As usual, the office atmosphere had nothing in common with the sluggishness of an autumn afternoon. It was the fate of everyone involved with the press media to always keep their eyes and ears open and ready to respond quickly to incidents.
Due to the nature of the job, people in news agencies had to split seconds in order to quickly produce and distribute breaking news articles. While the busy people and the sound of footsteps hitting the floor played in their own harmony, a person watched through the half-opened blinds of the office, simple and docile.
“What’s so intriguing?”
A man approached him and poured coffee into an empty cup. Following the movement, the wrinkles of his shirt rippled gently. The aroma of coffee beans spread throughout the office. The tension that had been squeezing his heart from the moment he entered the room was releasing bit by bit. He liked the subtle scent that hung on the tip of his tongue.
“It smells good. Though, I can’t really tell the difference between good coffee…”
“It would’ve been stranger if you could actually tell them apart.”
Shin Kwonjoo, seated next to him, snorted haughtily. When Ha Joyoon looked visibly dejected, the eyes of the man who was holding the cup and savoring the scent narrowed.
“Do you even know anything other than photography?”
“…No matter how much I like it, I can’t be ignorant about everything else.”
“It seems like both in the past and now, it’s all you know.”
Instead of commenting on that like he used to, Ha Joyoon kept his mouth shut. The days when he was worked to the bone came to mind. “At that time, you made me work too hard.”
“I see. I’m sorry about that.”
“I can’t do that anymore.”
“I don’t intend to make you do that either, so don’t go ahead by yourself. Don’t you have a schedule to cover today?”
“I’m only scheduled for screening today.”
“Don’t overdo it, work in moderation. I don’t want to carry out a corpse from here.”
Shin Kwonjoo laughed and moved his gaze back to the documents again. Keeping up with his meticulous nature, he carefully read every single letter on the paper. His neatly combed hair and straight nose always caught people’s eye. It suddenly occurred to Ha Joyoon that gossip about some employees having a crush on him would flow around every now and then. Did he know? Though, Ha Joyoon didn’t think his attitude would change even if he did.
For a long time, the other party did not speak. The occasional rustling of papers and the clatter of coffee cups were the only noises in the office. The man had called him out of the blue while he was working, but was sitting there just looking at the documents. Ha Joyoon calmly asked, “I’m busy, why did you call me in?”
“…I’m busy too. Wait a minute. Let me get through this.”
Though it was insincere, he still answered him properly. It was hard to imagine the awkward and uncomfortable atmosphere that existed in the past.
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
Even though it only happened once, there was a strange sexual tension that could only be shared between those who knew each other’s most intimate parts. It was both funny and painful to know that a relationship could be changed by the connection between bodies rather than the connection between two hearts.
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“……?”
Rustle- Rustle. He calmly turned over the documents and then gently pushed the black leather-covered file to one side.
“I called you in because I don’t think I would have much time to meet you separately this week. I actually have to get going too.”
Ha Joyoon was a bit worried about what to say. As if he noticed that, Shin Kwonjoo smiled knowingly and drank from the slightly cold cup.
“I was figuring things out too. Plus the last time was a bit spontaneous as well. It wasn’t like me.”
Ha Joyoon was curious about what he meant, but the worries didn’t last long. Smooth hands tapped the teak-finished desk.
“So, I think we need to properly establish our relationship.”
Relationship… Ha Joyoon, with a blank expression on his face, repeated some of Shin Kwonjoo’s words. And then he remembered that the other person had offered for them to be sex partners — and that he had accepted the offer on a whim.
Seeing his troubled expression, Shin Kwonjoo’s eyebrows furrowed even more. There was a mysterious look in his eyes. The atmosphere, which had been relaxed a while ago, suddenly chilled over. Ha Joyoon’s tilted face, filled with chaos, looked particularly pale.
“I don’t know what you mean.”
The light-colored eyes fluttered anxiously. Shin Kwonjoo, misinterpreting him, shrugged and laughed.
“Don’t worry. This office is completely soundproof. The windows are not made of regular glass. I drew the blinds as well. I often call other employees to my office, so no one will think twice about it.”
“No, no. It’s not like that.”
He shook his head, rubbing his cheek awkwardly. To begin with, he never cared much about the opinions of others. The harsh anxiety right now was only a problem in his mind. He was not yet used to Shin Kwonjoo’s way of speaking. He tended to bring up topics Ha Joyoon wanted to avoid, whenever he expected it the least, and managed to do it in a way that hit the hardest.
Tap.- Shin Kwonjoo went ahead and got right to business, putting the empty glass down on the table.
“I was clumsy and crossed the line, but it won’t be a normal relationship between you and me. I believe you would have thought about accepting the offer.”
He talked about the relationship with the heavy, low-pitched voice that seemed cold and inorganic. Somewhere, he could sense a sort of vigilance. Feeling strange, Ha Joyoon stared into the man’s dark eyes without saying a word. What did he mean by “won’t be a normal relationship”?
“It’s not too difficult. It’s not a relationship based on romantic feelings, so all you need to do is figure things out for maintenance and closure.”
Shin Kwonjoo’s intention to set down the terms of the relationship was clear. The relationship had both a clear beginning and an end. Perhaps with some of his past partners he had relationships with had failed to meet these conditions and faced a poor ending. The main contents of the conversation were definitely factors derived from past experiences.
There was no need for anyone to take responsibility and protect the other’s feelings. No one can take responsibility for the lives and emotions of anyone but themselves. That was the conclusion that Ha Joyoon reached after experiencing the pain that took control of his whole life.
The heart was really like a double-edged sword. When the handle was facing him, he had nothing to fear in the world, but when the direction changed and this time, the blade was facing him, it meant the end of the world. One horrible failure was enough.
It’s not something to be pessimistic about, but he learned the loopholes and weaknesses in words such as eternity and unconditional. His hand that was placed on his leg strengthened a little.
“We need to talk to each other about what to be careful about, and make sure to stick to that.”
“……”
“Nothing too troublesome.”
He shrugged his shoulders with a controlled face. Although he was speaking bleakly, it felt like many of the sharp thorns Ha Joyoon had seen in him as a boss had disappeared. Maybe it’s because we had sex? The scorn he held for himself came to his mind.
His first relationship, which was more serious than anything, failed miserably. And what was now before him was a second relationship that may carry the least amount of weight in the world. Since he couldn’t do anything about the empty feeling in his chest, he gave into this temptation as a means of temporary avoidance and entered a sexual relationship. It was a space where there was no need to be hurt again.
Shin Kwonjoo’s attempt to draw a clear line in the relationship was not taken lightly. Ha Joyoon frowned as he couldn’t understand his odd statements.
“Have you always been like this?”
“Of course. It may feel a little upsetting at first, but there’s nothing wrong with being careful. Above all…”
After a moment’s pause, the man tapped his chin. The thick, straight eyebrows contorted for a second. He eventually spoke again with a calm expression, though he still seemed hesitant.
“Honestly, this is the first time I’ve ever had a relationship like this with someone I have been involved with publicly in any way, professionally or academically. The same goes for partners. Moreover, I know that you’re not in good health.”
“……”
“I’m just as perplexed as you are.”
In a rougher tone than usual, the other party also expressed that the situation felt unfamiliar. If he was as perplexed as he said he was, he could just back out. Ha Joyoon couldn’t understand Shin Kwonjoo’s desire to continue a relationship with cumbersome conditions. Was there any meaning to this sexual relationship? He tried to talk but gave up as he couldn’t even do that.
Ha Joyoon, tired of worrying, relaxed his body and tilted his head. A tired sigh escaped his lips.
A view of the city spread out past the window. Crowded buildings and non-stop cars looked like toy blocks. A sense of frustration as if the entire city was endlessly converging towards a certain point choked his throat. He felt like he was being whipped to run at full speed by someone despite just starting to walk.
“You seem very adapted to this sort of thing.”
“…Not to the extent you’re thinking of. What do you think I am?”
He sighed and rubbed his forehead at the perceived criticism. The ring on the straight hand caught Ha Joyoon’s eye today as well. Shin Kwonjoo, conscious of him, corrected his posture again and folded his hands. The word ‘divorce’ came to Joyoon’s mind.
Even legally binding relationships come to an end. He tried to estimate how much effort it takes for another person to meet and form a relationship and continue it wholeheartedly.
The end of his relationship with Kang Taejung only limited his efforts. The man sitting next to him also loved someone sincerely and got married, and that love had dissipated. This probably had caused him to not want to put in a lot of work. If so, how was it right to reprimand the other side, who may still have feelings? What sort of separation was beautiful and neat and did not hurt each other’s memories?
Ha Joyoon muttered blankly, suppressing the deep-rooted bitterness.
“If you’re doing this because you think I’m going to be clingy, then you don’t need to worry.”
“That’s not it.”
He answered firmly and shook his head.
“After all, we might as well use the time left wisely for the benefit of both sides, don’t you agree? It’ll be the same when it’s over.”
“Good closure didn’t really exist for me. The ending I know of is the worst.”
“Listen. Don’t interrupt me.” Shin Kwonjoo after frowning for a moment at his words of self-deprecation. The expression on Ha Joyoon’s face, squinted eyes, furrowed eyebrows, and tightly closed lips, was not very good.
“I’m sorry, Sunbae-nim, but I’m a little tired…”
“It won’t take very long.”
In the end, he smiled quietly at Shin Kwonjoo, who seemed to be second-thinking his current choices.
“Ha Joyoon-ssi.”
In the end, a cold call that lost patience fell. He nodded insincerely, thinking that what he had endured until now was out-of-the-ordinary superhuman patience.
After a while, with a deep sigh, a low-pitched voice began to speak at a moderate pace. However, Ha Joyoon looked out the window again, not even being able to concentrate on those words for a long time.
The city outside the window looked so cramped.
People lived fiercely day by day in this world where various forms of violence existed. Some people find value in it, while others fall or shatter without finding that spark. He wanted to be detached from all the regrets that bound him. His closed eyes trembled silently.
Thank you for the update translator!!! ❤️❤️❤️
Thank you for the chapter 💕
This is very well written. Thank you for the update and for giving me the oportunity to read these two (Chaise a la reine) excelent korean novels. 😘