Ex-Husband's CallChapter 20

Sleeping with someone you know means that your relationship could easily head toward two different extremes. One possible outcome is that you’ll feel awkward at the very thought of the other person and never interact with them again. The alternative is to feel as if you’ve opened the door to a brand new world and take pleasure in certain ‘adult’ activities every time you meet up.

Tong Qiu didn’t know which path he and Huo Zhixing would follow but right now, he was seriously questioning his own existence. SIgdkG

He originally thought that this particular ‘student’ was at most a poor performer, or more accurately, a slacker. Who would have thought that Huo Zhixing would go behind his back and get tutoring outside of class in order to display such a shocking performance in the exam room?

Speaking as Student Huo Zhixing’s homeroom teacher – and as the exam paper that Huo “Godly Pen” had written on – Tong Qiu was so blissed out that he felt as if he had reached the Heavenly Gates and given a lap dance to the Jade Emperor himself.

Story translated by Chrysanthemum Garden.

However, when he fell back down to earth, he began pondering over a very serious question: who exactly had taught the underachieving Huo Zhixing so well? And how much money had he spent on those lessons?

Tong Qiu cast a glance at the student in question, who had already left him and was tidying up the exam room. After a moment, he opened his mouth and squeezed out a “You sure spent a lot on tutoring fees, didn’t you?” 9LyYX8

His eyes stared fixedly at Huo Zhixing as he thought about what had happened earlier tonight. He figured Huo Zhixing must have doled out a few hundred million in tuition fees.

What a waste.

If he had known earlier that Huo Zhixing had such sharp wits, Tong Qiu would have taken on the job himself. After all, he was an expert when it came to teaching.

“What?” Huo Zhixing still hadn’t caught on.

It didn’t matter if he hadn’t caught on – after all, students rarely understood what their teachers were talking about.

Huo Zhixing threw the paper towel aside and pulled Tong Qiu up. He asked, “Can you walk?”

Both Tong Qiu’s physical state and mental state were exhausted. Forget walking, he couldn’t even be bothered to move.

Tonight, Huo Zhixing’s display had been shocking and Tong Qiu needed some time to reflect and might as well do some soul-searching while he was at it. 9FwOGj

“Looks like that’s a ‘no’.” Huo Zhixing bent over and lifted Tong Qiu in the storied ‘princess carry’.

The last time Tong Qiu had seen someone being carried this way, it was when he had been at Huo Jiao’s wedding. He had been standing off to the side, trying to inconspicuously help Huo Jiao’s husband wipe the sweat on his face. At the time, he had thought that it was lucky that Huo Jiao had a smaller frame and that if it had been two men, it probably would have ended up in a few broken arms.

And yet, Huo Zhixing was carrying him in that exact pose right now.

Huo Zhixing was a police officer and his physical strength was astonishing. He was as gallant as ever, and despite having just finished an ‘exam’ he seldom took, he still had the energy to do a princess carry. ACq49l

Tong Qiu looped his arms around Huo Zhixing’s neck and didn’t speak. His mind was filled with all kinds of distracting thoughts.

Tong Qiu stood like a wastrel under the showerhead and barely lifted a finger. Throughout the whole process, it was as if he had reverted to an infant who didn’t know shit and couldn’t do shit and just waited obediently for other people to serve him.

We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.

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Eluta joafg Kbcu Hle rtea tlr fsfr, tf ofia Leb Itlzlcu xlrr atf mbgcfg bo tlr wbeat. F0wnas

Huo Zhixing was too damn good.

Yet again, Tong Qiu began to question his existence. Is the current Huo Zhixing really the same person as the unromantic ex-husband who he had to greet and bow to before getting into bed with?

Chrysanthemum Garden.

Tong Qiu said to Huo Zhixing, “Sir, please blink a few times if you’ve been abducted.”

Huo Zhixing laughed. “I haven’t been abducted; you’re the one who’s tied me up.” aXZdGY

—

After the two had completely finished up with the ‘exam’ and cleaned themselves up from head to toe, they returned to the exam room, refreshed. Tong-laoshi couldn’t help but frown.

Although there had been a recess in the middle that had lasted ten or so minutes, the entire exam had taken Huo Zhixing nearly two hours.

From what Tong Qiu could remember, Huo Zhixing usually took half an hour. And when he had set the exam time for 40 minutes, he had felt that he had been too strict. Who knew that after a few months break from exams, this particular student managed to show improvements in both quality and quantity. MvR8No

“Alright then,” Huo Zhixing said after he finished changing the bed sheets, “it’s getting late. Hurry up and get some sleep. You still have to wake up early for work tomorrow, right?”

For some strange reason, a flash of anger surged through Tong Qiu and he didn’t reply. He endured the pain in his ass and climbed underneath the covers. If Huo Zhixing found someone else to tutor him, then so be it. What did that have to do with him?

However, Tong Qiu’s heart was still unsettled.

Since his heart was unsettled, he had no choice but to do something about it. Besides, he had drank a lot tonight anyway. BSWhNK

It took a while for Huo Zhixing to realize what Tong Qiu was going on about. He let out a laugh and pulled Tong Qiu into his arms. He asked softly, “Is this jealousy?”

Tong Qiu’s insides were struck by the word ‘jealousy’. Of course it was jealousy, Officer Huo had already seen through him.

If anyone found out that he was getting jealous over his ex-husband, he’d be a laughingstock.

Tong Qiu didn’t utter a single word and was so embarrassed he buried his face in Huo Zhixing’s chest. He rubbed the tip of his nose against Huo Zhixing’s bare skin, like a little kitten acting spoiled. syvbCS

“I didn’t find anyone else,” Huo Zhixing said in a placating manner, pressing a gentle kiss on Tong Qiu’s forehead. “How could I bear to find someone else.”

There was too much ambiguity behind his words.

Tong Qiu asked lazily, “Then why was your technique so good?”

As if he wanted to prove that he wasn’t making a baseless claim, Tong-laoshi bravely put forward an example as evidence. “You used to take barely 30 minutes and we only did it once a month. Every time, it was like you were just going through the motions and you didn’t even wait for me to feel anything before finishing.” Wo5LcQ

Tong Qiu continued. “During the year we were married, we did it 11 times in total. And out of these 11 times, not once did I so much as change positions. Each time was just like a normal routine – show up at the office, bend your head while you get your work done, and clock out before the day’s even over. To be honest, I didn’t feel that you had any interest in me, and when we did it, you never seemed excited. If I’m being frank, I actually thought you had some sort of erectile dysfunction or that you were born indifferent. I even thought about sitting down for a chat with you and if you were sick, then we’ll find a cure together.”

The words ‘if you were sick, then we’ll find a cure together’ were very thoughtful, but when Huo Zhixing heard them he honestly didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

Chrysanthemum Garden.

“……” On one hand, his head was beginning to hurt but on the other, he wondered if Tong Qiu had been fucked so well that he had become muddled and was finally willing to say everything that was on his mind.

Even though Huo Zhixing had known before their divorce that Tong Qiu had some complaints about his technique, he hadn’t imagined the complaints would be this heavy. It was to the point that Tong Qiu’s imagination had clearly run wild and assumed he had some sort of illness. Moreover, he hadn’t expected Tong Qiu to assume that he hadn’t been interested. hVsUK

“Tong-laoshi, this is a huge misunderstanding.”

Tong Qiu, who was still wrapped in Huo Zhixing’s embrace, raised his head. “What?”

“Wasn’t it because you didn’t enjoy it?” Huo Zhixing actually felt extremely wronged.

Tong Qiu felt as if there was a thunderclap right next to his ear and he jumped out of his skin. “What do you mean, I didn’t enjoy it?” 2ojfWd

“It was back when we just got married and we were doing it for the first time.” Huo Zhixing was finally airing out all the grievances he had held back all this time. “I was actually full of energy at the time and wanted to show off my might and power in front of Tong-laoshi. But you acted like you were afraid and resisted me, and even told me to go slower and be more gentle. You were even frowning and biting your lips and I felt bad looking at the face you were making. When I saw that you were suffering, I didn’t dare go overboard without taking your feelings into account. I was worried you’d think it was annoying so that’s why I was always so careful.”

Huo Zhixing thought to himself, ‘Babe, I was feeling real bitter too!’

To this day, Huo Zhixing could still remember Tong Qiu’s face that night. It was as if Tong Qiu had thought of him as some ferocious beast who would devour him in one gulp.

It was kind of a turn-off, to be honest. Su5zCW

Ever since their first meeting, Huo Zhixing had been attracted to Tong Qiu. Tong Qiu’s looks were his type and he had a good personality too, so Huo Zhixing enjoyed interacting with him.

Once they were married, he did feel that something was off but Huo Zhixing figured that Tong Qiu was naturally mild-mannered, like a warm cup of water. Being with a person like that was steadying but Huo Zhixing couldn’t act passionately in front of that kind of person. He felt like a beast even if he pushed a little and in the end, his restraint had forced him into a gentleman.

Of course, he later discovered that Tong Qiu wasn’t like what he expected at all and was just putting on an act in front of him. To his surprise, he found that it made him like Tong Qiu even more.

“You were worried…that I’d think…it was annoying…” Tong Qiu must be drunk again because his head felt as if it were about to split open. kn5yQ9

“Whenever we did it, you always looked kind of unwilling. Seeing you like that, I couldn’t bear to force you so I had no choice but to get it over quickly and let you off the hook.”

Alright then, Tong Qiu thought as he rubbed at his temples, it was kindness that dragged us into this whole mess.

Huo Zhixing couldn’t help but smile. “Who would have thought you were just pretending the whole time.”

“What?” Tong Qiu felt as if he had been struck again. k50a2P

“It’s nothing.” Huo Zhixing was too lazy to expose him and merely smiled to himself. He pressed Tong Qiu more tightly against his chest and said, “How was it today? Did you like it?”

Tong Qiu blinked at him and thought to himself, ‘Are you asking if I liked doing it with you or if I like you?’

Chrysanthemum Garden.

“It was alright,” Tong Qiu shrugged. “It sobered me up at least.”

Huo Zhixing grinned and gently bit Tong Qiu’s cheek. “Stop pretending. That’s not what you said before.” d3Wdhr

Before, Tong Qiu’s body was doing all the speaking for him and he had rambled incoherently. He had praised his ex-husband to the heavens and Huo Zhixing’s masculine pride was amply satisfied.

“I was in a state of confusion just now.”

“The fact that you were in a state of confusion must mean that my performance was pretty good.” Huo Zhixing treated all of Tong Qiu’s words as compliments and laughed against Tong Qiu’s ear. “If Tong-laoshi wants to hook up in the future, he doesn’t need to bother finding someone else. I’m always available, satisfaction guaranteed.”

  8HVkuX

—

The author has something to say:

Tong-laoshi’s thongs are chilling in the corner, quietly watching them. He will not allow himself to be forgotten.

  1eEH0z

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Translator’s Note

Thank you all so much for reading this far and I really appreciate all the feedback! To celebrate this translation reaching 20 chapters, I thought I’d translate two (heart-fluttering) cuts from the amazing audio drama based on this novel! I’ve narrowed down the options so please let me know in the comments the ranking of the scenes you prefer and I’ll pick the top 2 to translate!

• Taxi ride after the hospital visit (Chapter 8)
• Dressing room at wedding dress boutique (Chapter 11)
• Bedsharing on the night before Huo Jiao’s wedding (Chapter 15)

I’ll be closing the poll on June 10th, 2020 [11:59 PM PST] so please vote before then! Thank you again for all your comments and support, and I hope you enjoy reading the rest of the story! <3 TmsOH5

-mel

[P.S.: In light of recent news surrounding police brutality, please remember that this is a work of fiction and HZX is an extremely idealized portrayal of a police officer. I will continue translating this project but am aware of the distinction between fiction and reality, and in no way condone the cruelty that many officers around the world have demonstrated.]