“Team leader, I, ah, uh, huaah-.”
At that moment, a wet sound accompanied the withdrawal of the fingers. The sensation of the thick object scraping through the creases made me shudder. He bent over, and when he stood up again, the vibrator from earlier was in his hand.
Having completely forgotten the darkness, instead of releasing my hand from the wall, I bit my lips and swallowed my sobs. The Team Leader, still holding my hand firmly against the wall, glanced at it, then momentarily lifted the corners of his mouth.
“Good. You listen well.”
“…Uh, huk….”
“The insides are all loosened up now, so it shouldn’t hurt anymore.”
He covered the round surface of the vibrator with gel and entered between the spread buttocks. Despite my efforts to resist with my back and legs, it was futile. The firm object touched the swollen creases, mercilessly penetrating the inside.
He held my trembling body, fixed it, and with two fingers, pushed up the vibrator. Like a thin string attached to a stiff object, it stirred the sensitive flesh. As the fingers sank to the base, the vibrator went much deeper than when he had inserted his fingers earlier. The sound got caught in my throat.
With no strength in my legs, I collapsed, still holding onto the wall. Nothing came to mind. The Team Leader lifted me up, dangling me in the air. My back met the soft bed again. Both ankles were grabbed and spread wide. Looking up with a face covered in tears, he stared between my legs with an expressionless face.
“I really want to thrust my cock in.”
“Huk, if you, if you don’t see-.”
“It’s twitching like it’s going to burst from sucking on the string…Wish you could’ve seen it, Lee Seodan. I haven’t fucked you yet, but your hole is gaping.”
He pulled my ankles, making my buttocks exposed, deliberately teasing the revealed entrance slowly. He was still wearing the bathrobe. He traced the stiff and thick knot in the middle over the disheveled entrance. I cried out. The rough surface rubbed against the sensitive part, and the blue robe became dirty with the liquid I spilled. He showed me the white, opaque corner of the robe, teasing the convulsing entrance with his thumb.
“You should be putting it in well; it’s coming out already.”
Jokingly speaking, he grabbed the pink strap and swiftly pulled the vibrator out to the entrance. The swollen flesh was pulled out in one go, giving a chilling sensation. When the moist creases revealed the form, he forcefully pushed the vibrator back in, gathering his fingertips and thrusting it fiercely.
“Huk, uh, ah- it hurts-.”
“It’s not just pain, is it?”
A soft touch grazed my side and the bridge of my nose. Kwon Yido, with my legs spread, repeated the same teasing. When the stiff fingers were pushed in to the point where they couldn’t go any further, the vibrator, which had climbed up, reached a deep, untouched place inside.
I opened my eyes wide and shivered. Han Team Leader pulled out his fingers, lightly smacking the red crease tied with a thin string with his palm. There was a solid, wet sound. As if enjoying the amusement, he roughly patted the buttocks a few more times. The scorching heat gradually spread.
“I’m turning on the switch. I’m holding onto you.”
“Uh,it’s scary, please, team leader….”
My attempt to push his chest away was easily caught.
“Cute, but useless.”
He lifted me up, pulling me between his legs. Kneeling neatly like before, I held his upper arm with my two hands. His other hand went behind my back. Realizing that he had grabbed the switch of the vibrator, I silently shed tears.
“If it’s hard to endure, think it over.”
Our lips briefly touched. Then, he casually pressed the switch. The vibrator inside started buzzing. The sensation was beyond description. It was more vivid and dreadful than I had imagined.
I desperately recalled what I had forgotten. A safety word. The face of Han Team Leader was right in front of me, and his lips. It would be an easy task. Doing so would allow me to remove the vibrating object from inside me, which was like it was alive. I could put an end to the terrifying experience. So, I desperately lifted my face, but just as our trembling lips were about to touch, a thought crossed my mind. It was something he had said before.
Is this the limit of what I can endure? It wasn’t. I couldn’t endure the fear, but there was nothing else I couldn’t endure. It wasn’t that I couldn’t endure it, but I didn’t want to. Ultimately, this was also a tantrum.
So, while crying, I bit the lips that almost touched. I held his arm and let tears stream down. The vibration of the vibrator intensified inside me. The corners of Han Team Leader’s eyes folded long. He pushed his finger into the entrance that wouldn’t close, pulling the vibrator as if dragging it. He pressed it firmly, as if pressing on the vibrating point where he had rubbed with his fingers before.
It felt like my body was splitting apart, disintegrating into pieces. My body convulsed as if electrified. I held onto his arm, sobbing while my cheeks were slapped. Every time Han Team Leader leisurely pulled the string, I pressed my trembling body against him. He looked down, squinting his eyes, and laughed.
“Is this bearable?”
“Huk! Heug, eu- huah! Aah!”
He grasped my genitals and unexpectedly pushed the switch attached to the vibrator to the maximum. For a moment, the vibration seemed to weaken, but then a firm lump inside my body began to shake vigorously. It felt as if a red-hot piece of iron had entered.
I lifted my trembling lips several times and repeatedly bowed my head, biting them. Tears fell incessantly. It was too difficult. It was terrifying. There was nothing to cling to except for his strong arms.
He leisurely enjoyed watching me with a relaxed gaze. He wiped away the flowing tears, twisted my erect nipples, scratched the sensitive area with sharp nails, and messed up the wide entrance, teasing it lightly. The accumulated sensations throughout my body surged like snowballs. My abdomen bubbled with endless vibrations. It felt like I was dying. I clung desperately to Han Team Leader’s strong arm and pleaded.
“I want to come, please stop it….”
The shame for uttering those words had long disappeared from my tear-stained face. He, who had kissed my lips in sync with my uneven breath, pushed his tongue deeply between them. The hand holding the swollen organ pressed and rubbed the tip. It was a signal of permission.
A tremendous darkness, turning every climax I had ever experienced into waves before a deluge, engulfed me. There was no sound, and it flickered like a burst of light in front of my eyes.
I thought I might die like this. Ten seconds, twenty seconds. My body didn’t respond for that long. My toes went dark and fell off abruptly, then rose again at the end of a distant fall. I clung to Han Team Leader’s shoulders and cried. I continued to beg incoherently for help, for him to stop.
He sucked in my reddened eye corners, licked my teary face, and stroked my head, saying gently, “It’s okay.” He mercilessly teased my trembling inner walls with his ruthless fingers. With his strong arms, he held onto my convulsing body tightly throughout.
“…Shh.”
“Heueug, ugh, ah, ah….”
It was a deep, intertwining kiss. His tongue went in deeply, swirling around. My convulsing body gradually subsided. Forgetting how to speak, tears falling from my eyes, I desperately held onto him, and when he understood and smiled, he pulled the string. The vibrating vibrator smoothly slipped out of my body onto the bed. Only then did my body collapse weakly into his embrace.
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
“…Cgf sbe bxjs?”
Ljc Kfjw Ofjvfg, ktb tjv yffc mbwobgalcu wf jr lo tbivlcu j mtliv, jrxfv rboais cfjg ws fjg. P mbeivc’a cbv. Ktlr mbeivc’a yf cbgwji. P kjr jogjlv bo ktja wluta tjnf tjqqfcfv ab ws ybvs. Cr lo gfjvlcu ws wlcv, tf xlrrfv ws obgftfjv.
“Pa’r bnfg cbk. Kjxf j vffq ygfjat. …Ofa’r, ifa’r rabq.”
“Eu, heug, heug.”
He wiped away the lifeless tears from my eyes. As my vision cleared, he looked down at me with a smiling face. The teardrops kept warming my cheeks as if my eyes were malfunctioning.
“Will you keep crying like this?”
His voice was tinged with laughter.
“There won’t be any water left in your body.”
He gently kissed my lips. My torn lips were parched. The rest of my body was also trembling.
I slowly turned my head away from him, who was gently stroking my head. Even though I blinked my tears away, they welled up slowly, heatedly.
“It was very difficult for you.”
His hand came down and tenderly stroked my lower back. He held my waist firmly. I turned my head and buried my forehead in his neck.
“Heup….”
“Is it still painful? Where does it hurt? Here?”
Something was definitely wrong with my head. Otherwise, I couldn’t have felt this relieved, seeing his affectionate eyes. The hand that had been harshly punishing my buttocks now gently stroked my head. Why did it bring so much relief to the point of tears?
The anticipation that I had to keep waiting for him to finish everything terrifying and become affectionate was painful. My frayed nerves left me unable to distinguish anything now.
He swept back my hair soaked in sweat. He pressed warm and sweet lips on my forehead. My chest throbbed. The voice whispering quietly that I endured well melted my body like warmth. The desire to completely surrender my exhausted body to his tender arms was anything but normal. The sense of crisis from the discord suddenly swelled in my body.
“…Why. Don’t move, not yet.”
“I, will go…”
Trying to stand up abruptly, I staggered. Han Team Leader grabbed me again. There was no strength in my legs.
“Why, what do you need?”
“I want to go home… Please let me go.”
“Where are you going in that state?”
He easily turned me over and laid me down. When he pressed my shoulders, I couldn’t lift my body anymore.
“Do you think I’ll put Lee Seodan in this condition in a taxi and send him back?”
“….”
Han Team Leader asked in a low voice within reach of my nose. I closed my eyes completely, perhaps because of his subdued tone that sounded angry.
“Sleep here for the night. It will be difficult to move tomorrow.”
“….”
“If I suggest sleeping together here, would it be uncomfortable?”
I opened my eyes. When I saw his calm and composed face, my chest burned again. It felt like I had contracted some kind of illness.
“Please let me go.”
My voice came out painfully hoarse.
“I’ll go home.”
“I promise not to bother you anymore. If I’m here with you-”
“I don’t want to see Team Leader’s face right now.”
Not wanting to say anything more, I bit my lower lip and closed my mouth.
Han Team Leader remained silent for a while. The hand on my shoulder let go. The absence of warmth left an emptiness.
“…I understand. Then, I’ll leave.”
The words fell neatly as if cleanly cut. He got up and slipped out of the bed. The sound of him getting dressed could be heard. I didn’t open my eyes.
The rustling sound echoed, and a thick blanket covered me. He lifted my head, pushed a pillow underneath, and neatly pulled the blanket up to my chin.
“When you wake up, have something to eat before washing up. I’ll call you tomorrow, so pick up.”
“….”
“…Are you really okay alone?”
There was no response from my mouth. I pretended not to notice the tears welling up under my hot eyelids. Perhaps thinking I had fallen asleep while lying still, he let out a short breath. A shadow fell over my face, and the warmth of his lips briefly met mine.
“Sleep well. Let’s talk tomorrow.”
The sound of footsteps faded away. Whether the lights went out or my eyelids were soaked in the thick darkness, I couldn’t tell. As the door closed, only then did hot tears slowly trickle down my cheeks.
Even now, I wanted to get up and grab his sleeve with shaky hands. I didn’t want to be alone in this unsettling state. I wanted to be embraced again and receive comforting touches.
But how ironic would it be to seek comfort from the one who caused me this suffering? The warmth he extended was never genuine. Whether tormenting me or wielding affection opposite to that, it was all a clear amusement for him to watch me struggle.
My abused body ached. My chest felt as if someone had taken a piece of it. I pressed my cheek against the pillow and buried the trembling sobs. I thought about Han Team Leader who would be driving down late at night, traversing the bright lobby, perhaps thinking about me occupying the hotel room reserved in his name alone. I felt disgusted with myself for even thinking like that.
Then it happened. The familiar sound of the bell rang. I was startled, and instinctively groped near my head. Although my phone would be under the bed, the vibrating sensation reached my fingertips. Han Team Leader’s name was displayed on the screen.
The moment I saw it, my vision blurred. I fumbled to reach for the phone, but the persistent ring echoed several times. I finally exhaled a shaky breath, having blocked my ears.
“…Did I wake you up while you were sleeping?”
He didn’t reproach me for answering late. His soothing voice gathered warm breaths around my ear.
“Are you not going to answer because you don’t want to see my face now?”
“….”
I held the phone to my ear and listened quietly. Close to my ear, as if his lips were touching it, Han Team Leader spoke calmly and earnestly.
“If you don’t want to talk, just listen quietly. You’ve been through a lot today. I apologize for making you uncomfortable from our meal onwards, and I’m sorry for being more intense than I originally planned. You endured it well. I know you’ve put in a lot of effort, Lee Seodan.”
“….”
I took a deep breath to suppress the urge to cry. After a brief pause, he sighed.
“I wondered if you were okay, so I called. It bothered me to leave you alone. If you need anything, just say it; I’ll come up.”
“….”
“If you don’t want to say anything, that’s okay.”
His voice was low and gentle. I sealed my lips, fearing that if I opened them, I would lose the warmth being offered.
“I’ll let you sleep for now. Text me when you wake up. Understand?”
“….”
“And there’s something I should mention…”
His plain voice continued.
“Next week, I’ll hold you, Lee Seodan.”
It wasn’t his usual way of speaking. There were no vulgar or obscene remarks, no jokingly serious or sincerely absurd words. Instead, facing my ears that had gone silent and stiff, he added matter-of-factly,
“If it requires preparation, prepare yourself and come.”
“….”
“Sleep well, and see you at the company.”
After ending the call, he probably sat in the car, or leaned against the door while smoking a cigarette, recalling the call he made to me. He didn’t say anything like, “Sleep without thinking about anything” afterward. It was also a characteristic remark from him.
So, determined not to think about anything, I really didn’t. I buried my sluggish body in bed as if fleeing. It was a deep, dark sleep without dreams.
***
Throughout the week, I was a mess. I was a complete mess, as if trying to prove how weak and pathetic a person could become. I couldn’t focus on anything. I broke a cup even while drinking water, and on my way home, I missed my stop and had to walk a long way in the dark.
At work, my minor mistakes accumulated, leading me to be summoned separately by Han Team Leader. It was Wednesday. Alone in the data room, he made me stand still for twenty minutes without saying a word, not looking up from his phone. Then, standing up, he passed by me and muttered, “Get yourself together.” That was all he said to me throughout the week.
Unable to sleep, I walked the streets at night and recalled.
When I opened the door that day, five high school students in uniforms were bowing. Behind them, adults crowded the corridor, all dressed in good clothes. Entering them into our small house, my mother served coffee and orange juice. The living room was filled, and sitting side by side, the five high school students and their parents nodded deeply.
“We are reflecting a lot.”
One parent spoke as a representative. Beside them, a boy with a stern face twitched his mouth. Despite his large build, he was no more than a high school student. Looking back, I could see that. Why did I crouch in one corner of the living room back then, feeling so terrified? Why couldn’t I say anything, clenching my trembling lips? That’s how it was.
Suddenly, I stumbled on a pebble with my toe. After swaying for a moment, my eyes slowly warmed.
On Thursday, I came home and wrote my resignation letter. After writing it, I put it in an envelope and tore it open with my fingernails. I felt like I was going crazy. What would happen if I handed this to him? The only thing under my feet was the dark abyss that swallowed up all rational thoughts. Now, there was no sense of moral embarrassment or belated guilt for a wrong decision.
I just didn’t want to see him this Saturday. It wasn’t about not wanting to have sex with him.
I was scared. Terrified to the point of feeling like I would die.
Admitting that fear didn’t help me at all. Every time I met him at work, my hands trembled, and lying in bed, his touch that forcibly spread my legs came to mind. Saturday, like an execution day, approached day by day. Sleep wouldn’t come, the sun rose, and the numbers kept ticking away. Before I knew it, it was Friday.
“…Ah.”
The noisy sound reached my ears belatedly. My phone was ringing. I put my hand into my pocket and slowly pulled it out. I couldn’t discern the words on the dazzling screen, and my eyes groped over it for a while. A familiar name. It was my younger sister’s name.
– Why are you answering so late?
A familiar voice reproached me. I didn’t even realize I had pressed the call button. My sister spoke into my ear.
– Did I wake you up? Were you already asleep?
“No, I wasn’t asleep.”
– Then why does your voice sound like that? Did you catch a cold?
“A cold?”
– Colds are spreading harshly these days. I had it too, and now I’m getting better, but Mom still hasn’t fully recovered her voice since going to the hospital in the morning…
When I opened my eyes, I saw an unfamiliar alley. Having walked without a destination, I couldn’t tell how far I had come. I huddled my body, leaning against the wall within the illuminated circle of the dimly shining yellow streetlight. The forgotten cold rushed in all at once. The wind was biting enough to make my ears feel numb.
As the silence prolonged, my sister cleared her throat with a cough.
– How have you been, Oppa?
“Um, more or less.”
– Is work busy these days?
Suddenly, a noisy noise murmured through the receiver. My sister’s voice, reproaching someone, faintly reached me, along with the thumping music and the laughter of several people. My sister said in a hurry, “Just a moment.” There were rattling sounds in succession, then it quieted down again.
– Sorry, I wanted to talk on the phone, but my friends dragged me out.
“If you’re busy, we can talk later.”
– No, I’m not busy. I was just playing with friends… Well, I’m done. Came out. Ugh, it’s so cold. Are you at home, Oppa?
– No… I couldn’t sleep, so I went out for a short walk.
– Well, at this hour? Isn’t it dangerous at night in your neighborhood?
“…Who cares about who worries about whom.”
“Is that so?” my sister laughed. The bright sound echoed as if it could be grasped, and slowly subsided. Beyond the phone, her gentle breathing sounded slowly. Like someone left with only business in the basket she brought, my sister suddenly spoke.
– Oppa, my graduation ceremony is next week.
“I know.”
A short silence followed.
– I was going to contact you in advance… but somehow, it happened. It’s Tuesday morning, can you come that day?
“It might be difficult to take time off. It’s a busy period these days. Let’s meet separately later.”
Under the yellow light, my outstretched hand looked saffron. In the neat spacing of words, there was a black crack resembling an irreparable gap. My sister struggled to overcome that gap. At the end of a long silence, an urgent voice as if being chased came through the receiver.
– Oppa, you know.
“Tell me.”
– During the New Year’s holiday, this time. All the relatives gather… we eat together and all that. Big Oppa brought up the topic of you, Dad laughed it off and brushed it aside. Mom didn’t say anything special either. It’s been ten years since you moved out independently, did you know?
“Yeah, I know.”
– So, when I graduate, if you come, we can naturally meet on this occasion… It might be better not to create a separate space, right?
My aching head groaned sharply. It felt like someone was pressing on my temple with a blunt tool. Leaning against the wall, I slowly sank down.
– I’m not saying this lightly. I’ve thought about it a lot.
My sister spoke rapidly, as if reciting something she had memorized without hesitation.
– It might be good for Oppa to think about it now. Parents won’t live forever. Even though it’s been several decades, families can resolve misunderstandings and live well again. It’s possible because we’re family.
“….”
– Mom knows that I’m in contact with Oppa, and sometimes she asks about Oppa’s well-being.
“I don’t know where the misunderstanding is.”
– …What?
