On Friday night, Xu Ze received a call from Lu Heyang. He said, “Hello,” but oddly enough, Lu Heyang didn’t respond straight away. Xu Ze asked anxiously, “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” Lu Heyang’s voice sounded the same as usual, “Are you free this weekend?”
Xu Ze replied without hesitation, “I’m free.”
“I’ll pick you up tomorrow afternoon.”
Xu Ze didn’t ask where they were going or what they were doing, his focus was, “Have you returned home?”
“Yeah, I arrived early this morning.”
“Okay.” After thinking about it, Xu Ze asked, “Do I need to prepare anything?”
“No. I’ll have dinner delivered to you early tomorrow. You can shower after dinner and wait for me at home.”
“Okay.”
On Saturday morning, Xu Ze went to the nursing home to visit Ye Yunhua. When Zhou Zhen found out that Xu Ze was planning to sell the house, he seemed hesitant to speak. In the end, he just said, “It’s all right, no rush.”—Xu Ze took it as consolation.
After returning from the nursing home, Xu Ze followed his usual routine of reading and studying. But he was constantly happy simply because he would see Lu Heyang. Besides, it happened to be his birthday. Xu Ze didn’t expect Lu Heyang to remember, so he considered it a coincidental gift.
As evening approached, Xu Ze ate dinner, took a shower, and worked on test papers while eagerly waiting for Lu Heyang. This was probably the least focused he had ever studied.
It was still bright outside after 5 pm. Ding—he received a message from an unknown number: Come downstairs.
Xu Ze sprang to his feet. He unplugged his phone from the charger, grabbed his keys, and rushed out the door. Lu Heyang’s car was parked under the tree across the hallway. The front passenger side window was open, and Lu Heyang just watched Xu Ze with his head tilted, not smiling or showing any other expression. Xu Ze suddenly stopped and stood by the stairs.
The sound of chirping birds and rustling leaves filled the quiet surroundings. After a few seconds, Lu Heyang finally smiled and said, “Stop spacing out.”
Xu Ze wasn’t spacing out; he was contemplating something without rhyme or reason.
He walked over, got into the car, and fastened his seatbelt. Lu Heyang didn’t say anything and started the car to drive away. After driving down the street, Lu Heyang glanced in the rearview mirror. All of a sudden, he turned the steering wheel to the left and entered a narrow street that led deeper into the residential area.
Xu Ze wasn’t familiar with the streets in the old town. Instead of trying to figure out the reasons behind Lu Heyang’s actions, Xu Ze was more concerned about scraping the car.
After circling for over twenty minutes through the maze of narrow alleys, Lu Heyang parked the car at the neighborhood’s exit. He unbuckled his seat belt and touched the side of Xu Ze’s neck, “Get out of the car.”
Xu Ze got out of the car. As soon as he closed the door, Lu Heyang grabbed his hand and led him into a side alley.
The wind blew past their ears and puffed up their T-shirts. Xu Ze thought of the first time he saw Lu Heyang at the club. After they defeated those alpha robbers, they ran into the alley together like this. Back then, he had still been Seventeen.
After going through the lengthy alley, they came to a convenience store at the intersection where a black SUV was parked. An alpha leaned against the car—it turned out to be He Wei.
He Wei, who had visibly lost weight, flashed a composed smile when he saw Xu Ze’s stunned expression, “Don’t worry, I just went on a three-day hunger strike not too long ago.”
“Is everything in the car?” Lu Heyang released Xu Ze’s hand and asked.
“It’s all packed in there.” He Wei suddenly looked distressed, “If my dad and Uncle Lu find out, I’ll die in an instant.”
“You’re so great,” Lu Heyang said.
“Our Xiao Ze.” He Wei reached out and hugged Xu Ze, “I won’t be going to school anymore, so we might not have many chances to meet. Think of me often, wife.”
Then he asked miserably like a wimp who had been two-timed by Lu Heyang, “Where exactly are you taking my wife? Why are you making it look like you’re going to elope? Are you still coming back?”
Lu Heyang opened the front passenger door for Xu Ze. After Xu Ze got in, he closed the door and walked around the front of the car to the driver’s seat. Before closing the driver’s side door, Lu Heyang looked at He Wei and suddenly smiled, “Who knows.”
The car started driving away from the old town’s residential buildings and heading toward the wide suburban road against the setting sun. Xu Ze looked at Lu Heyang’s profile and noticed a hint of a smile on his lips. It was like the one he saw when he was seven years old, that mischievous and childish smile that evoked Xu Ze’s most raw feelings.
So Xu Ze also smiled. The wind in the wilderness blew into the car, and he felt happy. It was happiness that he couldn’t help but smile at when he looked back on this moment years later.
The sun hadn’t yet set when they reached the mountain road. The car wound up the mountain with a forest on one side and the sea on the other. Xu Ze leaned over the car window to watch the half-set sun dip into the distant horizon and tried to absorb every frame and image along the way.
When only a streak of sunlight remained on the horizon, Lu Heyang drove the car onto a path near the mountaintop, passing through the forest, and stopped under a tree.
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“A few years ago, I came camping here with He Wei and Yunchi,” Lu Heyang said as he strode out of the forest and threw the equipment on the ground.
Xu Ze went over to help him unpack. After a moment of thought, he said, “It must have been fun.”
“It was,” Lu Heyang took out the tent frame, “Till we discovered that there were at least a dozen bodyguards in the surrounding forest.”
Xu Ze was startled and turned to look at the forest behind them. Lu Heyang set up a lamp and turned it on. The warm light revealed the smile on his face. He hung the lamp on a stand and said, “Don’t be afraid, didn’t we ditch them before?”
Xu Ze wasn’t afraid, he just thought that Lu Heyang rarely mentioned anything about his family affairs. In a way, he didn’t know anything about Lu Heyang and could only make a general concept based on He Wei and Gu Yunchi’s stories.
They set up the tent quickly. It was cold in the mountains after nightfall. Lu Heyang moved two folding chairs in front of the tent and handed a shirt to Xu Ze, “There might be bugs.”
They sat down on the chairs, with the sea and the city at their feet and the lighthouse shining brightly in the harbor off in the distance. Xu Ze buried his nose in the shirt collar but didn’t detect Lu Heyang’s pheromones, only a subtle scent.
“The shirt belongs to He Wei,” Lu Heyang said.
Xu Ze froze. He sat up straight while looking at him and said, “Eh?” Lu Heyang smiled again. He opened a bottle of mineral water for Xu Ze and said, “I was just teasing you, it’s mine.”
“Good.” Xu Ze didn’t feel the slightest bit self-conscious about being tricked but rather felt reassured and leaned back in his chair.
“The scenery here is even better after it snows. In the winter, we can come and see the snow.” Lu Heyang pointed to the mountain on the left, “There’s an open-air ski resort over there, we can go skiing then.”
“I’ve never skied before,” Xu Ze replied after a pause. He actually wanted to ask “Will we spend the winter together?” but the answer was too obvious, so he didn’t need to ask.
“I’ll teach you.”
Xu Ze tried to imagine it, but a scene that had never happened and would never happen was destined to be unimaginable. He stretched out his left hand from his sleeve to reach over the armrest and touched the back of Lu Heyang’s hand. Lu Heyang turned his hand up and pressed it against Xu Ze’s palm to interlock their fingers.
They sat quietly while listening to the wind and waves. Xu Ze tilted his head slightly and his eyes closed partly in relaxation. He rarely had moments like this where he could breathe freely, even though there were still many problems to solve. Perhaps such moments were a one-time occurrence.
Then he closed his eyes fully and drifted off to sleep. Xu Ze discovered that he always fell asleep quickly when he was next to Lu Heyang. Lu Heyang probably wouldn’t leave him on the mountain while he slept this time.
But, in reality, Xu Ze would have no objection if Lu Heyang left him behind.
When he was half asleep, he felt as if someone had touched his forehead. Xu Ze subconsciously tightened his grip on Lu Heyang’s hand. He opened his eyes and saw that the moon had risen at some point. It was round and bright, covering the entire night sky in a vast and distant glow.
“Awake?” Lu Heyang leaned his head close to Xu Ze.
Xu Ze was confused for two seconds before nodding, “How long did I sleep?”
“Over an hour.”
“…” Xu Ze looked a little regretful. He straightened his head and whispered, “I was just going to rest for a moment.”
“It’s natural to get tired after riding in the car for so long,” Lu Heyang said, “You haven’t done anything wrong. Don’t be so self-reflecting.”
This statement prompted Xu Ze to start another round of self-reflection—reflecting on whether he was always self-reflecting. Lu Heyang watched him for a while, then scratched Xu Ze’s palm with his thumb, “Stop.”
Xu Ze stopped and looked at Lu Heyang without thinking about anything.
Lu Heyang stood up and led Xu Ze in a different direction. As they passed the tent, he bent down to take something out of the gear bag, but Xu Ze couldn’t see what it was.
They walked along a path for about ten minutes. As they stepped out of the woods, Xu Ze saw a lake. The bright moonlight reflected shimmering ripples on the surface of the water.
Lu Heyang placed the things down on the beach by the lake and began to unpack them.
“You shouldn’t light a fire in the mountains. Don’t follow my example.” Lu Heyang lit a lighter, “But at the lake, we can put it out in time if something unexpected happens.”
Xu Ze didn’t hear much of what he said, he only heard the click of the lighter and the sizzle of the fuse burning.
The silver light burst from the ground up to his chest like a sparkling bouquet, shining upon Xu Ze’s face under the deep blue night. It seemed like he hadn’t taken it in, yet he appeared to be concentrated, staring motionless at the fireworks with his exceptionally bright eyes.
After a long time, Xu Ze raised his eyes. His gaze passed through the fireworks and landed on Lu Heyang’s face. At that moment, he was sure that Lu Heyang remembered his birthday.
He hadn’t celebrated his birthday since he was seven years old. He had never imagined that someone would take him away from everyone’s sight, flee from the city, and run off to a quiet mountain forest to set fireworks for him by the moonlit lake—and that person was Lu Heyang. How was that possible?
Xu Ze suddenly closed his eyes. He had a wish.
He didn’t want anything in particular. Xu Ze just hoped that his grandmother would get better and that Lu Heyang—
He opened his eyes and locked eyes with Lu Heyang. The fireworks were slowly fading away.
Lu Heyang smiled at him without saying a word.
They soaked the used fireworks in the lake and put them back in the bag before bringing them back to the campsite. Lu Heyang washed his hands with mineral water and lay down in the tent with Xu Ze.
The moonlight shone through the net at the top, and Xu Ze gazed at the sky. As he watched, a faint golden light glided across the tent.
“Was it a shooting star?” Xu Ze asked.
“Probably a firefly,” Lu Heyang replied.
Just as he finished speaking, another light flashed by slowly. It was a firefly.
“Fireflies,” Xu Ze repeated the correct answer.
Lu Heyang asked him, “Did you just make a wish?”
“I did.”
“What did you wish for?”
Xu Ze clearly believed Lu Heyang more than the superstition that “wishes don’t come true if you say them out loud”. He blinked and said truthfully, “I wished Grandma would be in good health.”
“Anything else?”
“Yes.”
“I hope you’ll be free.” Xu Ze turned his head. The white moonlight fell on their faces. Xu Ze looked into Lu Heyang’s eyes, which were close by, and said, “I wish you freedom.”
The next day, Xu Ze woke up surprisingly late. There was no one around. He abruptly sat up.
Lu Heyang packed up his toiletries. When he turned around, he saw Xu Ze’s head poking out of the tent. His hair was messy and his face was still sleepy, but his eyes were wide awake. The moment their eyes met, it was obvious that Xu Ze was letting out a sigh of relief.
“I just got up too,” Lu Heyang handed a travel-sized kit to Xu Ze.
Xu Ze took it and continued to look at him. Lu Heyang smiled and tousled Xu Ze’s hair even more and said to him, “Happy 18th birthday.”
Some people’s adulthood began when they became adults or graduated, but it must have happened earlier for Xu Ze. Maybe the day he lost his father at the age of seven, or maybe the night he stepped into the boxing ring for the first time. There was no such thing as a ceremony, just an unexpected shove from fate.
Xu Ze’s expression became dumbfounded, and he replied, “Thank you.”
On the first day of being eighteen, Xu Ze experienced an unprecedented idleness. After packing up the tent in the morning, Lu Heyang took him to a house halfway down the mountain that overlooked the sea. Xu Ze didn’t see anyone there, but there was a freshly made breakfast on the dining table.
After breakfast, Lu Heyang answered a phone call. Xu Ze stood in the living room and looked at the white hands on the black clock. When the second hand had turned three times, he heard Lu Heyang come in.
“There’s a pool table over there. Want to play pool or watch a movie?”
Xu Ze had already played pool with Lu Heyang, so he chose something they hadn’t done together, “Let’s watch a movie, is that okay?”
“Yeah.”
Fresh fruit and drinks had been placed on the coffee table in the home theater. The sofa was large and comfortable. Lu Heyang handed the tablet to Xu Ze, “Pick what you want to watch.”
Xu Ze had pitifully little entertainment in his life and didn’t know which movies were best-sellers or which stars were popular. He browsed through the options cluelessly, then asked, “Is this one okay?”
Lu Heyang had already put on a U-shaped pillow. He looked at the documentary about polar bears on the screen and wondered where in the world Xu Ze had found it.
“If you want to watch it, you don’t need my permission.”
Xu Ze nodded and pressed play. As the movie started, the lights in the room gradually dimmed. Xu Ze felt Lu Heyang lean on his shoulder.
The screen was filled with white snow, so pure that it seemed cold air was coming out. Lu Heyang’s breath gradually became long and steady. Xu Ze turned his head to the side. The light from the screen flickered on Lu Heyang’s face. Xu Ze looked at him and slowly traced every inch of his features.
It occurred to him that if Lu Heyang were to live with someone in the future, it might be like this, and that was fine.
Xu Ze lowered his head and wanted to kiss Lu Heyang’s forehead but for fear of waking him up, he settled for a kiss on Lu Heyang’s hair.
They had lunch late. It was almost 2 pm, the hottest time of the day. They could see the dazzling sea through the glass wall of the dining room. Xu Ze looked at it for a while and then turned back to look at the clock on the wall.
Lu Heyang was calm the whole time. After lunch, he took Xu Ze to sit on the living room carpet and gave him a controller to play games together. Xu Ze lost repeatedly, his eyes seemed to have no focus, and he kept looking up at the clock.
When the final level ended, Xu Ze stared blankly at the moving clock while the game music played. He heard Lu Heyang say, “Let’s go.”
“Okay.”
Just like when they arrived, they didn’t talk on the way back. They had their backs toward the setting sun as they returned to the city they had left the day before. The wind blowing into the car was making Xu Ze out of breath. He closed the car window.
Halfway through the ride, Lu Heyang slowed the car down. Xu Ze saw a bodyguard’s car parked just ahead of them. The alpha standing next to the car had been one of his bodyguards.
“Get out of the car,” Lu Heyang said.
Xu Ze nodded and opened the door to get out. His clothes rustled because the wind was too strong. He took a few steps before turning around and seeing that Lu Heyang had also exited the car.
“I planned to take you gliding, but the people at the club told me that it was not suitable today because of the wind.” Lu Heyang smiled faintly, “We can only wait for next time.”
Xu Ze nodded again as if he only knew how to nod. Summer was coming to an end, but the afternoon temperature was still high. Xu Ze felt that he had no strength. He clenched his fists and noticed that his fingertips were cold.
“Will you be gone long this time?” he finally asked.
“It might take a little longer.”
“Okay.” Xu Ze nodded for the third time and said, “I’ll wait for you.”
Lu Heyang still stood about a meter away and looked at Xu Ze, “It’s okay if you don’t wait.”
Xu Ze swallowed and insisted in a rare moment, “I will wait.”
It didn’t matter if they couldn’t go skiing together this winter or if they couldn’t go gliding next time. As long as he could wait until he saw him again, he was willing to wait as long as it took.
“Mn.” Lu Heyang smiled again, “Get in the car.”
Xu Ze curled his fingers and said, “Okay”, then turned and walked to the bodyguard’s car. Before getting in, he looked back at Lu Heyang for a few seconds while holding onto the car door. Then he sat down in the passenger seat.
As the car started, Xu Ze stared at the rearview mirror without moving. After driving some distance, he suddenly turned to the side and poked his head out to look back with his hand on the car window. Lu Heyang was still standing in the same place beside the black SUV. A fiery sunset stretched out behind him, scorching across half the horizon and the empty countryside.
There was no waving goodbye, no loud farewell; they just exchanged another glance from a distance.
Xu Ze slowly sat back in his seat and looked at the center console. The screen showed that it happened to be exactly the same time Lu Heyang had picked him up yesterday.
Author’s note (slight spoiler):
Without any surprises, this should be their last time together. Be understanding as the overall situation is not good. The angst is not that intense, just a bit dog bloody.
Translator’s note:
Don’t be fooled by the author’s words… THE angst is coming (but don’t forget it’s HE 
)
WHAT?? WHAT DOES AUTHORS NOTE MEAN???? AAAAHHHHHHH THIS CANT BE, THERES NO WAY?!?!?!
Noo! I want them together ? How long will the separation last ? 😖
this would’ve been a cute date if there weren’t troubles coming ahead 🥲
I GODDAMN KNEW IT
Sometimes you just can’t have good things😭
I’ve seen it coming from miles away. Celebrating birthdays is really a curse especially if you’re partnered with someone without freedom. 😊😊
I feel the angst coming already :’)
Oh shit, I’ll take a break from this one for now
Not sure I am ready for what’s to come….Angst, drama, I know is inevitable, but these kids deserve some happiness. Lu Heyang needs his freedom. I’ll continue and we shall see.