T/N: Due to a mistranslation, here’s a quick note for those who are confused about Ha Joyoon’s profession; Ha Joyoon is a journalist, more specifically, a photojournalist (or news photographer), someone who shoots photographs that capture news events. Although, mainly, he would be referred to as a ‘war correspondent’, which again, is just a journalist who covers stories through photos, videos, etc, first-hand from a war zone. This is what he worked as prior to his accident. These terms may be seen being used interchangeably as ‘journalist’ alone is pretty much an umbrella term. Hope this clears everything out. Thank you for reading!
Oh my love, The First.
After hesitating for a long time, his slightly dry lips moved slowly.
“There’s no one here.”
“The office staff has moved due to internal affairs.”
The moment when the doubt had been resolved. Ha Joyoon shook his head lightly.
“When did you come to Korea?”
Although he was his senior in university, Ha Joyoon had only met Shin Kwonjoo a few years ago, when he was an intern at the head office working for him for about half a year. As the contract ended, he too, ended up moving to another overseas branch. Until the day before his departure, the man hadn’t told him anything about himself, and there had been no personal contact with each other since. Rumors flew by a few years later that he was promoted as the youngest editor-in-chief and settled there after acquiring US citizenship, but that was all.
It was strictly a professional relationship and the end of the crossing point between me and Shin Kwonjoo. This made it all the more surprising that Ha Junghye said that she received a lot of help from him.
“Half a year ago. But more importantly, Don’t you have something to say first?”
“……?”
Shin Kwonjoo snorted quietly as he tapped his watch and looked at him without any enthusiasm. His eyes shone sharply. Only then did Ha Joyoon remember the mistake he had forgotten and rubbed his cheek with a puzzled expression.
As he was contemplating how to apologize, Shin Kwonjoo, who was approaching him, sat lightly on a nearby desk. The nose bridge of the man to whom he had tossed the document papers, looked sleek. The man in front of him had a refined aura. In the past, there was an intense feeling of aggressiveness, but now it seemed that a well-cut customized suit fit him better.
“I never expected to wait for someone I didn’t even ask to meet.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I like that you don’t try to make useless excuses, but you should keep your promises.”
Shin Kwonjoo’s eyebrows sharply contorted as he spoke without mercy. Although the atmosphere in the air might have changed, the blade that was well-cut remained. The lips that were looking for something to say, in the now awkward atmosphere, soon closed tightly.
Ha Joyoon had never been good at speaking up. It was difficult for him to articulate his numerous thoughts by putting them into words, and once in a while, the words he meant to say were often omitted in midst of his sentences. Thus, he chose silence since he was not eloquent, but there were many people who interpreted that as arrogance. He knew that this tendency of his caused misunderstandings from those around him, but he didn’t care much about his surroundings because of his characteristic aloof personality. This was also why he wasn’t able to question his own lover’s betrayal since he couldn’t figure out whether betrayal was what happened after all.
It was Shin Kwonjoo who broke the awkward silence and spoke first.
“You still keep your mouth closed and just move your eyes instead.”
“…….”
“And you still make people feel embarrassed for interacting with you. ”
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
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“Why? Do you think I never feel any embarrassment?”
“… I heard from my sister. That you helped out a lot….”
The words were uttered after careful thinking, but the focus was off somewhere else. Shin Kwonjoo shook his head as if he was familiar with that.
“It was nothing.”
“…….”
“The reason why you asked me to meet you was so that you could thank me? Not that you kept your word.”
“…….”
“I helped her because I could. I was contacted personally by chance, and by chance, I could answer some of her questions, that’s it. I didn’t actually look into anything myself. Anything else?”
It was a neat and precise answer. Did he hear what his sister, who was excited about the reunion, said rather exaggeratedly? Ha Joyoon looked at the man in front of him in embarrassment. He had a face that was indifferent to the feelings of others. Just like in the past, exchanging greetings with each other was just awkward. Although the cold treatment of Shin Kwonjoo was embarrassing, it was better to have this situation that ended neatly only on each other’s business without the interference of the five senses of excessive emotion. He nodded his head silently, rubbing the nape of his neck in the cool air.
“Still, it comforted my family quite a lot. Thank you. I wanted to give my greetings and say thanks but I’m sorry that I couldn’t keep my promise. I should have left the office right away, but I got caught up in my thoughts momentarily…. I’ll be on my way.”
“All right.”
The man only nodded lightly with an expression absent of any interest. It was when he turned around without regret with the gesture to leave that he had done his business.
“Did I mention Kang Taejung? He said he was your friend.”
Without realizing it, his head turned back at the mention of that painful name. Shin Kwonjoo’s indifferent gaze was still locked onto the papers.
“He seemed desperate as he looked for you. It’s amazing that people usually go that far between friends. You had been wanting to get in touch with me but why don’t you contact that friend of yours first?”
Things had been a lull until recently. What that man added was enough to steeply raise Ha Joyoon’s emotional ups and lead the downs to their fall. No matter how many times he had been through it, it was still a pain unfamiliar to him. He felt a prickling sensation, fiddling around his heart, and he looked down at the floor without saying a word.
All emotions fall like the leaves in autumn. It was only then that he realized the emotional changes that Kang Taejung had to go through during the five years he could not remember. A time spent waiting, in anger, in frustration, in hope, in mourning, and finally in conformity that led him to eventually give up.
“Hey.”
A voice filled with confusion echoed throughout the space. Ha Joyoon blinked slowly. It was as heavy and difficult as it was when he had just opened his eyes after regaining consciousness. For some reason, the face of the man in front of him looked distorted. Is something wrong with my head? As he pondered, he realized that his cheeks were damp with moisture, and raised his hand. There were amp droplets on his fingertips. Only then did Ha Joyoon finally realize that he had been crying.
Shin Kwonjoo’s face, which was only faintly visible, became clearer as he blinked a few more times. The cool expression that had been on his face a while ago was nowhere to be found by the man and was instead replaced with embarrassment.
Even in the midst of a horrific battlefield where countless people were dying, not a single tear could be seen from a certain moment on. He had a hard time accepting his mental state, which had weakened over the past few days. Ha Joyoon, barely placing his hand on his forehead, slightly lowered his head again. His nose was stuffed up.
“I’m sorry. I’ll see you again next time.”
As if he didn’t like the apology, Shin Kwonjoo frowned slightly with his arms crossed. Their eyes met briefly. An intense energy was pierced in a straight line. It had been like that before, but it was a strange feeling. A voice that didn’t hide his displeasure came out.
“I don’t know what point made you react like that. Did I make a mistake?”
“No, you didn’t.”
“… You’ve been unconscious for several years, it seems you’ve changed.”
“…….”
“Or are you just hurt?”
Apart from the grumpily raised eyebrows, Ha Joyoon felt the genuine curiosity in Shin Kwonjoo’s tone of voice and smiled without realizing it. Thanks to that, the eyes that had hardened were then gently loosened.
“I’m sure that’s not it.”
“Then why is it like that?”
“What is?”
It didn’t seem like he was a talkative man, but it was funny that the conversation continued even in this situation. When he looked up at him, Shin Kwonjoo, who still seemed bothered by his appearance, muttered with his brows furrowed
“You looked exactly like a corpse.”
“…….”
This time, I was really at a loss for words. Ha Joyoon stared at Shin Kwonjoo with a baffled expression. The water had dried up a long time ago. No, it’s not a corpse, but a doll carved out of wood. What he added made it a little more ridiculous, but the man in front didn’t seem to care at all.
“Anyhow.”
He changed the look of his eyes again as if he were no longer interested and turned back. To him, Ha Joyoon was strictly a stranger, and he had no intention of hiding that fact. An extremely dry heart, unable to detect even a momentary warmth.
“I have another appointment too, so let’s leave.”
Shin Kwonjoo grabbed the documents, laptop, and briefcase on the other side of the desk and gestured to Ha Joyoon. Needless to say, it was his way of escorting the guest. Come quickly. After letting out a short sentence, Shin Kwonjoo strode toward the door first. Ha Joyoon hurriedly followed him in the footsteps that took place in an instant.
Suddenly a memory of the past came to mind. Shin Kwonjoo, who was always busy working, and Ha Joyoon, himself, who followed him and struggled to learn more. The passion and enthusiasm of that time were as hazy as if it had been a long time ago.
That’s right. Just as memories are diluted, emotions, too, are diluted as easily. His clenched fist tightened. Do I have to accept Kang Taejung’s changed behavior in this way by endlessly rationalizing it? Ha Joyoon closed his eyes tightly in the agony that flocked yet again.
“I’m busy this week.”
“Sorry?
Ha Joyoon, who had been following him, stopped again at the words that had ambiguous intentions. The man who was checking the schedule on his phone then continued.
“I’ll call you around next week, so please keep your promise and be on time. Normally, you’d be out. But looking at your current state, it seems things have slowed down for you.”
“…….”
“I’ll let it slide this once. Also, bring your memory card the next time you come.”
“Memory card?”
When asked, Shin Kwonjoo took out a cigarette and answered as he held the stick between his teeth.
“Your five-year aged camera. We should still look at the photos.”
Unhidden arrogance and authority were stamped like a seal on the words spoken casually with respect. Ha Joyoon hesitated for a moment and blurted out what seemed to be the end of his intended sentence.
“Why is that….”
“You wouldn’t have any use for them anyway, right?”
“I… haven’t quit. … I’m coming back to work.”
Shin Kwonjoo responded with a more relaxed face when he received an answer to the words that he poured out without much thought. Smoke dispersed with the fricative of the lighter. A blatant sneer escaped the corners of his lips.
“You seem to have faith in yourself, but it also looks like you’re going overboard to the point I find it amusing. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a favor for Boyle, not me. He also asked me to select a proper photo because he felt bad to request a sick person to send photos right away.”
It was only after he heard the familiar name of his superior that Ha Joyoon nodded. Damien Boyle was Ha Joyoon’s direct superior and editor-in-chief of his team. I called him a few days ago to say hello but didn’t think of the professional repercussions of it. He was ashamed to assume Shin Kwonjoo’s intentions, but that was all. In an awkward silence and acrid cigarette smoke, the two reached the entrance of the building. As they were about to go their separate ways, Shin Kwonjoo stubbed out the remaining cigarette and smiled in a relaxed manner.
“See you next week.”
“Okay.”
There was obviously a smile on his face, but at the same time, there was no smile to be found at all. At that moment, ironically, Ha Joyoon realized that there was no sincerity in what the other person said.
‘I was contacted personally by chance, and by chance, I could answer some of her questions, that’s it.’
What he said was straight to the point with just the truth, no more, no less.
“I’ve repeated this over and over but still, be punctual this time. If you’re late again, I’d be worried that you’ve collapsed due to that head of yours.”
After that, Shin Kwonjoo turned around and began to go his way without hearing any answer, free of any reluctance. Ha Joyoon took a long stride as he quietly followed Shin Kwonjoo with a steady gaze toward his destination.
A strong and determined back. And the owner of that figure would never stop and look back at him no matter what. It was a fact that could be known without needing any sort of explanation.
Ironically, amid the apathy and indifference of Shin Kwonjoo, Ha Joyoon felt the emptiness of someone who had always sincerely worried and cared for him. The cheeks that could not hide the pain, contorted. Taejung. The name of the one who could not answer was scattered consolingly over the wayside in his mind. Tears fell on the ground again as they were accompanied by unbearable longing.
Ha Joyoon shook his head recklessly, unable to overcome the intense longing. I miss you. He couldn’t think of anything other than that. All the displeasure, resentment, and sadness disappeared and all he could think of was just how much he missed him. And then, I realized. He didn’t have the confidence to break up with Kang Taejung.
first, i think that it was very clear what profession Ha Joyoon had. at least for me.
second, long time before reading inner thoughts that look coming from a real person.
third, these thoughts make me really sad.
and
thank you for your hard work.
Literally made an account just so I could say THANK YOU!!!!! This has been my favourite manhwa since I started reading it so I’ve been wishing that someone would translate the novel for so long 😭 tyty I’m so excited yay 😁
Every new chapter makes me sad, but I’m so happy… Cognitive dissonance? ha-ha thanks for the chapter! ❤