan was not going anywhere. And even if it is starting as friends, he is 100% fine with it because that means he could still have him in his life.
He set his other hand on top of Shao Yuhan’s hand that still held his. “That is okay. Honestly, that is more than okay. I thought you were going to leave; I thought you did not want to deal with me anymore.” Yao Zhihao quickly let out.
He wanted nothing more than to pull Shao Yuhan in his arms, but he held back because he promised to do everything right for him. Yao Zhihao is tired of losing those he holds dear—even when the number of people is extremely tiny.
“We already created a bond; what is the point of letting it burn on a terrible ending?” Shao Yuhan responded. Although, he won’t mention that a small part of him misses Yao Zhihao.
It is hard to count the good moments between them, but it was there, which made Shao Yuhan come back every time. God, that sounded toxic. Shao Yuhan thought to himself.
“Then, can I invite you to breakfast as a friend?” Yao Zhihao asked.
“Right now?” Shao Yuhan questioned, picking up his head.
“Yeah.”
“No. Let’s do brunch; I am still tired.” Shao Yuhan let him go, standing up as he stretched himself. “You can stay here in the living room; I am going to nap for a few minutes.” Then, he walked away without a single glance.
Yao Zhihao watched Shao Yuhan with an amused expression before getting himself comfortable on the couch. He pulled out his phone as he started playing on it.
He did not mind waiting for Shao Yuhan.
Five chapters left for this arc. We are going to have another intermission that is two chapters; it is over them in high school and how things went down. The last three chapters are where Ye Xun’s mother gets what coming to her and fluff with the couples.
If your wondering, Shao Yuhan did not gloss over what Yao Zhihao dealt with; he is honestly terrible at comfort. He rather focus on the positive than dwelling on the negative. It is fine, they will still have talks with each other; Shao Yuhan’s knows that his presence is enough for Yao Zhihao.
Ah at first with how you introduced Shao Yuhan I was kind of scared he was going to be a bastard and just wanted to get into Ye Xun’s pants but now… man I really like him!! 😌
I’m so glad he could accept Yao Zhihao back in his life and even though they need to start over as friends, I’m sure they’ll sooner than later come back to lovers, and with a healthier relationship this time 🤭
Shao Yuhan is the type that once he sets a goal, he wants to achieve it no matter what (sometimes making him come off eh). He still clings to wanting to be like Ye Xun because he still believes that Ye Xun has it all.
And it would be sooner, most likely (Shao Yuhan misses the warmth in bed. He is bad with feelings and secretly loves to cuddle but would never admit it.)
Exactly!
Shao Yuhan didn’t embrace Yao Zhihao’s horrible childhood as an excuse and pretend everything would be better, which doesn’t help people change anyway. Instead, he’s offering a realistic reward for improved behavior and making Yao Zhihao do the work he needs to do. Well done.
I like where you are going with this. Thank you!!!