Fang Yu stopped.
He looked at Yang Lei, who had suddenly stopped fighting and was no longer moving. Looking at the brightening daylight outside illuminating Yang Lei’s face, Fang Yu’s sanity that had been blinded by anger and lust suddenly cooled down. He let go of the hand holding onto Yang Lei and lifted his body from his. He looked at Yang Lei with a somewhat lost expression.
“Yang Lei…”
Fang Yu called softly. Yang Lei didn’t speak and was expressionless.
Once Fang Yu’s mind was clear, he regretted his actions.
Before Fang Yu turned 20 years old, his impulsive and fiery personality had once caused him to do many things he later regretted. So after he turned 20, he swore never to be impulsive again, so he wouldn’t regret anything.
He kept abiding by this oath, and he did very well. Presently, Fang Yu had already become calm and experienced. He no longer regretted anything.
But that night, he regretted what he did.
He hadn’t been this impulsive in a long time. Once again, his impulsiveness caused him to feel remorse.
He straightened up and quietly pulled up Yang Lei’s shirt. Yang Lei remained silent.
“…I’m sorry…” Fang Yu roughly rubbed his face.
“…I don’t know what happened…”
Fang Yu really didn’t know. His emotions just now were a mess, even blank. He had already forgotten the last time he had been so agitated.
“I didn’t mean to force you like that… I really didn’t mean it like that!”
Fang Yu knit his brows tightly. He had never felt that he was this bad at talking. He didn’t know how he should express himself.
“…Yang Lei!”
Fang Yu cried dejectedly. He lowered his head, looking at Yang Lei with a complicated gaze.
“You know how I see you in my heart. If I really were to think of you like that, then what kind of person would I be? But…”
Fang Yu remembered these days and the dejectedness that he would never speak aloud.
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
Lf jirb tjv kbgglfr, jcv tf jirb ofia vlragfrrfv. Lf tjv alwfr ktfc tf kjr tega, yea ktb mbeiv tf ajix ab jybea atlr? Dfobgf, tf mbeiv ralii ajix ab Tjcu Ofl, yea Tjcu Ofl kjr atf gfjrbc obg atfrf kbgglfr. Lbk mbeiv tf rjs jcsatlcu??
“Dea atfrf vjsr, kf kfgf ugbklcu ojgatfg jcv ojgatfg jqjga… Zs tfjga tegar!”
All of these words were from the bottom of Fang Yu’s heart.
These were words that he had suppressed in his heart for so many days. These were his feelings every time he watched Yang Lei pass by and disappear from the balcony.
When Fang Yu said these words, Yang Lei kept silently looking at him.
Hearing Fang Yu’s unbearable “My heart hurts,” Yang Lei suddenly turned over and sat up. He pulled Fang Yu over and hugged him tightly.
“…”
Fang Yu was stunned for a moment.
Yang Lei hugged him very close. He forcefully held Fang Yu, burying his face in Fang Yu’s shoulder, hugging him tightly like he was about to embed Fang Yu into his own body. He breathed in the smell of Fang Yu’s body. He was very familiar with this smell, with the smell of tobacco and laundry detergent from washing clothes, and the smell of having been aired under the sunlight.
Yang Lei really didn’t know that he had so missed this smell, this body temperature, this texture, even the wrinkles on these clothes. He hugged Fang Yu as tightly as if all of his longing, chagrin, helplessness, sadness, and dejection during this time could be passed on to Fang Yu through his arms, to the person he wanted to touch yet didn’t dare to touch, this love he wanted yet wanted to let go.
“…Fang Yu!” Yang Lei unbearably and quietly called Fang Yu’s name, like an aggrieved child…
All of his emotions poured out in this sound…
Fang Yu also hugged him hard.
They didn’t even know why. They just embraced tightly like this in the dim light of dawn…
“…I really just went to his place to play on the computer.”
Yang Lei said quietly on Fang Yu’s shoulder.
“I never spent the night. Today, we chatted until it was late. He wanted me to stay, but I didn’t stay…”
He seemed to have gone back to his kindergarten days, when he had been wrongly accused of hitting another child. Little Yang Lei would aggrievedly explain himself to the teacher word by word.
“I was just afraid that if I came to your place, you would be uncomfortable… I wanted to come, really…”
Every time he passed by Fang Yu’s place, Yang Lei had to control his impulse to fly up the stairs.
“If I could do that thing with other people, I would have found other people long ago, but I only accept you. I feel that I’m sick!”
Yang Lei grabbed Fang Yu’s clothes tightly in distress. Fang Yu hugged him close.
“Ding Wen is interested in me, but I had already made it clear to him that he and I are just friends. How can you not believe me?!”
“I believe. I’ve always believed.” Fang Yu spoke the truth. He had always believed Yang Lei. Hearing Yang Lei say that he only accepted him in doing those things, indescribable feelings swept through Fang Yu’s heart: happiness, complexity, and something that he didn’t know and had restrained from thinking deeply about.
“It’s all my fault. I was wrong. Once I get irritated, I become unreasonable… Let’s make up, okay?”
Even Fang Yu’s tone had changed. Many years ago, he only used this tone when he coaxed his previous girlfriend. Fang Yu himself hadn’t even realized it.
Yang Lei let go of Fang Yu, looking at him.
The brightening light outlined Fang Yu’s handsome and valiant face.
Yang Lei looked at this face, his heart aching. This was the face he had longed for. These days, he had to think about it every night before he could fall asleep. He had fought with himself many times, before he could hold on to his decision. Not saying that this wasn’t “playing,” not saying that their feelings had long changed…
“…Fang Yu, let’s do it again, okay? Just once…”
Yang Lei pleaded…
Fang Yu silently looked at him for a while. He reached out his hand, embraced Yang Lei, and slowly fell onto the bed…
Before, Fang Yu had rarely kissed Yang Lei, but that day, Fang Yu kissed him.
Fang Yu kissed his neck and chest, kissed his nipples, and kissed the muscles on his abdomen. The places his lips reached all made Yang Lei react strongly, heavily panting… They took off all of their clothes, hugging each other while completely naked. They soothed each other, with many days of longing, with unbearable enthusiasm, and with the sorrow neither of them could speak of.
It wasn’t clear if they had both held back for too long, and they were too excited and impatient, or if they had a lot of morning energy to begin with. They just rubbed hard a few times and then trembled as they came, coming on each other’s abdomen, wet and messy.
No one was satisfied. Fang Yu pinned Yang Lei under him, stroking him heavily. He forcefully stroked his strong waist, buttocks, and legs. Yang Lei looked up at Fang Yu’s face that was full of desire. He could see that Fang Yu had also endured and yearned for a long time… Fang Yu lay on top of Yang Lei’s body, looking down at Yang Lei’s thing that he was jerking off. Yang Lei’s thing swelled with blood in Fang Yu’s hand, changing shape… Fang Yu glanced at Yang Lei. Although he once had inhibitions they disappeared in that moment. He wanted to bring Yang Lei happiness, just like how Yang Lei had once wholeheartedly brought him happiness. Fang Yu no longer hesitated. He lowered his head, putting Yang Lei’s thick erection in his mouth…
Yang Lei raised his upper body in shock. He hadn’t thought that Fang Yu would be willing to do this for him. He looked at Fang Yu in surprise, looking at his thing being swallowed in and out of Fang Yu’s lips…
That visual brought Yang Lei too much excitement.
Fang Yu didn’t have any skills at all. Several times, he even grazed Yang Lei with his teeth, causing him pain, but Yang Lei had never felt this much stimulation. Strong pleasure like this was not just physiological, but more psychological. After all, this was his first time doing this. It wasn’t possible to say that Fang Yu did not find it repulsive at all, but Fang Yu still persisted in doing it. He did it attentively and devotedly, wanting to bring Yang Lei more sensation. Yang Lei’s chest rose and fell violently, jerked uncontrollably, as he sent himself into Fang Yu’s mouth. He deeply pushed in and then pulled out, his mouth letting out uncontrollable pants and moans… Finally, he couldn’t bear it anymore. He pushed Fang Yu away, his lower part trembling as he ejaculated. He came again and again, unable to stop even after coming several times…
Yang Lei gasped for breath, looking at Fang Yu with bleary eyes. Fang Yu looked at his face and couldn’t help but brush Yang Lei’s hair, looking at his eyes.
“…Did it feel good?” Fang Yu asked hoarsely.
Yang Lei nodded, his eyes still gazing at Fang Yu.
After 2000, there was a song that was once popular all over the country called “Your Eyes Betrayed Your Heart.” At that time, Yang Lei’s eyes betrayed his heart. His gaze was nearly about to reveal his heart. Fang Yu looked at him, looking at Yang Lei’s slightly parted lips. At that moment, Fang Yu actually had an impulse to kiss Yang Lei. He controlled himself and turned his head away.
“…I’ll help you.” Yang Lei raised his hand to touch Fang Yu’s dick that still hadn’t released. He pressed his legs tight, motioning for Fang Yu to do it like last time, wanting to do it however it felt good…
This time, Yang Lei didn’t lie on his stomach. He lay down halfway, accepting Fang Yu’s impact. Their upper bodies were tightly hugging. The sweat all over their body mingled together. Yang Lei felt Fang Yu thrusting hotly between his legs and heard Fang Yu letting out unbearable moans in his arms. That was a man’s deepest, sexiest, and most charming voice. It made Yang Lei ecstatic, melting in this passion. He felt that not only were just their pleasures mingling, but also his and Fang Yu’s hearts were getting closer and closer…
On the bed after the passion faded, they lay side by side, letting the first ray of sunlight outside the window shine in through the window, spilling onto their body.
Their chests rose and fell faintly as they looked at the ceiling. They were both clearing something up in their hearts, but they couldn’t say what it was aloud…
“Yang Lei… do I have a problem…?” Fang Yu didn’t know if he was asking Yang Lei or himself…
Yang Lei looked at the ceiling in silence, without saying anything…
Perhaps, in that early morning, something was already different.
Perhaps the distance was just one step apart. Given a little more time, they could understand what this step was, and how they should walk forward.
But things often don’t allow enough time for people to ponder.
That afternoon, when Yang Lei walked out of Fang Yu’s place to the company, Yan Ziyi asked him to go with him. They got on the train to the provincial capital to discuss the project.
When he came out of Fang Yu’s place, the two of them parted downstairs. Fang Yu smiled as he waved goodbye to Yang Lei and went to Grand Century Restaurant.
Yang Lei still remembered that when Fang Yu walked out the door, he wore a new white dress shirt. It had been bought earlier when Yang Lei had gone shopping with him. Yang Lei thought that when Fang Yu wore it, he was very refreshing, very good-looking.
That night, trouble found Fang Yu.
Uhh so this was posted on the wrong page lol
I will probably have to write this comment out again but: I’m so glad Fang yu regained his senses!! Hurrah for Consent!!! And while I was happy they seemed to become close again that last like really rained on my parade😩 Please let Fang Yu be ok🙏
Thanks for the chapter! It’s really interesting seeing the development like this
Thank you for the double update! 💕
I knew, deep down, that Fang Yu wouldnt hurt Yang Lei, but I was still super nervous.
This chapter brought a lot of sweetness.. but what will happen to Fang Yu?
thanks for the chapter <3
Arghhh that last line really broke all my excitement…
Thanks for the chapter ❤❤
Thank you so much for not leaving us with bad feelings for a week!
That last line though…
Reading Chapter 30 almost killed me.
I’ve grown attached to Yang Lei, since we’ve seen things from his perspective as he tried his best to move on while suffering in silence.
Yang Lei = Best Boy.
Fang Yu going OOC was one of the biggest shocks I’ve experienced so far in reading danmei.
What a relief he snapped out of it, because I had been sharpening knives while awaiting this chapter!!!
I LOVE stories likes these, because emotional rollercoasters give me life 😅
The cliffhanger 😭😭
💙💙💙
“Dea atfrf vjsr, kf kfgf ugbklcu ojgatfg jcv ojgatfg jqjga… Zs tfjga tegar!”
💔💔💔 It hurts my heart as well.
Thanks for the chapter. ❤️
“But these days, we were growing farther and farther apart… My heart hurts!”