Yao Zhihao waited a day before searching for his parents. They lived in a different house, showing they moved around the same time he left the old house.
Now, parking near their home, Yao Zhihao clenched his steering wheel. His knuckles were white from how tightly he held the wheel. He stared at the house with anger, hate, hurt, and defeat quickly running through his body. His emotions started to mix, almost making it hard for him to breathe.
Yao Zhihao took a few deep breaths, closing his eyes as he thought of Shao Yuhan. He needed to remember the reason he came here.
After a few calming breaths, Yao Zhihao finally stepped out of the car, closing the door behind him. He slowly walked to the front door, his feet dragging behind him. Even his hands shook as he pushed them into his pocket, trying to calm them down.
So many years had passed that he told himself his parents were nothing to him. But, he knew he was a liar to himself. Because if they were nothing to him, then how could they still affect him in this way?
Once he reached the front door, Yao Zhihao swallowed down a lump in his throat as he knocked on the door.
He knocked twice before pushing his trembling hands back in his pocket. And it did not take long, although he wished it had, for the door to open.
His aged father appeared in his view as surprise and recognition hit the man’s face. Yao Zhihao wished it hadn’t. It would have been amazing if his parents had forgotten him.
But he knew Xian Bo would still preach about finding closure with them so that he could better himself.
“Son?” His father questioned.
Then, a voice that Yao Zhihao still hated to hear with every fiber within him yelled out, “Honey, who is at the door?”
His father stared at him, taking Yao Zhihao in like he wondered if his son was honestly before him. After a second, Yao Zhihao finally found his voice to speak, “Are you going to answer her, father?”
Opening and closing his mouth, nothing came out from his father. They stood there, staring at each other as his mother walked over. “Honey, did you hear? I said, who is at the—,” her words caught in her throat for a second when she saw Yao Zhihao, “door?”
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
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Moving out the way, his father let him in. Yao Zhihao walked inside as his father closed the door behind him. “Follow me.” His father spoke, moving in front of him.
Yao Zhihao followed him to the dining area. He sat down at the table once he saw his mother already sitting there. His father joined, taking the seat by his wife.
They stared at each other, tension silently filling the air as no one knew how to start the conversation. It is not like they were ever talkative with each other.
After minutes passed by, with neither of them saying anything, Yao Zhihao let out a long exhale before saying, “I hate both of you.”
His mother snorted like she waited to hear something new but was disappointed when it was something she already knew. His father reached for his cigarette, quickly lighting it as he inhaled the stick before blowing out the smoke.
The smell brought back many memories, making his stomach churn. Yao Zhihao could not stop himself from taking a deep inhale. The memories may not have been good, but they were still memories.
“If you came here, after so many years, to tell us this, then you wasted your time. We know you hate us. What kid wouldn’t with the way you grew up?” His father responded, taking another puff.
“So, you two are aware of what you’ve done to me?” Yao Zhihao asked in disbelief.
“Neglect and not love you? Yes, we know.” His mother responded as if it was nothing.
Anger burst through Yao Zhihao as he stopped himself from standing up and snapping. “You know, if you didn’t want me, you could have given me up. You wanted a normal son but treating me that way was never going to get you one.
“If you loved me, cared for me, took my side, and gave me the attention as a parent should, I would have never treated Little BiBi the way I did. I would have been the “normal” son you wanted. I could have been Yao Wen.” Speaking Yao Wen’s name made his heart strain with pain.
“What kind of parents would we have been if we gave you up? My parents would have some words to say if we did. Reputation is everything, and I was not going to ruin it.” His mother responded. His father checked out from the conversation long ago, smoking as he sat there.
“So, you would have raised a child you hated rather than ruin your reputation? A child that you neglected, locked away, and cursed because you could not stand them? Fuck your reputation! Have you ever thought of what all that did for me?
“Did my mental health never cross your mind?” Yao Zhihao practically snapped, trying to hold back the tears threatening to come out.
His mother sighed like everything Yao Zhihao said meant nothing to her. Her walls were unbreakable when it came to Yao Zhihao. “What do you want me to say? That we are sorry? Well, we’re not. We are past the stage of lying to you. So, if you came here, after many years for this reason, then sorry, not sorry for disappointing you.”
Taking a deep breath, Yao Zhihao leaned back, calming down. The storm in him stood at a standstill. Did his heart hurt? Yes, because it shows his parents never cared or felt sorry for their actions. But, simultaneously, the honesty made something click for him.
“Did you adopt Yao Wen because you wanted a son that you knew you could love and care for? A son that wasn’t me?” Yao Zhihao lightly asked. He looked his mother straight in her eyes, not wanting to glance away.
His mother stared back at him, opening her mouth, but her voice was not the one that filled the space between them.
“Yes.”
Yao Zhihao turned towards his father, who looked at him as ashes fell from his cigarette. There was no change in his face, no lie in his eyes as he spoke the truth. Yao Wen was Yao Zhihao’s replacement.
“You have already spoken the words in your way, but I need to hear it again: did you ever love me?”
“No, never.” His mother and father simultaneously spoke. The conviction those words held filled the whole house like someone turned speakers to their max.
Even though the words were negative, they made something in Yao Zhihao feel better. He could remember his father showing him fake concern while falsely saying he and his mother loved him.
Yes, his mother called him a monster and everything she could think of, but she never said anything else when his father would say they loved him. She barely refuted him.
And, now that they spoke the truth to his face, it calmed the emotions he held for his parents. Nothing could ever take away what he dealt with his parents, but it would stop letting it keep a hold of him.
But, that does not mean he forgives them. There is nothing to forgive. The scar would remain, but it would stay in the past: faded, but not forgotten.
Yao Zhihao looked away, staring out the bright window that brought in the sunlight. “Tell me one more thing,” he started, “why did you keep me and not Yao Wen when you separated us?”
“Why would we show a family member how fucked up our son is? We would have loved to keep Yao Wen, repairing the soul you broke. But we had to keep you because we didn’t want anyone seeing you; we didn’t want those judging eyes on us.” His mother answered, almost sneering as she thought about having to keep Yao Zhihao with them during that time.
Standing up, Yao Zhihao pushed in his chair, hearing everything he needed. He gave a short bow before straightening himself. “I heard everything I needed to. Do not worry about us crossing paths again; this is the last time we will see each other.”
His father stood up, flicking the cigarette towards the trash can. It landed inside. “I will walk you out.”
They walked to the door while his father opened it for him. Yao Zhihao walked out as his father stopped him for a second, “You should have forgotten about us the moment you moved away. We never had anything to give you.”
“I know.” Yao Zhihao responded, not once looking back as he walked to his car. He heard the door closing and locking behind him, symbolizing a closed chapter that would never open again.
He unlocked his car, opening the door as he sat inside. Once seated, silent tears slipped down his cheeks as he laughed. Fuck, he told himself he would not cry and still ended up anyway.
But the tears were good because he knew that once they clear, so will the chains his parents held on him.
Sorry if this felt anti-climatic for y’all.
Does Yao Wen still seriously love them as his parents? Did he never notice what happened to Yao Zhihao? And damn I’m thinking more and more that the only one worthy to call themselves parents are Chang Min’s mom and dad…
You will know Yao Wen’s thoughts on everything soon.
Chang Min’s parents should just adopt them all.
I’ll just wait some more then!!
AND YES THEY SHOULD 🥺
+1
It’s hard to imagine parents being that awful. 😭
I think that scene is pretty realistic, although I didn’t expect them to admit they never tried. Anticlimactic, not really, I’m glad it wasn’t an overdramatized scream-fest.
It is very hard for me to understand how much emphasis Chinese parents place on reputation and appearance, even to the detriment of not only themselves but their children.