Lu Heyang continued to stare at the phone until the screen went off. After a long while, he picked up the wine glass again, but instead of drinking, he asked, “Is there anything else?”
“There is.” Jiang Wen took a USB flash drive from his pocket and placed it on the coffee table. After a pause, he said, “But think carefully before listening.”
He rarely advised Lu Heyang on what to do and had almost never done so. It was just that the contents of this recording might not be suitable for the present Lu Heyang. Perhaps ignorance would be better.
From an outsider’s perspective, if Lu Heyang couldn’t regain his memories but got back together with Xu Ze, the best way to deal with the truth about Xu Ze’s father’s death would be not to mention it. Relationships occasionally require a certain degree of “the less trouble, the better” to make things easier.
Given Xu Ze’s personality, he would never bring it up, thereby ensuring this fact remained concealed for a lifetime, which was potentially a good thing.
Lu Heyang stared at the USB stick for a few seconds without answering. He reached for the decanter and poured another half glass for Jiang Wen.
They didn’t stop drinking until it was almost dawn. Jiang Wen went to the guest room to rest while Lu Heyang got up and walked slowly to the floor-to-ceiling windows. He opened his phone and dialed a number.
He probably wasn’t fully sober. After dialing, he realized it was too early in the morning and hung up immediately.
Not long after, his phone rang. Lu Heyang was stunned for a rare moment before answering.
“…” The other end was silent for a second, then said uncertainly, “Colonel?”
The voice was the same as those four “Happy Birthdays” in the recordings as if it would never change no matter how much time passed.
“Did I wake you?”
“No, I’m already up. I just got back after washing up and saw a missed call.” Xu Ze asked, “Is something wrong?”
“Hmm, not really.”
Xu Ze seemed to mull over these three words for a while, then finally asked, “Have you been drinking?”
“Yes.”
“How—”
He only said one word, but it was easy to imagine that the complete sentence would be, “How did you end up drinking until now?” However, Xu Ze seemed to realize that asking such a question was crossing a line, so he just said, “Your rut just ended, take care of yourself.”
“Okay, got it. Thank you.”
They remained silent for half a minute. Then Lu Heyang said, “Dr. Xu, go back to your busy schedule. I apologize for disturbing you so early.”
“No, it’s okay.”
The formal and distant conversation ended. Lu Heyang turned back to the sofa, picked up the USB drive from the coffee table, and went to the bedroom.
The weather was nice the next day. Lu Heyang went back to the base. After handling matters, Lu Heyang drove out and passed through the Westside to reach the old town.
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
The roads and street signs showed signs of renovation but the buildings remained old. Lu Heyang slowed down, lowered the window, and surveyed the unfamiliar surroundings. Following the navigator, he drove through several intersections and entered an old residential area.
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It had a security door and a wooden door. Surprisingly, the inner door seemed to be slightly ajar, with a ray of light shining through the crack.
Jiang Wen had told Lu Heyang in advance that this was a vacant house that wasn’t for sale or rent. Lu Heyang reached through the railing and unlocked the security door. The surroundings were so quiet that the creaking of the door seemed abrupt. Lu Heyang pushed the wooden door and entered the house.
The living room was remarkably empty, containing only a small dining table, a chair, a trash can, and an old radio. There were no other furnishings and it was clean. Yet it didn’t give the impression of being uninhabited for a long time. Instead, it felt more like the owner had temporarily gone out to buy groceries and forgotten to lock the door.
After standing in the living room for a few minutes, Lu Heyang went to the bedroom. The door was unlocked and opened as he pressed the handle. Lu Heyang walked in and saw the curtains were wide open, filling the entire room with bright sunlight. The brown tree branches were visible outside the window. Lu Heyang’s eyes swept over the wardrobe, the desk, the chair, and the electric fan covered with a plastic bag to prevent dust, and finally landed on the bed partially blocked by the wardrobe.
He walked over to the desk and looked at the bed on the opposite side. The bed was neatly covered with a mattress. The thick blanket bulged into a lump, rhythmically rising and falling in a regular pattern. A few strands of black hair peeked out from under the covers, resting peacefully on the pillow.
—
The rotation in respiratory medicine had ended. With the possibility of going to a research institute abroad next semester, Xu Ze stopped applying for rotations and returned to the Pheromone and Hematology Department on paper. He occasionally visited a few times a week and spent most of his time in the laboratory of the Military Medical University.
Xu Ze unexpectedly found himself with the day off today, as there was no urgent lab work or need to visit the 195th Hospital. In the morning, he came to the old town. He took the blanket to the roof to dry before going shopping and cooking. After eating and cleaning up alone, he went upstairs to get the blanket and spread it on the bed. He took off his outer clothes and slipped into bed to sleep.
Over the past few years, Xu Ze had developed a strange habit—napping in his old house. Perhaps due to lack of sleep in his youth and the relentless schedule during medical school, he considered napping a hobby. However, he was usually too busy, and the opportunity to indulge in this hobby was infrequent, sometimes occurring only once every few months.
There was another reason, which had been proven by practice. Xu Ze found that when he slept here, he was more likely to dream about Lu Heyang.
The clearest dream he had was last summer. Right in this small room, the curtains were fluttering in the wind, and a faint scent of gardenias filled the air. Lu Heyang was sitting at the desk in his school uniform. As he turned on the electric fan, he said softly, “It might take a while. It doesn’t matter if you don’t wait.”
Lu Heyang was still the 18-year-old Lu Heyang, but Xu Ze could sense that he was not the 18-year-old Xu Ze.
As the fan blew, Xu Ze sat on the edge of the bed. Even though he knew the outcome, knew that they would eventually be separated, and even realized that this was just a dream, he still nodded without hesitation. Just like countless times in reality when he was stubborn, he answered, “I will wait.”
When Xu Ze woke up from the dream, he remained stunned for a long time. By then, he hadn’t seen Lu Heyang for nearly six years, so his dreams could only conjure up the high school version of Lu Heyang.
At times, Xu Ze didn’t quite understand himself when he clung to these distant and illusory things without a clear objective.
He endlessly replayed memories, to the point where he could hardly find any new details. Even the sparse encounters within his dreams didn’t bring him joy. On the contrary, it left him feeling desolate. However, if he wanted to catch a glimpse of Lu Heyang, this seemed to be the only way.
He returned to the misery of his youth to see him again.
Xu Ze didn’t dream about anything today. He opened his eyes and felt the warmth and tranquility of the blanket with the distinct scent of freshly sun-dried cloth. He rolled over to stick his head out and took a deep breath.
Halfway through the inhalation, he abruptly stopped. Xu Ze stared at the alpha leaning against the desk in astonishment, wondering if he hadn’t woken up but had fallen into a second layer of dreams.
However, the person in front of him didn’t seem to be the high school Lu Heyang. He was taller, more mature, and different from the appearance of his previous dreams.
Xu Ze slowly sat up from the bed while staring at Lu Heyang. He was unable to fathom how Lu Heyang knew about this place and why he came here—Xu Ze thought of one possibility.
Xu Ze looked at Lu Heyang’s eyes extremely earnestly, trying to find evidence. After a long time, he gradually relaxed his tense shoulders and his upper body bent slightly as if he was slouching. It was unclear whether this was a sign of relaxation or disappointment; Xu Ze’s emotions were often hard to read.
“The front door wasn’t properly closed,” Lu Heyang said.
After a moment of thought, Xu Ze realized that when he came back with the blanket, he had used his shoulder to push the door. He thought he had closed it properly, but apparently not.
“It doesn’t matter,” he reassured Lu Heyang, turning the situation around, “There’s nothing of value here anyway.”
It was just one step away from an empty house, so even a thief might leave ten bucks before leaving.
Lu Heyang reminded him, “An S-level alpha can be sold for at least one million on the black market.”
It was a joke, but Xu Ze couldn’t find the expected humor on Lu Heyang’s face. He felt it was unusual, standing there was neither the Lu Heyang with memories nor the Lu Heyang who had completely lost his memories. It was subtly peculiar.
“Colonel,” he said it for Lu Heyang but also himself. Xu Ze asked, “How do you know about this place?”
“Someone told me.”
Without mentioning a name such as He Wei or Gu Yunchi, it meant that it was someone whose name he didn’t know. It was most likely a former bodyguard since they were able to tell the door number accurately. Xu Ze’s confidence began to waver. He suspected that Lu Heyang had found out about the past. But why would he come to his house after finding out?
As an unappealing part of Lu Heyang’s life, he should logically be ranked at the bottom.
Xu Ze slipped out of the blanket to get out of bed and put on the sweater at the foot of the bed. He didn’t continue to ask Lu Heyang why he came and just said, “I’ll get you a glass of water.”
“Okay, thanks.”
Xu Ze fetched a glass of warm water from the kitchen and returned to the room. Lu Heyang was still standing by the desk. Xu Ze handed him the water glass and hesitated before asking, “Is your vacation about to end?”
“Yeah, today’s the last day.”
When Lu Heyang took the glass, Xu Ze briefly touched his fingers, which were a little icy. As a result, Xu Ze looked at Lu Heyang’s collar and tried to count how many layers he was wearing.
“Do you often come back here?” Lu Heyang asked as he looked at Xu Ze’s face.
“Not often.” Xu Ze averted his gaze and explained, “I just happened to be free today, so I came back to cook and take a nap.”
An empty house, no family awaiting his return, and no one preparing a table of reunion dishes—even in such a lonely and incomplete home, Xu Ze would travel halfway across the capital whenever he had time, cooking, cleaning, and then quietly taking a nap and leaving when it got dark.
Originally, this might have been hard to understand but Lu Heyang understood it now.
Some people were just like that, unwavering over the years. They wouldn’t change—whether it was their voice, their expression, their eyes, or the character of patiently waiting without expectations.
Was it still considered waiting when you weren’t expecting anything? Did it feel exhausting—these were questions for Xu Ze but now wasn’t the time.
After a long silence, Lu Heyang smiled, “I woke you up.”
The strange feeling inside Xu Ze finally subsided when he saw Lu Heyang smile. His expression lightened. He pursed his lips and said, “No, I didn’t hear any noise. I only saw you when I woke up.”
To wake up in this house and find someone you’ve only seen in dreams since you were 18 standing before you—what a wonderful thing.
Lu Heyang continued to look at Xu Ze and asked, “When are you leaving?”
“A little later.” Xu Ze turned to look out the window, “When the sun goes down.”
At that second, Lu Heyang wanted to reach out to pinch Xu Ze’s neck and turn his head to look into his eyes. However, before this desire fully materialized, Xu Ze turned his head back, and those deep gray eyes met Lu Heyang’s gaze again.
“It’s still early,” Xu Ze added.
“I’ll get going. I’ve bothered you today.”
“Not at all,” Xu Ze reiterated.
Before leaving the room, Lu Heyang drank the half glass of water that Xu Ze had given him. Xu Ze sent him to the door. After stepping out, Lu Heyang turned around and looked at Xu Ze for a few seconds. In those seconds, Xu Ze was certain that Lu Heyang had something to say. But in the end, Lu Heyang just raised his hand and lightly touched Xu Ze’s face with his hand.
Lu Heyang walked downstairs without saying anything. Xu Ze watched him disappear around the corner of the stairs before closing the door. He returned to his room and stood by the window looking down.
He saw Lu Heyang walk from beneath the leafless trees, get into his car, and drive out of sight.
Lu Heyang drove past the apartment building but parked the car under the perimeter wall within the residential complex and picked up his phone to make a call.
“Hello, Colonel.”
“Dr. Su, will you be coming to the capital soon?”
“I’ll be coming over in a week. Is there something you need?”
“You listed some treatment options for me a long time ago. I wonder if you still remember.”
“I do,” Su Li’an replied, “But as you should recall, I explained at the time that those options carry significant risks. The military wouldn’t approve of you trying them.”
“Mn,” Lu Heyang spoke calmly, “Then there’s no need to get the military’s approval.”
“Colonel, you’re well aware that every psychological counseling for Union pilots requires approval from the military.” Su Li’an’s voice became serious in disbelief, “Concealing treatment is a violation of military discipline.”
“Of course,” Lu Heyang lowered the car window to let the wind in, “I will contact the relevant agencies for confidential treatment. I hope you can be my primary therapist, you understand my situation better.”
Realizing that Lu Heyang seemed to completely disregard her words—and the military discipline, Su Li’an remained silent for quite a while before saying, “I don’t understand.”
“This is just a personal decision of mine. You don’t have to understand and it won’t affect anything,” Lu Heyang reassured her, “Let’s talk when you return to the capital. You can refuse me then if you want to. I hope everything goes well with Dr. Su’s work.”
“……Okay, Colonel.”
Doctor Su, no longer feeling everything was going well, hung up the phone. Lu Heyang put the phone aside and restarted the car.
Author’s note:
He thought that they broke up just because of family resistance, so he planned to get back together immediately. But he ended up discovering the painful truth from the past and fell into deep self-blame o♪ m♫ g♬ o♭ m♫ g♪ oh ¶ my♬ god♫ oh♪my ♩ break♪aiya my god breakdown ♫break ♬down ♬~♩ o♪ m♫ g♬ oh my god o♭ m♫ g♪ oh¶ my♬ god♫ ah♪♩break ♪down ♬~♩o ♪ m ♫g ♬ o♪ m♫g ♬o ♭m ♫ g ♪ma ¶ma♬ma ♫ma♪♩break ♪down ♬oh ♫break ♬down ♬~♩ o♪m ♫ g aiya♬o ♭m ♫g♪ oh¶my ♬ god ♫ oh ♪my ♩break ♪down♬
[Long-term amnesia requires treatment through scientific means. Memories cannot be recovered through a mere bump.]
Aww, looks like Lu Heyang really wants to remember Xu Ze now
I hope the treatment works so that they can finally fully be together without any obstacles. Thanks for the chapter!
Welp…that went…well?
Thank you for the chapter ☺️