Thank you for the ko-fi Snow 
you’re so sweet 🥺🫶
The area around the fountain was lively with couples taking photos and children running around. The sunlight reflected a rainbow in the high spray of water. Xu Ze felt surreal walking through the crowd with Lu Heyang under the bright sun. Perhaps it was because they had been continuously talking on the phone for over a month, which made it strangely feel like meeting an online friend in person.
Lu Heyang took off his military jacket and draped it over his arm. Xu Ze thought for a moment and asked, “Do you want to take a walk along the scenic path by the sea?”
Amidst the noise, Lu Heyang seemed not to hear clearly, “What?”
“Want to go to the beach?” Xu Ze came closer and asked again.
“Anywhere is fine, you decide.”
After walking a few dozen meters through the woods of the park, they reached the sea. The surroundings instantly quieted down, leaving only the sounds of the wind and the tide.
“Have you gotten used to living here?”
“Mn.” Xu Ze nodded, “It feels like I’ve just changed labs.”
For someone like Xu Ze, who wasn’t into socializing and entertainment, it didn’t make much difference where he lived.
“This place is better than the capital,” Lu Heyang said, “There’s plenty of good food, so remember to eat more.”
For the past month, Xu Ze had eaten almost exclusively in the cafeteria of the research institute, and it seemed that he would continue to do so. However, Xu Ze still calmly agreed, “All right.”
He glanced at his watch, then looked not far away to the right, and asked Lu Heyang, “Do you want some juice?”
“Sure.”
“I’ll go buy it,” Xu Ze said and left without wasting any time.
Lu Heyang’s eyes followed Xu Ze’s figure as he stopped at the shop about ten meters to the right and watched him wait by the side after placing the order. Xu Ze was simply “waiting”, not playing with his phone, not looking around, just checking the time occasionally, even though the juice preparation time was very short.
Xu Ze bought two cups of green grape juice because he had seen Lu Heyang drinking it in high school. Coincidentally, this shop was best known for its green grape juice. He also bought an egg tart, which he carried in a separate paper bag in his right hand.
After getting everything, Xu Ze looked up to see Lu Heyang standing with one hand resting on the railing as he answered a call. The wind ruffled his hair and fluttered the military uniform hanging on the railing.
It was a short call. When Xu Ze was halfway there, Lu Heyang put the communicator back on his waist and looked at him.
Xu Ze quickened his pace as they locked eyes. After a few more steps, a huge seagull swooped down from the side and snatched the egg tart out of Xu Ze’s hand with terrifying speed. Its wings even slapped his head. Xu Ze stopped abruptly midway and stared at the empty crumpled paper bag in his hand, then at the seagull that had flown away.
Lu Heyang picked up his military uniform and walked over to Xu Ze, seizing his wrist to check for scratches.
“My colleague warned me to be careful of seagulls when eating here,” Xu Ze realized, “I forgot.”
“As long as you’re not hurt,” Lu Heyang failed to hold back a laugh, “What did the seagull take?”
“An egg tart. I was going to ask if you wanted to eat it.”
“No worries, I’ll stick to the juice.”
Xu Ze nodded and took out one of the cups of green grape juice. As Lu Heyang reached for it, Xu Ze noticed two or three needle marks on the back of his hand with the newest one surrounded by a faint greenish tint.
It was difficult for Xu Ze to maintain his composure and pretend that he hadn’t seen them. He stared at Lu Heyang’s hand for several seconds before finally looking away.
As they continued forward, the number of pedestrians around them gradually decreased. Xu Ze slowed his pace and fell slightly behind Lu Heyang. He glanced at the back of Lu Heyang’s neck, and under the collar of his shirt, he could see a few needle marks on Lu Heyang’s glands.
“What’s up?” Lu Heyang turned around.
“Nothing.” Xu Ze walked back beside him.
The two of them eventually stopped in front of a fence. Waves crashed against the rocks below. Xu Ze looked at his watch again—he hadn’t talked much with Lu Heyang, but almost half an hour had passed. This countdown-like encounter had happened once many years ago. Xu Ze felt uneasy as it had left a deep impression on him.
“You don’t have to keep checking the time.” Lu Heyang raised his hand and gently stroked Xu Ze’s back, “I’m not here to say goodbye. We’ll see each other many times in the future.”
The hand seemed to also support his unsettled heart. Xu Ze asked, “Will we?”
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
“We will,” Lu Heyang reassured him.
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Since Xu Ze wanted a perfect score, he needed Lu Heyang’s suggestions for improvement.
“Because ninety is the perfect score,” Lu Heyang looked at him from the side and told him, “Dr. Xu, from the moment you offered to call me the first time, it was a full score.”
Xu Ze showed the same expression as when the seagull snatched his food and slapped his head with its wings. He heard himself ask Lu Heyang, “Are you happy when I call?”
“Mn, I’m happy,” Lu Heyang said, “I look forward to your calls every day, and I will continue to wait, so don’t forget.”
This caught Xu Ze by surprise. He didn’t have high expectations when he learned that Lu Heyang was undergoing memory recovery treatment. Simply because Lu Heyang took the first step, he would do the same. Keeping in touch and calling him every day wasn’t to track Lu Heyang’s treatment progress or to test if he had recovered any memories. Xu Ze just thought that the treatment was tough. There were 24 hours in a day, and a few minutes of phone calls every night wouldn’t take up much of Lu Heyang’s time, but it could fulfill Xu Ze’s desire to be with him.
It was just that Xu Ze didn’t know that Lu Heyang was also waiting for his calls and that he would be happy because of them.
Suddenly, Xu Ze realized that every decision had meaning, just like an opportunity. Before Lu Heyang decided to get treatment or before Xu Ze decided to stay in touch, even when he kissed Lu Heyang, he felt uncertain and restless. But today, when Lu Heyang said he was happy, Xu Ze felt a sense of fulfillment and realness, as if his entire being had been replenished.
The bubble that would burst with a poke turned into a bulging sack of rice. Xu Ze didn’t notice that he was smiling and promised Lu Heyang, “I’ll call you every day from now on.”
After saying this, his phone rang by chance. Xu Ze apologized to Lu Heyang and then answered a call from a colleague asking where some documents were.
As Lu Heyang saw that their conversation didn’t seem to be coming to an end anytime soon, he took out his phone and wanted to tell Gu Yunchi that he could go to the military district first if he didn’t want to wait. However, he discovered that Gu Yunchi had sent a file over half an hour ago. It was named with a series of numbers that represented a date in late summer eight years ago.
Lu Heyang opened the document, his fingertips gliding slowly across the screen. He paused on a certain page for at least fifteen seconds before continuing to scroll down.
After hanging up, Xu Ze checked the call duration—just over four minutes. It was short, but receiving a call during his meeting with Lu Heyang still made him feel a little pained.
When he turned around, he saw Lu Heyang looking at his phone with slightly furrowed brows. Xu Ze asked, “Is something wrong?”
Lu Heyang had just finished reading the last page. He shifted his gaze from the screen to Xu Ze’s face.
Xu Ze didn’t quite understand the look in Lu Heyang’s eyes, so he asked again, “What’s wrong?”
“Yunchi sent me a medical report,” Lu Heyang looked at him and said, “I don’t understand it.”
“If it’s convenient, you can show it to me,” Xu Ze suggested. Even though it seemed odd that Gu Yunchi, who had both military and private doctors, would send a medical report to Lu Heyang.
Lu Heyang handed his phone to Xu Ze, “Sorry to bother you.”
When Xu Ze looked at the first page, he felt that something was strange. This wasn’t the format of military hospitals’ medical reports. He skipped over the less important parts like height, weight, and eyesight, and scrolled to the blood test and pheromone indexes. Most of the readings were normal, but the abnormal ones were too abnormal. It wasn’t until he saw the diagnosis in the ultrasound report, that the words “false pregnancy” crashed into the distant memories in his mind. Xu Ze stiffly scrolled to the last page, where the name “Gu Yunchi” was signed in his own handwriting.
He tapped the top of the screen and went back to the first page. There, after the colon next to age, was the clear number 17.
The sea breeze drowned out all other sounds for Xu Ze. He fumbled for the lock screen button to turn off the phone before handing it back to Lu Heyang.
Lu Heyang took the phone and put it back in his pocket. Then he asked Xu Ze, “Where’s the child?”
“…There’s no child,” Xu Ze said as if he had returned to that night when Lu Heyang discovered the pregnancy test. He lowered his eyes and continued, “It was just a false pregnancy.”
At this moment, Xu Ze realized that the disappointment and emptiness from back then were still there.
He thought Lu Heyang would ask him, “Why didn’t you tell me the truth earlier?” or say, “Don’t lie to me in the future”, but there was none of that. Lu Heyang simply extended his hand to him.
Xu Ze raised his eyes and hesitantly stood still for two seconds. Then he took a step toward Lu Heyang, awkwardly wrapped his arms around Lu Heyang’s waist, and buried his face in Lu Heyang’s shoulder.
By the sea in a foreign land, where no one recognized them, Xu Ze held on to this embrace with peace of mind.
Lu Heyang hugged Xu Ze. His right hand slid from Xu Ze’s back up to his nape, caressing him gently, and said “Give me a little more time.”
Xu Ze realized that Lu Heyang had guessed that he knew about the treatment, but maintained the unspoken understanding. He responded, “It’s okay.”
It was okay if it took a long time. It was okay if he never remembered in the end. Xu Ze had prepared for the worst and lived with this mindset for many years. Having relinquished all expectations, he had complete patience in the matter of “waiting”.
Even being able to hug Lu Heyang again like this was the best outcome Xu Ze could imagine.
The orange glow of the setting sun covered the sea. From afternoon to evening, Xu Ze and Lu Heyang walked the entire scenic route for more than two hours. Gu Yunchi sent a message to tell Lu Heyang that the car was waiting at the exit.
They had to go through a small path to get to the exit. When they were about a third of the way there, Xu Ze plucked up the courage and reached out to hold Lu Heyang’s hand with his heart pounding. Lu Heyang glanced at Xu Ze and grabbed his hand back.
In less than two minutes, Xu Ze deliberately let go of Lu Heyang’s hand before the end of the trail. In a split second, he saw the military vehicle parked nearby under the trees and worried that he had let go too late.
“Rest early tonight,” Xu Ze said.
Following the five-hour flight early in the morning and being unable to take a nap after the meeting, Xu Ze increasingly felt that he was the culprit for interfering with Lu Heyang’s rest.
“I’ll rest after our call,” Lu Heyang raised his hand and brushed his hand against the side of Xu Ze’s neck, “I’ll head out first.”
“Mn.”
After getting into the car, Lu Heyang lowered the window and waved to Xu Ze. Xu Ze stood in the sunset and looked at him without turning around.
As the car started moving, Captain Yu dozed off in the front passenger seat. Gu Yunchi looked at his phone and remarked, “I wonder how others would feel if they knew that Colonel Lu spent two hours walking with someone.”
“Dr. Xu’s time is also valuable,” Lu Heyang said. The entire car was filled with the scent of bread. He glanced at the back and saw a half-meter-high package of unidentified substance.
“Are those all croissants?” he asked.
“I bought eighty of them,” Gu Yunchi replied without lifting his head, “If he likes them, let him eat to his heart’s content.”
—
The need for secret phone calls became more frequent as the current project was about to enter the critical stage of submission. Xu Ze spent whole days in front of the computer in the lab. The few minutes he spent talking to Lu Heyang in the corridor at night became his most relaxed moments. Xu Ze felt in a way that Lu Heyang was actually with him.
Spring arrived in S City earlier than in the capital. In less than two months, Xu Ze had completely taken off his winter clothes, while the biting cold wind of the capital remained. Even Chi Jiahan complained on the phone that this year’s winter seemed unusually long.
Around 10 pm, Xu Ze was sorting out test data when the door suddenly swung open. A colleague appeared holding up a phone and said mysteriously, “What should we do? There’s a traitor among us.”
In front of everyone, he pointed straight at Xu Ze, “Congratulations, you’ve won this year’s Union ‘Future Doctor’ award!”
Before Xu Ze could react, several of his colleagues hugged his shoulders and waist and patted him on the back. They were clamoring for him to treat them to a meal. When Huang Liling walked in and saw them like this, he laughed, “How come you guys are more informed than me?”
The Future Doctor was the highest honor for medical students across all military medical universities within the Union. It wasn’t open to application, and the winners were usually selected from among doctoral candidates based on various criteria such as journal publications, study projects, clinical rotations, and frontline support.
“Professor, is this confirmed? If so, let Xu Ze invite everyone for a late-night snack after work tonight.”
“It’s confirmed,” Huang Liling said, “As for the late-night snack, you can ask Xu Ze.”
Xu Ze was still stunned and said, “No problem.”
After chatting for a while, everyone went back to their work. Xu Ze was distracted. After he finished his data work, he went out into the corridor. He sent a message to Lu Heyang to ask if it was convenient to call.
In the past, he would receive a reply within half a minute, but this time there was no reply. Xu Ze waited for five minutes. He guessed that Lu Heyang must be busy, so he sent another message: I think I won an award. I’ll treat everyone to a late-night snack later and probably won’t be able to call tonight, so I’ll talk to you tomorrow.
Xu Ze didn’t receive Lu Heyang’s message until he returned to the apartment after the late-night snack with his colleagues: Okay, make sure to rest.
Lu Heyang didn’t ask about the award, probably because he wasn’t interested. It was after midnight, and Xu Ze resisted the urge to reply. After getting ready for bed, he went to sleep.
Xu Ze was awakened by the ringing of his phone. He thought it was dawn, but there was no light coming in through the seams of the curtain. He groggily answered the phone, “Hello?”
The breathing on the other end was heavy. Xu Ze immediately woke up, “Colonel?”
“I woke you up,” Lu Heyang said.
The rain and distant thunder rumbled through the phone. Xu Ze sat up in bed, “What’s wrong?”
“I had a nightmare.”
It was 3:30 in the morning. Xu Ze didn’t believe that Lu Heyang would call him at this time just because of a nightmare. He tried his best not to make any other assumptions and asked softly, “What was the dream about?”
“I forgot when I woke up.” Lu Heyang’s voice was low, “You mentioned winning an award. What award was it?”
“It’s ‘Future Doctor’. There’s an award ceremony in two weeks.”
“Congratulations.” Lu Heyang’s breathing became more relaxed, “The situation in the western war zone hasn’t been great lately. Have you received a notice for support?”
“I’ve confirmed that I’m ready to be on standby.” Xu Ze said, “After submitting the project, I shouldn’t be too busy for a while.”
“So, you’re the Future Doctor,” Lu Heyang seemed to laugh.
Xu Ze lay back down and listened to the continuous rain on the other end of the phone as if it was raining in this city as well. He said, “Is this call counted as today?”
“It’s from yesterday. Call me again tonight for today’s call.”
Xu Ze was satisfied. Lulled by the sound of rain, he half-closed his eyes and mumbled, “Then I can check off yesterday now.”
“What are you checking off?”
“A checkmark for every phone call.”
“Do you do this every day?”
“Mn.”
After asking and answering, Xu Ze didn’t remember how he drifted off to sleep in the end. All he remembered was that Lu Heyang said “Good night” and he replied “Good night” as well. Yet, it seemed like a long time later that Xu Ze vaguely heard the “beep” when the call was hung up.
Half a month later, the Future Doctor medal award ceremony was held as scheduled. There were only nine awardees in total from various military medical universities in the Union.
Huang Liling was dressed even more formally than the award-winning Xu Ze, but his expression was grim.
“Setting off to the war zone at 2 am, Xu Ze, you’re really something.” He could barely catch his breath, “You’ll head straight to the battlefield after receiving the award and having dinner with everyone, is that it?”
“It won’t be dangerous because I’m heading to the central military hospital in the war zone, which isn’t exactly the frontlines,” Xu Ze reassured him.
Huang Liling waved his hand, not wanting to talk anymore. He grabbed his thermos to take a sip of tea and walked over to the leaders’ seats.
Xu Ze was the third to go on the stage. He looked dignified and clean in the black suit jacket with the brand-new white coat. The presenter was a medical general from the Union’s main military district.
The badge of honor with Xu Ze’s name and school was pinned to his white coat. Xu Ze accepted the trophy and bowed to the general as the cameras flashed.
The individual acceptance speeches followed the award ceremony. Seizing the moment, Xu Ze took a picture of the trophy and sent it to Lu Heyang and Chi Jiahan. He didn’t have many people to share his joy with. Chi Jiahan had always been one of them, and now Lu Heyang was one of them as well.
Chi Jiahan replied quickly: If I wasn’t tied up in the hospital, I’d be able to touch your trophy right now.
After about ten minutes, it was Xu Ze’s turn to take the stage. He was well-versed in giving acceptance speeches. With the spotlight on him, he felt no nervousness, and his voice was smooth and clear. Huang Liling sat in the audience, half worried and half proud, watching his calm and intelligent student.
As he watched, Huang Liling noticed that this calm and intelligent student seemed a bit off.
At first, Xu Ze had looked down slightly, focusing on the center of the audience. But out of nowhere, a figure in his peripheral vision caught his eye and oddly drew his attention to the right.
The fluent speech paused for a second before continuing. Xu Ze thought he might have been mistaken, so he subtly turned his head to the right.
In the dim light, the alpha was dressed simply, holding a bouquet of pure white flowers in his arms. He stood outside the auditorium with a faint smile on his face, resembling a scene from a memory.
From a distance, Xu Ze locked eyes with him and finished his acceptance speech with a rapid heartbeat.
As the speech ended, the lights in the venue brightened, illuminating Lu Heyang’s face and eyes—Xu Ze could finally see the look in Lu Heyang’s eyes as the last word echoed.
He suddenly froze and his ears were ringing. He even forgot to bow and was about to walk off the stage. The host stepped forward in time and reminded Xu Ze that there were still a few questions that he needed to answer.
The questions had been discussed beforehand, and Xu Ze answered them without thinking. He was escorted back to his original spot. When he looked back, Lu Heyang had already disappeared, leaving only the slightly swaying door.
The memory of what happened next on the stage didn’t enter Xu Ze’s mind. It wasn’t until he stepped off the stage that his mind began to function again. Instead of going backstage, Xu Ze walked directly out the door at the side of the auditorium.
He ran down the empty corridor until the end and exited through a side door. Outside, dim street lights cast shadows on the swaying trees. Xu Ze stood at the side of the road and gasped for breath, suspecting that he had just been dreaming. He didn’t want it to be just a dream.
Behind him, there was a faint sound of plastic rubbing. In early spring, Xu Ze unexpectedly caught a whiff of gardenias.
“Xu Ze.”
Translator’s note:
Rip egg tart 🫡
His memory is back!! Omg, it’s been a long time since he called him ‘Xu Ze’ 😭😍
‘Perseverance’, that’s the word…
Xu Ze and Lu persevered, so happy to read that its gonna be a good ending 💐❤🤗
Thanks for the new chapter
C’mon don’t keep me in suspense…did he get his memories back??!
Thank you for the chapter ☺️
OHHH HE CALLED HIM XU ZE! This never happened even after they kissed😭 So its highly likely that he remembers now
this seagull was pretty violent lmao