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Guide on How to Fail at Online DatingCh85 - We’re also two people.


Edited by Divetus

The next day, Xiang Huaizhi was noisily woken up by Lu Hang. z4MiTE

“I can’t make the decision on my own… He’s sleeping. I suggest that you directly hire assassins ba, we can’t help you…”

Xiang Huaizhi stared at the gray ceiling, his whole being was still immersed in his dream of a few minutes ago.

Story translated by Chrysanthemum Garden.

Jing Huan had stood in front of him with his eyes closed and his eyelashes slightly trembling from nervousness, his lips twitching while waiting for Xiang Huaizhi to do something.

Xiang Huaizhi closed his eyes again. After a while, he sat up from the bed. EFHyi8

He didn’t rush to get out of bed, but instead, raised his hand and ran it through his hair before picking up his cellphone and unlocking it.

Xiao Jing ya: Thank you Ge… My fever has already gone down.

Xiao Jing ya: [Kowtow]

The message was sent a few minutes ago. kRHEM7

Xiang: Just woke up?

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Xiao Jing ya: No, I woke up a long time ago, I’m at the basketball court now.

Xiang Huaizhi glanced at the time, then he put his cellphone aside and got out of bed.

Lu Hang had just heard him move when he immediately took off his headphones. “Xiangxiang, you’re finally fucking awake, I’ve almost been annoyed to death…” dpxlf0

Xiang Huaizhi put on his shoes and gently dropped his cellphone onto the table, ignoring him.

“Do you know who came to find me?” Lu Hang was unaffected and answered himself, “Immortal Mengmeng!”

Lu Hang turned his head and said, “She asked us to help her kill someone. The price was quite high, several times higher than the most expensive assassination group in our server. But, why didn’t she just go straight to you ah? She had to come ask me to deliver her message to you.”

Xaing Huaizhi answered, “Blacklisted her.” 8oCV4F

Lu hang nodded, unsurprised. “Then, shall we take it? 5000 yuan a head, and the kill target is still a noob… It’s like picking money off the ground.”

The price was so high that even Lu Hang was excited.

However, he knew that Immortal Mengmeng didn’t only seek them out just to kill someone. Since Xiang Huaizhi’s megaphone to clarify matters, Immortal Mengmeng’s reputation had been very poor. If their team helped her kill someone now, in other people’s eyes, it would be like breaking the ice.

Xiang Huaizhi walked to the bathroom with a towel and tossed out a sentence behind him. “I don’t want to get divorced yet.” zvYqOc

Winter had officially started. After the rain yesterday, the temperature had plummeted again. At noon, the basketball court had turned into a bustling place.

Jing Huan jumped up and threw a beautiful two-point shot before turning to go off-court to take a break.

“Shit, how long have you been playing? Aren’t you tired yet ah?” Lu Wenhao sat in his seat and gasped, “What, were you actually not ill last night, but were facing a heavenly tribulation?”

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With that, Lu Wenhao handed him the water bottle. kzxRai

Jing Huan took a look at the water bottle, and with a mysterious expression, said, “Forget it, I won’t drink it.”

Lu Wenhao was stunned. “What? Are you abandoning me?”

Just looking at him made Jing Huan’s mind become full of handstands… That’s what.

Tch. liWUue

Why were people’s vows so fierce nowadays ah.

Jing Huan licked his lips, moved his eyes to Lu Wenhao’s legs and he began to ask, “Didn’t you hurt your leg? Can you still play?”

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“Flesh wound, I just wanted to get a leave of absence yesterday.” Lu Wenhao said, “How about it, are you leaving?”

“I’ll play some more.” Jing Huan said. 9Rhjk4

After taking the medicine yesterday, he had slept for more than ten hours. Now, he just felt full of energy and had no place to put it.

Xiang Huaizhi and Lu Hang went out for lunch together. When they came out of the restaurant, Lu Hang rubbed his stomach and turned around to see the person next to him looking down at his cellphone.

“Recently, you’re always gripping your cellphone close to you everywhere you go,” joked Lu Hang. “Married men really are different… Let’s go get a coffee and then head back to the dorm.”

Xiang Huaizhi didn’t even lift his head. “You go back first.” 4zduSN

Lu Hang asked, “Where are you going?”

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“Have things to take care of.”

It was close to class time, and a group of people came out of the dormitory building.

Xiang Huaizhi put his hands in his pockets, his right hand gently cradling his cellphone in his pocket. When he passed the school supermarket, he thought for a bit and then walked in. 9P53ye

Jing Huan was slightly stooped and held the ball in his hands. He considered whether to break through or to try and throw a three-pointer where he was.

Because it wasn’t a real competition, the players were very relaxed. The boy guarding him stood very straight, looking like he was watching a play rather than playing basketball..

The boy laughed and asked, “Jing Huan, you’ve played so long today?”

Jing Huan gasped and said, “I’ll play a bit more and then go.” c49wLl

“Oh, what’s going on between you and that third-year senior ah?”

Jing Huan’s hands froze, and he turned to look at the boy.

The boy’s tone was casual, and he joked, “In class this morning, the girl sitting behind me was constantly talking about you two. I listened to her for the entire class.”

“Friends ah, what else could we be?” Jing Huan replied with a guilty conscience and pointedly not digging into it. CPQHtg

With that, he broke out from the left and jumped up to shoot.

We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.

The basketball rattled around the hoop several times, but didn’t go in.

Lf milmxfv tlr abcuef jcv kfca yjmx ab vfofcv. Ktja yglfo lcafgievf pera cbk tjv vlragjmafv tlw, jcv ublcu yjmx ab vfofcv ofia ilxf ajxlcu j ragbii.

Story translated by Chrysanthemum Garden.

Vkfjalcu lc atf kfjatfg abvjs kjr ecqifjrjca. Qtfcfnfg atf klcv yifk, la mtliifv tlr ojmf. Alcu Lejc qegrfv tlr ilqr jcv xlcv bo gfugfaafv cba qeaalcu jrlvf tlr wlrulnlcur ab vglcx Oe Qfctjb’r kjafg. 8FX6bt

He grabbed the corner of his clothes, just wanting to wipe off the sweat on his forehead, when he saw the person standing outside the basketball court fence.

Jing Huan: “…”

His heart jumped from this curious coincidence and he pulled his clothes down.

Before he could greet Xiang Huaizhi, his teammates stole the basketball and threw it into his hands. Jing Huan suddenly snapped out of it, almost getting hit in the face by the ball. m3n2Xb

He turned around and made a shot.. There was no one under the basket, but he still couldn’t get the ball in.

“Jing Huan, even this ball didn’t go in?” his teammate laughed and asked him.

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“Mistake,” Jing Huan pushed his hair back. “I won’t play anymore.”

With that, he ignored his teammates and hurried off the court. 694HGR

When he looked back, the place where Xiang Huaizhi had stood was now empty.

Jing Huan stared at that place for a long time and doubtfully frowned.

Had his eyes been playing tricks on him?

“Huanhuan, what are you looking at?” Lu Wenhao called out to him. u3EfTN

Jing Huan looked away. “No, maybe I didn’t see right… Do you have any paper towels there?”

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Lu Wenhao raised his head and looked at him strangely. “Paper towels? What do you need them for?”

“To wipe away sweat.”

Lu Wenhao laughed, “Do you not have clothes or something, since when were you that particular?” NKWxoE

Jing Huan thought that he must’ve had a brain fart to have asked Lu Wenhao.

Not far away, several girls chatted in a low voice.

“Jing Huan finished playing, go quickly ah.”

“I dare not…” iyOB1x

“There’s nothing to be afraid of, you’re just giving him water!”

“Before, there was another girl who tried to give him water, but he wouldn’t take it.”

“That girl must’ve not been pretty. You can do it. Go quickly, if you keep dawdling, he’ll leave soon…”

The girl had just finished talking when she felt like a gust of wind had blown past her. She instinctively looked up and saw the back of a person with wide shoulders and long legs. ZFrtnX

She was stunned for a few seconds, immediately recognizing the person, and said in surprise, “Why is Xiang Huaizhi at this basketball court…?”

Before she had finished speaking, she closed her mouth.

Only to see Xiang Huaizhi walk over to Jing Huan’s side and hand him a bottle of mineral water.

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The two girls were dumbfounded. FEB0pU

Lu Wenhao was dumbfounded.

Jing Huan was also dumbfounded.

After a while, Xiang Huaizhi raised his eyebrows and asked, “Don’t want it?”

Want it, of course he wanted it. CJNfZ6

Even if Xiang Huaizhi handed him a bottle of poison right now, he would take it.

“Thank you.” Jing Huan unscrewed the bottle cap and drank half the bottle in one go. Because he was in a hurry, water spilled from the corner of his mouth and slipped all the way down to his Adam’s apple.

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Xiang Huaizhi’s eyes became half-lidded, and he again thought of yesterday’s dream.

Lu Wenhao asked, “Xiang Ge, why are you here?” Sq0d3T

“Looking for him.” Xiang Huaizhi answered.

Jing Huan’s heart thumped.

Oh no.

It couldn’t have been that, when Xiang Huaizhi went back last night, he thought about it more and then realized his loss, and thus backed out of his promise, ba? xgaizy

His mind was still on yesterday’s awkward scene. After drinking half of the bottle of water, he stopped, raised his hand and wiped the corners of his mouth. “What’s the matter ah…? Ge.”

Story translated by Chrysanthemum Garden.

Xiang Huaizhi frowned and asked, “Do you have class in the afternoon?”

Jing Huan’s heart was a bit flustered, and he subconsciously wanted to tell another lie.

His simple roommate pulled him back from the wrong path. cl2o U

“No ah, we don’t have any class at all today.” Lu Wenhao said.

Jing Huan swallowed the word “have” and nodded. “No class…”

Xiang Huaizhi put his hand back into his pocket to take something out.

Jing Huan stared at his pocket without blinking. 396zOK

That pocket size, unlikely to be able to fit a rod or a big knife. At most…. at most it’s probably something like a pocket knife…

Fuck, a pocket knife was also very scary ah!

In just two seconds, the barrage of thoughts in Jing Huan’s brain nearly blanketed his entire world.

Xiang Huaizhi took out his cellphone. nAb6iR

He lowered his head, held it in his hand, and pressed it several times, before proferring it up for Jing Huan to see.

Jing Huan looked down and saw a whole list of movie times.

“Then, go and see a movie?” Xiang Huaizhi asked.

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Jing Huan: “…” 4CKJhP

Lu Wenhao was sitting at the side, and he glanced at Jing Huan, then glanced at Xiang Huaizhi. His little eyes were full of big doubts.

Lu Wenhao leaned over to have a look. “There haven’t been any good movies recently.”

“None that you like?” Xiang Huaizhi asked.

Lu Wenhao stuttered, “Ah, I……” MjXcD2

Jing Huan glanced at the movie posters and didn’t even look at the names carefully before tentatively saying, “The second one is okay ba, do you want to see that one?”

Xiang Huaizhi let out an “en” sound, “Then, I’ll book the tickets.”

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Lu Wenhao exclaimed, “The second one? Isn’t that a romance movie?”

Xiang Huaizhi opened the seat selection menu. “Sit in the front or the back?” rZdIhK

“Back,” said Jing Huan, “Get a neck ache from watching in front.”

Lu Wenhao: “…”

Xiang Huaizhi asked, “Then 3:30 pm, see you at the theater?”

“… Okay,” Jing Huan answered. D1HRoB

Some time after Xiang Huaizhi walked away, Lu Wenhao was still sitting there in a daze.

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Jing Huan finished resting and picked up his coat. “I’m leaving.”

“Wait a minute,” Lu Wenhao grabbed his coat and asked, “Don’t you dislike going to the theater?”

There was a movie theater near their school, but Jing Huan had found that dinky theater’s seats too small, and had never gone there a second time. OPc58K

“It’s crowded when sitting with you, but it’s not crowded when sitting with Xiang Huaizhi.”

Lu Wenhao was stupefied for a moment, and immediately chased after him and hooked him by his neck. “Fuck, watch out for my fist!”


When Xiang Huaizhi arrived at the cinema, Jing Huan had already picked up the tickets and was waiting at the door. Fwfzpr

The boy was wearing a black overcoat and the scarf he had given him.

“Wait long?” As he drew near, he could smell the fragrance of Jing Huan’s body wash.

Jing Huan looked up from the movie theater flyer and replied, “No, I just arrived.”

Jing Huan closed the flyer, looked left and right, took a step forward, and whispered, “But why do I feel like… We don’t quite fit in ah.” zowmOL

Xiang Huaizhi looked around. Today wasn’t the weekend, but there were still a lot of people in the cinema. There were only couples for all the eye could see, with not one single person anywhere.

“How don’t we fit in?” Xiang Huaizhi looked away. “We’re also two people.”

How does that count as the same?

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Jing Huan glanced at the time. “I’m going to buy snacks. What do you like to eat?” xzD2Ge

“I’ll buy it,” Xiang Huaizhi said.

“No,” said Jing Huan, “You bought the movie tickets, I’ll buy the food.”

Xiang Huaizhi paused, “Then, you can buy whatever you want.”

As soon as Jing Huan came to the counter, the staff member smiled and asked, “Hello, what can I do for you?” MWprxZ

Jing Huan said, “Let me see your set meals.”

The staff member immediately pointed to the billboard nearby. “Today our theater has Valentine’s Day specials! We just came out with a new couple set meal: two cups of coke with popcorn and a rose for just 35 yuan.”

Story translated by Chrysanthemum Garden.

Jing Huan was confused. “Valentine’s Day special?”

Wasn’t it December? It couldn’t even count as the Qixi festival, where did Valentine’s Day come from? ldx0bm

“The 14th of every month counts as Valentine’s Day, so today is Valentine’s day, and we have special offers,” the staff member explained

Jing Huan: “…” So gaudy.

He couldn’t help looking at the billboard again, before quickly looking away.

This was a couple set meal, what were he and Xiang Huaizhi trying to butt in for? el41KS

“Then, how much is the regular double set meal?” He asked.

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58,” said the staff member.


There was too much of a damn difference there. bw3QvO

Are you guys usually so greedy when selling things ba???

Xiang Huaizhi was sitting in the waiting area. He was looking at the flyer that Jing Huan had handed to him when his cellphone suddenly vibrated.

Little Road Little Road Certainly Wouldn’t Get Lost: Xiangxiang, today is our class monitor’s birthday, and he’s inviting us all out to have barbecue in the evening.

Xiang: Busy. GUXzl

Little Road Little Road Certainly Wouldn’t Get Lost: You’re not even coming to our class monitor’s birthday? What did you leave to do?

Xiang: A date.

Little Road Little Road Certainly Wouldn’t Get Lost: ?

Little Road Little Road Certainly Wouldn’t Get Lost: ????? 549EhU

Little Road Little Road Certainly Wouldn’t Get Lost: Fuck, you’re cheating? Are you really cheating??? No way… Who are you on a date with? Someone from our school? Which year? An older girl or a younger one ah? Do I know them?

Xiang: Help me say happy birthday to our class monitor for me.

Story translated by Chrysanthemum Garden.

Little Road Little Road Certainly Wouldn’t Get Lost: You answer me! Who are you on a date with AHHHH!!! Wng8D3

His cellphone was vibrating constantly. It annoyed Xiang Huaizhi, so he directly set his phone to Do Not Disturb.

A red rose appeared in his sight.

Xiang Huaizhi was surprised and lifted his head.

Jing Huan was holding the popcorn with some difficulty. “Today the theater is having an event, and I just bought a couple’s set meal…” 8Sv d2

Before he finished speaking, Xiang Huaizhi took the popcorn and the rose. “Thank you.”

Jing Huan: “…”

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Jing Huan: “?”

He just couldn’t hold everything himself and had wanted Xiang Huaizhi to help him out a bit. wLdTox

What was the “thank you” for?

Jing Huan didn’t dare to say or ask anything and just sat down in silence.

Ten minutes before the opening of the movie, Jing Huan had just taken a sip of coke when his cellphone rang.

Jing Huan took it out and looked at it with a slightly stiff expression. “It’s… Lu Ge.” nYCipX

When he got up this morning, he had received a message from Lu Hang, asking for the contact information of his “roommate with a domineering voice”.

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Although he didn’t know what had happened, it was obvious that Xiang Huaizhi hadn’t exposed him.

With this kind of shameful thing, just getting found out once was bad enough. If Lu Hang or Lu Wenhao found out… He may want to take a temporary leave of absence from school.

Whatever the case, Xiang Huaizhi was a really good person. 6mWqah

Xiang Huaizhi held the rose stem and played with it, his index finger gently tapped on the petal and he didn’t say anything.

After a moment, Jing Huan read the message from Lu Hang and asked with wide eyes, “Ge, why didn’t you agree to Immortal Mengmeng ah, it’s 5000 yuan a head!”

Although it wasn’t a lot of money, the good point was that it was basically just a freebie, and only fools wouldn’t take it.

“5000 to kill them once, and 10,000 to do it twice. Our team has five people, so each person can get 2000!” DyEW3F

“She’s increased it to 7000 now!”

“Ge, do you think it’s too troublesome? In fact, it’d be fine if I operated two accounts and went myself. Of course, your money will go to you, and my money will also go to you… Ge?”

Having gotten no response, Jing Huan raised his head doubtfully.

Xiang Huaizhi lifted his eyes and looked at him lazily. He didn’t have a very friendly look in his eyes. QJSk3

Jing Huan: “?”

Did he say something wrong?

Jing Huan began to think about what he had just said, but he didn’t think any part of it was wrong.

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It couldn’t be that Xiang Huaizhi found that this reward too low? But, the price for this kind of thing was well known by all NCH players, and the reward being offered was already sky-high. qvXdR

Just as he was pondering on it, a very unreasonable idea suddenly appeared in his head.

Jing Huan himself was shocked by his own idea and even wanted to laugh.

What kind of mess is he thinking about…

While Jing Huan was internally laughing at himself for his flight of fancy, he sat forward a bit. R90MLl

After a long time, he tentatively called out in a very low voice, “Gege?”

Then, he saw Xiang Huaizhi look up with his eyes lighting up, and with a tone that sounded full of satisfaction, he answered softly, “En?”

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Juurensha: A movie date! And I love Lu Hang panicking in the background. cng5xA


Divi: Be that bro like Lu Hang, who doesn’t approve of cheating so he pesters XHZ. “The emperor is not worried, but his eunuchs are worried to death”. Also huanhuan, you really gonna cheap out on 20 yuan?? Now XHZ is thinking you’re courting him.

And we have a fanart page!

And be sure to support the raws! 0gtv7p

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Translator's Note

about 710 dollars

Translator's Note

around 5 dollars, that’s a great deal

Translator's Note

Basically Chinese Valentine’s Day

Translator's Note

8.24, still really cheap

Translator's Note

995 usd

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  1. [ Only to see Xiang Huaizhi walk over to Jing Huan’s side and hand him a bottle of mineral water.

    Please visit chrysanthemumgarden.com

    The two girls were dumbfounded.

    Lu Wenhao was dumbfounded.

    Jing Huan was also dumbfounded. ]


  2. Why should I pay more if I can pay less? 20 yuan now, 20 later and so on, sometimes people don’t realise how much they spend over the time with this thinking.

    I love this novel and I love your translation, thank you!

  3. [“I don’t want to get divorced yet.”] and followed by an invitation to a date 😆 XHZ go chase your wife~ and firmly capture his heart ❤

    [ Little Road Little Road Certainly Wouldn’t Get Lost: Fuck, you’re cheating? Are you really cheating??? No way… Who are you on a date with? Someone from our school? Which year? An older girl or a younger one ah ? Do I know them? ]

    Also Lu Ge!!!! It’s so nice to see the skirtchaser friend stopping his dear friend from turning into the scum he was rumored as. 👍

    Thank you so much for translating 💕

  4. I approve of Huanhuan’s choice of spending less, because wow, what a steal…

    Xiang Gege is so easily satisfied by being called gege~ plus that rose~ uwu

    If they aren’t photographed again and uploaded to the forum idk… I’d probably give away my brownies or smth… I ain’t as stupid as Lu Wenhao to promise handstands…

    Lu Ge is such a good bro~ he doesn’t condone cheating even tho he’s kinda slaggy(?) himself…

    Thanks for the chapter~ ( ^ ♡ ^ )/

  5. Huanhuan doesn’t realise that he sends all the signals, without realizing what he’s doing xD Dangerous species. But that satisfied Xiangxiang at the end uwuwuwu simply adorable

  6. [ Jing Huan was also dumbfounded. ] I feel like this is the most accurate description of JH for the last three or so chapters, he’s just so lost with the way all turned out, xDD Also movie date yass!!!

    Thanks for the chapter!! <3

  7. So now XHZ won’t answer if JH doesn’t address him as ‘Gege’?..hmm,XHZ,you are clearly asking to be spoiled.Thanks for the chapter.

  8. This powerful and straightforward wife-chasing Xiang is very good. Huanhuan is getting confused but still trapped in Xiang’s schemes. Hehd

  9. What’s the difference between Ge and Gege oh? 😂 Is Gege more coquettish or something?

    Thanks for the chapter. 🙂

  10. XHZ just wants to be called gege by his ‘wife’ lol Wonder when he will come clean with JH and they clear the complete misunderstanding finally :’D

    Thx for the ch (ㅅ˘ㅂ˘)

  11. Ha!!! And the courtship has begun oficially! Xiang Huaizhi wants to be called Gege, huh!

    CUTE cute cute.

    Thanks for the chapter!

  12. “The emperor is not worried, but his eunuchs are worried to death”.

    this line even tho not part of story got me laughing 🤣🤣🤣

  13. I need some help! Which chapters is it that huanhuan warming Xiang ge hand by tucked his hand in his pocket ; – ; I couldn’t find it

  14. Hahaha he wanted him to say “gege:

    Thank you for translating this novel.