After spraying the little ball out, there were no movements outside. Even the noise from all the rooms could no longer be heard; it was dead silent, as if Xiao Lan was disconnected from the world.
Xiao Lan didn’t act blindly without thinking. He waited quietly.
After waiting a while, there was finally the sound of footsteps outside as someone entered the bathroom; from the sound, it was two people.
“Baby~ I love you so much~”
“Baby, me too~”
“Let’s shower together today~”
“MUA～”
The footsteps were accompanied by greasy words of love. At the same time, the noise outside came back and the bathroom was no longer like a separated, independent space.
Swiftly finishing his shower, Xiao Lan opened the shabby door of the bathroom cubicle.
At the same time, the door opposite opened as well.
Xiao Lan came face to face with Wu Ting, who had opened the door across from him. Seeing each other’s expression at that moment, they exchanged looks of tacit understanding.
It was very obvious that they had both just encountered the same thing, and it seemed that Wu Ting also had her own way to resolve it.
Wu Ting’s hair was still dripping with water as it lay casually over her shoulders. She only wore a towel as she swaggered out.
Out of respect, Xiao Lan hurried to avert his gaze.
But with just that brief look, he realised that Wu Ting’s chest… was so flat a hundred alpacas could run across it; it was no different from a man’s. It turned out that the previous mounds were all silicone or sponge pads!
Where was the most basic trust between human beings?
Wu Ting was completely unaware of the shock in Xiao Lan’s heart as she left at a graceful pace.
On the other side, there was already the sound of water in the cubicle the couple was in, followed by other not-so-harmonious sounds. Hearing them, goosebumps rose all over Xiao Lan’s body. Afraid that he would go deaf if he stayed any longer, he rubbed his arms and swiftly left.
Returning to his room, Xiao Lan discovered Luo standing in the dark.
The weak light from the fake city outside the window illuminated Luo’s side profile: the line of his tall and straight nose, the slight smile on his lips, and the elegant arch of his lower jaw. Luo clearly had exceptionally outstanding features.
He seemed to be mulling over something, and his pensive appearance revealed a unique charm.
He only came back to his senses when Xiao Lan’s footsteps could be heard at the door.
“Sir.” Luo looked at Xiao Lan. “It seems there’s a power failure in the room.”
Xiao Lan: “…”
The beautiful scene was completely shattered. It turned out that this guy was just thinking about why there was a power failure?
Xiao Lan went over to take a look and saw that the landlord had remodelled the electric circuits in the partitioned rooms so that all their power was cut off at night; he was a real miser to some extent.
Perhaps he and Zhang Dong from Terminal Supermarket spoke the same language.
Even the old and ratty little electric fan above their heads which spun creakily had stopped. It seemed they would die from the heat tonight.
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
Wljb Ojc regnfsfv atf gbbw. “Qtja j qlas kf vbc’a tjnf jcs abbir gluta cbk. Yatfgklrf, P kbeiv yf jyif ab mtjcuf atf fifmaglm mlgmela.”
Oeb kjr nfgs meglber. “Vlg, lc atf fcv, tbk wjcs rxliir kfgf sbe jyif ab wjrafg yfmjerf bo qbnfgas?”
Xiao Lan thought about it. “Us broke people are just like this ah…”
Cr atf akb bo atfw kfgf ajixlcu, atfgf kjr jc jygeqa geraif jybnf atflg tfjvr.
Xiao Lan lifted his head to see that something had appeared on the fan he had just been evaluating. Slender, old-fashioned, and practically fused with the stains — a hemp rope.
They had clearly already thrown this thing out; moreover, it hadn’t been there when Xiao Lan lifted his head to look at the fan right before this.
Without the two of them knowing, it had actually appeared by itself!
There was clearly no wind outside at the moment, yet this rope swayed on its own, the action full of provocation. It was clearly saying: You slags, laozi is back. Come beat me.
In front of this rope that was acting recklessly, the emotionless demolition machine and his hunting dog decided to teach it how cruel reality could be.
Xiao Lan gave Luo a meaningful look, and Luo instantly understood.
He stood up, stretched out one slender arm, and took down this arrogant rope from the fan.
On the other side, Xiao Lan rummaged through the junk in the room and finally found a wooden stick.
The two of them joined hands, and this innocent little rope that didn’t know what was going to happen was tied to the wooden stick. They then found a shabby bucket to stick it in.
Xiao Lan smiled as he took out 【This is a dagger coated in highly toxic poison】and waved it at the rope.
The poison in 【This is a dagger coated in highly toxic poison】wouldn’t be activated against ordinary things, but if this rope wasn’t ordinary at all, then it would have an effect.
At that moment, the hemp rope finally felt that something was wrong and tried to struggle. However, it discovered that some beast had tied it up into a bunch of tight knots and firmly bound it to the stick. Now, it was tangled up even more wretchedly than headphone wires, and couldn’t be undone at all.
It could only ‘stare’ helplessly as Xiao Lan brandished his dagger at it.
“【This is a dagger coated in highly toxic poison】 deals hanging rope number 13 damage, additional toxicity: Liushen Eau de Cologne.”
The fragrance of perfume filled the air in the partitioned room: fresh and clean, delightful, mosquito repellant, non-itchy.
Xiao Lan: “…”
Big brother, you good? Don’t fall flat at a critical moment, alright?
Xiao Lan cut the hemp rope again.
“【This is a dagger coated in highly toxic poison】 deals hanging rope number 13 damage, additional toxicity: 84 disinfectant.”
“【This is a dagger coated in highly toxic poison】 deals hanging rope number 13 damage, additional toxicity: insect growth regulator.”
Hanging rope number 13 couldn’t help but become smug again, shaking its one part which could still move: Come on, you two fools~
With a dark expression, Xiao Lan gave it one last cut:
“【This is a dagger coated in highly toxic poison】 deals hanging rope number 13 damage, additional toxicity: aqua regia.”
“Pst —” There was the sound of corrosion as yellow smoke appeared. The acid entered the cut that the dagger had made in hanging rope number 13 and began spreading at an unscientific rate.
Xiao Lan swiftly took a step back and avoided the gas that was coming out.
Hanging rope number 13 immediately struggled with all its might, but the aqua regia wreaked havoc on its body as if it had a life of its own. Amidst the rising smoke, soon only a puddle was left and nothing could be seen of its original form.
Hanging rope number 13, dead.
The rope was in the waves of jianghu; how could it not get screwed over?
Taking advantage of the fact that the shabby bucket was still fine, Xiao Lan casually tossed it out the window. In any case, civic duty and whatnot wasn’t any use in this fake city.
Now, the room was finally quiet.
Since he didn’t know if something might happen at night, Xiao Lan felt he may as well sleep a little earlier.
Unexpectedly, just as he lay down on the bed, a bunch of rats hurtled past the window, their scuttling causing the old metal pipes outside the window to echo with a rhythmic rumble, as if they were dancing in a disco.
Xiao Lan: “…”
It was clear that the city outside was fake, but rats still appeared for some reason.
At the same time, the evil cult disciple staying next door to Xiao Lan started to get noisy. He chanted “God’s punishment” and “please punish me ba” as he ran into the wall. The thuds of him hitting the wall repeatedly drifted through the wall that had been built without the slightest care.
Xiao Lan: “…”
On the other side, the pair of lovers had come back from their shower but were starting to argue. In the face of their voices, the wall was nonexistent:
“I want to break up with you! You tasteless, boxer shorts-wearing man!”
“What’s bad about boxer shorts? Don’t tell me you don’t have a sense of security?”
“But why are your boxers pink, and have Hello Kitty on them?!”
“Doesn’t this show that laozi is super fucking cute?!”
“How is piracy cute?!”
“Are you stupid?!”
“You’re fucking stupid!”
What followed after that were the sounds of a chaotic fight.
One of the contestants seemed to have chosen a long-range attack, and constantly hurled various objects. However, this contestant’s aim wasn’t good as most of these things slammed into Xiao Lan’s wall with tremendous thuds.
Xiao Lan: “…”
Sleep, my ass.
Xiao Lan sat up on the bed with a heavy expression. He knocked on the wall, reminding the couple immersed in their lovers’ spat on the other side that there were two living beings staying next door to them.
How could the lovers drunk on fighting have time to care about nobodies or whatever?
The man shouted in the direction of the wall, “What are you knocking for? Damn broke and unwanted single dog, you don’t believe that laozi won’t come over to sort you out in the middle of the night?!
“Eat my ‘last week’s stinky socks’ attack!”
The woman also found the time to shout, “Damn single dog! Eat shit and scram!”
“Ow! You actually ambushed me with slippers!”
The damn broke and unwanted single dog Xiao Lan felt an anger that was beyond imagination! I may be broke and single, but that isn’t a reason to look down on me!
He said to Luo, who was watching the scene from next to the window, “I want them to experience a thrashing by a member of society!”
Luo turned to look at him, then smiled lightly. “At your service, sir.”
Next door.
The man who had shouted the slogan very ferociously had been forced toward the door by his family’s girlfriend, and was protecting his face with a plastic basin. He was pondering the chance to counter-attack.
However, the door behind him slammed open with a sudden and powerful force, which sent him flying to directly welcome the slipper in his girlfriend’s hand to his face, and both of them hit the floor.
Rolling into a heap, both of them look at the door in horror.
They then saw the single dog who was staying next door enter, as well as the man in the three-piece suit. The two of them were wearing gentle and fitting smiles, and looked elegant and amiable.
If you disregarded the door next to them that had already been kicked to the point of collapse.
“Y- y- you guys…” The man tried to string words together.
The two who entered had no intention of wasting words on them though. The men walked over on long legs towards them, and Luo picked up the blanket on the bed in passing.
On the other side, Xiao Lan was holding a nylon rope that had come from who knew where, and was fiddling with it lightly.
Before the couple could get up, their heads were already covered by the blanket.
In the darkness that followed, they felt weak, pitiful and helpless in the face of a member of society. When they slowly came back to their senses, they were already only able to stick their heads out of the tied-up blanket, like two chicken wraps that had just come out of the oven.
Xiao Lan squatted in front of them and gave a harmless smile. “I. Want to sleep. Understand?”
The two nodded frantically, terrified into being extremely swift and resolute.
The demon before them gave a satisfied smile and reached out to pat their heads. “If there’s a next time…”
On the side, Luo also reached up to draw a line across his neck.
The couple instantly understood, and they nodded as if they had gotten seizures.
After bidding this couple farewell, the two entered the evil cult disciple’s room, and after exchanging amiable and friendly greetings, both sides launched into a thorough discussion on the matter of a peaceful night’s sleep as well as initiated a detailed investigation into neighbour relations in the new age. Finally, both sides reached a consensus.
They founded a harmonious society, built a beautiful homeland together, and acted as good neighbours of the new age.
After the two left, the evil cult disciple who was tied to the bed and unable to move: “…”
The author has something to say:
Xiao Lan: Even though I’m a damn broke single dog unwanted by a single person, this isn’t a reason for you to disdain me.
Luo: Sir, I want you ah.
Xiao Lan: But you’re not a person either ah.
Luo: …
Haha it’s so amusing to see how Xiao Lan deals with all these ghost issues. He never quite does thing the traditional way.
Thank you for translating!!🥰♥️💋😍💖
Wait so they tied up the evil cult disciple too? 😂
Thanks for the chapter~
Nice Xiao Lan. Sometimes, violance is the answer.😀😀😀😂😂😂
Agreed, also your profile pic suits this comment very much.🙃
Man, this is hilarious 😂😂
If my bf or gf was wearing hello kitty pants I’d love them lol
Thank you for the chapter!!! ❤️❤️
Thanks for the chapter! 💕💕
Thank you so much for translating! <3
Thanks for the update
XIAO LAN just wants to sleep, okay! Let him get his beauty rest!
I cackled at some of this chapter!
Thanks so much <3
That’s why you NEVER look down on us singles, you f**ng couples! Know your place!
Man, this is hilarious. I love XL and Luo.
Xiao Lan and Luo deserve medals the size of a dinner plate for dealing with those noisy freaks! And the rope! Don’t forget the rope 😂
Thank you for the translation 🌸
How I wish to do that too when my neighbours are noisy again x’D
Thx for the ch (≧▽≦)/
Me pareció tan gracioso, jajajaja sociedad
lol this author is great. I love the last part, so funny. 😁
You aint a perosn either..bro
Must say the environment for sleeping is very bad, with rat and ghost infested bed, no electricity in summer and noisy shouting neighbours. Very understandable that Xiao Lan will settle the first and last problem. Also good (and sad) that he’s used to staying in bad environment. The theatre is funny, poor Luo
That’s why I felt familiar when XL was dealing with the ghost. It was kinda the same with the MC at IWBL. But I still like the setting of this one ey
he can be scary sometimes!! Luo you’re lucky!