Author: aji (あじ)
Translator: sleepingjay
Warnings: Very slight NSFW. Dub-con. Mentions of past trauma
“Jill, just sit back and shut up.”
“What are you—”
“First time caught by a binding spell? I’ve sealed your magic too, so struggling is pointless.”
Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought to use magic-sealing in this kind of situation, but it couldn’t be helped.
After all, it was obvious Jill would repel any restraining spells I might cast on him.
As Jill was unable to move in his seat, I pushed apart his knees. Sitting down between his legs, I unbuckled his belt and undid the zip. When I was about to touch Jill, an angry voice bore down on me.
“Please stop. If you push it, I’m really going to get angry.”
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
“Why? You said it yourself, you’ll help out if I want my needs met. Now that you’ve said it, you should sit there and be obedient.”
“Oliler!”
“…..Lfs, Alii. Tbe rjs la’r yfmjerf sbe’gf kbgglfv jybea wf, yea P’w rajgalcu ab atlcx la’r pera yfmjerf sbe offi yjv jybea la.”
“Qtja jgf sbe ajixlcu jybea?”
“Gbfr la offi yjv, islcu lc jcbatfg wjc’r jgwr? Tbe vbc’a kjca ab tbiv wf, gluta? Zf, atf xlcu’r qfa. Ktf yjcvlar’ rfz rijnf.”
“—……do you really think that’s what I think?”
“Aa. I can’t see your heart, after all. The only thing I can see is what’s in front of my eyes.”
“……”
A cynical laugh spilled out.
I believed in Jill. Of course I believed in Jill. But how could I not feel confused?
No matter how much I was cared for, no matter what was said to me, I could never get rid of that niggling feeling that there was something , something else hidden underneath it all.
That habit wasn’t something I could fix in a day or two. That was why I wanted—needed—to feel Jill by my side. But he kept not touching me.
“I’m telling you that if you really want to take care of me, you’re going about it the wrong way. I’ve been insecure for a long time, you know that. So why won’t you hold me?”
“……”
“……This is why the kids, even Seth and the others, call you useless. If you want to take care of me, don’t make me feel anxious.”
Lying to me to protect me? Fine.
Locking me in a room to keep me away from danger? Fine, whatever.
Even if he had other reasons for putting me under house arrest, I didn’t care.
I just—there was so much of my past that I wanted to leave, to erase. But I had no way of running away from them, no way to stop them from seeing the light of day. That was why I eyed Jill’s every move.
I was scared. Why did Jill stop touching me? Was it because I was unclean? Was it because he found something else about my past, something even I didn’t know?
So. When Jill touched me, I felt relieved.
It’s alright, every touch said. He doesn’t hate me yet. It was alright for me to stay by his side.
But at the same time, I hated myself for being so pathetic that I could only get peace of mind from such things.
“—Say you like me. Embrace me and say it all night long, then I’ll believe anything you say, no matter what lies I’ve noticed.”
“Lilius, I just—”
“It’s fine. Now, if you like me, just stay still.”
With that, I kissed Jill on the mouth.
With a thumb, I pushed into his mouth and forced it open, then put my tongue in. Jill’s mouth should have been warm, but for some reason, it felt unbearably cold.
TN: not the actual sex yet… sorry, i’m down with a cold so it’ll be next week
Wow, forcing the matter is never the right choice and I think Lilius will learn it the hard way yet again. But at the same time Jill also needs to chill. I can see the angst coming and it might get ugly.
Thank you for the chapter!!! I hope your cold gets better soon!
thanks for the chapter <3