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Holding Onto My ManChapter 30


Edited by Rush

There weren’t many people who possessed blue eyes in the great Kingdom of Chu. There might not even be one person in ten thousand. FcWJGw


At this moment, even though Gu Bai, who had the original host’s appearance, didn’t  have similar facial features to that person in Fu Junli’s heart, Fu Junli still couldn’t resist remembering that person from many years ago, because of that extraordinary pair of eyes. 

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Fu Junli was originally unhappy because he came back in the middle of the night to a noisy and messy situation, bearing an annoyed expression, but he became soft in nearly the blink of an eye when he saw Gu Bai. upSbAZ


He helped the gentle and soft Gu Bai get up, shielding him. He then turned his head, restoring his cold expression, and said to Master Fu:


“Father, what has happened, that there is such an uproar in the middle of the night?”



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Although he called him father, his tone did not hold any respect whatsoever, and instead sounded like he was interrogating, or rather, blaming the other man. At this moment, it could be seen who had the final say and called the shots in the Fu family, and Fu Junli had never put his father in his eyes from the start.


Fu Junli’s character was originally ice-cold and ruthless. His mother was someone who was angered to death by Master Fu. It would be strange for him to be amiable towards Master Fu. gy8O2e


Master Fu is incompetent. Nowadays, Fu Junli was the only reason the Fu family could continue to be rich. Master Fu wiped the beads of sweat from his forehead. He didn’t even dare to speak to his son, and could only make a signal with his eyes towards the three concubines by his side and have them explain.


When Gu Bai saw this, he quickly gave a meaningful glance to Du Haitang. Du Haitang immediately understood and ran over, rushing to speak before the other three concubines. d7uKeZ


“Eldest Young Master, save my family’s Yunxi, I beg you to bring justice to this concubine’s son!”


“What on earth happened?” 90TWjB


Although Fu Junli has never seen Gu Bai in these past years, he has still heard the name Yunxi. To think Yunxi was the youth currently in his arms, who had a pair of eyes similar to Lianzhi.


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Thinking of this, he looked down at Gu Bai and saw the expression of shame on the face of the youth. His blue eyes were red and glistening with tears, giving him an appearance that made people feel pity. Fu Junli frowned and knit his eyebrows. oM8PEi


“Eldest Young Master, family shames must not be spread abroad, but you are the one who manages the Fu family, and family matters should be decided by you. Today the Second Young Master invited my family’s Yunxi to Li Huayuan to drink and make friends. This was a good thing, but who knew that the second young master would hold homosexual intentions towards my Yunxi! My Yunxi didn’t obey, and jumped out of the window, breaking his leg. The second young master then engaged in that filthy affair and sustained injuries by himself. But now, he returned and is blaming my Yunxi, wuwu, begging Young Master to bring justice. Yunxi has to go take the preliminary imperial examinations. What can we do now that his leg is broken, ah. Furthermore, if this matter gets out, how will we be able to go out and appear in front of other people…”


Du Haitang finished speaking while crying, not even taking a breath in between words. She spared no pains or effort to complain. In any case, the third concubine was already offended, and this little bit wouldn’t change anything. i7Og p


“This slut is talking nonsense! It’s clear that he seduced my son!”

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The third concubine rushed to say. The Eldest Young Master was not Master Fu. Master Fu defended her son, but Fu Junli loathed her son a lot. 8F2Sx1


Sure enough, after Fu Junli finished listening, his face immediately cooled down, Gu Bai seeing this opportunity raised his head, his azure eyes exposing a look of humiliation and sorrow.


Fu Junli’s thoughts paused. He pulled Gu Bai closer before turning his gaze on the third concubine, coldly saying. uiGF4L


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     “Second brother has become more and more outrageous in recent years. The Dongcheng village just happens to be lacking someone in charge, tomorrow I’ll have younger brother go there and learn how to manage the village affairs. From now on, today’s matter will be dropped!”


Regarding this person who resembled Lianzhi, he could be lenient and somewhat protect him. y2OUHh


We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.

When he finished, he picked Gu Bai up in a princess carry and stormed out in a huff. The third concubine was left behind with a panicked face, standing in her original place, and suddenly started crying loudly..


Ktf nliijuf bo Gbcumtfcu lr j yjggfc, wbecajlcber qijmf. Po tfg rbc kfca atfgf, atfc rtf kjr jogjlv atja tf wluta cfnfg tjnf atf mtjcmf ab mbwf yjmx. Qlatbea tfg rbc, ktb klii reqqbga tfg lc atf oeaegf? qzUkdI


  Yc atf batfg rlvf, Me Aecil abbx Xe Djl jkjs. Lf vlv cba rfcv tlw yjmx ab atf mbega ktfgf tf ilnfv, yea ygbeuta tlw yjmx ab tlr gbbw jcv mjiifv bnfg j vbmabg ab fzjwlcf tlr ifur.


Fu Junli acted like a gentleman on the surface and seemed to be an exceptional young master. But in actuality, he, more than anyone, acted without reason and when he handled tasks, he did things completely by his own preference. For example, in the original plot, when he easily dug out the original host’s pair of eyes, one could see just how much of a sick bastard he is from that. 07eVMc


     Fu Junli now, once again, decided Du Yunxi’s fate.  No one dared to defy his orders, and no one dared even more to stop his conduct. Thus, Gu Bai obediently remained still when he brought him back.


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The doctor finished examining his leg, which had been dislocated , set it back into the right position, and bound it up well. After he left, Gu Bai bowed his head and whispered, “Many thanks to Elder Young Master’s just decision…” cjFuwY


  “No need to thank me, second brother’s conduct has been licentious. He needs to be taught a lesson.” Fu Junli said with a gentle expression. 


Seeing Gu Bai’s head was lowered, making him unable to see that pair of familiar and cherished eyes, he immediately knit his brows again, and reached out to lift the youth’s head up. Only when he saw the azure eyes again did his face show a gentle smile, and he continued. ypACzw


“Why won’t you look at me when you’re speaking?”

Story translated by Chrysanthemum Garden.


     Gu Bai resisted the desire to get away from him with great difficulty and quietly said, “When I first entered the residence, the housekeeper said that the first and foremost  rule after entering the residence is that one is not allowed to lift one’s head and look at Eldest Young Master…” Ust8ec


Fu Junli paused, remembering this rule he had made, and was inexplicably annoyed for a moment.  The fact that he only discovered this youth’s eyes today, turns out it was because of this rule.


“This rule only applies to others. You don’t have to follow it in the future. You have to look up at me when you speak…” e2WxE0


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He turned Gu Bai’s face squarely towards him and stiffly made this request.


Gu Bai was very cooperative and immediately raised his head and, using those beautiful eyes to look towards him, nodded obediently. 7BPGvp


Fu Junli was fond of this well behaved appearance, and he immediately bowed his head and kissed his eyes, praising, “Your eyes are very pretty…”


     “…” BAdkWQ


Gu Bai did not speak, his eyes showing some panic and his uncertainty of what he should do, like a lovable little bunny. Fu Junli’s heart went soft upon seeing this.


The well-behaved youth in front of him reminded him of the scene he saw when he first saw that person many years ago. At that time, the youth also exposed a panicked and overwhelmed expression. Those azure colored eyes were so beautiful, he was such an enchanting person. EPsX2Q


He couldn’t help but overlap the figure in his head with the Gu Bai in front of him. Because he was so close to Gu Bai, he suddenly smelled the scent of orchid incense on him, and could not help but inquire, “You have the fragrance of orchids on your body? Do you like orchids?”


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The corners of Gu Bai’s lips hooked up. Shallowly smiling, he nodded “En.” KYFC0n


“Why do you like orchids?” Fu Junli was somewhat moved.


Because you like it, ah. Because orchids emitted a type of secretive fragrance and gave off a noble and pure disposition, ah. Because your white lotus is your lofty and unsullied orchid, ah. This grandpa wants to get closer to you, even if you don’t like it you still have to like, ah!  gqILdS


Gu Bai secretly said this in his heart, but he smiled lightly on the surface. “Autumn orchids, ah, are so pure, the green leaves and purple stalks… in a field of beautiful flowers, it would standout ah, this kind of orchid, how could anyone not like…”

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When these words fell, Fu Junli only felt that things became a blur in front of him. He seemed to have seen the person in his heart whom he had already been thinking of for a long time. Suddenly he reached out and hugged Gu Bai, his chin pressing against his forehead, murmuring, “Lianzhi Lianzhi, I’ve finally found you…” Hx7WX8


Gu Bai did not speak, but the fists hidden under his sleeves clenched tightly without a word or movement. Only then was he able to endure and suppress the pain and resentment that suddenly arose from the pit of his stomach because of the original host.


………… 6Ag7tp


Story translated by Chrysanthemum Garden.

After this, Gu Bai stayed in Fu Junli’s court in order to treat his leg injury. Fu Junli, who rarely returned home in the past, began to return to the residence every day.


However, times where his emotions went out of control like that night, didn’t happen again, because apart from his eyes, the original host’s appearance wasn’t actually similar to Lianzhi. It was not something that could be easily confused. 6GLBW4


It was only that Fu Junli’s ice-cold face became softer when he saw Gu Bai’s eyes. It was as if he was looking for a hint of someone else in his eyes. It was very clear that the other party had already started treating him as a substitute for Lianzhi.


Although Gu Bai intended to deliberately imitate Lianzhi’s appearance to get close to Fu Junli, he didn’t want to continue to mimic him forever. This was just a method to get close to him. If he was just blindly imitating, he was afraid that Fu Junli’s feelings towards Lianzhi would become deeper and deeper, which was not beneficial to his task. 873dkZ


Therefore, what he needed to do after getting close is show off the special characteristics that belonged to Du Yunxi while he was imitating, and imperceptibly influence him to subtly plant a new seed in Fu Junli’s heart.


Then he will find a way to let this seed sprout and grow into a towering tree, covering up the brilliance of Lianzhi… qeNZW5


On this day, Fu Junli had time so he did not leave the residence. The sun was shining brightly, and he sent a person to arrange a table for his Guqin. He elegantly plucked the strings, while staring at the garden full of orchids, reminiscing on the past.


Story translated by Chrysanthemum Garden.

Gu Bai sat on the stone bench, both hands propping up his chin, his clear eyes staring at him. eZ15d8


“Do you know how to play the Guqin?” Feeling his gaze, Fu Junli turned his head and asked while smiling.


 “No…” Gu Bai shook his head sincerely. He knew how to do many of things, but he didn’t know how to play the Guqin. CWPqos


“Do you want to learn? I’ll teach you.”

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Even if the youth in front of him does not look like Lianzhi at all, that pair of similar eyes could always make his heart melt into a puddle. He remembered playing the Guqin together with that person before. YCVfPp


Unfortunately, Gu Bai shook his head and said, “I don’t want to learn…”


“Why?” Hud3lL


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  Fu Junli’s face became cold almost in an instant. The pleasant countenance he had towards Gu Bai was all based on his similarity with Lianzhi. 


Gu Bai saw through his emotions in one glance, and in his heart he shook his head and sighed. w42m3z


It wasn’t that he doesn’t like the Guqin, it was just that in the plot, because the original host accidentally touched the Guqin that was considered Lianzhi’s, Fu Junli punished him by pulling out all ten of his fingernails. Because of the psychological shadow left behind, he was unable to control this body’s aversion to learning the Guqin.


Dismissing this thought, he pulled a jade flute from his waist and waved it at him. His beautiful face showed a bright smile. oXr Eg


     “Although the sound of the Guqin is beautiful, I think the sound of the flute is even more interesting. I know how to play it, is Brother Junli willing to accompany Yunxi in performing a piece?’


That’s right, he addressed him using this effeminate way of “Brother Junli”. Who told that white lotus to address Fu Junli like this. Unfortunately, it was clear that that person liked this kind of behavior. K5SIJq


In an instant, the displeasure Fu Junli felt just now disappeared at this appellation.


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     Although he had some regrets that he couldn’t play the Guqin with Gu Bai. In the past, playing the Guqin when he was together with Lianzhi was their favorite form of entertainment. But Gu Bai calling him like that calmed his inner heart, and so, with reluctance he accepted it. Nodding his head, he agreed to his request for accompaniment.  z3KMF1


“Then I will start first…”


     Gu Bai smiled, then placed the jade flute lightly between his lips and blew. YXiDhM


Contrary to Fu Junli’s expectations, he did not choose an elegant and slow melody, but played a very cheerful and lighthearted piece of music, which was as lively as the splashing of a spring.

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     The reason why Gu Bai chose this piece was, naturally, to express the special traits of Du Yunxi through it. Fu Junli’s beloved Lianzhi liked elegant and emotional music the most, so he would choose music with an opposite style.  s25dei


His call of Brother Junli exposed another small similarity, and then he played a song that was not similar to him on a jade flute, these things contradicted one another, making Fu Junli feel conflicted. They were similar, but also not. Once this conflict has accumulated to a certain extent, Fu Junli would absolutely not use him as a substitute for Lianzhi, because they were two completely different people.


Fu Junli blanked for a period of time and did not catch up. Gu Bai did mind him, and continued to play. He knew how to play the jade flute, and also enjoyed playing the jade flute, because this was something Qin Shitian had taught him in the last world. 53Y9Fx


Story translated by Chrysanthemum Garden.

Qin Shitian was like the first world’s Nie Qingcang, they both liked cheerful and lively rhythms. In the first world, Nie Qingcang knew how to play the piano. In the second world, Qin Shitian played the jade flute. He didn’t know if the Ji Changyin this world would also like cheerful music or not.  No, he definitely would, because they were all the same person.


Thinking in this way, Gu Bai’s heart rose in happiness, and even the music he made was influenced, making it sound even sweeter and more cheerful. R03ujL


He narrowed his eyes, taking pleasure in the music. This kind of happiness influenced the mood of the people around him, and also influenced Fu Junli. He had not felt this kind of cheerful and relaxed feeling for a long time now.


In fact, he also liked the sound of the flute better than the Guqin. It was just that Lianzhi liked playing the Guqin, so he also began to like it. GIcVZw


When Gu Bai finally finished the flute song and opened his eyes, using those azure colored pupils to look towards him, Fu Junli felt a softness and tenderness he could not put into words in his heart.


Just as it seemed the two people would begin to overlap again, Gu Bai walked over, poked at a few of the Guqin’s strings, and then handed him the jade flute in his hand. He tilted his little head, his eyes curved, and he brightly smiled. mxCYR9


“Brother Junli, the preliminary rounds of the imperial examinations are coming soon, Yunxi still has not studied today, so he won’t chat with you today. You play some music and appreciate the flowers first, Yunxi will go read books now…”


Story translated by Chrysanthemum Garden.

After saying this, Gu Bai turned around and left, leaving behind a faint scent. I7ehz3


Fu Junli smelled it and he couldn’t help but knit his brows. The youth was not wearing the familiar orchid fragrance today. Apart from their azure eyes, he and Lianzhi were not alike at all.


This kind of realization made Fu Junli’s face turn cold. After a long time, he looked at the jade flute in his hand. He remembered the feeling of joy just now, and couldn’t help but soften his face. His flute has also been lying in dust for a long time now… CIxegA


FJL seems like a psychopath >.> Go GB! Get revenge for the original host and then go have fun times with JCY hehe

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P.S. Rush is a super great editor–show her some love~~~~~~~


Translator's Note

Guqin is a Chinese zither, played by plucking the strings~ Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gp73uccnOQ8

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  1. lollll calling himself a grandpa, after so many lives he really is just a sly old man!

    but its so sweet that he thinks about the past like that! even though he has a hard task, its so heartwarming to know the person you have loved for multiple lives is waiting for you

    thank you for your hard work ( ´ ▽ ` )ノ

  2. ML! Don’t worry, little Gu Bai is just trying to preserve his life! But that Junli still makes me feel disgusted!

    Thank you for the chapter!

  3. Thank you for the chapter!! I have been waiting forever! Thank you for the hard work!!! I hope to see the next chapter soon. I want see the ML react to the older brother.

  4. So, let him fall in love and then let him die?

    Well, one cucumber came, and got chopped!


  5. Hmmm .. Junli will definitely fall to Gu Bai, now I want to see ML jealous 😂

    Thank you for the chapter! ❤ ❤ ❤

  6. ML will be jealous~

    Thank you to our wonderful translator and editor for your hard work! 💕

  7. Great. Superb. Amazing. This piece of translation was so fulfilling- like eating an entire medium sized pizza all by myself. It was definitely worth the wait, and I am glad I kept this on my reading list even when peony dropped this.

    A very sincere and hearty thanks for picking this up.

  8. I sort of wish Lianzhi, that disgusting fake Lotus, gets his eyes gauged out this time, and that Jun Li is sonehow made to eat them, before getting forced to serve men with his mouth until he pukes, the sick evil psycho. I hate them both to death for the way they tortured and killed the original host. None of them deserves to be called human… Can’t wait to read about them getting their just desserts. I was losing hope I would ever get yo do so, so thanks you so mucho a million times for picking this one up!

  9. Thank you for the chapter update!!! I love this sassy but careful GuBai. 👍

    And a warm welcome to the new Editor-san, Rush! 💕💕💕💕

  10. Thank you for your hard work Translator-San, Editor-San~

  11. Thanks for all your hard work Rush! I’ve been an editor before, so I know how the time goes when you’re editing the same paragraph over and over again. 😅

    Thanks for the chapter! 😘

  12. Yay! A new chapter, a full one at that! Arigatō for translator-sama and thank you Editor-sama also!

  13. ‘Even if the youth in front of him does not look like Lianzhi at all..’

    While reading i skipped the word “look” and asked myself if Fu Junli knew of Gu Bai hate for Lianzhi.🤔

    Thanks for the chapter ♡

  14. Me encanta!! Gracias por tu excelente traducción y arduo trabajo!! 😍😍😍😘

  15. Thank you so much for picking this up ! I’ve been waiting so im very excited! You’re translation is really good!

  16. Thanks for this translation! It was great! And thanks for doing this story!

  17. Thank you so much for continuing the translation of this story! Your time and hard work is greatly appreciated.

  18. Not seems, Fu Junli is really a psychopath, who would dare to dug someone’s eyes whom they’ve interacted with for a few years just to please and give it to their own lover. This kind of love is scary, I’d rather not want it.

  19. Rereading and man FJL was such a psycho

    Also I probably mentioned this before already but flute and guqin reminds me of Wangxian lolol

  20. makes me think is he rlly a scholar? or did the author actually did her research? Qin (guqin) Qi (go) Shu (chinese calligraphy) Hua (painting) the four arts nevertheless guqin is most important which is consider gentlemen/scholar’s instrument. obviously the author didn’t do her research