Translator: White Lotus
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Soon after their summer vacation started, Koyama invited Hira to watch a stage play with him. It appeared to be a play by the theatrical group that Koyama’s brother helped out with, and since it was all unofficial productions with mainly graduate students, it was hard to attract an audience, so Koyama was pulled along to assist them in gathering audiences.
“My brother begged me to come. I’m sorry I dragged you along with me.”
“That’s fine. I’m looking forward to it too”
If no one had invited him, Hira probably wouldn’t have had an opportunity to see any stage play. Moreover, the arrangement after the stage play was more important to Hira than the stage play itself. The stage play would end in the evening, and afterwards they had agreed to eat dinner at Koyama’s place. The arrangement was no different from usual, but today was a special day.
“Is it okay to have dinner at your house today?” While riding the train on the way there, Hira asked Koyama again. “It’s rare for you to celebrate your birthday, so let me treat you to dinner if you want us to go out to dine.”
“No, it’s more relaxing to eat at home.” Leaning against the tram door, Koyama smiled. Hira had no choice but to give up.
Today was Koyama’s birthday. Hira was unaware of it when Koyama invited him to the stage play, but only after he heard the club members talking about it did he realize that it was Koyama’s birthday. When Hira questioned why he hadn’t told him, Koyama smiled shyly and answered, “Haha, I don’t know why; I just didn’t want to say it.” At that time, Hira felt that he had to make up his mind.
Even though he and Koyama continued to be good friends, Hira was aware that Koyama’s feelings for him were not those of friendship. Koyama definitely never tried to impose his feelings on Hira; rather, he chose to remain next to him while giving off a faint hint of liking.
If he were someone who was truly impossible to deal with, Hira would have no hesitation, but he felt troubled by the fact that this wasn’t the case. He got along well with Koyama. And gradually he started to realize that, in the face of Koyama’s sincere feelings, Hira ought to respond to him appropriately.
As if he were being pushed from behind, a few days ago Hira went to buy a birthday gift for Koyama. It was the first time for him to give someone a present, and after much hesitation, he chose a camera strap. This camera strap was made of good-quality nubuck leather; the longer you used it, the more it would show its merits, so much so that Hira wanted to buy one for himself as well.
After dinner, Hira was thinking of giving Koyama the present and confessing to him that he would go out with him. He experienced the sensation of being placed on a conveyor belt at a factory. There was nothing that needed to be done, and the product would gradually be transformed into a state that would be ready for shipping. Hira wondered what kind of facial expression he would make while confessing to Koyama. It could probably be a terribly funny expression, or it could be a surprisingly normal one. Either way, Hira found it strange because he felt as though it was something that had nothing to do with him.
——Is that what love is like?
It was completely different from how he felt about Kiyoi, who seemed to mercilessly rob him of everything without regard for his convenience.
He might be wrong, though.
Perhaps he was trying to use Koyama to escape his obsession with Kiyoi.
Hira wondered what other people did in this kind of situation. He questioned whether they continued to live alone, thinking about the person they could never reach. Did they not suddenly feel swayed by the person next to them? Or was Hira the only one who was weak? If there was an undistorted and correct answer, he hoped someone could tell him.
Although it was a stage play, the venue for this stage play was a regular coffee shop. The interior was also quite ordinary, similar to the cafes you see everywhere, except that it was crammed with chairs, making it difficult to discern that it was open for business.
“The entire cafeteria is a stage. This time, the audience will watch a stage play while being on stage.” Koyama said while looking at the leaflet he received. “There’re also some seats called interactive seats. If you sit in those seats, the actors will come and interact with you.”
“Absolutely not.”
It would be better to return home than to face this kind of situation. “I know, right?” Koyama grinned and then pulled Hira to sit in the other seats. When the waiter came to take the order as usual, Hira ordered coffee while wondering if it was okay.
“What a weird play.”
“Yeah. Looks like fun. I like this sort of play.”
While they were drinking coffee and chatting, the sound of staff squabbling suddenly came from behind the counter, startling Hira and the others. It was the waiter who had just brought the coffee and the shop manager who were arguing.
“Is something wrong?”
Hira questioned Koyama in a hushed voice. With bated breath, the audience inside the store watched as the situation unfolded.
“……Hey, those people, aren’t they actors?”
After hearing this, everyone finally came back to their senses. So the stage play had already started, or rather, it could be said that the show had already started before the curtain-raising ceremony had even been carried out. It was like being in a coffee shop and suddenly hearing the sound of the neighboring table arguing, and the situation was so realistic that you couldn’t help but listen to it with your ears perked up.
Just as the audience was fully immersed in the play, a customer walked into the shop as the wind chimes sounded at the front door, sat down at the counter, and ordered coffee. The waiter and the shop manager, who were arguing, hurriedly shut up. Of course, the person who entered was also an actor playing the role of a customer——
“Hira, that person.”
Koyama struck up a conversation with Hira in a whisper.
“That boy, I’ve seen him in a commercial.”
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
“Eh, a famous youngster?”
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His heart was thumping so intensely that it seemed like it was about to explode. His hands, which were resting on his knees, were trembling slightly as well. His face, ears, and neck were all burning. Ah, what should he do? Hira wondered. Like a violent storm, his emotions surged up from the bottom of his heart.
——Kiyoi.
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The actors got up from their counter stools and began to walk around the shop while they performed. They started improvising and interacting with the audience in the interactive seats. Just as the play was getting more and more exciting, Kiyoi headed in his direction.
He walked past Hira while saying his lines, and suddenly, Hira felt as though he had just made eye contact with Kiyoi.
In that single moment, it seemed as though everything was blown away.
He was able to make friends as well as seniors who could tolerate his dysphemia. He was able to come across someone who liked him more than just a friend. For ordinary people, it had little significance; however, for him, it was something extremely valuable that was really difficult to obtain. And now, with ease, all of these things were blown away, leaving Hira with nothing to do but watch helplessly.
Like a storm, Kiyoi took away all the fruits that had required a lot of effort to bear.
It was pathetic. And yet there was so much joy that he didn’t know what to do.
“――Hira.”
Someone shook his shoulder, and Hira snapped back to his senses, then turned his head to face the person.
“Halfway through, you just seemed like you were absent-minded, but are you okay? Your face is red. Do you have a fever?”
“Ah, sorry, I’m fine. I just got caught up in watching.”
The consciousness that was taken away by Kiyoi gradually came back.
After the play was over, Hira turned his attention to the bustling shop. The actors who would normally return to the dressing room after the play were still in the shop, some serving the customers and some chatting with their acquaintances.
Hira abruptly lowered his head. Because of the suddenness of the incident that made him wonder what was going on, now that he looked back, he remembered that he wasn’t supposed to be here.
——Then, see you.
The back of Kiyoi appeared to be urging him not to chase him anymore. What if he misunderstood that Hira had come to see the play after deliberately investigating? Hira wondered. He needed to return quickly before Kiyoi noticed him. As soon as possible. Just as Hira stood up,
“Kazuki.”
Two men came over to talk to Koyama.
“Ah, brother. Satou-san, good job! Today’s performance was fascinating due to its unique production.”
“That’s great. The production was what the research students thought of, so I’ll pass the words on to them.”
At this point, Koyama’s older brother turned to Hira and greeted him.
“Let me introduce him to you. This is my friend, Hira-kun. We’re classmates at university as well as members of the same club. Hira, this is my brother and his friend, Satou-san. Satou-san is a freelance writer who is involved in playwriting, and he also writes articles for the free magazine of this theater group.”
“Nice to meet you, I’m Kazuki’s older brother. Thank you for looking after my little brother.”
“Ah, don’t mention it. Nice to meet you too.”
Hira bowed his head nervously. Satou also took out his business card and handed it to Hira. This was the first time Hira had received a business card, and while he was gazing at it curiously, Satou asked Koyama, “So, this guy is the one you frequently mention?”
――frequently mention?
As Hira had a suspicious expression on his face, Koyama hurriedly stopped him, saying, “Let’s not talk about it now.” Satou looked at Hira with a smirk. He seemed to know the delicate relationship between him and Koyama, so Hira couldn’t help but feel a little uneasy.
“Ah, come to think of it, Kiyoi Sou participated in the play. I didn’t see his name on the list of performers, so I was surprised when I saw him come out.”
To change the subject, Koyama suddenly mentioned that name.
“Yeah, right. The organizer and Kiyoi-kun know each other, and this time he’s performing as a special guest. If it had been announced beforehand, there would have been a lot of young girls flocking to the show, so we decided to make him a surprise guest.”
“I see. He also acted in commercials, and it seems like he’s gradually becoming popular. Hira is also a huge fan of Kiyoi-kun.”
As the topic suddenly turned to him, Hira wasn’t able to react for a while.
“Eh, is that so? Then let me introduce you to each other. Hey, Kiyoi-kun.”
Before Hira could stop him, Satou called out to Kiyoi loudly, and Kiyoi, who was talking to someone else inside the shop, looked over. At Satou’s beckoning, Kiyoi came over. Hira got panicky and could only keep his head down.
“Kiyoi-kun, you did a good job. And thank you for the drinking party the other day.”
Satou greeted Kiyoi with familiarity.
“I enjoyed myself, too. Please invite me again next time. How was I today?”
“Very gorgeous and excellent.”
“Don’t you have any comments about my acting?”
“Well, take your time with that.”
As Kiyoi frowned, the small group of people broke out in laughter, and Hira, on the other hand, kept his head down, desperately hoping to disappear from this place. Hira silently begged for the situation to end quickly.
“Kiyoi-kun, this boy, he’s a fan of yours.”
Following Satou’s introduction, Hira’s heart tightened all of a sudden.
“Male fans of the same generation are precious. Hurry up, Kiyoi-kun, and give good fan service.”
Hira prayed in his heart that Satou, who was urging Kiyoi, would stop.
“Yo, long time no see.”
After Kiyoi spoke up, a strange pause ensued among the small group of people there. When Hira raised his head gingerly, his eyes met Kiyoi’s. In an instant, Hira’s heart was pierced by those perfectly, beautifully shaped eyes, which were identical to those in his memory.
“Kiyoi-kun, are you acquainted with him?”
“We went to the same high school.”
When Kiyoi answered indifferently, Satou and Koyama’s older brothers turned their heads to look at him in disbelief, “Huh?”
“Hey, Kiyoi-kun, what’s going on? You should have said so earlier!”
“I’m Sorry, I was just teasing you.”
Kiyoi and Koyama’s older brother were whispering something. While Hira just stood there in a daze, not knowing exactly what they were talking about, Kiyoi suddenly turned to look at him.
“How are you?”
Hira was startled. Kiyoi had struck up a conversation with him. Just a short sentence. It was enough to make Hira go crazy, as though something nostalgic had come rushing to him from afar with tremendous force.
“G-G-G-G-Goo..”
Good. That was the only word that stuck in Hira’s throat. As Hira was engulfed with the sense of shame that he had long forgotten about and wished to disappear, Kiyoi looked at him coldly and spat out a word.
“Gross.”
Everyone except Hira was startled. Koyama’s older brother said hesitantly.
“Kiyoi-kun, he has dysphemia――”
“Ah, it-it-it-it’s fine.”
Hira hurriedly intervened. Kiyoi hadn’t changed at all. Hira was feeling so happy and nostalgic that he was on the verge of tears as he stared at Kiyoi with admiring eyes.
“Ah, I’m doing good. Kiyoi is amazing, too. I was surprised to see how hard you’re working.”
“Well, sort of.”
Kiyoi slightly raised his chin and looked at Hira with a faint smile on his lips. Kiyoi’s characteristically cold smile made Hira’s peaceful university life of the past few months evaporate into thin air like a dream. He was once again reminded of what he had always known- that he should be on this side of the world.
“We’re having an afterparty; are you coming?”
It was an unexpected invitation. But Hira didn’t hesitate for even a second.
“Yes!”
“I see. Where is it?”
Just as Kiyoi was looking around, a staff member called out to Kiyoi and Koyama’s elder brother.
“Ask someone about the place.”
With an expression of annoyance on his face, Kiyoi turned around and left, followed by Koyama’s older brother and Satou, who hastily said “See you later” and left as well. Even though Kiyoi disappeared from sight, Hira was not able to immediately return to his senses.
“So you guys are friends.”
Hearing Koyama’s words, Hira turned his head to look at him. He had completely forgotten about Koyama’s existence.
“If you knew him, you should have said so from the beginning.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t have a chance to say it.”
“There were plenty of opportunities, right?”
“……Sorry.”
Koyama didn’t respond. A terribly awkward atmosphere prevailed.
“What about tonight?”
“The afterparty?”
After Hira asked that, Koyama looked a little annoyed.
“Didn’t you agree to come to my house?”
Hira realized his stupidity once again.
“Ah, I’m sorry.”
“If you want to apologize, go apologize to Kiyoi-kun.”
Koyama’s implication was that he should go and decline Kiyoi’s invitation. That was natural. As it was Koyama’s birthday today, they had made an appointment from the beginning, and Hira still had a present for Koyama in his bag. He still carried the words of confession that he intended to say to Koyama in his heart. Nevertheless, all of that had now been blown to pieces, leaving only Kiyoi to completely occupy the place in Hira’s heart.
“If you want to decline, you have to do it soon, or they will reserve your seat for you.”
After being urged tactfully, Hira mumbled, “…..Hmm,” and walked in the direction of Kiyoi. Hira felt like a prisoner being escorted to the execution ground.
Although Hira walked over to him, he really didn’t dare to talk to Kiyoi, who was surrounded by a circle of people, and just as he was standing at a slight distance, not knowing what to do, suddenly Kiyoi looked at him.
“What is it?”
Kiyoi’s expression carried a clear impatience.
“Uh, about the afterparty――”
“Satou-san knows about the place, so just ask him.”
“It’s not that. I have some plans tonight.”
Kiyoi tilted his head.
“That’s why I can’t come to the afterparty……”
In an instant, Kiyoi’s gaze sharpened.
――It’s a lie, I’ll come, even if I’ve to crawl, I’ll come.
Hira wanted to fall at Kiyoi’s feet right away. However, not far away, Koyama was watching. As Hira froze in place, breaking out in a cold sweat, Kiyoi’s expression suddenly eased.
“I don’t care if you come or not.”
With a look of extreme annoyance, Kiyoi returned to the circle of people.
Hira stood there like a fool.
Ah, yes, that was correct; Hira could feel his anxiety dissipating all of a sudden.
Whether he was there or not meant nothing to Kiyoi at all. Coming to specifically tell Kiyoi he wasn’t going, Hira once again felt like a fool. It had been a long time since Hira had felt so stupid, but Kiyoi had always made it easy for him to notice his own stupidity.
That night, Hira was absent-minded, and even though it was Koyama’s birthday, he couldn’t feel the slightest bit of excitement. He gave him the present, but he didn’t say anything to confess. There was no way he could do it.
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Translator’s Note: On this joyous day of Eid-ul-Fitr, I wish you and your family a very happy Eid. May Allah accept all your prayers and bless you with good health, happiness, and success in all your endeavors. Eid Mubarak to you all ❤️
Oh, thank yo so much for the chapter! 😍
Оh, Hira, Hira, poor thing. No chances, Koyama, sorry.
Thanks for reading ❤️
Eid Mubarak to you and your family 🤍
❤️❤️
Ahhh this poor kiddo, he he should have just gone. It’s what he really wanted.
Thanks for the chapter!!
Thanks for reading ❤️
Thank you very much for your hard work!! I really love this novel and drama🤧💙 but can i ask you how many chapters in the novel?
It has 3 main chapters & 2 bonus chapters.
Thanks for reading ❤️
And every main chapter has 10 part?
No dear, It actually depends on the length of the chapter. I split one chapter into parts.
Ohhh i see… thanks ^-^
Thank you so much for your hardworking 😍❤️