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My Vegetative Partner Opened His Eyes in Anger After I Ran AwayCh25 - What In the World Does ‘Mythical Beast’ Mean?

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Translator: Callis
Editor: Walker


Tang Wan saw that the comments were flooding by too quickly and nothing could be read. He opened the settings and told the audience: “I’m going to revise it and let the system filter automatically. The questions asked most will pop out on their own, and the less asked ones will be screened out. If you want to contact and do business, you can find me on Weibo.” Lj2CY6

The audience only wanted to say: If we found you, you might not be able to see, you have a magical skill —— pretending to be blind!

Tang Wan went on to say: “I have opened the special function that will notify an official account, haha.”

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Barrage: Don’t pretend to be blind!
What’s the use of the settings when you pretend to be blind?!
There is a very good old saying: You will never be able to awaken a person feigning sleep!
It’s already been set up now. Being able to say such words, everyone’s resentment towards Tang Wan’s “pretending to be blind” is clear.

Tang Wan touched his chin and wondered, “Do you guys have some misunderstanding about me?”

XViG6g

Barrage: Of course not!

Tang Wan clapped Jin Xiao Pang’s two small paws. “You all are so united, I’m touched!”

Tang Wan’s fans were helpless: Seeing you heartless; you were banned before, remember? Why didn’t you say a word? You should cry a bit, let us comfort you, not tease us!

When Tang Wan saw the barrage, he held Jin Xiao Pang in his arms and petted it. “What’s the use of crying? It’s all over, it’s been settled.” Gqj0Dp

The fans were still very dissatisfied. Before, Tang Wan had clearly been taken advantage of. If he didn’t cry, how could the fans show their power? Dig him out and protect him together!

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Tang Wan cooperated and said, “I was banned a few days ago and I was quick to cry when I was at home. Really, I was innocent, pitiful and weak. Please protect me.” When he said that, everybody could see that he wasn’t serious. He encouraged his fans to be happy, “Fortunately, the staff of the Imperial Gene Security Department was fair and responsible. They checked and ensured that I was innocent, thank them.”

Because Tang Wan was like this, the fans were even more distressed; there were bitter things that couldn’t be said. Many male and female fans exploded. They threw him rewards and comforted him: Don’t be afraid, justice will stand on our side. Those who envy you are small and have short legs, and at adulthood will reach no more than 1.3 meters!

Tang Wan laughed happily: Thank you guys ~~ FfBN o

When the fans were comforted, they pulled out the question: What is the relationship between you and the Marshal?

Tang Wan didn’t pretend to be blind this time: “It’s like the relationship between heroes and small citizens, between spiritual pillars and weak chickens. It’s the same as yours.”

Sitting outside of the window basking in the sun, Zong He’s ears twitched. He subconsciously looked in the window; Tang Wan was carrying Jin Xiao Pang, sitting crossed-legged on the mat. He couldn’t tell if the statement was true or not. The corners of his lips hooked upwards and took it as being true.

The audience still refused to let go of the topic and continued to ask. Tang Wan habitually ignored them. VNdt H

We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.

Fine then, if they continued to ask this question, Tang Wan would certainly pretend to be blind; the audience was familiar with this routine. However, the question of whether the testing site was at the Marshal’s mansion remained in the audience’s hearts.

Ca atlr alwf, rbwfbcf jrxfv: Qtja fzjmais vbfr “Vtfc Ite Xf” wfjc?

Kjcu Qjc tjv pera ugjyyfv j tjcvoei bo wfibc rffvr ktfc tf rjk la, jcv tf ijeutfv rb tjgv tlr tjcvr rtbbx, “Ktlr, la’r cba fjrs ab fzqijlc. P cffv ab rqfjx jybea mlnlilhjalbc.”

A kind audience member stood up to explain for Tang Wan: I looked up a lot of information and a day later, I learned what “Shen Zhu Ge” meant. It’s an alpaca and originated from Earth’s South America. At the beginning of the twentieth century in the mysterious oriental literary country, China, officials launched a special campaign to curb internet vulgarity and a large number of websites had to be shut down. Swear words were banned, so netizens invented swear words using homophonic words, such as “grass-mud-horse” to bypass the website screenings. And gradually, “grass-mud-horse” was a representative of the “10 mythical creatures”. An alpaca is one of the animals in the set of “mythical creatures” that Chinese netizens meme’d about. So “Shen Shu Ge” means: grass-mud-horse. Kt9CLm

Ktlr ilcf kjr jeabwjalmjiis tlutilutafv ys atf rsrafw jr jc lcmlrlnf mbwwfca, wjgxfv gfv.

Audience: ! ! !

Tang Wan idly cracked melon seeds. He also called out Xuan Feng, Da Mao, Er Mao, San Mao……up till all seven.

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After the audience reacted, they sighed with emotion: Don’t offend Tang Tang in the future. Otherwise, if he scolds you, you wouldn’t know that he scolded you; he’s cultured, how frightening!
If someone comes up to me later, I’ll make them look like a mythical beast!
The person who discovered this is a scholarly tyrant; are you studying ancient Earth’s folklore, brother?
Earth is really interesting, I really want to go see it.
Don’t bother going to see it. It’s all polluted and the atmosphere was destroyed. You have to wear protective clothing if you go there and would still need to check the data. There are no faults in the history. They were all taken when we immigrated. BeM7vY

Tang Wan’s expression stilled slightly and sighed in his heart. He had also thought about the day he would have the opportunity to go down and see Earth. Now, it seemed that it wouldn’t be very convenient. In order to change the heavy topic and make himself feel better, Tang Wan clapped his hands and suggested, “Fur children, we can have a melon seed cracking competition.”

Xuan Feng was so excited when it heard that as it ran around Tang Wan and the hamsters with its wings outstretched. Because Xuan Feng had been known to pull hamsters into wheels and spinning them wildly, Tang Wan pulled several of the hamsters into his arms and vigilantly watched Xuan Feng go mad. Jin Xiao Pang, who was already in his arms, tilted its head and looked at the few small hamsters. It found that Tang Wan wasn’t paying attention. It extended its paw and tentatively pressed it against a hamster.

The audience was amused, their focus shifted and they went crazy over the cat’s paw.

Tang Wan quickly grabbed and pulled the cat’s paws back and poked at Jin Xiao Pang’s head to frighten it: “Don’t bully the weak! vVOidm

Jin Xiao Pang innocently licked its paw. It didn’t know what Tang Wan was talking about.

Tang Wan pressed down the frenzied Xuan Feng and arranged the hamsters. He gave five melons seeds to each of them: “Fur children, the Cracking Melon Seed Contest has officially begun. We’ll see who finished the quickest! “

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At Tang Wan’s command, all of the hamsters stuffed the seeds into their mouths. Two seconds later, all of the hamsters had shoved the seeds into their mouth pouches. Xuan Feng held a melon seed in its mouth and looked at the few hamsters with a dull look on its face, unable to respond to what had just happened.

The comments were full of haha’s, shouting at the injustice! Where were the melon seeds?
Heartbroken Xuan Feng, child, take this money to go buy some snacks, too pitiful.
Xuan Feng cried, Xuan Feng didn’t know what happened and lost.
No no no. Xuan Feng might be thinking in its heart: You little group of dwarves, why didn’t you spit out the melon seed shells? uj4V0M

Tang Wan also didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. He grabbed Da Mao and pulled the melon seeds out of its mouth and wanted them to play fair. Then, he pulled out five peanuts, three soybeans, a piece of dried vegetable, a dozen grains of rice, five corn kernels…finally, more than a dozen melon seeds.

Tang Wan helplessly rubbed Da Mao’s head. “How did you hide so many things?”

Panting, Da Mao struggled to get down from Tang Wan’s palms and hurried to collect all of the food on the table, not letting a single piece slip away.

The audience was crying: cute, want to raise QAQ
I also have a summoning ability, but I can only summon the dead. I want to summon something that can move! TtndCG

……

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Once again, Tang Wan lined them up. He gave them five melon seeds each and told them: “Only eat, don’t hide.”

The hamsters seemed to understand Tang Wan’s words. They each held a melon seed in their mouth and waited for Tang Wan’s order. The fur children were so clever that Tang Wan was shocked. Were hamsters such clever animals? Normally, even if they were taught simple commands, it was impossible for all of them to understand him. Today’s competition was already a more complex command. These little hamsters still understood it and stood in line waiting to crack melon seeds. Tang Wan was stunned. Given some time, would these fur children not mutate like beastmen and turn into humans?!

The audience, who didn’t know what the hamsters were like, couldn’t have thought of this. They all threw their rewards and begged for the competition to begin. There were a lot of people already on the Internet helping shout: Ready! Start! Eat! QvowAq

Tang Wan reacted. As soon as the order was given, all that remained in the room was the sound of cracking melon seeds, cracking one by one. When Xuan Feng cracked one, the hamsters had already cracked two. The melon seed shells were tossed onto the table; they were really eaten.

Xuan Feng shouted angrily, “What we fight for is passion, what we fight for is speed! Can you eat faster than me?”

Tang Wan wasn’t happy. “Are you muddle-headed? They’re eating faster than you and you’re still wanting!”

Audience: Not knowing how to count is terrible, our heart aches for Xuan Feng! kZ1tas

Soon, the little hamsters crack all five melon seeds while Xuan Feng had eaten only three. The ignorant, silly bird still felt that it was amazing and arrogantly asked, “Do you guys have any? I have! Do you guys have any? I have! I have!”

The audience cried and laughed: the Xuan Feng who doesn’t know how to count was silly!
You lost, are you silly?
Xuan Feng, you bullied Da Mao’s family, don’t say anymore!
It’s a pity that they can’t speak. They won and yet they still can’t say anything.
The hamster brothers look confused, they don’t understand Xuan Feng’s provocation.
Xuan Feng probably spoke with an accent.
Hahahahaha ~~~~

Tang Wan was also happy. He placed Jin Xiao Pang aside, letting him find a comfortable place to sleep. He stretched out his hand and let Xuan Feng hop onto his finger, bringing him closer to his chest and stroked it a few times, “Silly Feng ah, how can you be so cute?”

Xuan Feng was the type to act up in front of guests. As soon as Tang Wan gave it some attention, it would become splendid. Its exaggerating mouth: “Little Brother, a kiss, mua! Little Beauty, a kiss, mua! Little Darling, a kiss, mua!” Kg8YB3

Tang Wan pressed down on its head with a finger, discontent and at a loss, “Why are you such a fool?”

At this time, a gust of wind blew through the window, disturbing Tang Wan’s hair. Tang Wan squinted. Glancing over to the side, Zonghe was standing by the window with a solemn face and looked coldly at the silly bird who played tricks on his little partner. Tang Wan subconsciously put Xuan Feng down. After he put it down, he felt that that movement was very foolish and pulled it up again.

Zong He raised his eyebrow and left.

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Tang Wan: “……” nVLMtG

If it wasn’t Zong He who was silly, eating the bird’s vinegar, then it was he who was silly, putting down the bird, frightened.

After two hours of live broadcasting, the fans were happy, Tang Wan ended the live broadcast at five o’clock. He watched the rewards and happily closed the screen. He sent it to Zong He: Look, I can not make money?

When Zong He saw it, he sent back: En.

Tang Wan was pleased: It wouldn’t be a problem at all for my finances to have a few cute kids. I still haven’t divorced you. On the contrary, I give you good food and grooming service everyday. The Marshal must be grateful. zRdH0T

Zong He: En.

With these two “en”, Tang Wan was satisfied. There definitely weren’t many people who could make the Marshal concede.

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Having gotten great satisfaction from Zong He, Tang Wan habitually logged onto Weibo. After every live broadcast, he would go to Weibo to see if there are any suitable businesses to conduct.

When he broadcasted live, he said he’d use the official account. Right now, he really had received a lot of goodwill on the account. They wanted to get in touch with Tang Wan and cooperate with him. But Tang Wan wasn’t really interested and didn’t look upon it. Z1v Uh

At this time, he got another message on his official account. Tang Wan first looked at the other’s ID and unexpectedly raised his eyebrows. “Luo Bing Jun Studio?”

Luo Bing Jun Studio @Eating, sleeping, and scolding Da Zhuang: Hello, I’m Xu Mi, the agent of Luo Bing Jun Studio. Can we hire your family’s Da Zhuang and Jin Xiao Pang to take a portrait with Luo Bing Jun?

When this official message, Luo Bing Jun’s fans already exploded: Jun ge wants to release a portrait?!

God! The King of Heaven’s first official portrait since his debut!!!
No way, I’m suffocating. My Jun ge is going to release a photo album!
This must be promised! Tang Tang! It wouldn’t be a loss to cooperate with the King of Heaven!
Tang Tang! Promise him! Promise him! Please promise him! Just like Tie Zhu promised Cui Hua! UOb0xh

Fans were getting crazier and crazier and the Weibo soon received hundreds of millions of responses. Tang Wan’s fans were all excited, asking him to agree to cooperation between the head of the live broadcasting circle and the singing circle. Before the deal had even been settled, the fans had already gone mad.

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Luo Bing Jun fans stood out. There were about equal numbers of Luo Bing Jun and Tang Wan fans, but some of Tang Wan’s fans were scholars studying paleontology who wanted to study the animal’s behaviors during his live broadcasts. Because they paid attention to him, they weren’t necessarily his fans. Luo Bing Jun’s fans were different; almost all of the fans who followed him were loyal. Hearing that their idol wanted to take photos, they had decided he would carry the cat and pet it and almost fainted with joy. There were also calls for Da Zhuang. Tang Wan had some misconception that if he didn’t promise, Luo Bing Jun fans would storm the Marshal’s mansion with barrels of gasoline.

The corners of Tang Wan’s lips twitched. The other’s popularity was so high, he had no reason to refuse. He just wanted to ask if Luo Bing Jun was a human or a beastman, since the pricing would be different. If he was a beastman, what kind of species would he be? Furry? Long fur or short fur? Straight or not? If he’s good looking, he’d coyly give him a discount.

While he was thinking, he climbed from Xu Mi’s Weibo to Luo Bing Jun’s Weibo. Tang Wan found a picture of the King of Heaven. After seeing what the other person looked like, he was stunned. Black hair and dark eyes, long phoenix eyes, a tall nose, and a very handsome face. Tang Wan kneaded his forehead, and suddenly felt a little woozy and a bit blindsided. 41J pN


For some reason, this chapter was like pulling teeth….
But Tang Tang, you can’t stray!! You’re a married man!!!! Σ(゜ロ゜;)

Translator's Note

Homonym for ‘motherfucker’

Translator's Note

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hero_of_the_Times

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11 comments

  1. I wonder how the Marchal will deal with this because people might recognise him when he’s in his “Da Zhuang” form.

    Thanks for translator’s hand work ♡

  2. I got the premonition that instead of barrel of gasoline that’s gonna show up next chapter, it would be barells of vinegar~

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