Friday was a strange day from the morning. The weather was gloomy, and my body, restless from tossing and turning all night, felt sore. While brushing my teeth, the toothbrush slipped and I ended up swelling my lips on the inside. Twice on the subway, amidst the morning rush, I got painfully elbowed by someone. Nothing particularly bad happened, but small annoyances piled up quietly, one by one.
It was an unusually long week for me. I had been accompanying my supervisor on an out-of-office assignment, constantly tense in unfamiliar surroundings, barely catching a glimpse of Han Team Leader’s face all week. My accumulated fatigue must have been considerable; I found myself dozing off standing on the subway. Half-asleep, I trudged up the station stairs and walked to the office with half-closed eyes, wishing for the end of the workday amidst the crowded lobby.
Oddly enough, our department was in a frenzy of various meetings since morning. My supervisor, who had been struggling with a lingering cold for days, sighed deeply with a face that seemed on the verge of collapse. I couldn’t help but feel affected sitting next to her.
Adding insult to injury, just before lunchtime, Han Team Leader’s voice pierced through the department’s bustling noise like a blade.
“Supervisor Kim, Lee Seodan.”
My supervisor, who was half-dozing, abruptly sat up, locking eyes with me. I shook my head slightly, signaling I didn’t know. Rising from her seat, my supervisor’s expression was already resigned. We made our way towards Han Team Leader’s desk as if being pulled, tracing tear marks on our face with our fingers.
Behind the dual monitors, Han Team Leader didn’t even glance at us as we stood beside the desk. My supervisor coughed, covering her mouth. Staring at Han Team Leader’s cold and indifferent face, I felt a familiar tension knotting my stomach.
Han Team Leader, after double-clicking the mouse, turned one monitor towards us. Displayed on the spacious screen was the report I had submitted to my supervisor yesterday. As always, Han Team Leader’s name was listed in the “cc” field of the email.
“Supervisor Kim, have you reviewed this report?”
Han Team Leader inquired. My supervisor leaned forward, peering at the screen before shaking her head.
“Not yet.”
“Was the report prepared under Supervisor Kim’s instructions?”
Another question followed. My supervisor glanced briefly in my direction before answering.
“Yes. There’s still plenty of time before the deadline, and I thought it would be a good learning experience to revise it a few times…”
“Lee Seodan still doesn’t get it.”
It was a cutting remark. I clenched my hands until my nails dug into my palms. Han Team Leader tapped on the keyboard with his fingertips, flipping to another page.
“If you read through it, you’d see it’s a mess from here onwards, even if the beginning seems fine. It’s not something that can be fixed with just a revision.”
“…Yes.”
“While it’s understandable that Lee Seodan is eager to learn, please do it in moderation. It’s inefficient to assign tasks expecting them to be revised repeatedly. Study separately, and for tasks, even if they are simpler, assign only those that Lee Seodan can handle without making mistakes.”
“Yes, I apologize.”
“Han Team Leader.”
The indifferent gaze shifted towards me. I replied with a stiff “Yes”, trying to discern even the slightest warmth in his face.
“You should have known what you could handle before taking it on.”
“…Yes.”
“Then you should have honestly admitted you couldn’t handle it. When working, think from the perspective of the client who pays for the service. How fast Lee Seodan learns during the project is not the client’s concern.”
Although his tone remained professional, I could see my supervisor grimacing beside me. I swallowed hard, meeting his cold gaze.
“I’m sorry.”
Without a word of farewell, Han Team Leader turned the monitor away and sat back in his chair. My supervisor and I retreated from his desk with hesitant steps. As I returned to my seat, I felt as if the bottom had fallen out of my mood.
Dragging the chair slowly, I sat down. My supervisor, after running a hand through her hair, sighed deeply and left without a word. Watching her pass behind my chair, I leaned my head on one hand. For a while, I sat there, absentmindedly spinning the mouse with one hand and staring blankly at the document on the screen.
“Lee Seodan.”
A voice came from behind. Startled, I slumped in my posture. Turning around, I found Han Team Leader leaning against the partition, arms crossed, watching me.
I felt myself tensing up belatedly, as if caught in the act of slacking off. Without looking at my screen, he casually spoke.
“Here.”
A file appeared before me.
“I’ve left feedback. When you have time, revise it separately for study purposes and submit it to me. For the later parts, refer to the material I attached. Remember, it’s strictly prohibited to take materials out of the company.”
“Ah… Yes.”
I reached out belatedly to take the file, but he avoided my hand and directly plugged the file into the back of my desk where other documents were pinned. His firm arm, wrapped in a white shirt, blocked my view. There was a clattering sound.
“…Thank you.”
I said without looking up at him. For a moment, I thought he might say something more, but after a short silence, he turned neatly and left without a word. Simultaneously, my supervisor returned to her seat, brushing past Han Team Leader.
“Did he say anything else?”
She asked quietly, tilting her head belatedly.
“Just that he provided feedback on the report…”
“Well, that’s fortunate. Sorry, I got us into trouble by being greedy. Actually… I knew it was a bit too much, but I hoped Lee Seodan would quickly improve and take some of my workload off.”
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
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“….”
I wasn’t mistaken. A yellow candy stick, unseen until now, was quietly inserted into the pencil holder on the shelf. Reflexively, I turned around and quickly reached out with my arm. A round-headed, two-hundred-won candy rolled around in my palm.
With the candy tightly gripped in my hand, I jumped up. Han Team Leader was not visible behind the desk partition. Looking around, I quickly slid the candy under the file holder on my desk. The document tray tilted unnaturally.
My heart was pounding as I returned to my seat. My supervisor looked up at me, smiling without any particular meaning. My heart was pounding so much that I couldn’t even form a proper response.
By the time lunchtime was almost over, Han Team Leader returned to the department. He passed behind me, continuing his conversation with Deputy Yu. I fixed my gaze on the screen, not looking at him.
Deputy Yu sat down, and the conversation ceased. There was no sound of footsteps. It seemed like Han Team Leader had also arrived at his desk.
I tapped the keyboard for no reason. Underneath the meaningless string of characters was a red underline. Eventually, I pressed backspace for a long time and focused on the feedback on the first page of the report he had provided. Team members from our and adjacent departments returned one by one to their seats, and instead of voices, the sounds of keyboards and mouses began to fill the air.
At that moment, the phone left on the desk blinked silently. It was a text message. I was already smiling before picking it up.
[I give you candy, and you give me cigarettes in return.]
His dry tone seemed to ring clearly in my ears. I bit my lip to suppress a hollow laugh, pressing the screen firmly.
[But Team Leader doesn’t like candy.]
Before I even put down my phone, a reply came.
[Do you not plan to tell me to quit smoking?]
I almost turned towards his desk at the unexpected question. Somehow, bright light was pouring in from the clear sky where the clouds had cleared. I turned my gaze as if looking out the window, but his face was hidden by the partition and two monitors.
After hesitating for a moment, I typed each key one by one.
[If I tell you to quit, will you really quit?]
After sending it, the weight of the question made me afraid. With my lips still bitten, I quickly continued typing.
[You look sexy when you smoke, Team Leader.]
It was a desperate attempt to lighten the mood, but the words on the screen seemed more vivid than I had thought. I resisted the urge to go over to his desk and explain loudly, and instead put down my phone. This time, there was quite a gap before his reply came. I grabbed the mouse and started working, but I couldn’t help but keep glancing away from the screen towards my phone. For a few minutes, my heart raced irregularly. When the screen finally blinked, picking it up felt terrifying.
[Oh, really? Am I sexy?]
The words were sitting awkwardly on the screen. My ears perked up at the mocking tone. The messages kept coming without pause.
[I didn’t know Lee Seodan thought that way.]
[Doesn’t it mean it’s okay to be sexy even if it’s bad for your health?]
[Sometimes it feels like Lee Seodan is more interested in my body than I am.]
There seemed to be laughter hidden in the neat font. I couldn’t think of anything to say, so I just put down my phone. More messages came to the still-lit screen.
[I have to live long for both of us to benefit for long.]
Each letter felt suffocating. My heart raced and my stomach churned as if my whole body was exchanging messages, not just my fingers. It felt even worse knowing that he was just a glance away in the same space.
I knew I would end up working on the same document all day. I took a deep breath and pulled out my phone.
[Aren’t you working, Team Leader?]
[I’ll focus on work now.]
Without even checking the reply, I closed my phone. I scrolled up and started working on the document. One sentence, two. After barely managing to put down one paragraph, I reached for my phone again like an addicted person.
I sent a text message coolly, as if pushing him away, but I felt like I would get depressed if I didn’t get a reply soon. Nervously pressing the button, I brought up the screen and glanced through it absentmindedly. Then, new words caught my eye.
[Okay, work hard. Let’s finish it by the end of today and have fun on the weekend.]
[I haven’t seen Lee Seodan properly all week because of fieldwork.]
And a few minutes later, a square message popped up again.
[Make time tomorrow. Let’s go on a date.]
I couldn’t stop the corners of my mouth from lifting. If my supervisor saw, it would be another mocking smile.
***
Looking back now, I should have found it strange when he said over the phone that sneakers and comfortable clothes would be good. But I followed his instructions obediently, and Han Team Leader showed up in front of my house in the early hours, dressed similarly to me. He took me and drove for over two hours. Even after leaving the highway, we drove for a long time, onto country roads and unpaved paths.
Finally, the place we arrived at was undoubtedly a mountain. Next to the secluded parking lot where he parked the car, there was a sign indicating a hiking trail. I accepted the cap he handed me, at a loss for words.
“We won’t climb too high.”
He said with a smile when he noticed my gaze.
“We’ll walk for a little over two hours, until before lunchtime… So, Lee Seodan’s stamina should be enough to handle it.”
As he spoke, he pulled out a large water bottle from the bag he had brought from the back seat. As I followed him out of the car, I thought of something to say.
“Is this a company workshop?”
“…Have you ever gone hiking for a workshop in your previous department?”
“No, it wasn’t hiking…”
Was this what it meant to date a superior? Since I was young, I had disliked exercising and walking, and I had never voluntarily climbed a mountain. I hadn’t even tried the nearby hill, so it was hard to see the value of driving for two hours to reach a mountain.
“The air is nice, isn’t it?”
Even though he must have noticed my reluctant steps, he asked with a smile. As I stood still and took a breath, the air rushed into my lungs in one go. Under the shade of the mountain, the air felt cool and clear for late spring.
“It’s not good to confine yourself to the city.”
He said honestly as he waited for me at the entrance of the uphill path.
“Even if you don’t feel like it, you need to create opportunities to break away. Especially for people in consulting, you need to be wary of narrowing your scope of action. You need to see landscapes you haven’t seen when you have time, and try activities you haven’t done. That’s how flexible ideas come when needed.”
Whether it was advice as a superior or consideration as a lover, I couldn’t tell. I obediently closed my mouth, having spent weekends at home, either catching up on sleep or eating.
“And,” he continued casually.
“Although it’s a secondary issue, it’s possible on deserted hiking trails.”
There was a step. He held my arm as if to pull me up, and didn’t let go as we slid down. His fingertips brushed lightly against the inside of my palm as he held it. Slowly, his fingers slipped between mine.
Suddenly, words failed me. The pounding of my heart occupied even my ears. Somewhere, a mountain bird chirped. His firmly held hand felt like it wouldn’t let go even if I tried to pull away.
The slope wasn’t steep except for one section in the middle. It was a mountain at the level of a hill that people who came for real hiking wouldn’t visit. Still, the golden path lined with bamboo on both sides was more charming than I had expected, and the steep landscape spreading between the trees at the summit was worth seeing. Simple flowers clustered along the mountain ridge.
When we reached the round shelter at the summit, he finally let go of my hand and put his bag down on the wooden bench. In addition to the water bottle, various things came out from inside the zipper. Plastic containers filled with things like cherry tomatoes, strawberries, and nuts were lined up on the bench.
“Don’t eat too much since we’ll have lunch later.”
Handing me the water bottle, he said.
“The way down might be harder. It’s better to replenish your energy.”
“If you had told me in advance, I would have prepared something too…”
The cut strawberries looked red and tempting. Feeling a faint guilt at eating the food he had brought while riding in the car he was driving and climbing the mountain he had chosen, I picked one up.
“I didn’t prepare anything separately. I just bought and washed them.”
“I’ll buy lunch if it’s okay with you.”
Our eyes met. His eyes softened slightly.
“Sure. There are quite a few good rural restaurants around here. We can decide on the menu on the way down.”
The hand that had held mine for almost an hour felt empty. The part of my finger where it had split felt strange, as if something was left behind. I picked up an almond with the tip of the skewer and ate it. In the distance, the landscape of blue sky and mountain ridges below it unfolded.
“I wish I knew places like this too.”
I said as I chewed. The landscape between the blue sky and the mountain ridges below it was quiet except for the sound of the wind. Suddenly, except for him next to me, it felt like there was no one else in the world.
“I wish I knew more good restaurants too. And that I could introduce someone or take them there… I wish I had traveled more like you said. I haven’t tried hard enough until now. Even after I started working, it wasn’t like I didn’t have time on weekends…”
It didn’t require much effort. Even if it was for two hours, it wouldn’t have been difficult to take the subway out of the city on weekends. At the very least, even if I took a bus for one or two more stops and ate at a restaurant I hadn’t been to before, or even if I ate lunch alone and visited restaurants near the company, the world would have seemed a little wider than it is now.
“There’s no need to be impatient.”
He replied calmly, silently listening to me.
“Lee Seodan has only been out in society for about a year and a half now, and it’s natural for his scope of action to narrow when he’s tied to the company. I’ve lived seven years longer than Lee Seodan, and I’m naturally good at going out and about. And thanks to that, Lee Seodan can take only the essence from the trials and errors I’ve experienced. It’s actually saving time, if you think about it.”
It was a blunt statement. I chuckled unconsciously, and he handed me half a walnut, adding,
“To find one good restaurant, you have to eat bad food about nine times. The same goes for finding a good atmosphere in a bar. It may seem trivial, but it requires enthusiasm and effort, so you need to have some time to spare to make it easier. Until then, you can visit the places I know and see if they suit Lee Seodan’s taste.”
“Okay.”
“If you want to eat something or go somewhere, just let me know. Anything is fine. If it’s a place I don’t know, we can research it together. Since we have plenty of time in the future, there’s no need to rush.”
His words, without any particular emphasis, calmed my heart like someone supporting me from below. I took a deep breath. I glanced at Han Team Leader, who was closing the lid of an empty container, and impulsively leaned forward.
A gust of wind brushed his face, causing my lips to clumsily brush against the corner of his mouth. A soft sound escaped. His narrowed gaze looked closer from up close. Then his hand wrapped around my neck, pulling me forward firmly.
Our bodies pressed against each other on top of the backpack. He held my face in place and firmly pressed his lips against mine. As if on cue, his tongue persistently licked my lower lip. Without resistance, his warm tongue delved into my open mouth. The heat surged through my cheeks as his tongue explored.
“Mmm, ah.”
Though the momentum was rough, the movements of his tongue inside my mouth were gentle. Rather than deeply penetrating, it gently brushed against the roof of my mouth and the underside of my tongue, changing angles. It flicked against the tip of my nose. When I opened my eyes momentarily, his eyes, meeting mine, were smiling.
My lips parted and met his again at the timing of their separation. Clumsily, I even tried to put the tip of my tongue into his mouth. It collided with his firm teeth. Han Team Leader paused for a moment, then released his hand from my neck and firmly grabbed my waist. My body leaned forward, and the remaining tomato in the container fell to the ground. He didn’t care and pulled me up onto his lap. I wrapped my legs around his waist, fearing I might fall. My body clung to him fervently like a koala.
“Ugh, ugh, mm.”
“Coming here was a good idea.”
He said between rough breaths. His momentarily detached lips lightly landed on my closed eyelids.
“It would have been too much on the street.”
“Ugh, me too, coming here.”
My breath was short, causing my speech to stutter. He kissed my earlobe inside my round ear. A warmth burst from inside my body as if his touch ignited it. I hastily pushed his shoulder.
“If we go any further, I might…”
“Do you think so?”
He asked softly, brushing his lips against mine. His hand slowly caressed down my back. Goosebumps ran along my spine.
“Ah, really, I…”
“Okay. Just a little more.”
Our lips pressed roughly together. Opening my mouth wide, his invading tongue felt hot as if it were melting. The sounds of moaning kept escaping from my throat. Even if I tried to endure it, I couldn’t close my mouth. Just when it seemed like something big might happen, our wet lips parted. His breathing was as rough as mine. I raised my arms and hugged his neck, panting heavily against his warm neck.
He slowly stroked my back as he held me. His large, firm hands enveloped my neck and head. Exhaling heavily, he chuckled against my ear.
“If only I were ten years younger, I’d be doing this here.”
“Ugh.”
“Are you okay? Should I wipe it off with my hand?”
Shaking my head vigorously with my cheeks smeared, he laughed and lightly kissed my neck. His big hand ruffled my hair affectionately.
“Then let’s start going down slowly. We need to catch the lunchtime rush to eat something delicious.”
“Okay.”
I slowly detached myself from him and put the remaining container under the bench into my bag. There was another container rolling under the bench. The tomatoes covered in dirt didn’t seem edible.
As he said, going downhill was more difficult. The gentle slope felt steep on the descent. If it weren’t for the hand I was holding onto, I would have rolled forward and fallen every time I got caught on a tree root. After supporting me several times when I almost fell, he finally said with an incredulous expression,
“With this level of exercise sensitivity, proper hiking might be challenging.”
“I can hold onto falling plates just fine, though…”
As I spoke, I stumbled again. He grabbed my waist with his arms. By now, it felt natural for my body to be held by him, preventing me from falling. As if thinking the same thing, he said with a subtle smile,
“It seems like Lee Seodan shouldn’t hike a mountain without me in the future.”
“…I’m sorry.”
I noticed him supporting me downhill, even bearing my weight belatedly. He waited until I was steady before saying, “It’s okay.” His hand still held mine, fingers interlocked. This time, it was the opposite hand.
As we descended to the parking lot, the midday sun was scorching the gravel ground. After concentrating on not falling, I realized my legs were sore and my stomach was growling once we reached the flat ground.
Taking out the keys to unlock the car door, Han Team Leader said,
“I’m thinking of having a smoke. Would you mind if I do it first?”
“…No. It’s okay if you smoke…”
“That’s not it.”
He took out his cigarette pack and lighter, speaking calmly.
“Since I’ve been noticing Lee Seodan’s condition seems precarious, if you see me being sexy while smoking, you might not be able to resist.”
“Team Leader…”
I started to say something but gave up. He looked at my face, not hiding anything, and smiled with closed eyes.
While he smoked a few steps away, I opened the backseat door and put the bag inside. Sitting down with the door still open, I brushed off the dirt from my shoes. Even though I stubbornly averted his gaze, whenever I regained my senses, my eyes would be drawn to him. I found myself repeatedly glancing at the slow angle of the fingers holding the cigarette or the smoke rising between his lips.
He noticed my gaze and raised his eyebrows subtly. Then, with a playful smile, he exhaled smoke slowly, twisting the end of the cigarette lodged between his lips, teasingly.
