The Theory of QueerbaitingChapter 10

When Duan Jiashu was at home surfing the Internet, he unfathomably found several CP clips of himself and You Xin on the Bilibili home page. When he opened it, it turned out to be clips of him and You Xin in the “The Wacky Family” screen. Duan Jiashu then remembered that the show had already aired. His heart stirred, so he thought, why not take a look at it.

Duan Jiashu opened the show’s first episode on Apple TV’s website, and because he was used to watching on Bilibili, he also turned on the barrage. The program started out normally, and there weren’t any essential differences from other variety shows, with the members of the show getting to know one another and boasting about their careers. It began to get better when the members went out and got fresh air. Qi laoshi and several actors were truly worthy of being called “variety show big shots”, as they performed extraordinarily. Even people like Duan Jiashu felt ridiculous while watching them. The barrage also had plenty of “hahaha” comments, which overall, was very harmonious. koT50z

Then the camera turned and the caption, “Let’s see what Xin Xin and Jiashu are doing at home”, appeared. Then, the barrage immediately began to fall apart.

【High energy ahead! Please be prepared, everyone.】

Story translated by Chrysanthemum Garden.

【That’s gotta be lovemaking.】

【Please enjoy the romantic comedy titled 《The Troubles of the Young Duan Laoshi》】 wWIomD

…

What a mess this barrage was! Duan Jiashu frowned, he remembered that he was still behaving normally during the first episode of the recording.

The scene of Duan Jiashu wiping the table in the dining room appeared on the screen. He was seen wiping the table while showing a gentle smile.

【A-Shu is looking at me and smiling!】

【A-Shu is clearly afraid that he’ll fall in love with me!】

【Ahhh, Duan laoshi’s smile is so handsome!】

Then what Duan Jiashu’s eyes had been focusing on appeared on the screen. It turned out that he was watching a video of a little kitty on his phone.

【A-Shu likes cats and won’t like me】 wSY5Gn

【I’m the cat!】

【I’ll steal that cat for Duan laoshi right now so I can marry him!】

The danmu containing these sand sculpting netizens were really trying their best to add drama themselves

We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.

After a beep, the scene changed to the kitchen, where You Xin was cooking with a serious face. His knife skills were sharp, the action not the slightest bit disordered. There were a lot of close-ups of the dishes, and the show also thoughtfully added the ingredients and steps to what You Xin was cooking, so that people could imagine the smell and the aroma of the dishes through the screen. Duan Jiashu saw these as he opened a bag of chips, and noticed that the danmu here were completely different from the previous scene. cZkq5d

【Ktf rmfcf tjr rtloafv, jcv P mjwf ab kjamt j obbv qgbugjw】

【Ktf gfmlqf tjr yffc byajlcfv! P rtjii lwwfvljafis ags la】

【Ktlr lr j nfgs jeatfcalm kjs bo mbbxlcu. Zs wbatfg mbbxr glmf atf rjwf kjs.】

【Wlc Wlc lr rb meaf jcv ubbv ja mbbxlcu, tf’r j wera-tjnf ja tbwf!】 dASwIg

The meal was almost finished, but the kitchen and dining room were silent, and only a cat’s meow or two could be heard from Duan Jiashu’s cell phone.

【A show full of mimes】

Chrysanthemum Garden.

【Silence is the beginning of love~】

【Xin Xin can’t hold back anymore!】 ByLx39

He saw on the screen that You Xin looked towards the dining room then looked once more, and he puffed out his cheeks and took a breath as if he had made up his mind about something. You Xin looked a little apprehensive to go to the dining room, called out “Duan..” but then Duan Jiashu stood up and walked to the toilet. You Xin’s shoulders shook with fear, then followed up with another “Duan..” but Duan Jiashu walked back to the dining room, sat down and played with his phone. You Xin froze, took two steps back then pouted, feeling wronged.

Duan Jiashu had no idea that after he ignored You Xin, the other person would have such an expression on his face. A sense of guilt suddenly sprang up in his heart, mixed with a bit of an indescribable feeling. It made him want to poke You Xin’s aggrieved cheeks and touch his head.

People who also felt the same way as Duan Jiashu expressed this on the barrage.

【Xin Xin is so cute, what are you doing, Duan laoshi!】 NbJTy6

【Duan laoshi will pay for what he did!】

【I know, I know, this is the script of the shou being abused by the gong.】

【Duan Jiashu just doesn’t seem to care about You Xin, probably because he doesn’t want to sell CP, hehe】

【Don’t beat your face too fast, we’re about to see Duan laoshi’s true colors】 ZCdPhz

The matter with Duan was soon pushed aside when the other cast members returned. They gathered together to eat and drink, and the scene became harmonious again. Then, it came to the part of the room arrangements.

After the previous foreshadowing, the scene where Yuan Feng was lovingly inviting Duan Jiashu to room with him was aired. The people in the danmu mourned Yuan Feng’s tragic abandonment.

【Feng Feng doesn’t even know that he has been abandoned】

【Feng Feng is already yesterday’s yellow flower】 nfZ6HA

【Duan laoshi this scum man, hahaha】

Then Duan Jiashu decisively rejected Yuan Feng and asked to live with You Xin. The danmu screen immediately reached a climax.

【Duan laoshi’s mind is really hard to guess. Even if you keep guessing, you still can’t understand】

【It seems that Duan Jiashu has transformed.】 uR8PjM

【Yet, Xin Xin didn’t know that Duan laoshi had, so Xin Xin was very surprised.】

【Xin Xin was angry but didn’t refuse. I now declare you married!】

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【JiaXin is rio!】

【Go for it tonight, Duan laoshi!】 UZmysi

【Get on the bed, Duan laoshi!】

【I now announce that JiaXin is sleeping together!】

…

Duan Jiashu really couldn’t watch it anymore. He pressed pause and reported the most explicit barrage comments. Then, he paused for a moment to look back at the scene where You Xin chased him around but he ignored him, and finally stopped at You Xin’s aggrieved face. Duan Jiashu stared at it for a while, then took a screenshot and saved it into his phone. xIPJsv

At the same time, the forums also exploded. There were thousands of replies to a post talking about the JQ between Duan Jiashu and you Xin

【My God, the stone is hammered!】

【Now I don’t need anyone to tell me that Duan Jiashu and You Xin are having an affair!】

【Why did Duan laoshi twist and transform? Is there a great God out there who will analyze it for me!?】 S8 dz6

【The start of the story is that actor Duan ignored actor You because he was embarrassed about acting all squirmy. Actor Duan isn’t really the sociable type in the circle and he’s never been in a relationship or in a scandal. His initiative to request rooming together with You Xin is now better understood, since all guests in the program are to share a room. If actor You doesn’t live with actor Duan, he would certainly live with other male guests, and I guess that’s why Duan couldn’t care less about being squirmy. My goodness! This CP is much to my liking! I’m in!】

【No more nonsense, JiaXin is now locked, the sandwich’s sugar is too sweet!】

【This building is full of You xiao shou’s fans. Setting him up to another marriage
really takes no effort!】

【You Xin is really shameless, while he and Liu Yanhui sold CP, he also did not forget to take on Duan Jiashu. He’s really hungry, ah!】 V2ktFT

【Duan Jiashu wanted to sleep with You Xin himself, and this should be blamed on You Xin? I’m really impressed with the brain circuits of Duan fans!】

【Don’t scold, we Xin Xin fans are here to kneel down. wu wu wu wu】

【You Xin fans really like to play pathetic like the main owner, truly reverse goods, kneeling and kneeling. get up and wipe your butts, it’s none of Xin Xin’s business [amused]】

… g sc3Q

You Xin was on the phone with Yu-jie when he brushed past this post. When he read the post, he had his mouth open and couldn’t believe it. It turns out that CP fan’s brain circuits had already evolved into this, and he and Duan Jiashu could also stir up a CP with their current relationship. Ah, he really never expected it.

“You Xin, did you hear that, ah!? You two are going to be popular! What kind of bewitching potion did you give Duan Jiashu to make him stir up a CP with you, ah?”

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At the same time, Wen-ge was also asking Duan Jiashu the same thing.

“What kind of bewitching potion did You Xin pour into your mouth that you became so cooperative with hyping this up, ah?” JX 6yI

Why the screenshot, Duan laoshi? [doge] [doge]
(I’m not sure why the text for the comments look like that on preview, and i tried (but failed) to fix it, so apologies if it looks weird!! >.<) Happy holidays, everyone~