After saying this, Ji Yan didn’t look back at Lu Yichen anymore. He quickly stopped a taxi, got in and went away.
It wasn’t that he didn’t want to look at his face, but rather he didn’t dare to.
He wasn’t brave enough.
A man who he has loved for three years, he couldn’t bear to look at the expression on his face, for fear of seeing pain, but even more afraid of seeing indifference.
How much does Lu Yichen actually love him?
Ji Yan couldn’t tell.
The taxi drove slowly away, and eventually, Ji Yan couldn’t hold back anymore and turned around to look at Lu Yichen.
Through the rear window, he saw him standing quietly in the distance, like a flagpole in the wind, motionless.
He could not clearly see the expression on his face but still, he couldn’t take his eyes off of his thin figure. He kept on watching him until his vision gradually blurred, and he could no longer make out his form.
Ji Yan finally let his tears out. He buried his head in his arms, hugging himself tightly and wept.
There were many reasons for couples to break up in this world; most of them are not because they have come to hate each other, but because there was no more love between them.
Ji Yan cried silently for a long time and when he finally raised his head again, his eyes were red and swollen so he hurried to find a tissue but could not find any in his pocket.
The Taxi driver glanced at him and handed him a box of napkins.
Ji Yan took it from him and bowed his head in gratefulness.
The whole situation felt so embarrassing.
“What’s wrong with you, young boy? Are you heartbroken or do you feel homesick?”
Ji Yan froze.
“Did I get it right?” The old taxi driver said and then smiled: “If it is a love problem, I won’t be of much help because feelings are the hardest thing to understand. But if you’re missing your parents and you can’t go back, just give them a call. It’s not easy to be out here alone.”
Ji Yan instantly realized that he hadn’t been home nor did he call his father for a very long time.
He really didn’t have the face to go back. At that time, he had insisted on staying with Lu Yichen, regardless of his father’s opposition, and decided to leave.
His phone suddenly vibrated, Ji Yan thought it was Lu Yichen, and calmed himself down a bit before looking at the text message.
Yet, the person who sent him the message was unexpectedly his dad.
[What’s wrong? I just saw your post with your friend’s “coupon”, come back home if you are having a hard time.]
Three days ago, Ji Yan had made a post to his circle of friends on Weibo while blocking Lu Yichen from seeing it, the post was just one word: Tired.
Ji Yan suddenly sucked in his breath, his dad was not really a cultured person, he made his fortune by raising pigs in his farm.
Just now, he had mistakenly written the word “circle” as “coupon”. Yes, his father was not an open minded person; he had never once in his life thought about homosexuality so how could he be expected to accept it?
Two years ago, Ji Yan couldn’t understand how his father discriminated against him just like an outsider would.
But now he understands that no matter what, he was still his precious son. Since long ago, his dad took the role of father and mother to raise him to the best of his abilities. He never denied him anything, always giving him the best.
Yet, he had foolishly left him and ran away with a mere kid.
It’s stupid. So stupid.
In this world, other than love, there are obviously other important things that you should cherish.
After getting off the Taxi, Ji Yan gave his dad a call. It was his first time in three years.
His Father’s voice sounded a little excited and not at all reproaching as he had expected it to be, with a soft tone his father asked: “Do you want to come back?”
“Yes” Ji Yan replied as he suppressed back a sob.
“That… Are you bringing that boy with you? Let him come, let me see what he looks like”.
His old man has finally came around and decided to compromise for his sake.
For a moment, Ji Yan just wanted to slap himself in the face.
“No, he won’t be coming with me, we are not together anymore” Ji Yan said trying his best to sound as calm as possible.
“Ah…” a woman’s voice abruptly took over the phone: “Little Yan, you stinky boy, How long has it been since you last called us?”
“Aunty?”
“So you still remember your have an aunt!…Listen I need to tell you something… ” The woman suddenly lowered her voice and added: “Your dad isn’t doing too well, I came to look after him for a few days. Don’t worry, it’s nothing serious and he has almost recovered.”
“I’m going back tonight!”
“It’s okay. You don’t have to hurry. You know… your dad really misses you. That time when he told you to never come back, he was just angry, he didn’t mean it. How could you take it seriously? You rascal, you are so stubborn. It’s not a big deal. It’s just that the kid was too young. How can you count on him? How can he be expected to be responsible? Two men… Alas!” The woman paused and said: “The road ahead of you is hard, just like walking up the hill in the countryside to gather woods. It’s very difficult and challenging.”
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
After hanging up, Ji Yan stood in front of his apartment building for a long time without moving.
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He could not tell when the knocking stopped but the room suddenly became quiet again, so quiet, he could hear his heartbeat.
Ji Yan went to sit on his bed just for a bit, but a while after, he was still sitting there, in a daze, reminiscing about their past.
He remembered many things; a lot of thoughts submerged his mind again and again.
Three years ago, Ji Yan opened a dessert shop for the first time near a key high school in Suzhou.
He has never learned dessert, but to him, all foods are interlinked. He took it as a challenge and has groped his way into learning more about how to make delicious desserts.
And that is how he came to open a shop.
As soon as his shop opened, whether it was high school students or adults, both came in, in an endless stream.
Ji Yan is a very picky person when it comes to making desserts, he always chose the best ingredients and he took his time perfecting new recipes. Therefore, the highly popular desserts were also high priced.
At the end of spring, cold drinks were frequently served in Ji Yan’s shop.
A group of young and energetic girls sat in the store with their cold drinks talking about worries and problems only they would understand.
A particular name often came up in their discussions. It was a boy’s name “Lu Yichen”.
No. 1 in the school, No. 1 in the city’s joint examination, and a genius among his peers of the same grade.
Simply put: a prodigy.
Ji Yan, who has never considered himself worse than others, was getting curious about this genius.
As the weather became hotter and hotter, there were more and more students coming to get refreshments at his shop. Ji Yan was getting busier and had to recruit a part-timer to help him around.
That evening, as Ji Yan was closing up the shop, a nice voice suddenly came from behind: “Do you still need manpower?”
Ji Yan paused and turned around to look at the person.
A tall and handsome boy with a childish face stood in front of him. When he talked two little front tiger teeth could be seen, it made him look quite cute.
“Yes, I haven’t hired anyone yet” Ji Yan said and reopened the door that he had just locked.
“Come on in” Ji Yan invited him in and started to make him a glass of lemonade with ice.
He put it in front of the boy and said: “This time you can make do with this.”
“Thank you” The boy shyly said.
“How old are you?”
“Eighteen, I am in my senior year of high school.”
“Third year of high school!” Ji Yan thought for a bit and said: “Hey, doesn’t that mean that you have to take the College entrance exam later this year?”
“Yes, it is in less than two months.”
“Why do you want to do it? a Part-time job I mean” Ji Yan said and stared at the boy’s pretty face.
He had a weird and constant impression that he had seen it before.
“I want to make money for College.”
Ji Yan only then noticed that the clothes the boy was wearing were too simple. Although the shoes looked very clean, they seemed old.
“What’s your name?”
“Lu Yichen” The boy answered.
Ji Yan was stunned. The name sounds too familiar.
He was a little shocked: “With your grades, I heard that you could get in Tsinghua University, right? What kind of tuition fees do you need?”
“I want to go to Harvard” Lu Yichen’s eyes brightened when he said this.
At that time, Ji Yan only felt that the child was ambitious.
What he did not know was that Harvard was the school Xia Jinian intended to go to.
…
The knocking on the door started again.
Startled, Ji Yan came back to himself, he did not expect Lu Yichen to be still there.
He picked up his suitcase, turned around and finally opened the door.
Lu Yichen’s tall figure enveloped Ji Yan’s body in an instant, his eyes flushed.
Ji Yan tried to push him away but he had no strength to fight, he just said: “I paid half a year’s rent for this house; you can continue to live here.”
“Brother Yan” Lu Yichen hugged him nervously, his voice low and trembling, he said:
“Where are you going?”
“Back to Changchun, I miss home.”
“Then… are you coming back?”
“No, I am not coming back.”
Ji Yan then felt his shoulders getting wet from Lu Yichen’s tears. The last time he saw this kid crying was three years ago, the day before Xia Jinian went to study abroad.
“Then…I’ll go find you there, OK?”
Ji Yan didn’t answer.
An unspeakable sadness invaded Lu Yichen’s heart and suddenly occupied his body. He held
Ji Yan tightly and did not want to let go, nor did he dare to.
Finally after a while, Ji Yan broke free from his gripe, turned and walked out, carrying his suitcase and stepping down the stairs one by one.
When approaching the gate, Ji Yan glanced back one last time at Lu Yichen.
The latter had his head lowered down while his shoulders shook slightly.
That night, Ji Yan boarded a flight back to Changchun.
On the plane, the image of Lu Yichen standing in the dark corridor kept replying in his mind over and over again.
In fact, at that time, what he really wanted was to ask Lu Yichen whether he loved him or not, but he was afraid of either answer.
Afraid it would lead him to both hesitation and heartache.
After a moment, Ji Yan felt drowsy.
He soon drifted to sleep and went to dream about their past again and again.
…
“Come early tomorrow, or how about tonight, is it convenient for you to stay a bit longer?” Ji Yan looked at Lu Yichen, who was too eye-catching for his own good, and smiled: “I will teach you how to make cold drinks; it is not very difficult, you are so smart, you should be able to master it in no time.”
Lu Yichen with his eyebrows lowered, sipping the cold, sweet lemonade, nodded and said: “Tonight is fine, thank you.”
“I will say it in advance; it would be ten dollars an hour.”
“I know, thank you.”
Ji Yan took Lu Yichen to the kitchen and began to teach him how to make cold drinks. As expected, Lu Yichen didn’t take much to learn, he only had to show him once.
In front of a variety of concentrated jams, milk tea powder, and pearl coconut fruit, Ji Yan taught him exactly what percentage of each to use in order to make each kind of drink.
Ji Yan stared at Lu Yichen, who was earnestly doing his best, sincerely appreciating such people.
The next day, Ji Yan’s shop was twice as popular as usual.
The girls crowded in front of the counter and asked for Lu Yichen to make them a drink.
Ji Yan lifted the corner of his mouth in a smile, this was the handsome guy effect.
Later at noon, after a busy morning, Ji Yan carried a plate of fried rice with eggs and put it in front of Lu Yichen who was about to leave.
“Help yourself, I made it for you” He took out a stack of banknotes from his pocket and said:
“By the way, this is your salary.”
Lu Yichen counted it and asked: “Why are there ten dollars more?”
“Take it as your reward. There is no time to buy food at this time and you are about to go to class. Hurry and eat.”
Lu Yichen just looked at Ji Yan confused.
“No need to be polite, eat your lunch.”
Lu Yichen said nothing more, packed up the money, took a spoon and tried a bite.
Immediately after that, he went for a second bite, a third bite, and so forth until he finished his meal.
“Did you like it?” Ji Yan leaned on his chin, staring at him with a smile.
“It was delicious, boss. Then, I’ll be on my way” Lu Yichen said and quickly ran out of the door.
Ji Yan looked at his back and couldn’t help but sigh. The kid is certainly motivated!
That night, Lu Yichen was busy, and two tall, thin boys were waiting for him at the door.
“Lu Yichen! Hurry up! Today is Jinian’s birthday!”
“It’s okay, don’t rush him.”
Ji Yan naturally heard them too.
The one shouting was a boy wearing the currently popular short-sleeved jeans.
The other boy was dressed in his school uniform. His face was bright with a pink blush. He had a gentle look as he smiled softly.
The trendy boy replied: “Brother, this is your birthday. If you are not in a hurry, then I don’t care.”
And the gentle one just said: “I am not bothered, we can wait.”
Lu Yichen was finishing tidying up the kitchen.
Ji Yan put on his apron and walked to him: “Your classmates are waiting for you. Go with them, I’ll take it from here.”
Lu Yichen shook his head: “No, I haven’t finished my work yet.”
“I can do it. Don’t let them wait for you. I won’t deduce it from your salary.”
Lu Yichen hesitated.
Outside his trendy friend shouted for him again. Lu Yichen took off his apron, wiped his hands, took his backpack and said: “Thank you, boss. I’m leaving now.”
“See you tomorrow.”
“Yes, good-bye.”
Ji Yan finished cleaning up and looked at the time. It happened to be the time for the live broadcast of a game he wanted to watch.
He turned on the small TV in the store and decided to leave after watching the game.
Seeing half of the game, Ji Yan stood dancing in the store, cheering for the goal just scored, when suddenly the door was pushed open.
Looking back, it was Lu Yichen.
Surprised he asked: “What are you doing here?”
“Can I stay here for a while?” Lu Yichen’s eyes were red and his mouth was pursed.
Ji Yan immediately agreed, guessing the child had been wronged.
“Want to watch the game with me?”
Lu Yichen sat beside him and shook his head.
“Have you been drinking?”
Ji Yan nodded then shook his head: “Didn’t drink too much, just a little.”
“What happened?”
“…”
Ji Yan saw that Lu Yichen didn’t say anything. It seems that he doesn’t want to talk about it, and since, it’s his private matters, and Ji Yan didn’t want to pry too much, he didn’t ask anymore.
Back at the game, it was a critical moment. Ji Yan couldn’t help but turn his attention to the TV and concentrate on watching the game.
“He… wants…” Lu Yichen whispered something.
“Hmm? What?” Ji Yan still kept staring at the game.
Then, the next moment, Ji Yan was hugged into Lu Yichen’s arm as he whispered in a lost voice in his ear: “He’s going abroad, he doesn’t want me.”
“hmm? What? Who?”
“Boss, am I sick? …I like men.”
Ji Yan suddenly froze.
After a long time, Lu Yichen finally fell asleep.
Ji Yan sat next to him and softly said: “You are not sick, this is not a sickness.”
I also like men.
Oooh, things get really serious :< But that decision is probably the best for the both of them…
Thank You for the new chapter（*’∀’人）♥
Did the right thing, if a relationship becomes a one way street then it’s time to let go
I loved this chapter.
listening to invu by taeyeon while reading this, and boy…. 🤥 tears left my eyes
no matter how sad i was, why would i write this..?
Own, he’s working hard for his love’s sake, but, darling, don’t drag others into it.
Sometimes it’s better to just let go..
i hope this is more of a journey for JY to find it in himself to treasure and love himself more.
no matter they get back tgt or not.