Narisa Zeno was a bit shocked, his eyes widened as he stared at Tendou Yagami’s face that didn’t change. Then, smiling to himself, he called himself a fool. It wasn’t hard to tell that he loved Tendou Yagami, plus, Tendou Yagami was a very sensitive person towards emotions. Narisa Zeno, himself, knew that he wasn’t hiding his feelings as well as he thought he was.
It was getting harder for him to act, especially after losing that man once. Narisa Zeno only wanted to show all of his love and get a head start. This was alright, he knew that in this world, Tendou Yagami was going to have a harder time falling in love, especially since he was young and his history with all the people around him wasn’t the best.
So instead of panicking, Narisa Zeno merely kept his smile as he looked at Tendou Yagami, “Does it seem like I do?”
Tendou Yagami stared at Narisa Zeno, unable to help but cock his brow as he smirked, “You do. No one just stares into people’s eyes with their own eyes shining so bright. And you always smile at me when I hardly see you smile at other people. You don’t act like this with many people.”
Narisa Zeno merely laughed at that, his shoulders shaking. “Was it that obvious?”
Tendou Yagami scoffed, “Kinda. I’m more surprised that Akita didn’t notice.”
Narisa Zeno shook his head at that, “No, he noticed something was weird. He just didn’t want to say anything.” Pausing, he suddenly turned to the real attention. “Well, what do you say? I like you, it’s pretty obvious but what is your reply?”
Hearing that, Tendou Yagami’s eyes darkened, a storm within them. “I don’t know. I’ve never liked someone before. But, seriously, how do you fall for someone like me? The me you know isn’t the me that other people know.”
“Isn’t that normal? I’m suppose to see a side of you that no one else does.” Narisa Zeno replied. He could tell what Tendou Yagami was going through.
(Make lead’s love meter is at 25%.)
Tendou Yagami stayed silent as he took that in. Love…for him it wasn’t to that point yet. Even though there was a stifling feeling in his heart, he didn’t love Narisa Zeno yet. And it was going to take a while, even he knew that.
Although he knew that Narisa Zeno wouldn’t lie, he grew up in a family where their circumstances were very different. Tendou Yagami was always aware of every little thing when interacting with his stepmother and step-brother. The heir to the Yakuza group wasn’t decided yet, at this point, getting rid of other competitors were common in Yakuza families.
Plus, Tendou Yagami had never been in ‘love,’ at least not that he knew of. The only thing he ever did was infuriate people with his words, he was best at that. Other than that, he merely walked on with a cold face, sometimes, a snarky smile would make its way to his lips.
“You know that I could’ve used this to easily backstab you, right? Japan isn’t so open to homosexuality just yet.” As if trying to prove his point, Tendou Yagami smirked, the right side of his lip rising.
Narisa Zeno merely said, “You could, but you wouldn’t. I’ve never heard of you using underhanded methods to bring down someone.”
Hearing that, Tendou Yagami suddenly lifted a brow, scoffing as a tsk sound came from his mouth. “Then you should know my circumstances.”
Narisa Zeno opened up his mouth to reply at once but the door opening signaled that someone had finally arrived. The doors opened, revealing a man with red hair that was tied up.
“Yo, Zeno. Welcome to the gang, Yagami!” Seru Akita greeted as he walked in, staring at the distance between the two.
Tendou Yagami stared at the intruder as he nodded his head back, a silent greeting. Then, he returned to staring out the window.
Narisa Zeno watched, knowing that the conversation was now over. Although he wanted it to last longer, he knew that Tendou Yagami was thinking. And so, he turned to Seru Akita as he asked, “What happened? You’re normally not this late. Where’s everyone else?”
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
Hearing this, Seru Akita suddenly laughed as he answered, wiping away the tears at the corner of his face. “Zeno, you missed it. There was a massive fight between these two girls. They were literally tearing out each other’s hair and even ripping each other’s clothes. They fought even more aggressive than I did. And you know why they were fighting? They fought because supposedly, one of the girl stole the other’s boyfriend. I don’t know if it was true or not but that was a great start to the day!” Seru Akita took a seat in front of Narisa Zeno, turning to look back at him.
Then, being mindful of Tendou Yagami, Seru Akita leaned closer to Narisa Zeno as he said in a lower voice, “You were right. Today, Karma tried to get closer to Ren and asked him once more to join his gang. I’m sure that the other two have also done their turn. It’s rumored that the Tsukki family is strong too. Though not as strong as your father’s, they have their own power. What are you going to do? Are you just going to let them run wild for now before doing anything?”
Narisa Zeno bit the inside of his cheeks, slight anger could be found within his eyes. “I should’ve known that all it would take was one powerful man for them to forget about their words. I spent months to get them to sign that peace plan and they’re about to break it just like that.”
Tendou Yagami didn’t turn his head, but his ears were wide open. When he heard Tsukki Ren’s name, he smirked, his eyes glowering mysteriously. His encounter with that man was off to a very great start, and it sounded like they were going to run into each other quite a bit in the future. He wondered what else he should do to piss him off. Just directly beat him up?
“You should know how they are. They think with their strength, they have never used their brain. That’s where you rule since you have the brawn and the brain.” Seru Akita playfully rolled his eyes. “So what are you going to do? Do you need me to make a move? We can put the new member into work too.”
“No, let them do what they want for a while. I want to see how long this will go for before they remember that I am still here too. It’s been a while since we’ve had an incident this big. The last time was a year ago.” As Narisa Zeno said this, he shook his head with a sigh.
“Yeah, because your first year was spent getting loyal people and your second year was spent beating up anyone who threatened your position. After you did that, you immediately stepped back and let the other gangs tear at each other. This year, you established the peace plan to limit the fights that would break out.” Seru Akita said.
“It’s just a pity that people keep forgetting it’s not because you’re weak that you don’t fight but because you don’t want to send them to the hospital. If you used a fourth of your strength, you would still be able to send them to the hospital.” Seru Akita shivered, remembering the time when Narisa Zeno had broke a poor kid’s arm with one snap because the kid didn’t have eyes and actually tried to pick a fight with Narisa Zeno.
“Let them run around for a bit, I’ll use this time to catch up on other things. Also, be careful when you go out, Shida told me that someone’s been targeting me for a while now. And keep an eye on the other gangs for now, if you see anything strange happening, make sure you tell me.” Narisa Zeno concluded the conversation as he heard steps getting closer to the classroom. The fight most likely ended, all the students were coming back already.
“Got it, I’ll keep note of that.” Seru Akita nodded as he turned around and looked at the board as the door opened.
A cough was headed from the the side as Narisa Zeno turned to Tendou Yagami.
Tendou Yagami had very obviously heard the conversation. He knew that the reason why their guards weren’t up was because he was also a member of Lucifer now, and that, uhm…Narisa Zeno liked him.
It was weird to think so because Tendou Yagami didn’t know what part of him Narisa Zeno liked. His attitude was quite horrible to say the least and he also disliked people. Although he could fight, it was only because he enjoyed beating people up, even though it was only if they started the mess first.
So encountering this sudden build up, Tendou Yagami didn’t how to react to it. It was a bit uncomfortable. Even though he had guessed it, it still seemed to be going fast.
“Do you need my help?” Tendou Yagami finally asked as he got Narisa Zeno’s attention.
Narisa Zeno smiled at Tendou Yagami’s actions. “No, you being here is enough.”
And it was true, him being by his side was already enough. At least it was for him.
.
.
.
There’s nothing in this world that would ever be able to redeem what I have done. Nothing I ever do will change the fact that I have betrayed a man I loved, a man whom I had lied to from the very beginning.
My parents were killed when I was 12 years old, at that time, my brother was only 5 years old. From an early beginning, the only thing on my mind was to protect my brother no matter what. I learnt to be greedy, because without greed, how could you could get the things you want?
As I grew older, I had no position. It was only my power that kept me still standing high, still protecting my brother whom slowly changed with years.
I was 20 then. In that Summer, the sect leader of Fushui Sect had come to me. It was a deal, that I was to kill a man in return of becoming the Lord of Suzhou. I…took the deal without knowing what would happen, only thinking about how it would benefit my brother and I.
I began living in a desolate forest, preparing all the steps to my encounter with that man. Everything was staged, from him being chased and meeting me, to the fact that I had saved him.
The first time I saw him, he was breathing heavily, a hand clenching his chest. I wavered right then and there about my decision. But my wanting to protect my brother outweighed anything else then.
I saved him, even if it was staged. My task was to get close to him, find out everything about him and get the pendant somehow, and then…kill him.
But, with the time I spent treating his wounds, I grew softer. As he opened up more and more and I also began telling him about myself, something was changing. It was a change that brought about more disaster.
Before I knew it, I was already in love with him. I put down my guard. I forgot about my initial mission as I saw a different side to him.
One year, two years, we grew so close to one another. I could see how happy he was, his red eyes that glinted with joy. We didn’t say anything about our relationship because we both knew that this had long passed the boundary of friends.
And then, he asked me to marry him. I agreed, unknowing of what was to befall us. I remember what I had said to him on that day, I said I would never let him go. I was so in love, I forgot about why I had ever encountered him in the first place.
When we embraced one another that night, I remembered the shocking truth. That my mission was to kill him. I began fearing that he would realize everything because he had opened up to me about his past, his endless betrayals. I took this mission because I wanted to protect my brother, but I was already in too deep.
And when that day came, I still betrayed him. Even though I loved him so much, protecting my brother was the last duty my parents had given to me. I chose my brother, not the man I loved. Because I knew that if I back-stepped, they would harm my brother in turn. And I was not as strong as them yet. So I sacrificed the man I loved instead.
I remember his desperate grasp as we ran, his eyes that looked at me with hope.
And I remembered the moment I had stabbed his heart with the dagger I held within my two hands, the dimming light within his eyes, the betrayal and my own heart broke because of what I had sacrificed to get what my greed wanted.
His simple question shattered my heart apart.
“Why?”
That one word tore my heart apart but I stood there with an emotionless face even as my heart screamed at me to save him, that I could still change everything.
But my mouth opened to say the cruelest thing of all.
“Forgive me, this is something I have to do, Baicheng. Thank you for your feelings, but I cannot return them.”
And I pushed him off the cliff, my two hands shoved against the man who loved me with his whole being. As I watched him fall, I stared. I couldn’t cry, not when they were still around me. But, I watched his beautiful face disappear, and I hated myself. Because of my greed, because I was so selfish.
“Congratulations, Lord of Suzhou.”
It was the title that I had wanted so much, the reason why I had done what I had. But now, it only served as a mockery for what I had sacrificed to gain it. No…who I had sacrificed to gain it.
As I returned to the sect that day, I stepped upon my bedroom that was colder than even winter. One man wasn’t there anymore, no longer calling my name so affectionately, no longer running to embrace me. And I felt like death. I broke down when I returned, the tears finally flowing from my eyes as I collapsed to the ground, looking at my hands that I had used to stab him. I wanted so much to cut them off for I had used them to kill a man who loved me with his whole heart.
Even now, I still have nightmares about the time I had killed him, pushing him off the cliff. I would wake up in terror, and I tormented myself. Even as hundreds of years passed, as I became known as the Lord of Suzhou, I hated myself to the point of death for what I had done. I secluded myself from the world, as if I was trying to punish myself because I couldn’t die. I couldn’t die until I knew that my brother would remain safe. My brother was the only one who would visit me when I never stepped foot out.
I didn’t know much about the outside world, and that was why I had never known about his return.
When he returned, his whole being had changed. His revenge…was cruel. But, a part of me was glad that he was alive. I…wanted him to kill me, to avenge what I had done to him. But, he didn’t. He killed my brother instead, he had used that time to fool Fei Qianchi.
Everything was because of me, I knew that too well. I could’ve stopped everything had I never betrayed him. But I didn’t, I chose to betray him just like everyone in his life had.
I couldn’t hate him though, I had no right to. I lost everything I had protected, everything I sacrificed him for. And when Fei Shang came to me with a deal, I accepted it after some time.
To save my brother and bring Fei Qianchi back. Only then, could I finally do what I should’ve done since long ago.
I resent myself to no end, for I have brought upon everything. I blamed others, I blamed the man my brother loved, all the while, I knew all too well that it was because of me.
I was greedy, I was selfish, and for that, I paid with everything I had.
I lost a man whom had loved me, I lost a brother, I had killed so many because of my decision.
Everything was because me, I am the one to blame.
And because of that, I will spend my life hating myself, resenting myself to no end.
Because I had betrayed a man who was willing to give me the world, willing to love me forever.
Because…greed overcame me, and I became too selfish.
Maybe, greed wasn’t such a good thing in the end….
.
.
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From my point of view, if he really had loved Baicheng, he should have told him about that deal, and they could have tried to find a solution together to keep all three of them save. But instead he heartlessly killed his own husband, went into seclusion for “punishment” and when his brother died, he didn’t repent but found fault in anyone else, especially MC?
What’s that guys brain made of? sugar candy? air? Oh, an airhead, really nice.
Shelly ~ let’s send him over to “Even until death, the scum gong thought I was a white lotus” or “The strategy of washing clean a slag shou”…
And while we’re at it, let’s send Baicheng and Xue Lu as well.. (Especially Xue Lu)
Although one could say, Baicheng is just a victim who blackened after repeated betrayal, but he simply turned into a heartless monster. His way of taking revenge (betraying an innocent bystander in order to force another bystander to death only to hurt his ex-husband and on the way conveniently being the cause of death for both MC and ML) is simply inhumane and I just can’t find any positive point in him.
Shelly I love this novel o.o Thank you!
+1
100% agreed QAQ he rly self-justified himself out of guilt by saying it was to protect his brother and then victim blamed MC basically -0-
+3 i keep cursing and loving them at the same time!
I also think baicheng is too much but if I were in his place I will do same because death is most easiest escape for luoshi and if someone killed me for anything I will also destroy it whatever it is living or non living. The type of thing that hurts the most is that someone you love kill you. Even if you do not die you soul will die. So he wanted to give same pain to his younger brother. I dont think it is wrong. Parents mistakes are taken by children and elder brother’s by younger. If my sis makes any mistake i always take half punishment with her so I dont think that was wrong
+1
Dear my friend, You said everything I wanted to say.. thank you so much really (◡ ω ◡)
Btw +999
I do feel a bit of pity for Liushui. if my parents died and it was just my mei mei and I was just 20 and my sister 11, I would have done anything to ensure she got to grow up safe.. but I would not have gone into seclusion and instead would have gotten stronger and kept making sure she was safe.
So I do understand his decision and I partly agree with what he had to do. At 20, I made many spur of the moment decisions, for better or worse.
Liushui, at 20, had already agreed to do what he did and now his little brother was threatened.
Ugh why he has to do this (╥﹏╥) Aren’t Baicheng strong?? How about discussing the deal and solutions together? Aren’t you say you are greedy? Then how about taking both of them(ノಥ,_｣ಥ)ノ彡┻━┻
Poor Baicheng, He believed you so much even you started to betray him.. until u stabbed him, utterly destroyed him༎ຶ‿༎ຶ
Live this novel soo much!! Thank you for the chapter ❤️
The Angst tag on this novel is so justified. Well played author. I love it. ( πーπ)
Now i feel pity for him, he was just trying to protect his brother, that’s not wrong, sadly he didn’t saw another way than to sell his love for power, to save his family, so tragic. The real culprit are the uncles!
Thanks for the chapter!
It does not mean others have to die for your family. If I kill you and say its just for my family, will you be satisfied while thinking yeah I had a heroic sacrifice?
my father says we could do anything we want to do to save ourselves and family at our costs because its our obligation but we could not make them sacrifice others for us as it is not their obligation.
What is their to feel pity when he killed a man, the one who loved him so much????
will you also kill your bf/gf for your brother/sister?
Sí se dejó llevar bien feo, por eso no me avergüenzo tanto de seguir diciéndote pvt0, ah.
Creo totalmente que pudo haber buscado otra solución, pero weeeeeeno, ya fue, igual parte de mi agravio seguirá, ba
+1
What, am I supposed to pity him now ??? Killing a person who loved him unconditionally to save his brother is not honorable in any way.. On top of that his lover was not even a criminal who deserved death !!! Stop with all these self justifications..
Luishui can’t blame Baicheng, he won’t even blame himself.. Instead he put all the blame on Fei Qianchi..
Say, why does MC has to fall for his brother ??? He isn’t obliged to do so.. And ML wasted hundreds of years, yet never confessed.. Is MC supposed to realize ML’s feeling by telepathy ???
+100000000000
💙💙💙
Seperti yang diharapkan, saya tidak tersentuh oleh sudut pandangnya sama sekali dia pikir dia telah melakukan segalanya untuk melindungi saudaranya, itu hanya alasan, dia tahu bahwa ML mencintai MC tetapi dia bahkan tidak mendukung kebahagiaan ML
dan aku membencinya, karena dia menyalahkan semuanya pada MC sehingga MC harus berpikir bahwa ini benar-benar salahnya
Out of all the character who had suffer, Zu Liushui is the one who deserves to suffer the most. Not the ML or MC not even baicheng.
Trying to justify baicheng action eh, how annoying.. no matter if he’s the victim before but he’s the culprit now he deserve retribution too for what he did to mc n ml..
Im not trying to justify baicheng’s action my point here is that this messy things started because of MLs brother he should be the one who’s suffers the most and he had the audacity to blame the MC.
Of course that shtthead deserves all misery but when baicheng decided to involve mc then fck him too
Fvck them ml bro, baicheng, xue, i don’t give a damn about their drama, u guys involve people who have nothing to do with everything then being all sad n self victim blablabla fckkk i’m so pissed, i underestimate the angst tag
The two brothers really lack communication skills sigh
Alright, I understand that He Luoshi had already accepted the deal before falling in love but nevertheless he didn’t even once try to find another solution, another option. He never told Baicheng anything, just lied on and on and on v.v
Finally some damn accountability. He blamed everyone else when it was his fault.