After Getting Gayified, I Swore Off Parody MashupsCh4 - Acting in a crispy duck BL with my archenemy

048

When the words left my mouth, I immediately realised something amiss. t8KQCS

Clever and quick-witted me have at once seen through the purpose of those evildoers; they’re going to silence me with death.

I unflinchingly looked death in the face. I leaned forward, my gaze traversing the table, eyeing Jiang Ran.

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He had one leg crossed over the other. He was wearing shiny leather shoes, and two black and fluffy tube socks were exposed under the legs of his pants.

This ancient fashion sense… exposed the ascetic aura of this fossilised young man. TvXaVW

But the key point is, he isn’t a smidge panicked!

From my many years of experience as an author, either he’s an accomplice, or there’s a mechanism under the table.

But I’m still panicky. Even more panicky than in Onmyoji when that 2-metre tall supermodel, Huang, despite emptying out the 8 soul fires that I traded health of my Tong’zi for, gave me zilch dmg output.

[t/n. Panicky, Ticklish Mouse, Huang, Tong’zi.]

I recalled that a Huawei mobile phone could call the police by pressing the lock screen button five times in a row. I gripped my phone with a grand sense of justice.

  kiADly

049

As if reading my thoughts, the middle-aged man passed me his ID and work permit. “Mr. Mo, we are professional HR who have been through proper training.”

I took the documents and checked them over again, then heard him say, “We understand that you’ve previously played roles as a guest actor. We have watched the relevant clips. Mr. Mo, you have good acting technique and exquisite facial features. It’s really wasted for you to be a backstage screenwriter.”

The so-called guest acting was in roles that had lines with the lead actors. Put bluntly, it was acting as an extra. MdnpHK

Hearing his polite tone, half believing and half doubtful, I skeptically put my guard down.

 

050

After making sure that there was no misunderstanding between us, the middle-aged man gave me the contract and even pointed to the young man seated at the side, saying that he would be my agent from now on. AFBtYi

I pinched myself, confirming that this really wasn’t a dream.

“Actually, I still want to be a screenwriter.” I stared at the contract, saying with utmost sincerity.

Chrysanthemum Garden.

His gaze sharpened. He was all smiles. “That’s a pity. I’ll be upfront with you, as long as you sign on, we can help you get the role for the second male lead in Pisces.”

We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.

“Qtja?!” P rtba eq ogbw ws rfja. Xa36MT

Cr lo qegqbrfoeiis vluulcu la lc, tf fnfc jvvfv jcbatfg ilcf, “Tbe’gf j wjc, rb sbe qgbyjyis tjnfc’a tfjgv bo tbk qbqeijg atlr kfy cbnfi lr, yea la’r j ylu PU atja vbwlcjafr atf mtjgar obg atf ofwjif wjgxfa.”

Vmgfk sbe! Rfnfg tfjgv bo la, sbeg jrr!

That is laozi’s most famous novel.

So now— MU94hJ

Laozi has to act in a crispy duck BL that I personally wrote with this archenemy who had cost me my job several times??

Oh shete…

 

051 hLGMow

I recalled the titillating content in a few scenes, then looked at Jiang Ran’s superb facial features. My face instantly turned beet red.

The point is, I’m supposed to play the effing shou! The one that goes ah, ah, ah!

My son, I was wrong. I shouldn’t have let you overindulge so much.

[your father is weeping.jpg] 5SW3MQ

 

052

Sign… sign, my ass!

I slapped the table and shot up in anger, my voice unwavering. “I want to be a screenwriter!” m5QvTq

I’m going to fuck Jiang Ran up, fuck him to death.

 

Story translated by Chrysanthemum Garden.

053

Jiang Ran had stayed silent throughout. Upon hearing this, his gaze flickered up. He tepidly said, “But we don’t lack outstanding screenwriters.” Y OBGA

Meaning being, if you don’t want to be an actor, scram.

My heart crumbled into ashes.

I don’t know if these people had something for my face or something for me…

Ahem. j5hJtm

“But if you insist on being a screenwriter, we can bend the rules and let you participate in adapting this web novel,” the middle-aged man supplemented.

“Really?” I immediately felt like a bright new vista had bloomed across the horizon, bolting up from my seat again in my excitement.

A cordial smile hung off Jiang Ran’s lips. He gently nodded. “Mm.”

At this slight smile, my heart suddenly thumped. Iv6T87

Although, this smile only lasted for that fleeting moment before returning to aloofness.

Somehow, I keep feeling that something somewhere is not quite right.

 

054 rkg9dt

But being a homebody isn’t a viable long term plan. Since there is a genuine job placed on a platter before me…

Of course I’ll take it!

He who hesitates is lost!

After signing the contract and heading home, my editor gave me another call. lIUVTA

I heard her say with great excitement, “Ji’er, the second male lead has been decided. He has the exact same family name and first name as you; what are the odds, don’t you think?”

Coincidental, very coincidental.

Chrysanthemum Garden.

I secretly critiqued, ‘As an editor, why don’t you have the acumen to detect dogblood drama?’

“That person is me,” I said, breezily. n8dqaV

“???” My editor was stupefied. “I only just sent your details over, how did you sign on as an actor?”

“A screenwriter who doesn’t try their hand at acting isn’t a good screenwriter,” I proclaimed righteously.

“Wait, back up. You’re signing on as a screenwriter too?”

Hearing her fluster, I even felt quite satisfied. EdA6c8

That’s right. I’m the original author, the screenwriter, and one of the lead actors. One person doing three jobs, I’ll soon be rich! Walk my way up to the pinnacle of life! Marry the wife of every man’s dreams!

[attract rich waifu.jpg]

“But we’re scheduled for a meeting at Prosperity Hotel at 8 p.m. this Saturday. Which identity are you planning to come in?”

That was a good question. PVp34l

I entered a deep and serious contemplation.

How can I possibly tell anyone that I’m a crispy duck writer??

My image will be completely gone.

Ofc I’ll choose to keep my little vest tightly covered! 7Mi2h3

 

055

As scheduled, I met the investors, the director, etc.

The atmosphere in the private room of the hotel restaurant was queer. It was like a KTV and the lighting was dim. gCVvJ

It made me feel that I wasn’t here to discuss the contract, but something else.

Jiang Ran saw me. He glanced at me askew, then sat by my side.

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Suit, vest, white dress shirt, sleeve garter.

…this man is oozing sex appeal. TzoINO

 

056

After chatting for some time, the director heard about my contract and got curious, asking me for the reason why I insisted on being the screenwriter for this drama.

I originally didn’t want to answer. pZsGa5

“I’m also very curious. Mo Shuyao seems to have very strong feelings for this drama,” Jiang Ran added languidly from the sidelines.

“……” Awkward is me.

I mulled it over a long time, then announced with righteous conviction, “Because I know the original author, so I can carve out the essence of this web novel.”

After saying this, I spammed myself a chain of smoooooth in my head. rNUyWP

Little did I expect that Jiang Ran would huff out a laugh hearing this, twisting the lid off his thermos.

I smelled the dense reek of Chinese herbs.

“……”

Righttttt. I forgot to mention one thing. I’m going to chop off the emotional line of the novel. MZqBxd

Laozi is a straight male! So what if I’ve written a few crispy ducks? That doesn’t mean that when I meet a top specimen male protagonist with peak level attractiveness, I’ll turn as bent as a mosquito coil.

Most, definitely, not!

Translator's Note

Huang, 慌; wordplay on the name of the supermodel – Huang, 荒.

Translator's Note

痒痒鼠/阴阳师/Onmyoji; popular gacha game. Author actually called it by this nickname, which came about cause it’s typed a similar way into the pinyin keyboard: YYS. Sentence flow was a little jarring w it to me tho so kept it out, esp since it wouldn’t make sense without context anyway.

Translator's Note

L4qzYP

Susabi; for 荒’s ult, there’s a special note that says for every extra soul fire present, he can continue to deal more damage. 8 soul fires is the max players can accumulate. So, by right, the dmg output of MC’s Huang should’ve been quite high, but it kindof flopped.

Translator's Note

Zashiki; 座敷童子 provides flames for using skills. Her skill is she deducts her life % to make flames.

Translator's Note

Boy’s Love (BL). 脆皮鸭, pinyin keyboard friends w cpy i.e. 插屁眼

Translator's Note

你爹落泪表情包图片- 求表情网,斗图从此不求人!

Translator's Note

Translator's Note

slang for sockpuppet.

Leave a Comment

20 comments

  1. Reading this chapter feels like watching an animal walk into a trap. The kind that’s just a box propped up with a stick 😅

  2. Why is the editor also dumb.

    What am I reading?

    Why am I still reading this?

    Can someone explain it to me?

    Help

  3. This is so entertaining. I ended up not commenting on the previous chapters because i didn’t realize i just kept on reading. Im so engrossed in this

  4. Lol. Hes kinda crazy. Also wow i didnt know that about my phone.. I can confirm it’s true. Called emergency services haha