After that incident with Asakura-san, Kurosawa-san kept a strange distance from me. Even when he came over for lunch, it seemed like he had an evasive attitude. He didn’t cook or stay to eat with me, merely bringing over a bento and leaving immediately afterwards. He avoided looking me in the eye or talking about trivial stuff like usual. I also noticed that he didn’t smile so much anymore, always having a gloomy expression on his face. The few times I tried confronting him about it, he simply shrugged it off as being busy or tired.
Well, if he didn’t want to tell me, there was nothing I could do about it. Not like I could just read his mind and find out the mystery behind his abnormal behavior. But I had to admit that it made me feel rather upset. I kind of missed our talks during lunch, or his silly cheerful smile. Could it be that I had gotten used to his presence so much that it made his absence all the more painful? Previously, being alone was natural and felt comfortable, so why was it that now I was feeling so restless, like something was amiss?
Things continued in this manner for a week, until one Thursday night, when something ludicrous happened. Even now when I think about it, I still find it perplexing.
I had just finished taking a shower and was about to lie down in bed and read for a while, when I heard noises coming from the door. The cat and I both stared in the direction of the entrance as if we were expecting aliens to pop out of nowhere.
At first, I thought it might be some neighbor walking past my door and hitting it with something but when the noise kept going on and off, I decided to go and check it out.
I looked through the peephole but I couldn’t see clearly. There seemed to be someone in front of the door, trying to use a key to unlock it. The small light on the corridor cast a flickering shadow over the person’s face and then, to my utter surprise, I saw Kurosawa-san’s side profile.
Confused, I cracked the door open and was about to ask what was going on, when the door was pushed open and Kurosawa-san strode inside my apartment like he owned the place. When he rushed past me, I could smell a strong scent of alcohol and cigarettes. So, it appeared he had been out drinking and had one too many glasses, which led him to mistake my house for his.
He was holding a key in one hand, while brushing his disheveled hair with the other. His necktie was askew and two buttons of his shirt were undone, revealing a good portion of his skin.
Kurosawa-san’s drunken gaze circled around the apartment several times, until it finally settled on me.
“Ah, this is Masato-sensei. Why is he here?”
“Hah? This is my house, you idiot. Obviously, I’d be here.”
“Why do I keep seeing him in front of me? This is bad, really bad. I keep dreaming about him and thinking about him so much that I see his face whenever I close my eyes and now even when I keep them open.”
What?! What nonsense is this idiot spouting now? Has he drunk so much that his brain became mush and he cannot think straight? Or has he gone silly from overwork?
“Really, I know I like men but I’m so infatuated with him that it’s beginning to scare me.”
“Well, that makes two of us. You’re really scaring me right now. So, Kurosawa-san, please wake up and go home.”
“No! I’m not leaving unless you come with me.”
“Why would I go with you?! This is my house!”
“You have to come with me.” Kurosawa-san continued to ramble. “There are so many things I wanna show you. Being cooped up in this house all the time is not good.”
Ah, so now he realizes this is in fact my house and not his. Good, we’re finally getting somewhere. Maybe I’ll be able to make him go away soon.
I was really too naive to think that way, though.
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
“The world is such a beautiful place, Masato-sensei. You have to see more of the world.” Kurosawa-san said, a lopsided grin forming on his face. I had to admit that he looked quite comical.
“P’w rfflcu fcbeut bo atf kbgiv gluta cbk jcv P tjnf ab rjs P vbc’a ilxf la nfgs wemt. Vb, kbeiv sbe qifjrf ub jkjs jcv ajxf atja kbgiv klat sbe?” P jrxfv lc vfrqfgjalbc. Ccv lc bgvfg ab ufa ws qblca jmgbrr P jirb yfujc rtbnlcu tlr ybvs abkjgvr atf vbbg, tbqlcu P’v yf jyif ab atgbk tlw bea delmxis.
However, it seemed that I underestimated the level of stubbornness a drunkard has. Instead of cooperating with me, Kurosawa-san pushed himself against the wall and clung to me like a desperate lizard about to drown. The more I tried to pry him off of me, the tighter his hold became. Eventually, I had to call it quits and give up on throwing him off. This guy was really too strong even while inebriated.
“Masato-sensei, do you like me?” Kurosawa-san unexpectedly asked, giving me a sudden jolt of surprise. My heart thumped loudly and I almost smacked him across the head. Who asks such a question directly like that?!
“What are you talking about?! Of course, I don’t like you!” I barked, feeling my cheeks heating up.
“Tsk, so mean. You are so mean Masato-sensei.” He pouted and whined.
“Yes, yes, I am mean and awful. So why don’t you get along somewhere else?” I snapped, giving him a harsh shove.
I never really had patience with drunk people. They always talk nonsense and never remember anything the next day. Just like this guy. He’s been acting weird for days, not telling me what’s wrong and now he comes here like this and acts out on the account of alcohol? As if I would care for him!
That shove, though, seemed to have attracted his attention, because the next moment he stopped struggling and stared at me fixedly. His gaze was blurry and unfocused, but his eyes had a peculiar glow inside them. It felt intense, as if he was scanning me and seeing right through my soul. I tried to repress a shudder, while backing away from him. However, that triggered him into action.
It took him only a single step to reach me, his arms wrapping around my body like two hungry snakes. A moment later he lowered his head and his face came closer and closer, until all I could see were his eyes. Then, his lips were touching mine and he was kissing me. It wasn’t a gentle touch, nor the awkward movement one would imagine from someone this drunk. No, his lips were kissing me with a smoldering passion, his tongue chasing mine like a hungry hound chasing its prey. I could feel the urgency and the rising heat of his feelings through every single touch. His hold was becoming more and more unbearable and I felt faint from the lack of oxygen.
Maybe it was because my mind became fuzzy from the shock, but I thought I heard some whispers lingering inside my mind. Softly, gently like butterflies, they were swirling inside my head desperately trying to cross over that barrier. For the first time, I could even hear sporadic words but they were interrupted by the same static sound, like a broken-down radio.
Masa… Keita … I … Masato… you… please… look at… Keita…
I couldn’t hear a single proper sentence and the words soon faded away.
Just when I was about to struggle further in order to regain my freedom, Kurosawa-san suddenly stopped his actions. The next second I felt his body dropping down, pressing heavily onto me. It appeared that he lost consciousness due to the alcohol and was sliding onto the floor, while dragging me down with him.
“Kurosawa-san, if you dare to forget everything you’ve done to me tonight, I swear I’ll crack your skull open and force you to remember every single thing if it’s the last thing I do.” I said, seething with anger. First being harassed, then forcefully kissed and now pressed down on the floor by an unconscious lump of meat. This definitely proved to be a memorable night for me.
Just as expected, the next morning Kurosawa-san couldn’t remember a single thing. And the fact that we had been in a state of cold war before made the current situation even more embarrassing.
“Uhm, Masato-sensei, why am I here?” He asked in confusion when he saw himself lying on my sofa.
“Oddly enough, I was going to ask you the same thing.” I retorted while holding a cup of coffee, leaning against the wall across from him.
“Could it be that… Did I come here… by myself?” He asked tentatively.
“Or else what? Do you think I went downtown and kidnapped you last night while you were dead drunk?” I snapped, feeling a strong urge to hit this absurd person with something large and preferably deadly.
“No, uhm yes, you’re right, ha-ha.” He dared to laugh, scratching his head in awkwardness. “I must have come here by myself. Last night we had a drinking party with everybody from the editorial department and I must have overdone it. I apologize for barging in like this and causing you trouble. I hope I didn’t do anything too shameful, did I?”
His hopeful gaze only lit the fire of malice inside my chest. I wanted to viciously lay out to him everything he did and see how his innocent expression changes. I wanted to see the color fading from his eyes when he realizes just how much he had embarrassed himself in front of me. Especially after he had avoided me like that for so many days.
“Oh…” I began, feeling an insidious smile curving my lips. “Depends on what you want me to begin with. Perhaps the drunken confession of infatuation? Or better yet, the lame kiss you’ve given me right before you lost consciousness?”
The effect was exactly as I had expected. The moment my words fell, Kurosawa-san’s expression changed abruptly. His face paled to a deathly white, his lips trembled and his eyes ogled at me like that of a dying fish. I felt satisfied and considered it my payment for the hassle I went through last night. Therefore, I decided to be merciful and spare his life.
“Don’t worry too much.” I said waving a hand leisurely. “I don’t take to heart what a drunk person says or does.”
Kurosawa-san later left without saying much except for a bout of apologies and assurances that it will never happen again.
As I was watching his back disappearing behind the door, I suddenly remembered the heated kiss we shared last night. I may have been mean when I called it lame earlier, since it truly had been a very arousing kiss. But I wasn’t going to admit that to Kurosawa-san in case he starts having weird thoughts about it. Besides, his mumbles and declarations must have been the result of alcohol intoxication. It wasn’t really true that he likes me, was it? I never picked up anything like that from him and he also didn’t say it upfront, therefore, surely, it cannot be true.
With these confusing thoughts I kept myself busy for the rest of the day, being unable to reach a satisfying conclusion. Therefore, I simply decided to stop thinking and forget about it. With his recent avoidance, Kurosawa-san must have already put it behind him by now.
Reaching up to this point, I began feeling dejected. What will happen now? Will he continue to avoid me? After all, it wasn’t like he was supposed to do all those things for me. He’s my editor and maybe we have gotten closer to being friends, but that still didn’t mean we had any other type of relationship. Maybe reverting back to a simple author-editor rapport is just natural.
Before I could fall further down in my gloom, the phone suddenly rang. It was Kota-san. I sighed deeply when I saw his name showing on the screen. This person… he surely knows how to pick the times when to call.
“Keita-chan~~~! I hope you’re at home because I am on my way to you.” Kota-san’s loud voice came through the phone.
“If you wanted to make sure that I was at home you should have called before leaving for my place.”
“Oh, does that mean you’re not there?”
“No, I’m home. You can come over.” I said in a monotonous voice.
“Alright. I’ll be there in five minutes. Get ready to talk.”
“Eh? Talk about what?”
“About what’s going on with you. I’m picking up unhappy vibes from your voice.”
Before I could reply, Kota-san had already hung up. So, he already figured out something was wrong with me just from this conversation? Such sharp senses… Sometimes it made me wonder if he also possessed special abilities like me.
True to his word, Kota-san arrived in five minutes, and began ‘the questioning’ the moment he took a seat on the couch.
That day I told Kota-san everything that had happened, including the meeting with director Asakura-san and the drunken debacle from last night. Maybe because I was feeling down, or perhaps because I was beginning to yearn for something I missed. Either way, I wanted to pour out all the confusing thoughts, hoping that by letting them out I could somehow make better sense of things.
After listening to what I had to say, Kota-san remained silent for a few moments. After what felt like an eternity, he finally spoke.
“You should have at least fed him some hangover food. Letting him leave like that… You’re so heartless, Keita-chan.” Kota-san chided me with a teasing glint in his eyes.
“What are you saying?!” I puffed up like an angry cat. “After the way he acted you think I would give him food? That would be like rewarding a dog for biting me. There’s no way I would do such an illogical thing.” I huffed in irritation.
“You say that but I wonder if you really disliked it that much. Didn’t you enjoy it, even a little bit?”
“I didn’t! Not even one bit!”
“I don’t think that’s true.” Kota-san shook his head slowly. “Otherwise, why would you feel this conflicted?”
After a short pause he continued, his tone neutral.
“You like him, don’t you? Kurosaki-kun, I mean. And not just as an editor or a friend, but more like a partner.”
His question buzzed in my ears seconds after the sound faded. Was what Kota-san said really true? Could it be possible that I really liked Kurosawa-san in that way? It’s true that I didn’t find the kiss disgusting and if I had to be very honest, I would say I didn’t quite dislike it. But from that to thinking about feelings, wasn’t it too big of a leap? But if I really did have feelings for him in a romantic way, when did they begin? And how come I never realized it before?
“Do I… really like him?” I questioned, staring blankly at the floor.
“You don’t need me to tell you that. The answer is inside your heart. Just sort out those tangled thoughts of yours first and you’ll be able to figure everything out.”
“En. I’ll think about it.” I replied almost mechanically.
“Good. Also, one more thing. I know all these years you’ve kept yourself away from human interactions for fear of being hurt, but don’t you think it’s time for a change? After all, giving up an entire basket of apples just because of a few spoiled ones… isn’t that too wasteful? Isn’t it better to just throw away the bad ones and keep the good ones for yourself? In the end, life isn’t made of happy moments only. Some bad things will surely happen from time to time. But it’s our choice whether we focus on the good or the bad. If you get too caught up in suffering from a past setback, you might lose the chance to take a step forward into a brighter future.”
Then, I felt a warm hand placed on top of my head and an even warmer voice resounded in my head.
You just have to believe in yourself, Keita. Everything will be alright. And if it won’t… well let’s just worry about that when and if it happens.
Honestly, Kota-san was really amazing, always knowing exactly what to say to make me feel less confused and conflicted.
“Thank you, Subaru-san.”
“Ooh, what is this? Have I gotten an upgrade?” Kota-san cried out, taking back his hand.
“I just thought it was time for a change.” I said with a smile.
Indeed, it was time for a change, one that was long overdue. But will I really be able to take that step forward towards this change? Will I be able to break free from this current me and move closer to a new, better version of myself?
2 chapters ! ^^ so lucky , thank you for your hard work !
Yep! And tomorrow another 2 ^_~ Wanted to give earlier Easter gifts <3
Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoy! <3
Bug reveal UwU the guy from the previous chapter better not make things difficult
Thank you for the chapter!!! ❤️❤️
Oh Asakura-san will definitely be important, though ^_~
❤️❤️❤️
Yeeees, i like our cp but Asakura-san is cute too 😇
I am very happy you like my baby boy Asakura as well ☺ I am actually quite attached to his character. For some reason, I saw him very clearly. <3
thanks for the chapter! <3
<333
He only realized it now? He’s really too dense… 😌
Thank you for the chapter 💜💜💜
Yeah he took his own sweet time XD
Thank you! 💜💜💜