Chapter 29:
Inferiority
As the small match burned, illuminating a small area around Alywin’s hand, Clarence glanced down at Alywin’s shadowed face. A dark expression enveloped Alywin’s face, and, though they had just been fighting, Clarence felt the urge to apologize.
“We need to move a little deeper in the tunnel.” Alywin said as he passed by Clarence and began walking. Clarence glanced at Alywin, then the dark space that contained the trap door. As the light began to fade, Clarence quickened his step to catch up to Alywin.
“I’m sorry Theresa told me about your childhood.” Clarence said, feeling like his voice was echoing in the long, dark tunnel, “I didn’t know that it would upset you this much.”
Alywin grumbled under his breath, low enough that Clarence could not catch what he said.
“What?” Clarence asked, almost bumping into Alywin as he suddenly stopped.
“This is far enough.” Alywin paused for a moment, then sat down on the ground, “And you’re forgiven. It’s not like you asked. She just told you.” Clarence racked his brain, trying to find something to say in reply. If Clarence was completely honest, if Theresa had not told him, he probably would have asked her to tell him about Alywin’s childhood. It had been on his mind since Alywin accidentally said he had lived on the streets as a child. When Alywin suddenly appeared in the high court when Clarence turned ten, he had always been told the same thing as everyone else. The story was that Alywin had been studying in a foreign country for most of his childhood, and when he was old enough, he returned to the Yursear kingdom to begin his training to one day take his father’s position as a duke.
The story had always seemed odd to Clarence, but he had not really questioned it until Alywin had mentioned his childhood. What stood out to Clarence the most was the haunted look in Alywin’s eyes as he spoke briefly of it. And now that Theresa had begged him to take care of Alywin, Clarence could only assume that there was more yet to be revealed of Alywin’s past.
“What are you waiting for? Take a seat.” Alywin said as the match began to burn its way down, getting close to Alywin’s fingers. Clarence nodded before he slid next to Alywin, feeling the warmth from the candle and Alywin’s body next to him. As the heat of the match began to burn Alywin’s fingers, he yelped and quickly shook it out. The smell of sulfur hung heavy in the air as the two were plunged into complete darkness.
“Are you okay?” Clarence whispered, feeling like anything louder would be close to screaming.
“Yeah, I just singed my fingers on the match.” Alywin whispered back.
“Give me your fingers.” Clarence whispered out as he reached out and felt for Alywin’s elbow.
“Why?” Alywin said in a hushed tone, annoyance building in his voice.
“I’ll make them feel better.” Clarence said as his hand slid up Alywin’s arm, up to his hand. Clarence gently pulled Alywin’s hand over to him and gave the palm of Alywin’s hand a gentle kiss.
“What are you doing?” Alywin whispered, his voice heavy.
“My mom used to do this when I hurt myself as a kid, and it always worked for me.” Clarence thought for a moment, “Though she would usually kiss where it hurt. I can’t see your fingers, so I just went for the next best thing. Did it work?” In the darkness, Alywin ripped his hand out of Clarence’s, his face flushing heavily as he bit back a frustrated sigh.
“Did it not work?” Clarence whispered into the darkness.
“No, it worked.” Alywin muttered back, “Too well, actually.”
Clarence’s brows furrowed, “What do you mean?”
Alywin refused to answer, so silence fell over the two.
“Clarence, I know we came out here to find your true love.” Alywin whispered, breaking the silence, “But what if we don’t find them?”
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
“What?” Clarence said, sitting up, “Of course, we will. It’s destiny, Alywin.”
“Dea ktja lo sbe’nf jigfjvs wfa sbeg ‘ojafv qjgacfg’ bg ktjafnfg sbe mjii atfw?” Cisklc jrxfv, tlr nblmf yjgfis j ktlrqfg.
“Ktja’r lwqbrrlyif.” Jijgfcmf rjlv klat j rwjii mtemxif, “Qtfc P wffa atfw, P’ii xcbk la’r atfw.”
“Vb, sbe pera tjnfc’a wfa atf gluta cbyif sfa? Kbb yjv Jtjgibaaf’r cba j wjc, rtf’v yf qfgofma lo cba obg atja.” Cisklc ktlrqfgfv ylaafgis.
“What are you talking about?” Clarence asked, startled by Alywin’s sudden reemerging temper.
“You know exactly what I mean.” Alywin shot back, “Someone who’s just a ‘street rat’ or a ‘beggar’ could never be good enough for you.”
“That’s not true at all!” Clarence whispered back heatedly, “I don’t care what background he comes from, all that matters is that he loves me for me!”
“You’re a liar!” Alywin snapped back, “Don’t act like you don’t see me differently now that you know my past!”
Clarence froze as what Alywin said sunk in.
“Alywin-” Clarence gently whispered into the darkness.
“Don’t.” Alywin said shortly as he turned his body away from Clarence and got up, “Forget I said anything.” Clarence immediately jumped up and followed after Alywin, listening to his footsteps for guidance on where to go.
“So that’s it?” Clarence angrily whispered into the darkness, “As soon as you are honest with me, you run away? What are you so afraid of, Alywin?”
Alywin spun around, “You have no idea what I’ve been through, so don’t act like you get to chastise me.”
“Don’t you get it, you idiot?! I don’t want to chastise you, I want to understand you! But every time I even get a little close, you run away!” Clarence took a step forward, reaching out for Alywin, but Alywin moved out of his grasp.
“How could you ever understand me?! For a short while, when I was the duke’s son, at least I felt like we were somewhat on a similar level, but now?! Now that you know the depths I used to inhabit, how could you ever understand me?! Or love me?!” Alywin heatedly whispered before throwing his hands over his mouth, his gasp ringing throughout the tunnel.
“What?” Clarence whispered, his voice shaken with surprise, “Alywin, do you-”
“No, I do not.” Alywin snapped back, “I don’t even know why I brought you here. I knew deep down that you would find out my past, and maybe I stupidly thought it would wake you up from this fantasy you are living in-
“What do you mean?” Clarence whispered, his face dropping as he listened to the painful words coming from the mouth of his friend.
“Don’t you get it?” Alywin said, forgoing whispering to let his voice boom in the tunnel, “You’ll never find your ‘true love’. That’s all a farce they make up in fairy tales to help children go to sleep at night! True love doesn’t exist! All there exists is lust and greed! Which one do you fall under, Prince Clarence?!”
Clarence remained quiet as he let Alywin’s words sink in. He clenched his fists tightly, cutting deeply into the skin on his palms. Then he released them.
His hands fell to his sides limply.
“You’re right.” Clarence whispered, looking at the wall, “It was a mistake coming here.” Clarence then pushed past Alywin and walked forward, keeping his hand against the wall as he walked further in the tunnel. Alywin groaned in frustration, listening as Clarence’s footsteps got further and further away, before he swore under his breath, punching the dirt wall with all his strength
…
Having been saved by the women in the brothel and Theresa’s quick thinking, Silas and Meredith could only thank them again in their hearts as they made their way up the stairwell, wigs and dresses still perfectly in place as they walked down the hall to the changing room, where they were able to change out of the outfits alone. For extra privacy, they closed the door.
“Silas, come over here, I’ll help you unlace your corset.” Meredith had already removed his wig, returning to his normal elven appearance before his mana had been completely depleted. His long blue hair rolled down his back, straight and neat, as if he had not been wearing the wig prepared by the women before. The makeup on his face, however, was slightly comical, making him look like a young woman attempting to look more mature. Silas laughed to himself as Meredith shot him a look, impatiently waiting to remove the dress from his body as he leaned against a nearby table, weak from his lack of mana.
Silas could not help but force out a little more laughter, still dressed in the wig and makeup from earlier. He shakily walked behind Meredith and followed his directions, removing the light blue dress from his thin frame before Meredith carefully removed the dress and folded it neatly in his hands, before he placed it on an empty dressing table to the side of the room. Silas could not wait to remove his as well.
Glancing in the mirror once more, Silas blinked once, then twice, surprised at the power of the stone and the makeup prepared by Theresa’s girls. Releasing the magic of the stone, Silas reverted back to his normal appearance, removing the wig with his hand as he looked to Meredith, smiling at him with an innocent grin.
“I don’t think I’m going to miss this.” Silas joked, standing still as Meredith unlaced the back of the corset, loosening its tight hold on his waist. Silas let out a large breath of air and inhaled in, rubbing the place where the corset had been on his skin. “Though, I admire the girls for being able to dress like this all day. It’s tiring enough for just an hour.”
Meredith was finishing buttoning his dress shirt as he did this, having found it balled up to the side, where the soldiers had previously searched for them. He had a harsh expression on his face as he neatened out the shirt, attempting to straighten out the wrinkles that had formed on the fabric. “It shows how important everyone’s role is in this war.”
Folding the dress in his hands, Silas hummed in agreement, placing the neat pink dress on the table on top of Meredith’s. The clothes that had been sorted around the room were quickly rifled through by him, and finally, he was able to grab the pieces of his suit and place them on, starting with his pants. He was starting to become cold. The mana in their bodies would usually course through their blood, keeping their bodies warm while it was in use, however Silas had burned up most of his, making it so his body could only warm itself using his own body heat.
As Meredith stood off to the side of the room, watching the door and Silas and holding their bags in his hands, a loud sound came from behind one of the large mirrors in the room. Looking intently at the now quiet mirror, Meredith and Silas paused for a moment to listen, Silas still holding onto his undershirt in his hands to place over his head. Meredith motioned with his hand for Silas to keep dressing and to pick up the pace, waving his hand off to the side at him as he used what little mana he had left to listen for any other noises.
What the two did not know was that behind the large mirror was a startled, speechless Clarence, staring intently at the two men in front of him. As he held his hand over his mouth, he looked over every inch of the young man’s body. Shakily, Clarence reached out a hand and touched the glass from the other side of the mirror.
“I-it couldn’t be.” Clarence whispered as he stared at the familiar form in front of him, memories from ten years flooding back into his mind, “It’s impossible. You’re dead. They told me you died ten years ago.”
Clarence, in his attempts to put distance between himself and Alywin, had found himself lost. As he wandered the long, winding tunnel with no light source, Clarence began to feel hopeless. His mind raced with thoughts of what Alywin had said as he continued to walk forward.
Lust? Greed? Clarence thought to himself angrily. What about real emotion? Am I so childish for looking for something authentic? His footsteps echoed in the narrow corridor, and his breath was light as he walked, feeling the irritation and aggravation growing in the bottom of his chest, threatening to spill out. He wanted to scream into the tunnel, but he bit down his anger. No, control it. I can’t relapse. I’ve done so well for so long.
Shaking his head angrily, Clarence continued forward, looking for a light source or an exit of some sort. It was only in the silence that Clarence heard the quiet rumble of voices. His head snapped forward as his feet moved forward on their own.
Are those men’s voices? Clarence asked himself as his ears strained to listen to the voices, They don’t sound like Yursinean knights though. As Clarence followed the sounds, the voices got louder, clearer. It confused Clarence more, Where are these accents from? They couldn’t possibly be customers. Theresa hasn’t opened yet. Are these the other guests Theresa was talking about earlier?
Clarence’s feet shuffled on the dirt floor, and his hands became red with irritation as they glided against the dirt wall.
I’ll get closer to see. It’s my only way right now of getting out of this tunnel anyway.
Clarence tried to watch his step in the darkness as he began to see an outline of light in front of him. He sighed in relief and crouched down, trying to be as silent as possible, so he would not be heard approaching. Every crawl forward confused Clarence more. His heart began to beat erratically and his forehead began to heavily sweat.
What is this feeling? This fear and excitement? Clarence asked himself as he listened to the lighter voice of the two men. Something in his mind felt like it was being awakened as he listened to the soft, weak laughter. He grasped his shirt, compelling his heart not to race, in case the two men could hear it as Clarence continued to approach the rectangular outline of light. It was only when the view of the two men came into view. Clarence froze as he stared at the man who had haunted him for years.
The prince’s eyes were fixed onto the man’s youthful face, the man’s blonde hair, the man’s bright green eyes, the man’s bare, muscular chest, the man’s pointed ears. As much as he wanted to scream out, to express what was in front of his eyes, he could not reach the phantom that had been haunting him for ten years. The man’s face lingered in his dreams, in his nightmares, and in his life, taunting him at every corner.
The resurgence of unspoken feelings clawed at his throat, attempting to come up and make themselves heard. This feeling of powerlessness made him feel like a child again. He was powerless to act against it. His hands trembled as he raised his fist to smack the glass with the side of his palm, but as he swung down his fist, it stopped only inches away from the glass, and his eyes refocused on the elf again. Unclenching his fist, Clarence lifted his fingers slowly until the pads of his fingers rested on the cold glass, resting where the elf was standing, covering that man’s face with his palm. It was a futile attempt to hold the man in place, possess him for a moment longer, but the distance between them was still too far, and he was unable to hold him.
“What do you think that was?” Silas asked as he held his shirt in front of him.
Meredith hummed and responded quietly, “I don’t know, it could have been nothing. Still, let’s not stick around to find out,” Staring at the mirror, Meredith added, “Keep on your toes.”
Suddenly, the sound behind the mirror rang out again, the sound this time louder and more frantic. Silas’s eyes widened as Meredith quickly moved across the room to the dressing rack, looking for his weapon hidden among the clothes.
“Careful-!” Meredith spoke up, reaching out. Silas stood frozen in place as the mirror to the dressing room shattered, startling both of the occupants inside.
As the shards of glass fell from the mirror, a pair of blue eyes met with Silas’s green ones, and the face became clearer the more Silas looked at it: Navy blue hair, round blue eyes, and light tan skin that could only belong to a certain royal. Having not seen this face in ten years, it took a moment for Silas’s mind to process the weight of the image in front of his eyes. It was the older face of the child he had attempted to kill.
It was Clarence Godfreed.
Seeing the sudden intruder, Meredith yelled, “We need to leave!” Interrupting the silent reunion, Meredith quickly tossed a heavy black cloak over Silas’s face and side, hiding his features from view. This caused Silas to drop the clothes in his hand onto the ground. It was too late for him to attempt to dress himself now.
Without waiting another moment, Meredith grabbed Silas’s arm, still holding onto their bags, and made a dash through the door, leaving the prince to stand behind the now-broken mirror, his eyes following them as they fled from the room.
The faint flush on his cheeks remained and burned as his eyes stared down the hall where the two elven men ran, dodging past the running women and down the hall where they were no longer in view, their heads and faces covered by the cloaks from before.
“Clarence!” An angry voice called from behind him, before gasping and asking, “What happened here?” Alywin quickly approached Clarence and grabbed his arm, pulling Clarence’s limp body to his side and out of the broken glass sitting on the floor.
Clarence was silent and his eyes were blank, as if he had been shocked by something, making his brain cease all functions. It wasn’t until Alywin shook him and spoke to him again, this time in a confused voice, calling his name, “Clarence?”
The prince blinked once, then twice, shaking his head slightly as he looked at Alywin with an expression similar to that of being awestruck. “Alywin… I found him.”
Alywin shook his head and asked, “Found who? What happened here?”
Clarence walked forward into the empty room, past the disheveled clothes and other items the guards had tossed around earlier, to the middle of the wooden floor, where a champagne colored rug rested. On that rug were two clothing items, a button-up dress shirt and a tartan vest, both styled in a simple Yursinean fashion. With care, Clarence bent at the waist and lifted the clothes off of the floor with gentleness Alywin had never seen the prince display before. His eyes moved to the prince, who was holding the clothing close to his chest like a newborn child, tucked in his arms, away from anything that could destroy them.
“I found him.” Still holding the clothing, Clarence looked up at Alywin, smiling a smile of someone who had discovered life’s meaning. His eyes were bright, and his cheeks flushed a warmer shade of pink than before, making him appear innocent and cute. However, seeing this expression, a cold shiver trailed down Alywin’s back. Alywin watched in concern as he followed Clarence’s gaze, fixated on the clothing in his arms.
Abruptly, the prince said, “He can’t be far.” Clutching the clothes, Clarence looked up, his face flushed light pink and a smile creeped on his face, showing the dimples on his cheeks. “I have to follow him.”
“Clarence-!” Before Alywin could stop him, the prince had already begun to follow the elves, making his way down the hallway as Alywin’s hand hung up in the air, his fingers facing towards Clarence’s disappearing figure.
…
Happy new year, all! Ugh, Clare tsk tsk…. writing this had Hunny and my skin crawling! Can you believe we’re at 232 pages on the draft? It’s been a wild trip, and I had to throw out 200 pages worth of material to fit the story line from my original idea, but I wouldn’t change anything, and writing those pages back has been all but worth it to share with you all ♥
Hunny and I are considering making YMtK a webtoon. It’s only a thought at the moment, but we’ve done one before, and I feel my art has improved enough to consider it. For now, we would be finishing the main story line as I work to accumulate enough chapters to post with Hunny. Would you all be interested in reading this as a webtoon?
I’ll be posting a drawing of Clare and Aly on my twitter later ;; I just got back from a two and a half hour drive, same drive later today, so it may come tomorrow…. Stay safe all, and thanks always for reading~! ♥♥
QUE BONITO!!!! AAAA!!! 😀
Cuando Clarence y Silas se ven muy 🥺🥺🥺 mori
Gracias por el capítulo, ha sido maravilloso c:
Esta capítulo, me gusta pensar que Clarence había hecho este: ┴┬┴┤( ͡° ͜ʖ├┬┴┬ “Oye, papi~ ♥” jajaja
Gracias por leer!! ♡＾▽＾♡
I want Alywin to find love!! My heart broke for him. He obviously likes Clare but doesn’t have the self worth or confidence to imagine a future with him 😭
MUST PROTECT MUFFIN. HE MUST BE HAPPY.
Thanks so much for reading!! (ﾉ≧∀≦)ﾉ Alywin will keep fighting for his love for sure!!
And I am going to steal Muffin as a nickname for Alywin! That’s too cute!! ♡(ŐωŐ人)
I would definitely read it as a WebToon!!
That makes me so happy to hear!! Thanks so much for you feedback, and I’ll be working hard to move it over into a webtoon format for you all to read!! ♥ (ง •̀ω•́)ง✧
As much as I am excited for the romance subplot to unfold, a part of me can’t help but wish against it because I’m afraid that what’s awaiting them is pain and suffering before any love could materialize.
sweats Y’all are onto us…! Ahaha there will be some trials Clare and Silas will have to face, possibly separate or together, but I can say there will be leaps and bounds of growth between them as characters ♥ Thanks so much for reading!! (ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ*: ･ﾟ
OHHH MY GOSHHH AHHHHH