Yao Zhihao waited another day before facing Yao Wen. He needed to get himself into the right mindset to face his brother.
Three hours ago, he called Xian Bo to help him set up a meeting with Yao Wen. He could have easily searched for Yao Wen’s information, but he did not want to. It was easier to have Xian Bo help him since they and Yao Wen are together.
Standing at Xian Bo’s door, his hand lingered in the air, barely touching the door. On the other side of the door, he knew Yao Wen was there—Xian Bo told him so.
But knowing something and coming face to face with the knowledge were two different things. On the surface, he looked ready, but on the inside, his stomach churned at the action.
A minute passed as Yao Zhihao remained still, his hand trembling from being in the same position. A war waged inside him, making it hard for him to decide. But, he did not need to as the door opened for him.
Xian Bo stood on the other side, a hand on their hip as they looked at Yao Zhihao with a raised eyebrow. “So, are you going to stand there looking idiotic or come inside?”
He opened his mouth, getting ready to say he was coming inside, when he heard another movement in the house that caused his throat to become dry. His words were caught, almost making it hard for him to breathe.
Yao Zhihao felt too warm and constricted, like when his parents locked him in his room, never letting him out again.
Fuck, he couldn’t breathe. Why couldn’t he breathe?
Seeing Yao Zhihao’s reaction, Xian Bo walked out, closing the door behind them. They touched Yao Zhihao’s chin, making him slightly jump. Knowing that they had his attention somewhat, Xian Bo started talking. “Listen to me and follow my breathing, okay?”
Xian Bo started breathing in and out, trying to get Yao Zhihao to sync with them. It took a few tries, but Yao Zhihao began to match with them as his heartbeat began to calm down.
Yao Zhihao did not realize that he had a panic attack.
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
A minute passed as Xian Bo made sure Yao Zhihao was fine. “Do you still want to enter? We can do this for another day.”
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Xian Bo hummed, staring at Yao Zhihao for a beat longer before letting Yao Zhihao’s cheek go. They turned around, opening the door. They did not walk in—instead, they held the door open for Yao Zhihao.
“You two talk. I will be out here. If you need anything or have to go, walk out.” Xian Bo explained.
Taking another deep breath, Yao Zhihao nodded before walking inside. The door closing behind him made his body grow stiff. He walked over to the living room, seeing the back of Yao Wen’s head.
He stopped, staring at the brown curly hair that reached Yao Wen’s shoulders. The soft-looking hair reminded him of times he used to run his fingers through them. The moments when Yao Wen slept in his room—only falling asleep when Yao Zhihao would pet his head.
Those memories hit him like a brick, making him want to turn around and run. But, when the head turned his way, showing him shiny, emerald green eyes, Yao Zhihao felt rooted to the ground.
Those eyes that used to hunt him glistened, lighting the room brighter than the ones in the room. “Yao Zhihao.” Yao Wen spoke his name in a soft, light tone that Yao Zhihao wondered if he went back in time.
“WenWen.” He accidentally let slip. He hasn’t thought about Yao Wen’s name in that way in so long. But, now being faced with him, the nickname effortlessly slipped out of him.
Sadness mixed with nostalgia entered Yao Wen’s eyes, causing guilt to crash inside Yao Zhihao. “Come sit.” Yao Wen invited him over.
Yao Zhihao made his way over to the couch like he was walking to his doom. His life felt on the line, or maybe his heart as he took Yao Wen in.
He looked better than what Yao Zhihao did to him back then. His face grew older while still holding some adorableness in it. Yao Zhihao noticed the collar around his neck with Xian Bo’s name on it. He could question it but ignored it instead.
It was not the time for that.
Silence crowded the space between them as Yao Zhihao could not let his eyes leave Yao Wen. Yao Wen stared back, taking him in before glancing down. “It has been so long since I have seen you. How have you been?” Yao Wen started, trying to fill the tension in.
“Do you hate me?” Yao Zhihao blurted instead.
Yao Wen looked up in surprise, “What?”
A slight blush fell over Yao Zhihao’s face as he felt stupid for blurting out one of his thoughts. He calmed himself once more before asking again, “Do you hate me for what I did to you and how I treated you?”
Shaking his head, Yao Wen looked at Yao Zhihao with clear eyes. “I don’t. I should, but I don’t. I still love you. You will always be a brother to me that I love. The story between us isn’t good; I know that, and so do you. But, everything wasn’t your fault. Mother and father played a role in it too.”
“Did you love them?” Yao Zhihao softly asked, looking down. He could no longer stare into the certainty in Yao Wen’s eyes. It made his chest hurt. He could not understand why Yao Wen didn’t hate him.
Yao Wen’s fingers ran across the couch as he watched them. He sighed, taking a second longer before answering. “I did in the beginning. I did not have a family; my parents died when I was barely one. I have always been in the orphanage since then.
“People did not want to adopt me for some reason until mother and father came. I was happy to have a family. And when they mentioned they had a son, it made me ecstatic because I wanted a sibling, someone to call brother or sister.
“The way they treated me was a dream come true, anything, an orphan like me, would love to have. But, the way they treated you was hell. All you wanted was love, and I was selfishly receiving all of it.”
Yao Zhihao felt a knot twisting at his stomach, “Is that why you wanted to be my friend? To give me something my parents never gave me?” He slightly felt sick if that was true because that means it meant nothing.
Will he never find anyone to love him truly?
Yao Wen went back to looking him straight in the eye, “A tiny part of it, yes. But, I really wanted to be your friend—your brother. My love for you is honest. I never lied to Yao Zhihao, I promise. I don’t even blame you for choking me.”
During Yao Wen’s talk with eyes that laid true, the knot in Yao Zhihao’s stomach loosened. But, his breath slipped away like someone hit him in his chest when Yao Wen spoke his last words.
Choking Yao Wen still stained his hands like a tattoo. How many times did he wash his hands when he was young? How many times did he hurt them to atone for what he did? And how many times did tears fall from his eyes until they could barely open the next day?
“But it is my fault. You shouldn’t have said you forgave me that day. I hurt you—I wanted to kill you. Fuck, Yao Wen, I ruined you since the day you said you wanted to be my friend.” Tears started pooling in Yao Zhihao’s eyes as he began blinking them away.
Yao Wen reached over, grabbing Yao Zhihao’s hand as he brought it towards his throat. He moved his collar down with his free hand, giving Yao Zhihao space to touch his neck.
The touch threw Yao Zhihao off-kilter. His hands began shaking as he tried pushing away the memories that came with it. “Don’t—” he started, only for his voice to crack off.
“Brother,” Yao Wen started as the words hit Yao Zhihao like a tidal wave, “I forgive you.”
Tears finally slipped down his cheeks as he moved closer, resting his forehead on Yao Wen’s forehead. His hand softly held Yao Wen’s neck, remaining there. “You’re dumb for forgiving me, WenWen.”
Yao Wen used his free hand to rub Yao Zhihao’s back, letting him cry. He chuckled, also closing his eyes as he took in the familiar warmth. “I should say I know, but I would never think so.”
Yao Zhihao chuckled through his tears. They stayed in that position, not once moving from each other as they sunk into the old warmth of broken memories.
There were unspoken problems between them still, but Yao Zhihao knew they could try to work it out. Because this time, they are not separating. Yao Zhihao wants to be a proper brother to Yao Wen.
Thanks for the chapter 😭❤
Xian Bo becoming a psychologist in this crowd would be like a dermatologist in a tanning salon!