Heavenly WifeCh6.1 - It’s Fucking Ridiculous (1)

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Feng Yang was born into nobility, but his life was not without suffering. His mother had been a very strict person. 

When he was very young, she taught him how to master spells. Every time he did something wrong, he would be punished by a whipping, done in order to hone his mind; not that she had been intentionally trying to create difficulties for the young Feng Yang. 

Story translated by Chrysanthemum Garden.

In addition, he had to spend more than 180 days suffering in the Xuanbing prison before he descended to the mortal world. So, their condition right now, in Little Feng Yang’s dilapidated house, was alright. It wasn’t too hard for him to sleep on the bed at night. Although he would feel cold and damp, he could still bear it. 

Of course, that didn’t mean he would accept such a living situation for too long. t7oeus

Grandmother Feng had also known that the house could be demolished at any time, so the rent was paid once every three months rather than once a year. 

Also, she had already spoken with the landlord prior to their moving in, and they had agreed that if the house was to be demolished, he would refund the extra rent that was owed to them.

The landlord wasn’t a bad person. It was just a pity that Grandmother Feng hadn’t paid the rent for the next three months before she passed away.

Feng Yang calculated that he could stay in this yard for another seven days at most. Judging by the landlord’s normal habits, he would probably come to collect the rent for the next quarter in about three days. 

The rent here was 800 yuan a month, so the amount for a quarter was 2,400 yuan.

Two thousand and four hundred yuan was a large amount for Little Feng Yang, and it wasn’t a small amount for the current Feng Yang either.

Grandma Feng had known very early on that her physical condition was not good, so she had told Little Feng Yang where she had hidden all her money. She had also told him not to take care of her funeral arrangements. 

If one day she really left, she had asked him to just take the money, live in the school dormitory, and study well.  8ogt0p

But after her death, Little Feng Yang hadn’t listened to her, and had taken her body to the funeral parlor by car. He had gotten her cremated, just like other people did for their family members, bought an urn, and then saved her ashes. 

After finishing all this work, Grandmother Feng’s hard-earned money had basically been depleted, and now there was nothing left.

Now, with the ten yuan that was in Feng Yang’s WeChat account, plus the two five yuan bills that were in his pocket, he only had a total of twenty yuan on him. There was an additional six hundred yuan left in the bank passbook, but Feng Yang didn’t intend to use that money.

If it wasn’t for the fact that by doing bad things he would lose all the good karma he had accumulated so far, he could easily make hundreds of millions of yuan in minutes, but he wouldn’t do something like that. 3j0GeY

So the next day, Feng Yang took all the money he had on him and headed out. He bought two meat buns for four yuan, and spent two yuan to take the bus in the morning. 

We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.

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Qtfc la mjwf ab tlr ‘milclm’, tf vlvc’a cffv ab qgfqjgf jcsatlcu—cb wfvlmji reqqilfr bg obgaecf-afiilcu qgbqr—jtfjv bo alwf, pera tlr bkc qgfrfcmf kjr fcbeut. 

He and Hua Cheng then found a commercial street with lots of foot traffic and sat down on the sidewalk. s71NM3

Hua Cheng took advantage of the fact that no one was paying them any attention, flew to Feng Yang’s shoulder, and whispered, 

“Prince, do you think it’s alright here? Yesterday, didn’t you say that you wanted to find a place where the cicada eggs were plentiful?” 

Story translated by Chrysanthemum Garden.

As a parrot, it was hard for him to lower his voice because all of the noises that came from him were either shrieks or high-pitched sounds. So he needed to whisper in order to avoid attracting the attention of passersby.

“Didn’t you realize this already when we came here? There are cicada eggs everywhere in the city and they won’t run away. So it’s important to make money first. Go, shout loudly and say: fortune-telling, reading faces, reading names, at no charge!” wdcM2i

“I shout?!” Hua Cheng asked, confused.

“What? Should I shout?”

“Oh!” Hua Cheng moved two steps over to the side while still on his shoulder, raised his small neck, and shrieked, “Fortune-telling! Reading faces! Reading names! At no charge! Fortune-telling! Reading faces! Reading names! At no charge!”

Hua Cheng sounded just like a broken record, shouting the same words again and again. Because his voice was so crisp and unusual, many people soon came over to see him.  NiHnlV

Master will be proud of me, ah!

Thus Hua Cheng shouted even louder, “Fortune-telling! Reading faces! Reading names! At no charge! Come and see, come and see!”

A tall and sturdy ‘Bald Big Brother’ came over and scrutinized Feng Yang and Hua Cheng. “Little brother, your little bird can speak?”

Feng Yang actually felt in his heart that there was nothing wrong with what this Bald Big Brother had asked, but how could his spoken words sound so awkward to his ears?  X8dhcq

He smiled and replied, “Yes, Big Brother. Do you want to have your fortune told, or have your face or name read? There’ll be no charge. The first question, I’ll do it for free.”

“No, I don’t want to try those. By the way, are you looking to sell this little bird?”

Hua Cheng was so frightened that he plunged into Feng Yang’s coat and said, “Not for sale, no, no!”

Feng Yang smiled. “As he said, he’s not for sale.” Z12HTJ

Seeing the parrot’s quick reaction to his words and his hasty reply, instead of being unhappy, the Bald Big Brother grew more interested in the bird. 

He had been worrying about what he could give his father for his 60th birthday. Well, he hadn’t even entered the shopping mall across the street, and yet, he had seen such a cute and foolish little parrot already!

Isn’t this what people call destiny? 

His old man actually liked to raise birds the most. If it wasn’t for the fact that he was ‘no good’ at choosing birds—one of a good breed that his father would actually like, he would surely have headed to the bird and flower market, instead of coming to the mall to buy a tea set.  OUdBx3

No need to think about a tea set anymore, this little bird is so good, his old man would be sure to like it!

At first glance, Feng Yang was particularly plainly dressed—simplicity was a great virtue to have, but to be honest, he just looked shabby and rustic. 

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The blue coat sleeve length was shorter than that of the shirt he was wearing inside, and its colour was noticeably washed out. The trousers were even more hard-to-miss, they had clearly shrunk to the style of the nine point trousers, and in addition, sported discolored patches here and there.

Admiration suddenly sprouted in the Bald Big Brother for the young man in front of him.  r7JiLg

At his age, when most youngsters were obsessed with wearing the best clothes and looking good, it was uncommon to meet a youngster who dressed like him and even dared to show up on such a crowded street in his state. 

What’s more, this young man’s temperament was neither timid nor cowardly. This made him feel uncertain about his chances of being able to buy the little bird.

So he pondered for a while and asked, “Um, Little brother, I’ll listen to any price you say. I really like your little bird and want to buy it. Can we talk about the price?”

“Big Brother, I can’t sell this bird. But, since you are so filial to your elders, I can give you some advice. Of course, it’s up to you whether you want to believe it or not.” XmO8Kb

The Bald Big Brother was really taken aback by his words. 

When did he tell this kid that he was going to be filial to his elders?!

“Little brother, when did I say that I want to honor my elders? Hahaha.” 

The Bald Big Brother masked the surprise on his face and said, “This bird is to my liking, and I want to raise it by myself. If you are willing to sell it to me, then that’s good. But, if you are not willing, then don’t make blind guesses about me, ah.” 7 zdFe

“Haha, Big Brother, you are so funny. When you were young, weren’t you beaten so heavily for lying that you almost ended up losing your hearing? Isn’t that a fond childhood memory for you?”

“You!” The Bald Big Brother couldn’t calm down after hearing this. 

When he was a kid, he once secretly took some rice from his family and traded it for an ice cream, and was nearly deafened by a beating from his second uncle!!!

At that time, he had said that the rice had been eaten by mice and not by him. However, his cousin had already seen him trading the rice from behind the door!  wuqABl

He had then gone and told on him!

Is it true that this young man is really a fortune-teller?

Since Feng Yang came out to read people’s fortunes and give them some advice on life, he didn’t want to return home empty-handed. He wanted to earn money, enough to buy some new clothes and food, and then return home feeling fulfilled.

To be honest, he didn’t care much about what people said about his appearance, as long as he was wearing something comfortable. However, the problem was that he wasn’t comfortable in his current clothes at all! I7JBPb

He had become accustomed to wearing a wide-sleeved robe in the immortal realm, and those loose fitting clothes had felt very comfortable. 

But now, the things he was wearing didn’t fit him at all. It felt like too much meat had been crammed into a sausage skin! Too tight!

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The Bald Big Brother hesitated slightly, but after deciding that ‘getting advice’ would not cost him much, he asked, “Alright, little brother, let me ask you, what’s your suggestion?”

“If I’m not wrong, you have six siblings in your family and you are the eldest. You do business locally while taking care of your elders. The rest of your siblings are busy and seldom come back home to visit.” b8aF95

“In fact, the elderly only wish for two things in their lives; good health and the company of their children and grandchildren. So my suggestion is, it’s better to let the elderly live a happy life with their children and grandchildren, instead of showering them with piles of money and precious gifts.” 

“No matter how beautiful the tea set you buy might be, what’s the point if they are not accompanied by their dear family members? Don’t you think so?“

The Bald Big Brother frowned as he replied, “You’re right. But I only have five siblings.”

Feng Yang patted his sleeves and said indifferently, “If you think that losing a sibling for a long period of time means that they are not worth remembering, then you have five.” yU5dEv

The Bald Big Brother immediately opened his mouth, but he really didn’t know what to say. 

This sixth sibling was his youngest sister who had gone missing when she was three years old! He hadn’t been able to find her for so many years, and this matter had always been a sore point for the whole family. 

Over the years, his other siblings had grown up very well and lived all over the country, and his family life was quite peaceful. 

Everything was good except for this matter—they had done their best to search for her everywhere, all over the country—but to no avail. G3 7xW

His mother had cried for so many years because of this incident, which had also caused her to develop an eye disease in both eyes. She couldn’t see clearly even to this day.

This…

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Please bear with our pace of release, also, we won’t split a chapter that isn’t deserve to be split, ehehe TSXgcl

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