Touma looked away and continued to speak slowly, perfectly aware that each word represented a knife slowly slicing at his heart. This entire process was like the ancient ‘one thousand cuts’ torture and Touma was willingly applying it to himself. Not because he wanted a pardon, but because he was guilty to begin with. There was no way he could still ignore his conscience and hide behind the arguments that had worked before.
“That day, I came to put my mind at ease and see that you were alright. You were injured, yes, but at least you were alive. Then, I could lie to myself that it had all been an unfortunate accident and I could continue on the road I have chosen for myself.” Touma smiled self-deprecatingly. “So, you see, there was nothing honorable in that.”
“Mh. That’s reasonable I guess.”
Sato spoke softly, looking down at his hands. Without him even realizing, he had interlocked his fingers and was now squeezing them tightly. Every knuckle on his hand had turned white, but his hands continued to tremble.
“When you threw me out of that hospital room, I actually felt relieved.” Touma continued his recounter. He spoke slowly, like a convict who’s ready to accept his sentence in front of a judge. “If you had allowed me to stay, I would have had to talk and admit to my sins. But since you denied my apologies and wouldn’t listen to anything I said, I comforted myself that it was for the better.”
“But you still tried. Even after that, you still came to me.”
“Yes, because my feelings for you were running deeper than I thought they did.” Touma smiled bitterly. “I just realized when it was too late, that what mattered the most was to be together with you. That everything would have worked out fine if I was by your side.”
“What happened that night, Touma? I remember you told me it was the stress before the audition, but I never believed that.”
“I know you didn’t believe me, but at that time I didn’t want to talk about it. It was too painful to admit that I was too weak and that I had been abandoned by my father in my darkest hour.”
Sato’s eyes widened and he stopped wringing his fingers. He looked at Touma fixedly, his mouth opening slightly.
“Touma, what exactly happened?”
Touma hesitated, avoiding Sato’s eyes.
“I want to know everything that happened.” Sato stated firmly, startling Touma out of his daze. “This is the reason why I wanted to meet with you. All those years ago, I already told you all about my family. How my mom died in that accident, how my father didn’t want to have anything to do with me anymore after that because I looked too much like her. You already knew my family situation, so how could you even think of keeping something like this to yourself? We had been friends since we were kids. We grew up together. Then we became something more. I thought I was your partner, your lover, someone whom you could depend on. I thought I knew everything there was about you, be it your family situation or how you didn’t get along with your father. Was I the only one who thought that? Was I the only one who trusted you? In the end, who was I to you, Touma, that you decided to hide away from me?”
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
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Like two pieces of transparent glass, Touma could almost see his reflection in Sato’s eyes. His own eyes widened slightly, staring back as if hypnotized. It took him a long time before he found his voice. Then, he finally said what had been weighing him down for so long.
~~~
One year and a half ago.
“I’m sorry Kishi-san, but she needs to undergo surgery as soon as possible. Otherwise, I cannot make any guarantees.”
“Can’t anything else be done? Like medicine or other kind of treatment?”
“Even if she takes medicine, at this stage it’s not enough to save her life. It can prolong it by a few months, at most. Surgery is her only chance.”
“I understand. Thank you, doctor.”
After talking to the medic, Touma left the hospital. It was already late in the evening and the sky was beginning to darken. Streaks of deep indigo were mixed with a dark purple, dying the few clouds in a depressing color. This gloomy firmament mirrored Touma’s internal turmoil.
“Tsk. Damnit!”
He stopped a few steps away from the hospital’s main entrance and took a few deep breaths to calm down.
Just a few days ago he had been told that his mother was very ill. Her condition had a chance at getting better with the proper treatment, but she first needed surgery. There’s no need to even mention just how expensive this whole thing would be.
Touma came from a single-parent household. His parents divorced when he was in middle school and his father soon remarried, making a new family.
Touma hated him for leaving his mother and him. He always considered that the man had been a coward and didn’t want to have anything to do with him. However, seeing how dire the current situation was, the twenty-something year-old Touma gritted his teeth and went to his father to ask for help.
“I cannot help you, Touma.” His father interrupted even before he could finish what he had to say. “My wife is pregnant with our second child and there’s just no way I can spare the money right now. I’m sorry but I have my own family to take care of.”
“Your… Your own family?” Touma choked out, trembling with suppressed anger. “Then what are we? What am I to you, father?”
“If it’s for you of course I will help. But she… I have nothing to do with her anymore. Besides, back then, she was the one who chose this path for herself.” His father spoke coldly.
“You mean to say she chose this? YOU ABANDONED HER! YOU ABANDONED US TO RUN AWAY WITH ANOTHER WOMAN!”
Touma couldn’t hold back his voice any longer. His shouts reverberated through the air, ringing in his own ears even moments after his voice faded.
“Touma…”
“You’re a fucking bastard! I hate you!”
After throwing those last words, Touma turned on his heels and ran away from that place. His pace became faster with each step he took, as if he was fleeing from a hoard of monsters. When he finally stopped, his legs were shaking so badly, it was a miracle he could still stand.
Looking around to see where he was, Touma saw a small playground a little distance away. He dragged his tired body towards that place and eventually collapsed faceup on a bench. Both his soul and body felt battered, as if he had just gone through a bloody battle.
“What am I supposed to do now?” He whispered into the air.
His eyes suddenly began to sting and tears started forming. A moment later, his vision became blurry and he couldn’t see anything. Choking back a sob, Touma raised an arm to cover his tearstained face.
“Fuck!”
As the situation stood right now, his only chance was to get the part in director Kayashima’s production. With the money from appearing in that movie he could at least pay a part of his mother’s medical expenses until he could save up more. But was there any way of achieving that with his current skills? When he was faced with Sato’s innate talent, he simply wasn’t confident enough that he could win.
Suddenly, his troubled mind gave him an answer.
A second later he sprang to his feet, feeling a wave of excitement course through his body. Even his breathing accelerated. Yes, there it was, the light at the end of the tunnel.
“That’s right. I still haven’t given ‘that’ person my answer. I wonder if the offer is still valid, though.”
While half of his mind was trying to stop him, telling him it was wrong to do that, the other half, mainly the desperate half, considered that it couldn’t be helped. It wasn’t like he was hurting Sato physically. It was just a few rumors and gossip. Just enough to ensure he wouldn’t get chosen for the role.
Lying to himself like this, justifying his actions behind the mask of desperation, Touma took the path of no return. What he was about to do was slander and it was wrong, no matter how one looked at it.
Without wasting another second, he wiped his red eyes with a sleeve and pulled his phone out. He dialed a number with shaking hands and waited for the other person to pick up.
A few seconds later, the call connected and a male voice travelled from the other end.
“Kishi-kun, what do I owe the pleasure of this surprising call?”
The sound of the man’s voice sounded disgusting to his ears. However, it was too late to back down now. He took a slow, deep breath, pushing all other thoughts to the back of his mind. He steeled his resolution against the apprehension he was feeling and told himself that it couldn’t be helped. Right now, he had to do everything he could in order to save his mother. That was his priority and it didn’t matter what were the means he had to use in order to succeed.
“Sasaki-san, do you still want to know about Imamura Sato?”
A/N: And now we know what Touma actually did back then, and how the rumors came to be. Pitiable? Perhaps. Wrong? Most certainly. Deserving of being forgiven? Who knows?
Personally- I would not forgive him. Sato most definitely will- though.
Sato saw him as his partner and would have shared his struggles with him- I am sure of it. But Touma chose this path- so…
Thanks for the chapter <3
Mn, because Sato is like that. And besides, moving on sometimes means having to part with your grudge and bad feelings. You cannot heal if you hold onto your past. You need to treasure it, learn from it, but never drown with it.
And yes, Touma chose this route. Instead of mutual sharing he chose climbing by himself. Too bad… but lucky for Asakura 🤭
<333
Even after hearing his part of the story, I still can’t forgive him for what he did but if it’s makes Sato feel better…
Btw, who’s Sasaki-san? 👀
Thank you for the chapter <3
He will feel better after putting this part of his past behind him. Turning the page and beginning a new one can only be done in this way.
Hmm, a troublesome character. Maybe he will appear in the future as well 🤔 Still haven’t decided how much I dislike him though XD
<333
Honestly, it’s stupid. Why not just ask his boyfriend for money to heal his mother? And promise to give it back? It’s all family anyway, Sato would definitely agree. Better than hurting him