Let me guess, you’re waiting for someone, dear Seventeen.
Sorry, the number you dialed…
Thud, thud, thud…
Xu Ze, sign here.
Thud, thud… thud… Sorry, the number you dialed…
Xu Ze, stop picking them up!
The pounding of his heart jolted Xu Ze awake. He found himself gasping for air and drenched in sweat with his T-shirt soaked through.
He stared at the bedroom lamp. His senses hadn’t fully regained yet. His hands were clenched as if holding onto something. The feeling of holding beads was still there, but his palms were empty. A faint blue light seeped through the white curtains, filling the room as if it was morning.
After a while, Xu Ze blinked and slowly sat up. He felt a little better. Xu Ze turned to the side to switch on the bedside lamp. He fumbled for his cell phone under the pillow and bumped into something hard. He pulled it out.
It was the navy blue velvet box. When he opened it, the golden badge of honor lay peacefully inside. The light from the lamp covered it with another layer of gold.
Xu Ze forgot to check his phone temporarily, staring at the badge and recalling his dream.
For a long time, many years, he had been having dreams like this. In the dream, he always heard the sound of the Buddhist beads falling to the ground with the busy tone of an unanswered phone.
The visuals of the dream were limited, resembling a first-person fisheye lens with everything outside it pitch black. He could only see a hand constantly groping the floor to pick up the Buddhist beads, while the other hand pressed the phone to his ear and refused to let go.
It was just a dream, but it was more than just a dream. Xu Ze knew it had really happened.
He picked up the badge out of the box and carefully turned it over. The engraved font on the back was clear. Xu Ze felt the uneven texture of the words “Lu Heyang” as his fingertips traced over them.
Xu Ze couldn’t decide what to do with the badge for several days. He had tried many options, placing it in the desk drawer, the bedside table, and the bottom of the closet, yet none felt right. Eventually, he decided to put it under his pillow—so it would be discreet but also easy to confirm that it was still there.
However, the security wasn’t quite up to standard. Before going to sleep last night, Xu Ze even considered whether he should buy a safe to store it in.
He was well aware that he should return the badge to Lu Heyang because it was no ordinary commemorative badge. Lu Heyang must have taken the wrong one, maybe he was supposed to take the kind that could be sold or given away in bulk, but certainly not this one.
So much so that in the past few days, whenever Xu Ze encountered someone in a military training suit or uniform at the hospital, he wondered if Lu Heyang had sent them to retrieve the badge. But none of them were.
Xu Ze closed the cover and put the badge back under his pillow. He checked his phone and saw that it was 5:40. After skimming through unread messages, Xu Ze was about to take a shower. He stood by the bedside and thought for a moment, then picked up his phone again to make a call first.
—
A phone rang twenty centimeters away as someone was calling. Lu Heyang opened his eyes, but his eyelids were unexpectedly heavy and he could barely lift them. Although the phone was lit, his vision was so blurred that he couldn’t see the caller’s name.
Lu Heyang tried to reach for the phone but he had no strength. He thought he was about to touch the phone, yet seconds later he realized that his arm hadn’t budged.
The phone kept ringing. The caller seemed determined to get through. Lu Heyang tilted his head to look at the phone screen. His vision was so blurry that all he could make out was that the name had two words.
He wanted to see it more clearly, but the ringing suddenly stopped and the surroundings became empty and silent. Lu Heyang opened his eyes.
The walls, the lights, the curtains, everything was clear.
Lu Heyang turned to the side and saw that the space was empty and there was no phone twenty centimeters away.
With a faint ache pulsing in his temples, he sat up. Lu Heyang had grown accustomed to these occasional pains in his brain, much like he had gotten used to that elusive dream.
The continuous ringing, the glowing phone screen, and the caller’s name that was blurry and could never be seen clearly.
Lu Heyang looked at the clock, it wasn’t yet 6 am. He got out of bed and took off his shirt to go to the bathroom when the communicator on the bedside table suddenly beeped. Lu Heyang picked it up and received a message from outside the Air Force system.
Army Combat Command Lieutenant Colonel Gu Yunchi of the Union Northern War Zone: Help me visit my grandpa at the 195th Hospital if you have time in the next few days.
Under normal circumstances, military communicators wouldn’t be used for personal messages. But with the war in the northern zone being active, Lieutenant Colonel Gu must have forgotten where his cell phone was. Lu Heyang called back. He had lost contact with Gu Yunchi for about half a year.
After the call connected, there were beeps from computers and communication equipment, as well as hurried footsteps and loud chatter coming from the other end.
“When was he hospitalized?” Lu Heyang asked directly, skipping the pleasantries.
“Last week. I just found out today.” Gu Yunchi’s voice was somewhat hoarse as if he had been up for several nights, “But his condition should be fine.”
“I’ll go tomorrow at the latest. Anything you want me to say to him?”
“Never mind.” Gu Yunchi replied, “I’ll try to make it back alive to tell Grandpa myself.”
“Yeah.”
No “take care”, “be careful”, or “goodbye”. They hung up decisively at the same time.
“I’m relieved to hear that Young Master Gu is still alive.” He Wei held his phone in one hand and pushed the IV stand with the other as he stepped out of the elevator, “I’ll go with you to see Grandpa Gu tomorrow. I won’t go alone today.”
“Mn.” Lu Heyang asked, “Aren’t you at the station now?”
“No, I came to the 195th Hospital to get an infusion. I had a fever from working overtime the other day.” He Wei said as he walked, “Perfect timing, I’ll check on my Dr. Xu upstairs.”
Lu Heyang seemed to pause. Just as he was about to say something, an officer came looking for him. When He Wei heard this, he thoughtfully said, “Colonel Lu is busy, go ahead. I’ll go meet Dr. Xu. We’ll catch up later.”
After hanging up, He Wei pushed the IV stand to the nurses’ station. He was dressed in his police uniform as if he was a gentleman but his appearance was full of deception. It didn’t take a few seconds for him to inquire that Dr. Xu was doing rounds and would be back in the office later.
“Then I’ll go to Dr. Xu’s office and wait for him.” He Wei gave a brief smile, “Thanks.”
The doctor’s office was empty. He Wei sat on the visitor’s sofa and talked to his subordinate on the phone for a few minutes. Just as he put his phone down, Xu Ze walked into the office.
Xu Ze looked at the sofa as soon as he entered. The nurse had most likely told him that someone was waiting.
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
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“The white coat suits you.” He Wei took a sip of water, “The 195th Hospital shouldn’t be so busy now, right? Both major war zones have gradually ceased hostilities, and there’s support from the military hospitals in the northern war zone.”
“Mn. The lab is a bit busy,” Xu Ze paused for a moment and asked, “What injury made you come back to the country?”
“Who told you?” He Wei’s emphasis was always unique, “Heyang?”
Xu Ze hesitated before nodding.
“Wow, so you two met before. I thought the first time was the time we met at the restaurant.”
“We met by chance at work,” Xu Ze said.
“I just took a bullet to the chest.” He Wei smiled, “Not too serious, but my parents got wind of it, and their reaction was a bit intense… There’s no such thing as injury-free in the police force.”
While examining He Wei’s needle just now, Xu Ze noticed and felt the changes in the hands that had once never touched hardship. The fingertips, palm, and web of the thumb were now covered in calluses. The right ring finger showed clear deformation, possibly due to a severe fracture, while the little finger had only half a nail. It had either broken in half or the entire nail had fallen off and grown back halfway.
Xu Ze found it hard to imagine that the Officer He in front of him was once the alpha who switched between multimillion supercars and insisted on a birthday-themed license plate and a pink interior.
“Why this expression? Feeling sorry for me?” He Wei found it intriguing, “As a doctor, you should be more used to such things.”
No, it was the opposite for Xu Ze. He had lost his parents at a young age, and as a teenager, he had mingled in the brutal underground boxing ring, being trampled to the point of numbness. It wasn’t until Xu Ze entered the hospital for the first time that he finally had some real feelings—he realized that the dirty hands that had once been covered in blood could also save lives.
“Have you had a full-body check since you returned?”
“I did it several times before returning and I’ll have another one tomorrow here at the 195th Hospital.” He Wei said, “Yunchi’s grandpa is also hospitalized here. Since Yunchi can’t come back for the time being, Heyang and I agreed to visit Grandpa Gu together tomorrow.”
Xu Ze was taken aback, “Tomorrow?”
“Yes, tomorrow morning.”
After thinking for a while, Xu Ze asked, “Can you send me a message after you finish tomorrow?”
“Do you want to see Heyang for something? I’ll give you his number… Oh, he hardly uses a phone anymore and mostly relies on his communicator. I’ll text to let you know then.”
“Mn, thank you.”
“Don’t mention it.” He Wei leaned back comfortably on the sofa. His expression turned mischievous, “Our Xiao Ze, are you dating anyone?”
Xu Ze didn’t respond right away. He shook his head, “No.”
“A lot of people must be pursuing you, right?” He Wei grinned, “Just a few days ago when I was at the station, an omega asked me about you, probably because he knew I was in the same class as you. He mentioned that his dad was hospitalized in your department. His dad is the chief prosecutor of the capital’s Supreme Procuratorate. Do you remember?”
“I do.” Xu Ze replied.
“He should have confessed to you? Why did you turn him down? He’s good-looking and comes from a good family. It wouldn’t hurt to try.”
Xu Ze spoke with a flat tone, “I haven’t considered that.”
“Our Xiao Ze hasn’t changed. Unlike Heyang, who’s already secretly married.”
Xu Ze was startled the instant he heard the last words. However, He Wei’s next words significantly reduced the credibility of “secretly married”. He said, “Yunchi’s wife is already pregnant with their third child.”
“You’re joking?” Xu Ze asked with some seriousness.
He Wei laughed happily, “Of course I’m joking. You don’t know, but that omega who looked harmless actually faked his death and ran away years ago. It was only discovered half a year ago that he was still alive. If Yunchi could come back, he would have caught him by now. I think our Lieutenant Colonel Gu is probably not far from going crazy by now.”
Although Xu Ze had encountered plenty of gossip in both the university and the hospital, this type was less common. When reflecting on Gu Yunchi’s high school arranged marriage partner from a long time ago, he struggled to recall his precise appearance, only that the person was exceptionally attractive.
“It’s fine as long as he’s alive,” Xu Ze said.
“Of course, it’s fine. But it won’t stop Young Master Gu from getting angry. When he comes back…”
“Xu Ze.”
An omega in a white coat walked in and instinctively looked at the desk. Noticing that no one was there, he turned his head to the meeting area.
He Wei raised his head upon hearing the voice. Both sides were stunned when their eyes met, and the office became quiet.
After six or seven seconds, He Wei smiled. He softened his voice and used the tone he had used years ago for fear of scaring this omega who had a phobia of alphas, “Dr. Chi, long time no see.”
Chi Jiahan didn’t respond. He looked away almost stiffly and said to Xu Ze, “I’ll come back later.”
“Okay,” Xu Ze said.
“That’s why I said in high school that I was comfortable being with you.” After Chi Jiahan left, He Wei fell silent for a moment. He reclined back on the sofa and his lips formed a hint of a smile again, “Our Xiao Ze seems to know everything, yet doesn’t ask or say anything.”
Xu Ze glanced at the IV bottle and confirmed that there was still some left. Then he said, “I don’t know.”
He genuinely wasn’t clear. Over the years, Chi Jiahan had never mentioned He Wei, which made Xu Ze feel that the relationship between them might not be just about liking or disliking, pursuing or rejecting. If Chi Jiahan didn’t say it, Xu Ze wouldn’t ask.
He Wei snapped his fingers, “That’s what I mean.”
There was no need to buy a safe. After returning from the laboratory early in the morning, Xu Ze sat on the floor next to the bed and looked at the badge.
He felt no remorse or regret as it was never truly his possession. It was too precious and should be returned to Lu Heyang.
If Lu Heyang had given him a piece of gold with no special meaning, Xu Ze would have found a way to keep it by buying it with money or exchanging it for something else. But this was a badge with a significant meaning.
Xu Ze looked at the badge for a long time, long enough to make sure that he had completely memorized its appearance. Only then did he close the box and place it back under his pillow. He didn’t even think about taking a photo of it as a keepsake.
It was already past 3 am. Xu Ze got up to wash up. At seven, there would be a joint surgery for a hemophiliac patient, involving multiple departments in the hospital. The director had asked him to participate.
Perhaps due to exhaustion, Xu Ze fell asleep quickly and had no dreams. He was promptly awakened by the alarm at six. After getting up and getting ready, he took the badge box from under his pillow. He opened it for another glance and put it in his backpack before heading out.
After putting on his surgical clothes and disinfecting himself, Xu Ze entered the operating room. This operation had gone through a hospital-wide consultation beforehand. The patient had hemophilia, which caused abnormal coagulation time, making the risks during and after the operation very high. Preparations were underway in the operating room, and even the usually cheerful anesthesiologist was in no mood for jokes.
Soon, several directors arrived, and the entire operating room fell silent, leaving only the sounds of the equipment running.
—
“Grandpa Gu seems to be in good shape. Let Yunchi know to reassure him.”
“Mn.”
“I still have a few health checks left, so I’ll do them first. I have a meeting in the afternoon. Let’s have dinner together again sometime.” As they were walking to the elevator, He Wei suddenly remembered, “Oh, right. Xu Ze asked me yesterday to call him when we were done. I almost forgot.”
Lu Heyang was reading messages on his communicator and looked up, “He has something to do with you?”
“Not with me.” He Wei dialed Xu Ze’s number, “He’s looking for you.”
Lu Heyang turned off his communicator and watched as He Wei made the call. After listening for over ten seconds, He Wei said, “No answer. Maybe he’s busy.”
“I’ll go find him,” Lu Heyang said.
“I don’t know where he is right now. I’ll give you his phone number. Did you bring your phone?”
“It’s okay, no need.”
The elevator doors opened and the two entered. He Wei still wondered, “What could Xiao Ze want to talk to you about? I can’t figure it out. Did something happen the last time you brought him home that I don’t know about?”
Lu Heyang pressed the button for the seventh floor and replied, “Yes.”
“What is it?” He Wei pricked up his ears.
“Forgot,” Lu Heyang said indifferently.
“…”
“Whatever, I’m tired,” He Wei said, “The thing is, even if you don’t remember him, you two can still try to get along if you have the chance. I think Xu Ze really considered you a friend in high school. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have come out in the pouring rain that night to bring you a birthday gift.”
Lu Heyang turned to look at him, “What did he give?”
“It’s funny. You never showed it to me, so how would I know? The point I’m trying to make is that there is such a thing.” As the elevator reached the seventh floor, He Wei gave Lu Heyang’s shoulder a push, “I understand how Xu Ze feels now. Communicating with an amnesiac like you is really painful. If I were him, I’d rather not run into you again, because every meeting is a blow.”
Lu Heyang stepped out of the elevator without saying anything and waved goodbye to He Wei.
Perhaps because he had visited the department twice before, the nurse at the reception desk immediately recognized Lu Heyang and nodded to him, “Colonel.”
“Hello. Is Dr. Xu busy right now? He didn’t answer the phone.”
“Xu Ze, right? He had an operation in the morning that ended about half an hour ago. He might be doing rounds or in a meeting.”
“Okay, thank you.”
The communicator rang and Lu Heyang picked it up as he walked to a secluded corner. As he passed the emergency exit, he pushed it open and went inside. There were two elevators there, and the staircase was to the right.
It was a call from Song Yuke. He urged Lu Heyang to return to the base for a video conference and gave a brief report on the morning’s air patrol.
Lu Heyang just listened and replied at the end, “Okay, got it.”
“Ah, in addition, I just received word that Dr. Su Li’an will be in the capital in the next few days.”
“Alright.”
After ending the call, Lu Heyang was about to return to the hallway when he suddenly caught a glimpse of a pair of legs lying motionless on the floor through the partially open staircase door.
He watched for a few seconds before slowly walking over.
Lu Heyang’s line of sight shifted with his steps until stopping at the door. Behind it was an old two-seater sofa against the wall that was likely used by cleaners during their breaks. A doctor in sea-green scrubs was wearing a surgical cap and glasses on the bridge of his nose. His right hand was resting on his thigh, holding a phone loosely in the palm of his hand. He was fast asleep with his head against the wall, like a silent plant growing in the corner.
The bustle of the hallway remained outside, making this room feel like a distant and unreal realm.
The phone received a message and vibrated. Xu Ze’s fingers curled up, and he opened his eyes.
Light poured in from the window at the end of the stairwell. Xu Ze squinted and lowered his head to check his phone. After replying to the message, he seemed to realize something and raised his head.
An alpha was leaning against the wall with his arms crossed in a casual posture. His face wasn’t completely visible due to the backlight, possibly also because Xu Ze wasn’t fully awake yet.
Xu Ze didn’t show any signs of being startled or surprised, he just stared at Lu Heyang blankly and earnestly. Countless things were buried in those dark gray eyes, which were like a lake without waves.
Xu Ze thought it felt very much like a dream. There was no sound and the face was indistinct just like in his dreams.
With this in mind, Xu Ze’s eyes dropped to Lu Heyang’s knees and he reached out to wipe away a speck of dust on his pants.
“Thank you,” Lu Heyang said.
Xu Ze’s hand immediately froze. When he looked up again, he suddenly could see Lu Heyang’s face clearly.
After a delay of a dozen beats, a surprised expression finally appeared on Xu Ze’s face. He opened his mouth but made no sound. He stood up and only broke the silence after two seconds, “Colonel.”
“Why are you sleeping here?” Lu Heyang asked.
“I came to make a call,” Xu Ze found it embarrassing to say, “I don’t know why I fell asleep.”
Fortunately, he had only slept for a few minutes. Xu Ze wanted to steer the conversation away from this topic, so he asked, “Is there something you need from me?”
Lu Heyang looked at him, “It seems like it was you, Dr. Xu, who first told He Wei that you were looking for me.”
That was indeed the case. Xu Ze nodded stiffly, “Right.”
“What is it?”
The badge wasn’t on him as it was in his bag. Xu Ze asked, “Would it be convenient to go to the changing room with me?”
Lu Heyang calmly and briefly observed Xu Ze before replying, “If it’s okay with you, it’s okay with me.”
Since it happened to be convenient for both of them, they went to the changing room.
There was no one else in the changing room. Xu Ze opened his locker and put down his phone. He took out the badge from his backpack and opened the box. As he handed it to Lu Heyang, Xu Ze couldn’t help but sneak a last glance at it before saying, “This, did you give it to me by mistake?”
Lu Heyang didn’t pay attention to what Xu Ze was holding but looked at his face and asked, “What do you mean?”
“This badge of honor must be something important.” Xu Ze pulled the cap off his head, and his hair was a little messy.
“Who said that?” Lu Heyang showed no intention of taking the badge.
Xu Ze had no choice but to retract his hand first, “My team member from last time saw it, so he told me.”
“Then what he said should be right,” Lu Heyang commented.
“So you gave it to me by mistake?” Xu Ze was worried that Lu Heyang might be embarrassed so he even offered a reason, “That night, it was late, and it was so dark, you could accidentally grab the wrong one.”
“I’m not a wholesaler. I don’t have that many badges to grab the wrong one.” Ignoring the way out that Xu Ze had worked hard to offer, Lu Heyang stated calmly, “This one is for you.”
Since Xu Ze hadn’t caught on yet, he was unable to sense his growing happiness. All he knew was that he was puzzled, “Why are you giving it to me?”
“Weren’t you listening the last time I spoke, Dr. Xu?” Lu Heyang raised his hand and brushed the back of it against Xu Ze’s ear, “Because you weren’t honest, I’m rewarding you in advance in the hope that you’ll be more honest.”
The ear that was touched began to heat up at a terrifying speed. Xu Ze admitted that he wasn’t honest, but this kind of reward still seemed too extravagant to him. It was just like the expensive wristband and boxing gloves he received from Lu Heyang as a teenager. He had no way to repay them on an equal footing.
Even with this in mind, Xu Ze unconsciously closed the box and held it firmly in his hands. Lu Heyang gave him a clear answer. Lu Heyang wouldn’t lie to him, and he wouldn’t change his mind and say that he wanted the badge back—not that it would matter if he did, at least it wasn’t right now.
“If you really don’t want it, just give it back. Don’t feel pressured,” Lu Heyang said leniently.
“It’s not that I don’t want it.” Xu Ze quickly clarified the matter, clearing up any possible misunderstanding, and asked, “What if you need to use the badge during a ceremony?”
“I’ll come to get it from you, so please take good care of it.”
“I’ll buy a safe,” Xu Ze said seriously.
Lu Heyang chuckled, “No need, just put it out in the sun and water it often.”
It would be too much if Xu Ze couldn’t even understand such a joke. Xu Ze pursed his lips, lowered his eyes, and smiled. But then he heard Lu Heyang ask, “Is accepting it putting pressure on you?”
Even though he knew Lu Heyang might take the badge back if he said yes, Xu Ze still nodded, “A little.”
“Then treat me to a meal,” Lu Heyang said, “I haven’t been back to the capital for a long time and I don’t know which restaurants are good.”
Xu Ze paused for a while, “When?”
“You can contact me when you have time.” Lu Heyang then remembered something, “Do you have my number?”
The frequency of his heartbeat became strange. Xu Ze replied in a low voice, “No.”
“Want it?”
Xu Ze felt like his throat could no longer make any sound. He went to the locker to take out his phone. He unlocked it and handed it to Lu Heyang with his wrist trembling slightly.
Lu Heyang entered his number, called it, and hung up a few seconds later. He returned the phone to Xu Ze, “I don’t usually carry my phone with me. If the call doesn’t go through, you can send a text to leave a message.”
“Okay.”
“I’ll head back to the base now. I won’t disturb your work.” Lu Heyang paused and said, “Dr. Xu, pay attention to rest.”
Xu Ze held onto the badge box with both hands like a squirrel clutching a pinecone, as if afraid it would be snatched away. He nodded, “Mn.”
After Lu Heyang left the locker room, Xu Ze stayed where he was for about half a minute before putting the badge back into his backpack and zipping it up. Xu Ze usually just closed the locker without locking it, but today he locked it and turned the key twice.
After turning the key, he realized that he hadn’t changed out of his surgical scrubs yet. It wouldn’t look good if the director saw him. Xu Ze had to open the locker again.
As Lu Heyang went down in the elevator, he received a call from the Air Force Medical System on his communicator. He answered, “Dr. Su, hello.”
A steady female alpha voice came from the other end, “Colonel Lu, how are you feeling during your time back in the capital?”
“Not bad.”
“Are you still having that dream?”
“Yes.” The elevator doors opened, and Lu Heyang walked into the lobby. “But I might be close to finding the answer.”
Stepping outside, the sunlight was abundant, and a gentle fragrance wafted through the air as the wind blew. Lu Heyang looked to the right.
In the flower bed in front of the 195th Hospital, the gardenias were in full bloom.
I can’t remember what was Xu Ze birthday gift for LH? 🤔
It’s a pendant if i remember correctly.
A necklace he made himself by melting an accessory or smth like that…
Thx!
I just read it last night, now i caught up hehe
Thank you for the chapter ☺️
what dream??? what kind of answer 😭
I want to know Gu Yunchi story too
Same! Last thing i know the omega was crying when he and Yunchi left the classroom
If it wasn’t for He Wei blabbering about their past, Lu Heyang probably wouldn’t try to get close to Xu Ze