Author’s Note: Mild medical gore at the start, mild ‘benevolent’ homophobia at the end.
Getting together the sickroom is a scramble, but it would be harder without Zhou Xiwei.
He had immediately given up his and Zhou Xiting’s room, knowing without even looking that they had done the best job cleaning, nevermind all the work they’d done to create comfortable beds. Unless the yacht crew were hiding their talents, no one could get things clean like the two of them.
Next, he did what he could to arrange the things that the medic requested– the warm water and the cleanest towels and to find and fill hot water bottles, for future sterilization and the patient’s comfort. It would be easier with hotplates, and electricity, and fucking access to a medical office, but he works with what he’s got. On instinct, on impulse, on autopilot that doesn’t require him to think about what he’s just witnessed.
It’s easy to do chores. But as they’re finished, and the long healing process is about to start, Zhou Xiwei has time to worry. He doesn’t know who to look to– the medic, Song Bai, Shan Haoyu–
“Will he be okay?” He ends up asking the room.
Song Bai squeezes his arm to bring him into a side-hug, but doesn’t speak. The medic and Shan Haoyu respond to him at the same time:
“I don’t know.” – “He will be. I promise.”
Everyone focuses on Shan Haoyu and his strange confidence, but the only person he looks at is Zhou Xiwei. Like always. Like his words are for him alone.
Zhou Xiwei looks to him with naked hope, so he continues:
“Those are nasty creatures. But their venom is a flash in the pan. Now that the barbs are gone, the venom will filter through his system soon enough. He’ll be in pain, but not in danger. Not unless something secondary develops. I’ve seen plenty of people recover from stings almost as bad as what he’s experienced.”
He’s lying, but he sounds so sure that Zhou Xiwei doesn’t hesitate to believe him. Even the ‘should know better’ medic gives in. After all, even with the aid of the epinephrine, his anaphylaxis had resolved itself with remarkable quickness…
And it’s not a species he’s familiar with.
Maybe it really was a flash in the pan. Maybe it wouldn’t lead to necrosis. Maybe it looks worse than it is.
Maybe.
Medic Xu Wang puts on a new pair of gloves and does his best to assess and then address the damage, though it’s damn hard with testes swollen to the size of oranges and enough swelling of the shaft that the head of his penis can’t even be accessed.
“Really fucking wish we had a catheter…” The medic talks to himself. But Zhou Xiwei hears. Hears and interferes, in that way that he can’t be aware of, because he doesn’t know how much the island (and Shan Haoyu) want to court him.
“Is there any chance…” Oh, that hopeful face is hard to resist. “I know that those tend to be for older people, but is there piping or something that we could use? To help him?”
Of course there isn’t.
But if Zhou Xiwei asks, it’s a different story.
Like shampoo and cherry juice and mysteriously excellent cleaning products and fucking ice cream, if it’s something that Zhou Xiwei wants, even for somebody else–
The island will provide it.
Shan Haoyu has faith in that, and a lot of evidence to back that faith up. He just needs to come up with an excuse. Heh. It’s a skill he never needed before– a massacre doesn’t require pretense, after all– but he’s sure getting his practice in now. Catheters, old people, lies–
“There was an older gentleman, a long time ago. His family moved him closer and with shipping costs, left most of his house untouched. I’ll go look. Maybe we’ll get lucky.”
Zhou Xiwei looks hopeful enough that Shan Haoyu doesn’t even mind making Ding Dongqi’s (spared) life easier than he deserves. Though he wonders if the island will be fast enough in warping reality, when Zhou Xiwei insists on tagging along and helping him look.
Probably, he should say no. But he won’t.
He’ll never say no to time alone with Zhou Xiwei.
Anyway, if the island wants to court the person that he probably, honestly, really, maybe has a crush on, it’s only right that it puts in some extra work as well. He certainly is. Putting in work and being confused and still wondering how to chase, or if he even can. A walk to find medical supplies isn’t very romantic, but…
Well…
He’s doing his best.
—
They forge ahead, Shan Haoyu leading Zhou Xiwei to a new part of the island, past the school building that has previously always been his destination. They walk past the one-room groundskeeper’s cottage that the lovebirds have claimed, towards the small smattering of equally simple houses hidden in a half-circle behind it. Some are falling down, some are boarded up, and some look pretty okay.
But they all seem abandoned.
“Retirees, some of the teaching staff. People who left when the school failed.” Shan Haoyu explains, but finds that he’s talking to air– Zhou Xiwei is red-faced and frozen behind him.
Shan Haoyu walks back and discovers that from this angle–
Ah.
The chef and the junior steward are indeed an item. Shan Haoyu coughs, and Zhou Xiwei snaps out of it, quickly turning as red as the climbing roses that have turned the little cottage so picturesque.
“Sorry!” He hurries forward, pulling Shan Haoyu’s wrist to flee the scene. “Not a pervert! I promise! I just wasn’t expecting, in the middle of the day, and outside. But I shouldn’t have, I should definitely know to not invade their privacy by-”
Shan Haoyu flicks his wrist and turns Zhou Xiwei’s grab into a gentle handhold, and a squeeze. It’s their first time holding hands, since he pulled him from the sea. He soothes, while himself being soothed by the contact:
“They’re in public, outside a borrowed house.” No real expectation of privacy. “They’re still wearing clothing. And seem affectionate. That’s the important bit.”
A positive frame of mind and physical fitness are both important in survival situations. Maybe pinning your boyfriend to the wall and kissing him senseless while his legs wrap around you is just the most efficient way to address both facets. There’s really no way to tell.
Zhou Xiwei’s warm fingers flex against his palm, but he doesn’t pull away. Shan Haoyu rejoices.
“…It really doesn’t bother you? Two men?”
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
“It really doesn’t.” Shan Haoyu wants to be brave. He wants to add, ‘I prefer it,’ so that Zhou Xiwei knows where he stands, and knows that he’s just like him… But it feels too dangerous, while holding his hand. It feels like once he says it, Zhou Xiwei will know that his feelings are deeper than they should be. That he’s interested.
Qtja lo Itbe Wlkfl rajgar jnblvlcu tlw? Ktja’r wbgf rmjgs atjc jcs ifnfi bo yibbvrtfv.
“Pa’r ubbv atja sbe’gf rb bqfc-wlcvfv. Obar bo qfbqif jgfc’a.”
“Ktfc atfs’gf lvlbar. Rba kbgat jrrbmljalcu klat.”
“Lj. Tbe’gf iemxs sbe ilnf tfgf. Yc atf wjlcijcv, sbe’v gec bea bo qfbqif, lo sbe vlvc’a jrrbmljaf klat lvlbar.”
“Sounds like the mainland isn’t a good place to live.” His voice is casual. His heart is in his throat.
Zhou Xiwei’s hand is so nice and warm. And his laughter is bright.
“…You might be right. But it’s where everyone is, so…”
Shan Haoyu is a little reluctant, when they reach the porch of the first house, and he has to hunt for a key that shouldn’t exist, to let himself into this house that he barely remembers, that might not even have had an old man in it, much less one with catheter equipment. It means he has to let go of Zhou Xiwei’s hand.
Holding hands with him is nice. He doesn’t know when he’ll get the chance again.
He knows he’s abnormal, for finding something so simple so heart-pounding. He knows he’s abnormal, for thinking of soft and sweet things, while looking for medical supplies for someone that he holds hate towards.
He knows he’s abnormal. But he can’t help it. He just hopes Zhou Xiwei doesn’t grow alarmed by it.
—
Zhou Xiwei is quite sure something’s wrong with him.
There must be, because he knows himself to be a rather desireless person.
He’s worked hard, to enjoy unconsummated and unreciprocated love– and that means that he doesn’t do things like spy on other people’s trysts, or even think too hard about impossible things, like being kissed or held or cherished. It’s been a key part of his survival strategy.
Except when he dreams, he’s really very disciplined about his own lust.
Which is why it’s so very odd, that when Shan Haoyu held his hand, all he could think about was what it would be like, to pull him close and kiss him. What it would be like, if they were in the same position as the chef and his boyfriend, pressed against thornless roses-
…Something certainly must be wrong.
He’s not casual with his affections, and even if he was, the idea of having any sort of amorous thought, after seeing the tragic state of Ding Dongqi– and while actively hunting for supplies to address it!– is simply impossible! He’s not that kind of person!
No normal person is, no matter how starved for affection!
Catheters are not an aphrodisiac!
In an attempt to avoid his own questionable and confusing thoughts, he throws himself into ransacking this old man’s house, looking for hoses and- well, whatever else a catheter involves. For Old Ding’s ruined dick. Think about that, think about the horror, feel bad about his pain, and about stealing from the elderly, and stop thinking strange things about men that you hardly know and what it would Be! Like! To! Kiss! Them!
He pulls a curtain a little too hard, and sneezes at the dust that’s disturbed by the aggressive action. Sneezes some more, sneeze sneeze sneeze sneeze in rapid succession.
He knows he sounds like a kitten with a cold. He’s been told that before, and he finds himself bracing for the mockery. Instead, Shan Haoyu appears, holding a roll of toilet paper in one hand, and a handkerchief in the other.
“Sorry. I forgot to warn you how dusty the old places can get.” Shan Haoyu holds up the navy-bordered handkerchief. “We can tie this around your nose, after. Should help with it.”
Once more, Zhou Xiwei feels syrupy and warm.
Feels like even if there’s something wrong with him, he never feels wrong when he’s around Shan Haoyu. And his thoughtfulness. It’s unexpected, and lovely, and he’s weak to it. If he’s not careful, he’ll get spoiled enough that he won’t even want to leave. Won’t want to be careful or considerate about his unwanted feelings.
He wipes his nose and doesn’t flinch away, when Shan Haoyu folds the handkerchief diagonally and brings it up to his nose, being so careful, getting so close–
Zhou Xiwei drops his eyes and feels his blush, as he turns around and allows Shan Haoyu to brush his fingers through his hair and over his ears, as he ties it at the back of his head.
With someone like Shan Haoyu…
Maybe its alright to just be happy? Without apologizing for or overthinking it?
But happiness and whatever butterflies are fluttering around in his gut– those don’t go together with urgent medical errands!
Whatever he’s feeling, however much a small and secret part of him wants to lean into Shan Haoyu’s hands and turn his tying into a caress, now’s not the time or the place for it. So he blushes harder, but he steps away and restrains himself to a squeeze of Shan Haoyu’s delicate bicep. A squeeze that maybe lingers, just a bit. Because maybe he’s already a little weak–
Maybe he’s already being a little self-indulgent.
Because for once, someone’s allowing it.
—
Luck is on their side– there is indeed an entire cath kit, helpfully still in the original (branded) shipping package. It declares itself in bold letters, like it’s just waiting for them to come get it. It’s in the ruins of the old man’s bathroom, and Zhou Xiwei very nearly levitates when he pulls it from beneath the sink and confirms that it has never been opened, and they can bring it to Ding Dongqi without worrying about being responsible for any resulting infections. Really, he feels so competent!
“Shan-ge! Shan-ge, I found it!”
“Shan-ge?” Shan Haoyu steps into the bathroom, eyebrow quirked up and mirth in his voice.
Zhou Xiwei blushes. Oh. Right. Heh.
It seems his wayward thoughts have led him to change Shan Haoyu’s address without being invited to do so.
Awkward! Especially since they haven’t actually worked out seniority, and Zhou Xiwei is just calling based on his own default conventions.
“Ah, well, you know– even if I’m older– and maybe I’m not, hah. You know, it’s really A-Tian’s fault. You’re his ge, so you’re in my head as an older brother, and- and anyway, I never get to be anyone’s ge, so I just- habit.”
He rubs his neck and tries to play it off, as he approaches the doorway. Shan Haoyu lets him pass, but doesn’t let the conversation slip as they exit the small bungalow.
“You can be my ge, if you want.” Shan Haoyu relocks the door and steps behind him, close enough that his voice feels positively intimate, as he rolls the call around in his mouth and draws it out: “Zhou-ge.”
Zhou Xiwei can’t help his shiver.
Or the wildly inappropriate twitch of interest from a certain part of him.
A certain part that they should take care of for Dongqi first, dammit!
That’s why he grabs Shan Haoyu’s hand and drags him away, like they can escape the conversation if they just walk fast enough, even if they’re walking together. He’s definitely just thinking of the mission at hand, and not escaping his own burgeoning interest!
Okay.
Now Shan Haoyu laughs.
And Zhou Xiwei looks back at him, scandalized. And interested. Way too interested, aiiii, but his laugh is even more captivating than his smile, and seemingly– more rare. This mood of his is really… a delicacy after years in the desert. It’s playful. It’s… coy? Can men be coy?
Can men be coy towards him? In this situation, or in any other?!
If Shan Haoyu winks, he’ll actually expire.
“Sorry, sorry. Zhou-ge is just making me feel like an abducted maiden. Now, I’ve been seized from a house, dragged back to his room, and he’s even wearing a face mask. A very novel experience.” Shan Haoyu sounds delighted.
“You- you- stop playing around! You’ll- you’ll be sorry, if everyone thinks you like me.”
They’re still holding hands.
“I won’t be.” Shan Haoyu’s voice is quiet, but confident, and it breaks Zhou Xiwei.
His brain stops working.
Stops working so much that he forgets to take off the handkerchief or even to stop holding hands with Shan Haoyu, even when they enter the dorms, even when Song Bai sees them and raises his newly bandaged hand in greeting.
It’s only when it’s time to open the package that he remembers himself and lets go, cheeks flaming, to pull out the important bits without bringing unnecessary dust into the sickroom. He passes the shrink-wrapped kit over to a delighted Xu Wang, who swears that they’ve done their friend a great service, and goes in to (privately) cath and then wrap a mercifully still unconscious Ding Dongqi.
Shan Haoyu looks innocently pleased with himself.
Like there’s nothing to be ashamed of, in calling him ge or joking about being a maiden or even holding hands with him in front of other men. Like it’s not embarrassing to be connected with him. It makes Zhou Xiwei’s brain crash. Again.
It’s very quiet in the hallway.
—
Eventually, the medic comes out and joins their silent little circle.
He talks about the good and the bad, about how as long as they can keep him from being in pain, and keep it from getting infected, there’s a good chance that Ding Dongqi will survive. And that if they can treat him well enough and dress the wounds perfectly, there’s an okay chance that he’ll have a full recovery, he thinks.
Or at least enough of one to still get the job done, as needed.
Which, given the importance that all men (especially Ding Dongqi) place on their virility… Is pretty damn important. There’s probably more to say, but the medic isn’t a full doctor after all, and they’re not Dongqi’s family, so it’s left unsaid. Left for a mainland doctor to come up with a more complete treatment plan, as long as they can keep him alive and in good spirits long enough for that.
“To that end– when going for the kit, Director Xi mentioned that there was a school infirmary, somewhere that’s a little impassable. He mentioned you’re the one that’s kept the building up, and that you might have a way in?”
Shan Haoyu nods, once more serving beautiful dead fish realness.
“Great. Then, do you think you can lead the way? I want to see what our options are, before he starts screaming and rolling around and rippings things out and off and– so on.”
Shan Haoyu brushes gently past Zhou Xiwei as he leaves.
It’s soft and somehow, it feels like a promise.
Which isn’t something Zhou Xiwei knows how to respond to, so he just blushes. Blushes and wants to volunteer to take the first shift watching Ding Dongqi, to have something else to focus on. But Qian Li, guilty over taking too long to get help, has already claimed the honor, and an equally worried Zhang Zhiping is next in line.
Which just leaves–
Just leaves him and Song Bai. Song Bai who wraps his arm around him and leads him further down the hallway. In the opposite direction of Shan Haoyu.
“Come on, let’s find you a new room. And talk.”
For the first time, perhaps ever, Zhou Xiwei feels a little reluctant to run off with his Song-ge.
Sure enough, today, there must be something wrong with him. But no matter how strange he feels, he’ll still need a place to sleep tonight. As will his sister. He’s going to have to clean. He’s going to have to recreate the triple-decker beds. He might as well have Song Bai’s assistance. Even if he’s got no idea at all, what kind of talk they can have, or who it will be about. Shan Haoyu? Ding Dongqi?
Someone else that he’s not even thinking of?
This time, he’s sure to pick a room that faces the school.
Not- not because he’s trying to turn his life into a romance novel, or to see Shan Haoyu before sleeping, or to turn off their lights at the same time or anything that he might have dreamed about when he was young and had stars in his eyes.
Just- um-
Just for the light? Yeah, just for the light! That’s his story and he’s sticking to it!
It’s also a bonus that this room is a little farther from the bathroom. It will give him an excuse to wake the others up in the morning, and to make sure that they show up to meals on time. Really, he’s thinking of everyone’s best interests.
“Can you help with the mattresses, while I get cleaning supplies?”
“Absolutely I can.” Song Bai likes being helpful, and Zhou Xiwei likes being clean. They split the work and it’s nice and familiar, low stakes and easy, like this is just another vacation rental that they’re personalizing and turning into the ‘boy’s den.’
Even if they won’t be sharing it, there’s a flavor of nostalgia that lowers Zhou Xiwei’s defenses. When he’s well and truly relaxed, the real conversation starts. Song Bai’s always been very good at reading him.
—
The last thing in the world Song Bai wants is for his didi to be taken advantage of.
He wants Zhou Xiwei to be happy, healthy, and strong. In that order. Which probably explains why he’s overprotective. Overprotective to the point that maybe the guys were right, when they pointed out that he sometimes made things worse with his attempts at shielding him.
Doesn’t mean he can stop doing it. As they finish wiping down the walls, he brings it up:
“So, you and that Shan Haoyu are getting along well.”
He notices the blush that creeps up XiXi’s neck. Notices and feels a little stressed over it.
“Yeah. He’s a… really easy person to get along with.”
“Good.” Song Bai sighs and adopts that older brother persona, the one that has caused Zhou Xiwei so much heartache. “But, sometimes, when it’s too easy, that can be a bad sign. There are some people that like to take advantage, financially, or sexually, or-”
“Song-ge!”
“Hey, it’s hard for me to talk about this too! But, you just met. And now he’s holding your hand. And they don’t have much here-”
“But what they have, they’ve shared with us without so much as taking a second glance at Auntie’s jewelry, or everyone’s watches.” Zhou Xiwei’s voice is testy.
Song Bai isn’t used to that tone. Or Zhou Xiwei disagreeing with him.
It’s- it’s not bad. XiXi needs to learn to stick up for himself, and needs to become his own person. Song Bai knows that. And XiXi isn’t being unreasonable. Their rescuers really have conducted themselves with the utmost grace. If anything, they’re the ones that have failed to live up to expectations.
But it’s still uncomfortable.
Uncomfortable to have to convince XiXi, instead of him just trusting him.
“Okay. You’re right. It’s probably just attraction. And that’s- you know that’s fine. But he’s a man from a rough island, and he might hurt you or-”
“Song! Bai!”
“Would it be better for my Dad to have this conversation with you?” That’s the trump card. Yes, giving his didi a sex talk is awkward and unwanted on both ends. But given the state of their school curriculum and the abject horror of having such a conversation with Father Song (who would probably try to convince him to ‘try a girl or ten to be sure’), Song Bai is really Zhou Xiwei’s best hope.
They both know that.
XiXi scrubs harder and shows him his back, but his silence and his bright red ears let Song Bai know he’s hit his mark. “So, I’m just saying- it’s fine to flirt and have a little vacation moment, but you shouldn’t go places alone with him, or let him take advantage. You don’t know where he’s been or-”
XiXi turns around, bright red but determined.
“He’s not dirty just because he’s not rich.”
“I didn’t mean-”
“And, not that it matters, but I don’t think-” Zhou Xiwei looks away, chewing his cheek like he’s debating saying it. Song Bai gently nudges him.
“And?”
“If we ever, not that we would– the impression I got was that I’d be the one, directing it.”
?
??
Oh.
—
When Song Bai first came home from high school and discovered that his younger brother didn’t know how to clear his search history, a few things became clear. And right around that time, he did some research of his own, in case it wasn’t a phase.
So he’d learned a bit about matters between men.
He’d been prepared to make sure he was safe, regardless.
But then XiXi grew up so fucking pretty, and so submissive, and Song Bai just kind of assumed that- Well, to be blunt, he assumed that Zhou Xiwei would only ever be the one below.
Finding out that might not be the case takes a little bit of a recalibration of his metrics, and right or wrong, he finds most of his concerns washed away. It could- could even be good?
He coughs. Excuses himself for a moment, runs back to his room, and grabs a certain something before returning and passing the accordion of foils into Zhou Xiwei’s hand. Fuck, he’s never been more grateful for Ding Dongqi’s bad taste– shoving that pack of condoms at him for his birthday, and them ending up in his pocket during the storm, was really paying off.
“Well, you should still be careful! But in that case, who knows, maybe-”
Maybe it will be good.
Maybe you’ll realize that any strange ideas you have are just puppy love, just a misunderstanding of familial and romantic closeness. Even better, maybe you’ll realize that fucking a boy and fucking a girl isn’t that different, and then you’ll never have to experience the thorns of being a gay man, judged by others and talked about by all those close-minded assholes.
Maybe you’ll have a loving wife and cute kids and we’ll be the best of brothers.
It’s fine if his didi is just built that way. He’s made peace with it. He’ll block for him, no matter what. But it would be great if it turned out he was an omnivore. He’d be happier.
Song Bai is sure of it.
Author’s Corner: Song Bai, I really don’t know what to say about you. On the one hand, you really do love Zhou Xiwei. On the other hand, your ideas about sexuality aren’t as far away from your father’s as you’d like to believe. And sometimes, there’s this small hint that your feelings-
Well, nevermind.
At least Zhou Xiwei and Shan Haoyu got to have a nice day, catheters and all.
They did indeed get to have a nice day, catheters and all!
Alternate title: The Simp Island
Thanks for chapter 🫶🏽
really don’t know what to think about the last part
I kinda like Song Bai. He is trying his best even if he has a LOT of prejudice he is still trying to not hurt anybody. His social circle is very toxic but I don’t think he is ? (For now at least) and the “here some condoms just in case” is such a older sibling move I laughed
I agree. He was willing to slap Zhou Xiting to keep her from drowning and he has Zhou Xiwei’s back without even knowing it could spare him from suffering what Ding Dong is about to wake up to. And he could have just thrown the condoms and run away like I kind of did to my kid 🤭
Oh my gosh, holding hands and laughing and blushing – I’m guessing it’s a first for both of them? They didn’t even need to think about Dig Dongqi getting catheterized to put them in a good mood!
Oh they’re so cute! But Song Bai.. try more to be a better person, even if you’re not the worst o.o
I really like SB as a character. He’s not a saint. He’s not the devil. He just feels very real. Real people have a tendency to suck; but he’s genuinely trying.