This chapter is dark, please read at your own discretion. Please put your own health first. You can skip after ‘Remnants of a distant past’, I will add extra space for the safe part after for you can read. For more details,
triggering situation with parent shaming and inciting Lilius to s*ic*de
My eyes flew open. A tremor welled up from deep within my body.
It felt like I was standing in a different place than a second before. Feeble voices rang, one by one overflowing incessantly. Eventually, the voice full of unbearable rage and remorse transformed into a scream.
“──…That’s a lie.”
“Oh my, are you about to cry?”
“Why… Why… How can you do such a thing!? You’re insane… You’re all insane!!!”
“It’s this world that’s gone mad. Why do hypocrites look at us with such eyes, I wonder?”
“It’s because you do cruel things! You can’t just casually change people’s lives and futures like that!”
“In that case, should I say things I don’t actually believe, like Lilius?”
“Things you don’t believe in?”
Turning her skirt with a swirl, my older sister took a few steps ahead.
Then, she looked back to me and said with an innocent expression.
“It’s a lie. If you truly loved that child, why didn’t you ever show yourself? Knowing that the impure people I prepared are still living in that cold place, what did you do to help?”
“Th..at…”
“But. After all… It can’t be helped. —The words you all say are always the same, aren’t they? Despite that, you speak of love.—It’s nauseating, hypocrites like you living comfortably in a gentle world.”
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
Qlat vffq tjagfv rffqlcu atgbeut, atf bivfg rlrafg rmbgcfv wf.
Uegf vjgxcfrr, ktfgf cba fnfc iluta mjc gfjmt, bqfcfv lar wbeat klvf, kjlalcu.
Vemt atlcur jgf kgbcu. Rb wjaafg ktja atf gfjrbc wjs yf, ktja ws bivfg rlrafg lr vblcu lr ecobgulnjyif.
Dea ktja jybea wf?
Cw P cba uelias bo atf rjwf atlcu?
“Love is unnecessary. What should exist in this world is only fear and death, that’s all.”
I am just a hypocrite, as my sister said.
There were things I could have done. I was running away from those I left behind. I subconsciously understood that, so I had lived with a heavy heart all along.
I was so focused on myself that I pretended not to see it. Do I have the right to speak of love, being such a person…?
I gaze back at myself, feeling lost and drained.
Even as my sister’s hands gently hold my cheeks and lift my face upwards, I no longer have the strength to brush them away.
“Come on, Lilius. Shall we go soon? Even though I spent a lot of magic power to disperse the guards from Jill, as expected of my sibling. Thanks to absorbing your magic power, we can go to that place right away.”
“That place?”
“Poor thing. Are you blaming yourself? But it’s okay now. You won’t have to think about anything from now on.”
“Think about nothing…”
“That’s right. I’ll erase all memories and feelings. Just like I did to her and that filthy baron, I’ll clean up your mind too, so please rest assured.”
When I understood my sister’s words, Jill’s figure surfaced in my empty heart.
─ Lilius.
When I thought back to the voice gently calling my name and the hand stroking my head, my heart screamed out that even if I was deeply sinful, I didn’t want it to end like this.
“──Nn….no!”
“It’s alright. You should sleep peacefully.”
“Plea… Sto… op… Jill… Ji… ll…”
“You will forget all that sadness as well. Now, come here, Lilius.”
I struggled desperately to escape from the hand trying to grasp my head.
However, my restrained body that had been continuously subjected to pain, was easily trapped. And when my sister, with a faint smile, cast her magic…
Somewhere deep within me, I heard the sound of something collapsing.
“──?!”
A vast amount of memories that had been dammed up.
Due to the shock from my sister’s magic, forgotten memories of the past resurfaced.
“Aa…. A… Ahaha!”
Ah, I see.
I finally understand why I am in this place.
Why I have no memories. Why I lost the power of the Divine Flower.
‘Father… Have you ever loved me even once, as your son, as part of the family?’
Remnants of a distant past. Hateful memories that I wished would disappear entirely…
‘─ Hmph. Don’t make me laugh. You’re asking me if I ever loved you, a man that sells his body, as a son?’
‘!!’
‘If you want to be loved, then you might as well just die by yourself like this, Lilius.’
That day. Seven years ago, in that moment.
The heat of the knife thrust into my heart, the pain, the hatred.
I never forgot it until the moment my heart stopped beating.
“──I see, am I already dead?”
OMfG, how much more must Lilius suffer?! Is this author a sadist?! Still thank you for the chapter, I bet it wasn’t easy to translate.
Yep, nah, not reading that part. Hell nah!
Thank you for the update <3