Edited by: bafflinghaze
The Tragedy of Ohmlet was a tragedy.
It ended in a terrible bloodbath with a bunch of people dead, and the worst part about it was that the story was inspired by an incident that happened long before the birth of the Rhine Empire.
Historians have tried to piece together the clues, narrowing down the numerous ancient massacres throughout history, but the truth of the legend was hard to determine.
The legendary playwright, Willith Iamtis Skearshape, turned the tale into a work of art when he listened to a group of merchants recall the story of a town called Ohmlet that burst into flames and disappeared from the map.
This was back before the Great Unification. Exploration was a hard venture in times of chaos and war, thus, the history of Ohmlet and its existence continues to baffle historians to this day.
“Which is why, if you all with patient ears can please await, I give you all the tale of Sir Gilbert and Lady Rose… “
It was true that in fair Ohmlet where they laid their scene, an ancient grudge appeared amidst the calm.
Two families, both alike in dignity…
The Elisia Family and the Oldham Family have always had a distinct rivalry between them. As this was a time before the birth of Rhine, violence, chaos, and casual bloodshed were a common thing—especially in a town ruled by two powerful families.
Their fight spanned from long ago when the ancient Euris Empire once stood tall. No one knew why the families hated each other, but it was said that an angered spirit once cursed them to despise one another, thus beginning a history of destruction.
The Tragedy of Ohmlet began approximately five years before the two families perished alongside the town of Ohmlet.
In a busy market square, members of the two households coincidentally encountered one another, and things went sour very quickly.
“You absolute swine! How dare you?” The woman who was once the nursemaid of the Elisia family’s precious ward cried out, her red hair beaming in the sunlight as she drew her blade against her opponent with no hesitation.
Her opponent, Ferdinand, a member of the Oldham Family, merely sneered, taunting her further while he and his fellow men cornered her on all sides.
From a distance, other members of the Elisia Family could be seen approaching from a distance after noticing one of their own being outnumbered.
The townspeople took cover, running away to seek shelter against the storm.
The battles between the Elisias and the Oldhams were a common sight in Ohmlet. Everyone knew to stay out of their way, lest they wished to die an early death.
It was said that the former nurse of Lady Rose would commonly square off against Ferdinand, a servant of the Oldham Family.
There was also another man who stood in between the conflict, especially if the battles turned too violent.
“Enough, Ferdinand! Part these people with me, or else!” A man appeared amidst the battle, swords drawn as he bargained for order.
He was Othello, the beloved cousin of Lady Rose.
“Damn you, Othello! A dirty mongrel of the Elisia House only knows how to surrender when the odds are against you!”
“Are you implying something, Ferdinand?” Othello demanded.
The former nursemaid stood beside him and snorted in distaste. “As expected of a three-inch fool. Only knows doublespeak when it suits him.”
“Hah?! Who are you calling three inches?!”
The tension was heightened once more, but before a different argument could break out, another man stepped forward.
“Stand down, Ferdinand.”
“Auertes!”
This was the Oldham Family’s only son and heir, Auertes, otherwise known by historians as the peacemaker.
“I am telling you to stand down, Ferdinand. Unless you are implying that my words do not matter…”
“No! No… My Lord, forgive me…” Ferdinand sneered at the Elisia members, his anger brewing beneath his skin. “Very well. I will let you off this time. Dogs of the House of Elisia are only mere toads not worthy of my attention.”
Ferdinand stormed off after that, taking his goons with him.
Auertes followed without a glance back at their enemies.
Othello and the former nursemaid glared at him with resentment.
There were, however, two individuals who did not actively participate in this rivalry. The first star-crossed lovers to appear in the history books.
In the secret garden of the Elisia Manor, the fair Lady Rose met with the gentle Sir Gilde…
“My Lady, are you there?”
Sir Gilde climbed over the garden wall, looking around carefully as he snuck through the bushes.
“Over here, Sir Gilde.”
From behind the fountain, Lady Rose appeared, looking quite pale. She held a handkerchief to her lips, dyeing it in blood.
The beautiful and charming Lady Rose was a sheltered lady. Her only flaw was the delicate nature of her constitution. As a young girl, she was abandoned at a temple in another town north of Ohmlet. When the Lord and Lady Elisia were passing through, they saw the child and knew it was destiny.
They could not bear a child of their own, and this girl was everything they imagined in a daughter.
Sir Gilde smiled gleefully, albeit with a hint of concern in his eyes, looking quite boyish as he swept his lady into his arms.
Sir Gilde was the ward of the Oldham Family. His parents served as vassals to the Oldhams. Their untimely deaths brought him to Ohmlet, where the Oldhams took him in. Youthful and bright, he was sometimes naive but irrevocably kind.
(“You could say he was good of heart and dumb of ass.”
“We can’t write that in.”)
He and the heir of the Oldham Family, Auertes, were the best of friends—almost brothers in all but blood.
“I had thought I could never see you again. My heart is gladdened that we can meet once more.”
Lady Rose and Sir Gilde met at the annual midsummer celebration.
And they fell for one another instantly.
“Oh, Sir Gilde. I have given my heart to you ever since I first saw you…”
This made it worse because their story would only end in tragedy.
—
“Meyers! What are you doing here?” Rickman demanded.
Fredrick looked almost frantic as entered the light booth.
Both Rickman and Peregrine watched him pilfer through the cabinets like a rabid squirrel looking for acorns.
“Sorry, Professor. No time to explain. I need to find the spare key to the changing room.”
Rickman raised a brow.
“Why do you need the spare key?”
I swear to the gods if you idiots lost the key—
Absentmindedly, Fredrick explained, “Someone locked Nazareth inside the changing room—oops.”
“What?!”
Uh-Oh.
Rickman glowered at the stage. “Then who the hell is that?!”
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
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Blake’s student was up there playing the main character in his show.
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“Where did you say Odum was?” Rickman hissed.
Fredrick was sweating bullets under the intense gaze. “Um, he’s locked inside the changing room, sir.”
“Get him out!” Rickman snapped, “He better pray I don’t fail him. How dare he let Dogstar’s student take his place? Does he have no integrity or loyalty to my class?!”
Both Peregrine and Fredrick looked at each other.
Umm…
Was it their imagination, or was Professor Rickman more upset about Professor Dogstar one-upping him than he was about Nazareth being locked inside the changing room?
Fredrick eventually found the key inside one of the compartments under the light booth and bid a harried farewell.
It was Peregine’s problem now.
Fredrick rushed backstage and headed for the changing room.
“Odum?” He knocked on the door vigorously.
Lord Aurelion once told him his brother was prone to weaknesses. Fredrick didn’t exactly know what these “weaknesses” were, but now he was worried. Being trapped in the changing room could spell trouble. What if Nazareth was claustrophobic?
—
Unbeknownst to Fredrick, Neo managed to kick open a fixed window and was currently debating whether or not he should jump out.
He looked out.
It was only five stories, and there was a tree.
Thankfully, he did not have to jump.
Upon hearing the knock, he turned away from the window.
“I’m here!”
“Thank the gods,” he heard Fredrick’s relieved voice, “I’ll get you out of there as quickly as possible!”
There was the sound of shuffling, and then a distinct click before the door swung open.
“Odum—“
Fredrick entered the room and paused. His gaze fell to the window first.
That was a fixed window. It was not made to be opened.
Neo turned away, “The show…”
He was hurried out the door.
—
“Are you alright?”
Julius watched in concern as Nazareth’s friend—Finneas, was it?—turned paler and paler as time went on.
Their scene was up next.
On stage, Royce died while Tybalt continued sword-fighting with the students playing Ferdinand and Auertes.
“I’m fine,” Finneas tried to say, but Julius could barely understand what he was saying. His voice was slurred as if he was on the verge of passing out.
“You’re not.” Julius could feel the rising temperature through the boy’s clothes while they were interacting on stage.
“You’re burning up.”
Finneas denied it. “No—”
“That’s because he has a seasonal illness.”
Nazareth appeared at the door like a bad omen, wig haphazardly donned and eyes filled with concern.
The first thing he did when he walked backstage was check Finneas’ temperature.
“He won’t be able to get through the rest of the show at this rate.”
“I’m finnneee…”
Neo made him sit down, “No you’re not.”
Crash!
On stage, Tybalt finished his monologue and proceeded to “die.”
The stage went black.
Royce and Tybalt rushed backstage, one heading to get out of his costume while the other changed into another costume.
“What’s going on?” Tybalt joined the group once he was decked out with a new wig and jacket.
Neo shook his head. “Finneas won’t be able to go on.”
The lavender-eyed boy made an ‘oh’ face and then grimaced.
They were screwed.
“Why not let Nazareth switch with Dagon? The two of you rehearsed together all the time, right? You can play Sir Gilde.” Julius came up with a brilliant idea on the spot.
All eyes landed on Neo.
“Um…”
“How much do you know of his lines?” Julius asked.
Neo shook his head, “Not enough for the role.”
“That’s going to have to be good enough,” Tybalt concluded, already reaching over to help Neo take off his wig.
Lady Lettuse rushed backstage, “Julius, Dagon, I need you two onstage!”
Then she noticed Neo.
“Odum! There you are—”
“I’m sorry about this, Lady Lettuse, but Finneas can’t perform anymore tonight.”
“But—”
Tybalt unzipped Neo’s dress and quickly got him out of the costume.
“Elysium is going to have to play Lady Rose for the rest of the show. Naza’s changing roles with Finny.”
It took a few seconds for Lady Lettuse to process what was happening before a begrudging look crossed her face.
She helped Tybalt get Neo out of his costume and into a pair of trousers and a shirt.
While Neo changed, Julius appeared on stage to buy them time for the quick change.
They took off the jacket Finneas was wearing, along with his hat, and put them on Neo.
Lady Lettuse pulled the raven locks into a low ponytail.
Thankfully, Sir Gilde also had black hair. The wig Finneas wore was custom-made.
In a few more seconds, Neo was transformed into Sir Gilde. He slid the fencing sword into his sword belt and spun around.
“Do you think anyone will notice?”
Tybalt and Lady Lettuse shared a look.
They shook their heads.
Neo rushed onto the stage with the energy of a stupid golden retriever.
“Rose! I have come! Love is an open door!”
Julius gasped dramatically, his hair swishing around. Blood leaked from his lips like a faucet.
For a moment, Neo had to pause and wonder if the other boy was actually puking blood on stage.
“Oh, Gilde! I have decided, my love, let us elope! Our families will never let us be together in this lifetime, not with the, er, rotten eggs of life at every turn creating the cracks. Love is not an eggshell, Gilde. It is the bright, um, yellow yolk. My sweet, sweet, rooster Gilde! Love of my heart and dashingly perfect. Take me away from this treacherous violence, Gilde. Take me away!”
Neo tried very hard not to break character.
He plastered on a smile, swooned—oh wait, he shouldn’t do that—and crossed the stage toward Julius.
“Anything for you, my Lady! Let us go now while the moon is poached and round. It shall light our way toward the desert lands like grease upon a griddle. We can become cactus farmers and sand nomads. Imagine the possibilities, my Lady! Away from this place which dares to tear us apart like broken yolk.”
Did Neo paraphrase Gilde’s renowned ten-minute elopement monologue? Yes, he did.
Julius could only laugh in pain.
“Yes! Let us depart this very night!”
Pulling Julius into a fireman’s carry, the two boys made it off stage successfully, completing the first act of the show.
Amidst all the chaos, no one bothered to ask Fredrick, who used to play Sir Gilde and still had the lines memorized, if he wanted the role.
—
In the light booth, Robyne Peregrine was attempting to not cower under the impressive rage that was currently seething out of Professor Rickman.
“What the hell is Odum doing?!”
The two of them had watched as Odum appeared on stage in place of Finneas, botching up his ten-minute monologue and exiting the scene ten minutes early!
Just as the Professor was about to head backstage to rip into Odum, and Peregrine mustered the will to do some damage control so his classmate wouldn’t die, Lady Lettuse rushed into the light booth like a messiah from the heavens.
“Professor, Dagon is down. He has a fever.”
Peregrine saw a flash of concern enter the Professor’s eyes, abating the rage within them.
“Odum is subbing in for him currently. The technicians have taken Dagon to the changing room to rest. He doesn’t look very well, Sir,” Lady Lettuse continued, somehow indirectly saving Odum’s impressive ass.
There was silence in the light booth, and then—
“Go notify his family,” Professor Rickman instructed, before pausing. “And tell Odum he did a good job.”
Even if he massively botched up the entire show.
“Yes, Sir.”
—
“Isn’t that Brother?” Guinivere noted, loud enough for her entire family to hear.
Vespera raised a brow and then shot a pointed look at her husband.
“He looks very handsome.”
Gareth agreed with this statement. “The characters must have switched personalities. It seems like something Erick would do. Look. Nazareth is swooning. It seems acting suits him.”
Indeed, on stage, Neo was currently swooning like crazy to make up for his tragic acting.
“You can tell he is meant to be an actor,” Vespera said with finality.
Aurelion and Guinivere looked at one another, and then back on stage.
Nazareth was sword-fighting Tybalt, who had changed costumes and was currently playing Claudius, Lady Rose’s fiancé.
How was he still swooning?!
—
“Fredrick, do you know where the extra night pearls went?”
Fredrick was pulled away from the costumes by the props manager.
She held the lantern for the final scene in her hand with a look of confusion.
“The light fluids are gone in this one and I can’t seem to find where the spare pearls are.”
Fredrick looked perplexed as he examined the night pearl and the empty fluid bottle. Finally, he said, “Have you checked Peregrine?”
The two technicians took a moment to think about that statement and then sighed.
“Very well. Let’s just use a normal candle. It’s only a short scene. Who’s carrying the lantern?”
“Tybalt.”
Lady Lettuse nodded. “He’s very responsible.”
They convinced the student in charge of props and went to find a candle and a match.
—
The show continued with no more mishaps.
Sir Gilde and Lady Rose eloped, fleeing across the river of Ohmlet and into the Desert Land. They got married on top of a sand dune and began a life traveling through the desert as sand nomads.
Ohmlet became a battlefield after Lady Rose and Sir Gilde escaped from their families.
While the bloody war waged on between the two Houses, Lady Rose gave birth to a son, Allister, and the couple was joyous and happy.
Neo somehow managed to swoon his way towards the climax of the show.
The families tracked Gilde and Rose through the desert and eventually found them in a little cottage surrounded by cactus fields. It was night. There was a moon painted in the background and a lantern ‘lighting the way’ for a mob of angry Elisia and Oldham actors.
Then, the confrontation commenced.
“Oldham! You bastard son of a whore! How dare you take my fiancée, you chicken?!” Tybalt shouted his lines, looking angry and affronted whilst carefully carrying a lantern on stage. The movement did not match his rage.
Neo swooned instinctively, “We are passionately in love, Lord Claudius. We are fated and sunny, the two of us. Why must you interfere in our love?”
Oh, wait.
That wasn’t his line…
By the look Julius was currently shooting him, Neo realized too late.
Well, shit.
“Claudius! You absolute egg! You dare confront us when you can’t even see that I do not want to marry you?”
Nice cover, Julius!
Tybalt raised his hackles and drew his blade. “I challenge you, Oldham, to a duel for my Lady’s hand!”
Neo nodded solemnly and brought out his own sword.
Sir Gilde and Lord Claudius dueled a lot in this show. It was amazing how both parties could just go and be violent the moment they saw each other.
But right before the epic and final showdown between Claudius and Gilde could officially commence, Lady Rose coughed.
And then proceeded to choke.
On her own blood.
Oh shit, no, wait—that was Julius. Julius was choking on his own blood—
Neo dropped his sword and came rushing over.
“Julius… Julius, are you alright…!?”
Everyone on stage started to freak out when they realized this wasn’t part of the performance.
—
“That’s a very impressive Lady Rose,” Gareth couldn’t help noting.
Beside him, Vespera nodded.
She could smell the iron from where she was sitting and was equally impressed. It seemed Erick decided to use real blood for the performance.
Guinivere and Aurelion both frowned.
They watched their brother rehearse his lines with them, and it was clear nothing was matching up to the performance.
The two siblings decidedly kept their mouths shut, not giving away the fact that their brother’s class had somehow managed to fuck up the Tragedy of Ohmlet.
—
Battle music was being played in the background while the actors and technicians were running frantically around the stage trying to clean up the blood.
At one point, the lantern that Tybalt set down near the curtain was tipped over, lighting a small flame.
It climbed the curtains, and then it touched the set, and then the props, and then…
Before anyone could comment on the strange scent of burning, the stage lit on fire.
… Which evoked more panic.
While everything went to shit, Tybalt and Neo were trying to help Julius off the stage.
—
Fredrick and Lady Lettuse stared, almost in a daze, as the production went to shit.
Lady Lettuse quietly took out her script and flipped through the end.
“Someone get me the echo charm. We’re going to skip to the ending.”
The charms were brought over.
They were meant for the last scene, which was when the Elisias and the Oldhams battled in the desert.
Their violence brought down the wrath of a fairy, who then cursed both their bloodlines before killing all that was present in the battle.
—
“… I CURSE THEE, RUINOUS HUMANS! DESPICABLE DEVIL EGGS WHO KNOW NOTHING BUT DEGG-STRUCTION! I CURSE YOU AND YOUR LINE, FOREVER AND EVER AND EGG-TERNITY MORE! I CURSE YOU!”
At these words, everyone on stage instantly ‘died’, their instincts honed from Professor Rickman’s hellish rehearsals being put to good use for once.
The fairy’s curse was played over and over again during rehearsal, and every time it was played, every member on stage was told to ‘die’.
Apparently, Professor Rickman wanted them to at least have a scene where they wouldn’t be able to mess up, no matter what.
Thank you, Professor.
The class internally wept tears of sadness and blood.
They were going to die for real.
The curtains drew to a close.
Flame extinguisher charms were brought out to dampen the fire.
The audience clapped resoundingly, their cheers were music to Professor Rickman’s ears.
Behind the curtains, the students stared into space, completely exhausted.
As the performance high fell away, the group gathered their wits and scattered.
“Are you okay?”
Neo sat Julius down on a bench and helped the other wipe the blood off his face.
“No. I feel like shit,” Julius stated bluntly, scowling.
He had done the exact same thing during his production of The Tragedy of Ohmlet.
Neo pushed a blood replenisher he just so happened to be carrying around into his hand.
“Drink.”
“Can I ask why you have this?”
“Just in case.”
Tybalt met Royce in the changing room.
The other boy was sitting next to Finneas’ makeshift bedside and turned to him when he walked in.
“How did it go?”
Tybalt paused, wondering what he should say.
Finally, he just smiled.
“We somehow managed to set the stage on fire.”
Finneas and Royce gaped at him.
Well, there went their grades.
—
Volume I Extras End
—
The author has something to say:
Once again, the MVP award goes to: place your bets, folks ^^
I am dying.
Send help.
That was HILARIOUS!!
😂😂😂
Me too! Was still laughing over last chapter and now this one- I can’t breathe 😂😂
I’m dying with you 😂😂
They will set the world on fire with their talents! …and stages…
oh my god I’m dying like Julius here 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣🤣😂🤣😂
Julius my rose
All the swooning, the play was memorable.
It’s gotta go to Julius. The real MVP
Wonderful chapter as always. This book brings a smile to my face with every line
Lady Lettuse has to win.
She really pulled through.
Oh my gosh!! That was Chaotic! Loved it!
Lady Lettuse is the MVP for sure! Also I just died of laughter
I cackled so loud the cat got offended and left for more serene laps. 5 stars