Author: aji (あじ)
Translator: sleepingjay
After getting into the carriage Jill had prepared for me, I closed my eyes.
A lot of things sure happened today… It was only a little past noon, but I was tired.
Still, it wasn’t a bad thing. Carefully, I touched my pocket, feeling the thing I had tucked away in there.
“……”
I pulled it out of the small cloth bag. The gemstone shone, a bright red like a ruby.
This was another Spirit Drop. It was the last card I had to treat Brad.
I clutched it and prayed.
Please. Please, let this be the cure. Please, save Brad from suffering……
As I prayed, I remembered the past.
When Brad saved me, I was a truly awful and ugly creature.
“—I won’t eat this shit!”
I flung the tray bearing the meal at the men.
Even getting up on the bed took all my effort. I, who was like that, hated everything and loathed everything—the man who was silent, the people of the village who looked at me with eyes full of pity.
As I clutched the sheets tightly and glared at them all, a particularly conspicuous, particularly hateful man came over to me.
In his hand was the bun I had just thrown.
“Get away from me, you beast!”
“……”
While flinging insults and curses, I threw anything I could grab at him.
Strangers were…… terrifying. I was terrified of being approached by people other than myself.
But I didn’t know what they would do to me, if they knew of my fear. I wanted to escape from this place, but my drugged body wouldn’t listen to me.
I couldn’t even stand up, so of course the man easily approached me. He grabbed the back of my head.
“—n, no, no, no! Let go!”
“Shut up, small fry. What ‘I won’t eat’? You gotta eat. It’s not like you got any other choice, so eat up already, small fry.”
“H–hey, Brad! What are you doing?!”
The man ‘s speech was so rough it made me wonder if he was a scoundrel. He forced my mouth open and shoved the bread in.
My stomach rejected the food and nausea set in.
Tears welled up and spilled over as bitterness and fear rose.
Still, the man pushed the bread in.
The surrounding people told him to stop, but he didn’t listen. This torturous act continued until my consciousness cut off.
A rough and arrogant bastard who didn’t listen to others.
Thinking about it now—
My first meeting with Brad was the worst.
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
“—ut, ww, … jt!”
“Vb cblrs. Po sbe vbc’a ilxf la, atfc sbe ubaaj fja la sbegrfio.”
“Xujt, jmx, ut,”
Dgjv ofv wf vjs lc jcv vjs bea, lc j kliv jcv ecgeis wjccfg.
Po P aglfv ab frmjqf, P kjr gfragjlcfv. Po P aglfv ab ylaf tlw, P uba j atewq bc atf tfjv.
I immediately hated Brad. I hated the people in the village, but I hated this man the most.
“I don’t want to eat ……! Let go of me, let me die! I don’t want to eat anymore!”
For years, my body had been abused by drugs and used for amusement. It was a thin, ragged thing, like a withered branch.
Living was difficult. The side effects caused me to be tormented by visual and auditory hallucinations. Every day I screamed and tried to escape, gone half-crazed. Living was much more difficult than dying.
Even though I wanted to sleep, I couldn’t sleep. If I closed my eyes, the coarse, vulgar laughter of those men rang in my ears.
Those hateful, detestable faces surrounded me. The memory of being chained up and treated like livestock. The despair of being chased and tormented after they deliberately let me go—
I relived various traumatic memories, and someone would stroke me constantly. The touch on my skin felt horrible.
I didn’t want to be saved. If I had stayed like that, my soul would have broken, until only my body remained to decay with time.
But I was rescued. Set free by Brad’s hands.
Even though I had no longer been hoping for salvation.
“Go if you want to die. But, you gotta leave this village and die somewhere that’s got nothing to do with us.”
“……”
“If you understand, then eat. Nobody’s gonna stop you once you can walk on your own two feet.”
Brad had a very, very troublesome personality.
By the time I learned that this was Brad’s way of showing compassion, I had lived in the village for a year.
“Looks like you’re getting your strength back. In a little while, you should be able to practice walking.”
“……”
Hank was the one who was examining me at the time.
I turned my eyes away from the stain on the ceiling that I had been gazing at for the past year and looked at him.
It was at this point that I learned that although he had a stubborn look on his face, his green eyes were very soft and gentle.
“This is the first time you’ve looked at me. Can’t wait to walk?”
“…….Not really.”
“I see.”
Once I could walk, I could leave the village and die.
That was all I could think about. I would only suffer if I rebelled, so it was better to do what they wanted.
Being able to walk would be good.
I kept thinking that and waited patiently for the time to pass.
Brad came over that night and spoke to me in a strange manner.
“I heard you finally got permission to walk.”
“……”
Don’t talk to me, you son of a bitch.
I spat out the words in my heart, but Brad still thumped me over the head.
How the hell did he know when I didn’t say it out loud?
Brad snorted when I glared at him in frustration.
“When you learn to walk, are you gonna go die first thing?”
“……Aa.”
“I see. Well, do what you want. It’s your life, others don’t have any right to butt in.”
After only saying that, Brad got up.
“See you later, you little shitty fry.”
“…….!”
It was a word that I should have been used to hearing. But at that moment, it struck my bottom line.
I felt it.
The one single person who hadn’t pitied me, pitied me.
“Don’t… don’t pity me…!”
“……”
“I don’t need it… Not any of you people’s sympathy!”
I pushed up my upper body and yelled angrily at Brad.
The blue eyes that turned back to look at me were cold.
“It is pitiful.”
“Stop it!”
“You are pitiful. You are a pitiful, cowardly, small fry.”
“I said stop!”
I didn’t want to hear it. I didn’t want to be told that.
Don’t look at me with those eyes….
I wanted to hit him. I wouldn’t be able to die peacefully unless I could punch this man at least once before I die.
Always, always saying whatever he wanted, and yet keeping an indifferent distance as if he knew everything. I hated that personality of his.
I wanted to tell him off and say, “What do you even know about me?”
When he looked at me with those eyes, like he knew me, I hated him from the bottom of my heart.
“Don’t get me wrong. I don’t pity you for your life. I pity you for your choice after you’ve gotten out of that world.”
“It’s the same whether it’s now, or ten years later!”
“It’s not the same, idiot. You’re going to die in a world where you only have memories of those who hurt you. Your life is going to end like this, nothing but a wounded little fry. Even until your last breath, you’re under their torture. If that’s not pitiful, what is?”
“—!”
My mind went blank.
A wordless rage boiled up inside my body, becoming a fiery, uncontrollable rampage.
Driven by the urge to scream, I tumbled out of bed and crawled over to Brad.
“What’s wrong with that?! Even if I continue living, the past won’t change! If I continue living, it’ll always be there!”
“That’s why I said do what you want. I have my own choice. You also just made your own choice.”
“—you! This know-it-all attitude of yours always pisses me off!”
“……”
“You don’t even know anything! Don’t act like you know what you’re talking about!”
“—I know.”
“…..Huh?”
My eyes widened at the unexpected words.
Brad looked down at my agitated self, and spoke as if it was no big deal.
“Are you deaf too? I said I know. I’ve been a kept ‘pet’ for a long time too.”
“You–you’re lying……”
“It’s not a lie. If you don’t trust me, ask around. There are other people besides me who’ve been abducted. Some of them chose to die, just like you. So if you’re going to die, do it outside the village. Don’t pull up old wounds for the people living in this village.”
“……”
I couldn’t find any words.
What did he mean? What was he talking about?
My mind wouldn’t accept Brad’s words. My body shuddered and my hand slipped from where I was gripping Brad’s clothes.
I crouched on the floor, stunned.
“All the time I was captive, I kept thinking, ‘Once I kill them all, I’m going to travel’. ‘I’m going to see everything around the world’. No matter what they did to me, no matter how they trampled on my dignity—I’m still me.”
After saying that, Brad went silent.
Then he picked me up from where I had collapsed on the floor, and put me on the bed.
No anger, no sadness, nothing. I felt empty.
Even though he wasn’t the person I actually wanted to lash out at, how cruel had I been?
What did he feel when he was looking at me?
“Don’t think about it. Sleep now.”
“……”
“—Whatever the end result, you did your best.”
Large hands covered my eyes.
Brad’s hands were hot.
Even though it was somebody else’s heat, I didn’t feel uncomfortable, and that felt like a miracle.
Wow… this was intense… I hope the Brad guy will be okay.
Thank you for the chapter!!!
Yep, time for pain
I am glad I finally can understand Lily’s feelings towards Brad and who was he for him
I was afraid Brad was a gentle and caring older brother and be yet another victim of the second male lead curse (is it called the second male lead syndrome?).
I didn’t want a rival whom Lily only see as a big brother appear. I like him like the author did. I am glad
Thank you for the chapter