During the 18 years of being friends, for about 12 or 13 years, there had never been a conversation like this with Yuwon. It was strangely absent; they hardly ever brought up topics related to relationships. There was always so much else to do, and spending time together was enjoyable enough on its own.
In other words, it was a first. Listening to Yuwon talk about his romantic experiences. But the fact that the person he was talking about was me… It didn’t feel real, yet at the same time, his heart recognized it as reality, and he felt like he might go crazy from happiness.
“Why was that? It’s not like it was the first time you asked about my feelings… But it felt like your concern for my feelings was the most important thing…”
“That’s right.”
“Huh?”
“Your feelings are the most important thing to me.”
Ah… again… Yuwon felt his heart soften with a gentle thud. It was strange to have “soften” and “thud” coexist, but that’s how he felt right now.
“I’m not just saying that to play around, I really mean it. It’s true for me. I don’t know when it started, but it’s been like that for a while. If you’re happy, I’m happy too, and if you’re not happy, neither am I. If you’re hurt, I’m upset, and if you smile, I want to smile too.”
“…Really?”
“Yeah.”
“…I’m happy.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
Hyun Gyujin smiled as he playfully echoed Yuwon’s words and saw a clear face confirming the same answer.
“I just thought that’s how it was when you were close friends. I thought everyone would be like that with a friend since we’ve been friends since birth. But apparently not.”
“…”
“I thought it was just teasing, but it’s true. So, when I thought about it, I realized I couldn’t do anything differently for you than I would for any other friend.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, like touching your face, always going to school together, going home together, and staying by your side all night when you’re sick.”
Hyun Gyujin, who had been gently stroking Yuwon’s wrist, raised his hand and lightly brushed Yuwon’s flushed cheek, smiling at the reddening face where his touch had trailed.
“Haven’t you ever thought about that?”
At Hyun Gyujin’s question, Yuwon pondered the actions he does to Hyun Gyujin. Although he doesn’t often touch his face or engage in such behaviors as Hyun Gyujin does to him, he does engage in more physical contact with Hyun Gyujin than with other friends. Holding arms, lying down with his head on Hyun Gyujin’s thigh without hesitation, naturally sharing the same bed, and even hugging from behind. Could he do those things with other friends? No, he couldn’t. He didn’t have the heart to, and doing such things felt very strange. The actions that had felt completely normal with Hyun Gyujin now felt absurdly out of place.
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
“Ktja’r gluta… P qgbyjyis mbeivc’a vb la klat batfg qfbqif.”
“Mbg fzjwqif, ktja?”
“Olxf tbivlcu tjcvr ilxf atlr, ublcu ab rmtbbi abufatfg fnfgs vjs… Po jcbatfg qfgrbc vlv atja, la kbeiv yf rmjgs jcv ecmbwobgajyif.”
“Vb vjwc rmjgs. Efwlcvr wf bo atja ues ktb erfv ab kjla klat oibkfgr. Fut, gfjiis jccbslcu.”
Just thinking about that idiot who claimed to love Yuwon and waited with flowers made him so angry he could die. Hyun Gyujin tried to calm himself down by taking a big scoop of cold ice cream..
“Don’t get mad. He knows we’re together now and doesn’t do that anymore.”
“He’s less annoying than before, but my gym clothes still disappear. Last time, the milk I left while drinking also disappeared.”
“Just be careful.”
“If you think like that, then you should go to school with me. Shouldn’t you try to avoid those things together?”
Hyun Gyujin shook Yuwon’s nose gently to distract him from feeling hurt, then let go and cupped Yuwon’s chin, meeting his eyes with a chubby face.
Yuwon, who had been looking at Hyun Gyujin with a slightly awkward expression, laughed softly enough to melt this shop down over the ice cream.
“I thought I shouldn’t break our friendship…”
“If you said you liked me, did you think I would have cursed at you?”
“…Yeah. I was afraid you might tell me to leave.”
“Wow, how much do you think poorly of me? Do you really think I would say something like that to you?”
“It’s just so surprising. It’s also unbelievable…”
Quickly, Hyun Gyujin’s head tilted along with Yuwon’s slightly drooped head. Familiar, playful, yet warm eyes caressed Yuwon’s face and soon began to stroke his hair. Yuwon quietly met that affectionate gaze.
“Were you very worried?”
“Yeah…”
“And scared?”
“Yeah. A lot.”
“It must have been hard to avoid me.”
Quietly nodding was cute and pitiful. Hyun Gyujin restrained himself from finding it adorable and wanting to stroke under Yuwon’s chin right away, gently pressing his fingertips to avoid hurting him.
“So, um… when I went to the stamp place and we met at the café, was that also because you were avoiding me and happened to be there?”
“Oh… yeah, that’s right. I was really surprised then.”
“And going to school early, was that to avoid going with me?”
“…Sorry…”
“Now I understand everything. It was strange. Doing homework at the academy early in the morning, in the evening, even on weekends. I’m relieved. It’s not because you disliked me.”
Yuwon, who had been lowering his gaze with a hint of apology, raised his head.
“What do you mean?”
“I thought it was one or the other. Either you really disliked me, or you liked me.”
“Why would I suddenly dislike you…”
“I thought I did something wrong and completely put you off.”
“I’m really sorry… for making you think like that… I didn’t expect that. I thought it was just casual. While I was trying to quickly sort out my feelings and return to normal… It didn’t work out well.”
Yuwon, who seemed a bit deflated and relieved as the situation cleared up, spoke quietly. Hyun Gyujin focused intently on Yuwon’s face and voice, even on the slightly tired Yuwon, whose energy seemed to diminish little by little.
“Still feeling unsettled?”
“Yeah… Honestly, I thought it would be quick once I made up my mind. We’ve been friends for 18 years, and it’s only been a few days since I felt weird… I thought going back to being just friends would be really easy.”
“But it was difficult?”
“So, so much. It was harder than a mock exam, harder than a level test at the academy…”
Oh, seriously? Harder than a mock exam, harder than a level test. The metaphor was so Yuwon-like that it made my head spin. Despite feeling sorry for the serious conversation, he couldn’t help but find it so cute that he wanted to playfully tease Yuwon all over. His fingertips were tingling with the urge.
“I see. So that’s why you suddenly lost weight, from all the mental stress.”
“I had no appetite, felt too lazy to eat, so I didn’t eat much.”
“Really?”
“Yeah…”
“Let’s eat a lot of delicious food now. We need to fill up what was lost. Look how thin your wrists have become. Let’s eat diligently.”
“Yeah, I’m fine now. The tonkatsu earlier was really delicious, and the waffle and churros were also tasty… I think my appetite’s back now.”
As Yuwon smiled proudly, their soft cheeks flushed. Oh, my heart. Hyun Gyujin leaned their head against Yuwon’s shoulder. As soon as they did, they felt Yuwon’s shoulder stiffen.
“S-Someone might see…”
“Who’s going to see? There’s no one around. And even if someone sees, so what? Just relax. Your shoulders are really tense.”
“…I don’t know how to relax.”
“Try to relax. Take a deep breath in… and exhale. Follow along. Take a deep breath in.”
Hyun Gyujin laughed as they listened to the sound of Yuwon inhaling next to them while still resting their head on Yuwon’s shoulder. Anyway, Jung Yuwon was seriously adorable.
“Okay, now exhale. Hoo.”
“Hoo….”
As they exhaled, the tension that had been building up in their shoulders eased slightly. Hyun Gyujin, who had been about to fall asleep just like that, glanced awkwardly at his hand resting on Yuwon’s thigh. Then he reached out and lightly flicked his slender fingers. Even with just a light touch, Yuwon’s shoulders flinched. It felt like he had been startled on a ride at an amusement park.
“……”
“……”
Just lightly flicking wasn’t satisfying enough, so this time he intertwined their fingers, feeling the tension return to Yuwon’s shoulders. Hyun Gyujin silently wrapped his fingers a bit tighter around Yuwon’s hand. It wasn’t the first time they held hands, but strangely, it felt uncomfortable to breathe. Was it because they weren’t just holding hands as friends? He wanted to try everything he had done with Yuwon so casually before.
As he playfully pulled on the intertwined fingers, Yuwon’s hesitant fingers also moved slowly. He willingly followed the movement pulling towards him, but then resisted slightly with more force, causing Yuwon’s fingers to exert a bit more pressure. With each tug and pull, their fingers brushed against each other, creating a tingling sensation.
“……”
After a while of playing with their fingers, Hyun Gyujin suddenly grabbed Yuwon’s hand and enclosed it in his own. All movement ceased, and Yuwon’s relatively small hand disappeared under Hyun Gyujin’s hand.
“What if someone sees us…”
“If they see, they see.”
Despite his worried tone, Hyun Gyujin smiled as he held Yuwon’s hand firmly in his, looking down at him. He leaned his face against Yuwon’s shoulder.
“Honestly, you are nervous holding my hand, hm? I’m too good-looking.”
