The elevator stopped on the twelfth floor with a ding, and the door in front of him parted, when figure flashed in front of him. Before he could see who the visitor was, he had already been pulled out of the elevator, pushed onto the wall, and then got kissed on the mouth.
The always calm and clean atmosphere in his memories was replaced by the strong taste of alcohol, which made Jian Suiying feel like burning. His lips were cruelly kissed, and in his ear came Li Yu’s voice, “I miss you, I miss you…”
Jian Suiying cursed Li Yu in his heart, vigorously stretching his arm and pushing him away.
Li Yu stumbled a bit and he seemed to have drunk a lot. He stood against the wall, his pale face looking disheveled, and he had lost a lot of weight.
Jian Suiying really wanted to stuff him into the big trash can by the stairwell, since it also his moral character.
Li Yu’s eyes were bloodshot, and one couldn’t tell how long he hadn’t slept. After a while, he touched his lips and spoke hoarsely, “I really miss you. I miss you every day.”
Jian Suiying sneered and said, “I won’t buy this. There are too many people who miss me.”
Li Yu lowered his head as if he was unable to bear the burden. He slowly raised the document bag on his hand to Jian Suiying and said, “Jian-ge, this is 30% of the company’s shares. As for the rest, I will definitely compensate you. For the losses you have suffered, I will double my compensation to you. I beg you, Jian-ge, give me a chance…”
Jian Suiying’s facial muscles were twitching, and he really wanted to slap Li Yu and his big mouths. Does he really think that it’s the money he can’t forget? He suppressed his anger and pressed the open button for the elevator, saying, “Either you get out of here now, or I’ll throw you down the window.”
Li Yu shook his head, and his eyes, which were somewhat hazy due to drunkenness, barely regained focus. “Jian-ge, have you been living at his house for so long? Do you plan to stay here forever? When will you be able to go home? I’ve been waiting for you to come home…”
Jian Suiying cursed, “I don’t have a home! My mother died, my father married someone else, and I have a sh*t family.”
Li Yu’s eyes tinged with sadness, “Then you can make a family with me. Jian-ge, I am too terrible at the moment, but I will definitely become a man you can rely on. You like me, so continue to like me, and I will definitely not let you down this time.”
A sour sensation welled up in Jian Suiying’s nose, which made him extremely uncomfortable. When he got frustrated with Li Yu multiple times before, he always dreamed of one day completely conquering Li Yu and making him pay great attention, full of admiration for him. Unfortunately, there had been no such day, and he only feels sad because he had also lost himself. Liking and flattering Li Yu seemed to have become an instinct of his, just like the people who were aware that their bad habit was bad but couldn’t quit it.
He can’t easily quit on Li Yu.
He suffered a complete defeat and was so down that he hid in his lover’s house and dared not see anyone, especially Li Yu.
Every time he saw this person, he remembered how cheap and stupid he used to be. Li Yu’s existence seemed to be the embodiment of his embarrassing and humiliating past. As soon as he saw Li Yu, he wanted to slap himself in the face, and he regretted why he was so serious about considering their future like a fool. This person had never taken him seriously after all.
He was not that kind of person before, and it turns out that he wasn’t suitable for being such an affectionate person either. Everything he was in now is the result of his excessive efforts. So now the more he looked at Li Yu, the more he suffered.
Jian Suiying looked at him coldly and said, “Li Yu, we already broke up. Don’t come back to me again. You have a great future. What are you doing with me, an unscrupulous homosexual? Besides, you’ve taken almost all of my property. If you fuck me up again, I’ll have to go out on the streets and beg for food. Yet why do you still have the face to appear in front of me?”
Li Yu agitatedly replied, “Everything is my fault. I know that apologizing to you won’t help, so I want to try my best to remedy it. Jian-ge, I will do everything I can to restore everything I have ruined. Tell me what to do, I’m willing to do anything. But I cannot give up on you. We are tied together, and I will never admit that the break up is real.”
Jian Suiying cursed, “Do you want to keep your dignity or not? When did you, Li Lao-er, become so shameless and undignified that you’d go pester a man?”
Li Yu’s face paled, “Didn’t you keep saying that one day I will definitely be special enough to hover between life and death? You’re right, I like you, and I have no reason to let you go and let you be with someone else.”
Jian Suiying was angered, “I’m motherf*cking disgusted with you! I was blind at the beginning and only took a fancy to you! You’re a greedy and unscrupulous ingrate, why do you like me? You don’t deserve me! My surname is Jian. No matter how unruly I am, I don’t scam people, and I don’t apologize to anyone! How much do you like me? How much do you think I’m worth? Laozi doesn’t give a f*ck!”
Li Yu wiped his face and forced himself to calm down. He spoke with a deep voice, “Jian-ge, it’s really hard to hear yourself talk when you’re angry… But no matter how much you curse me out, it’s no use. I remember the days when we were together, communicating with you, it was like there was always something different. But now, after we parted ways, I felt like I got to know you even more.” He lifted his head and frowned, his dim gaze wandered around Jian Suiying’s face, “I feel that you still like me. I’m already grown and I’m rarely interested in people or things, but as long as I put my focus to it, I would persist, especially if its for you. I want you to see how much I can persist, and I want you to know that I’m being sincere…” Li Yu said, voice choking up, “Jian Suiying, you can be as proud as you can. If I don’t have you now, I feel like I won’t be me anymore. Back then, you intervened in my life regardless if I had any objections to it. Now you can’t just leave immediately. I won’t let you come or leave as you want, you must take me with you. I won’t let you leave on your own, nor will I let you be with other people. You have to spend your whole life with me, Li Yu, even if it takes me my entire life to atone for what I did to you.”
Li Yu’s body was trembling, and there was a strong aura of alcohol, but his eyes were unusually firm and clear.
Jian Suiying was stunned by this aura for a few seconds, but he soon shook himself, took a step back, and spoke sarcastically, “You two Li brothers are really boring me.” He turned around to walk into the house. He couldn’t stay and confront Li Yu anymore.
Li Yu caught what he said and shouted behind Jian Suiying, “What did my brother tell you?”
Jian Suiying had no intention of responding, but his feet unconsciously stopped. He stiffened, hesitated for two seconds, and suddenly turned around, replying, “Li Yu, when I was still with you, you thought homosexuality was embarrassing and kept our relationship hidden wherever we went. Now that we’re like this, you’re suddenly flaunting it to your family. Did your mind get squished or something?”
Li Yu opened his mouth and replied, “Did my brother tell you?”
“Do you think I wanted to know? I don’t want to know a single thing about your business. You two should go home and discuss it. Close the doors to your own business and don’t f*cking bother me with it.”
Li Yu’s voice was hoarse, “That day when I got home, my dad wanted to introduce me to his friend’s daughter. I didn’t want to see her, but he forced me to go, so I told him that I like men. Even when I used to like Jian Suilin, I still thought that one day I would follow in my brother’s footsteps and have a normal life of getting married and having children, but after you, I can’t do it anymore. Jian-ge, whether you can forgive me or not, I won’t find anyone else, so this matter with my family will happen sooner or later. I just didn’t expect my brother to be able to guess that it’s you.”
Jian Suiying trembled and said, “Are you sick in the head?!”
Even a promiscuous playboy like him didn’t even tell his father upfront that he liked men. Even though his father knew it, at least that layer wouldn’t break, and he could handle it year after year.
Yet, how could Li Yu do it so unabashedly? He seemed to be resolute in everything he said and did, saying he didn’t like him before. In that year, he never gave him any hope, even when he scammed him and Jian Suiying dealt with the toughest battles. Now, he even made a scene in front of his whole family for him.
When he first met Li Yu, he only felt that he was beautiful and sexy, especially with his simple and aloof temperament that made his heart skip. He never expected that Li Yu was covered in thorns and untouchable. If he were someone else, his lust would only rise, and encountering the cactus-like Li Yu would have led to failure. Unfortunately, it happened to be Li Yu, and he got unfortunate enough to see the insidious and ruthless side of this usually quiet and dignified young master.
After all these debts, the situation was now in chaos. Since knowing Li Yu confronted his family until now, his heart has been unable to calm down. Li Yu did something he never even thought of doing himself. For him, it was impossible to say that he had no feelings at all.
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
Li Yu’s coldness, ruthlessness, and recklessness have already confused him thoroughly. Li Yu cut off his own bright path and came to express his motives to him, but why should he mercifully take it just because Li Yu cornered himself? How could he let himself be foolish again?
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Jian Suiying glanced at him, turned stiffly, quickly opened the door and entered the house, locking Li Yu outside. After he entered the house, he found all the alcohol. Alcohol was a good thing, so only when he drinks too much can he fall asleep.
Xiao Zhu returned home from work and was unexpectedly faced with two drunkards.
A man was leaning against his doorstep, wrapped in thick clothes but with no trace of blood on his face. He looked as if he were dead and was asleep.
Another person was leaning on the sofa, and the heating seemed to have evaporated all the cool air in the room. The smell of alcohol permeated the completely stagnant air, almost causing him to suffocate.
Xiao Zhu looked at Li Yu and was truly worried. He already had a bad impression of this person and doesn’t want to interfere with him privately. But now the temperature in the hallway should be below zero. He remembered various scary stories about the winter in the north, such as drinking too much and falling asleep on the street the next day with frostbites. The more he thought about it, the more serious the matter became. Especially when he was still at his doorstep, he began to dislike Li Yu again, because while he doesn’t have a deep hatred, he shouldn’t treat others like that.
Even more, this person has a past with Jian Suiying that he doesn’t know about.
He moved Li Yu slightly and opened the door, intending to let Jian Suiying decide what to do. But as soon as he opened the door, the smell of alcohol made him wrinkle his nose. Upon entering the room, he saw Jian Suiying leaned against the sofa and was asleep, completely devoid of any movement.
Xiao Zhu observed the two people who were sleeping like death, and was really dumbfounded.
He stood in a daze at the door for two minutes, but finally had to reluctantly drag Li Yu into the room and lay him on the wooden floor. The heating in the room was turned on very high, so as soon as he entered the door, he started sweating, and it wouldn’t be too cold to sleep anywhere. However, Xiao Zhu still found two blankets and covered them separately.
While he covered Li Yu with a blanket, he squatted on the ground and studied Li Yu’s face for a long time. He thought that if he looked like this… no, it’s useless. No matter what he looked like, he was still not from the same world as Jian Suiying.
He got up and started cleaning up the mess Jian Suiying had caused, then started cooking. Unfortunately, even after he finished cooking, Jian Suiying hasn’t woken up.
Around 10:00 in the evening, Li Yu’s phone suddenly rang. The room was quiet, and the sound was abrupt and loud, which startled Xiao Zhu. The two people who were asleep also reacted to the noise. Watching both of the people who started to wake up, Xiao Zhu became a bit flustered. He stood by and watched as Jian Suiying got up.
“F*ck… it’s so noisy…”Jian Suiying’s head hurt. He rubbed his eyes and saw Xiao Zhu standing not far away, looking at him with concern.
“Suiying…” Xiao Zhu poured him a glass of water, “Drink some water.”
“What’s that noise? Turn it off.”
Xiao Zhu looked at the floor near the door in embarrassment. Jian Suiying turned his head, following his gaze and saw Li Yu groping around for his phone in a daze.
“Why is he here?”
Xiao Zhu said, “He fell asleep by the door, I was afraid he might get sick from the cold.”
Jian Suiying frowned, “Throw him out, he won’t freeze to death.”
Xiao Zhu looked at Li Yu and whispered, “Come on.”
Jian Suiying walked over to Li Yu and kicked him, saying, “Get out of here, you’re really noisy”
Li Yu got up in a daze and glanced at Jian Suiying, with a hint of confusion and surprise in his eyes. He finally touched his phone, but upon looking at the screen he moved his finger towards the hang-up button.
Jian Suiying quickly bent down and grabbed his phone. Seeing that it was Li Xuan, he answered it.
Li Xuan’s angry scolding came from the other end of the phone. “Who told you to run away! Our parents are angry, where have you been?”
Jian Suiying replied, “He came to find me, hurry up and take him back.”
Li Xuan was stunned, “Jian Suiying?” Then he cursed and said, “Where is he? I’ll go pick him up.”
Jian Suiying gave him the address and asked him to arrive as soon as possible. Then he threw the phone at Li Yu.
Li Yu got up from the ground, looked around the room, and finally, his gaze fell on Xiao Zhu.
Xiao Zhu glanced at him, then turned his head away.
Li Yu said hoarsely, “You’ve been living here for so long?”
Jian Suiying pointed at the door and looked at him silently.
Li Yu pretended not to understand, but instead sat down on the sofa, fixed his hair, and placed the documents he brought on the coffee table. “Jian-ge, won’t you at least take a look? It won’t hurt you.”
“I don’t want to see it. It’s none of my business if you fight with Jian Suilin.”
Xiao Zhu said, “Suiying, let’s eat first.” He originally intended to just remind Li Yu that they were driving him away. However, the word “Suiying” suddenly made Li Yu’s body freeze. He sat up straight and squinted at Xiao Zhu, saying, “What do you call him?”
Xiao Zhu trembled and couldn’t help but look down at the ground.
Li Yu stood up, approached him in two quick steps, and raised his voice, “What did you just call him?”
Jian Suiying pushed him and raised his eyebrows, saying, “It’s none of your business.”
Li Yu growled, “Who are you?! Do you deserve to call him that?!” Li Yu was so jealous that he wanted to strangle the boy in front of him. He’d been with Jian Suiying for over a year, yet Jian Suiying has never told him to call him “Suiying”. He only said, “Don’t call me Jian-ge anymore, call me by any name.” He wasn’t willing then, but now this duckling rolling with Jian Suiying cash, could it be allowed to call his name directly?! Why is he allowed?!
For the first time, he felt an unbearable sense of turmoil. In the past, even though he hated Xiao Zhu, he never considered him a threat. But when Xiao Zhu called out Jian Suiying’s name personally, his heart felt like it was wrenched.
Jian Suiying lives at his house, and the two of them were together day and night. He doesn’t know, but they might no longer have the transactional relationship that he disdained, but…
He no longer dared to think further. The possibility of Jian Suiying being in another relationship will definitely make him lose control on the spot.
Xiao Zhu’s face was pale and looked helpless.
Jian Suiying frowned and said, “Li Yu, I’ll say it again, get lost.”
The veins on Li Yu’s forehead were bulging from his anger, and Jian Suiying’s attitude made him grow restless like wild grass. He slowly clenched his fists.
Xiao Zhu wasn’t a daring person. Seeing Li Yu’s fierce and evil demeanor made him tremble with fear.
Li Yu held back a few words from between her teeth and said, “Jian Suiying, you asked him to call you that.”
Jian Suiying didn’t actually think it was a big deal. The reason he didn’t ask Li Yu to call him by his name was partly because of the matter in bed, and because he couldn’t get along well with Li Yu back then. He felt a bit suffocated. Li Yu called him ge, so he could still regain some face.
He was quite unhappy with Li Yu’s murderous expression when he asked Xiao Zhu, and he angrily said, “Don’t you understand human language? I told you to get out of here, immediately, now!”
Li Yu glared at Jian Suiying fiercely and kicked the coffee table over with his foot. “I rolled away and now you’re sweet with him, aren’t you? I don’t want to f*cking leave! Suiying, why can I not compare with him? You were good with me one day, then you change lovers the next. Are you really not tired of this!” When he spoke, his body shook and his voice trembled, and his chest felt a sharp pain.
It’s really terrible. How did Li Yu get to where he is today?
Jian Suiying eyes widened as he looked at Li Yu. In his eyes, Li Yu was already acting abnormally, but he was so angry that he couldn’t speak.
Xiao Zhu bit his lips and struggled for a long time. Finally, he mustered up the courage to say, “Please… leave, this is my home.” As he spoke, his voice grew quieter. However, it still sounded like thunder in Li Yu’s ear.
He was already like a barrel of gunpowder filled to the brim, and this undoubtedly set him on fire. He pushed away Jian Suiying and rushed over, grabbing Xiao Zhu’s collar and saying, “What did you just say?”
Xiao Zhu shrank with fear.
Jian Suiying frowned at the two.
For a moment, he realized with sadness that what he always admired was the type of man who dared to defend himself when encountering enemies, rather than a weak little boy like Xiao Zhu who could only shrink back in troubled times. He wanted a partner that he admires and was willing to protect him like a man. He doesn’t want the other person to act girly, needing his protection everywhere.
But he still quickly reacted and went to pull Li Yu away, then gave him a hard slap in the face. “Are you so sick in the head that you’d run to someone else’s house to cause trouble?”
Li Yu glared at him dejectedly.
Just as the three of them were deadlocked in silence, the doorbell rang.
Jian Suiying’s intuition said that the person outside was Li Xuan. He didn’t expect Li Xuan to arrive so quickly just after hanging up the phone for only twenty minutes. He said to Xiao Zhu, “Go and open the door.”
Xiao Zhu couldn’t help but immediately get out of Li Yu’s clutches and ran to open the door.
The moment his hand touched the door handle, Jian Suiying added, “Then you go to your room.”
Xiao Zhu’s body trembled. He hummed in agreement, opened the door, and then went into the bedroom.
Li Xuan walked in from the door and glanced at Jian Suiying coldly. Then he calmly walked over to Li Yu, slapped him in the face, and then scolded him. “Li Yu, you don’t think you’ve embarrassed yourself enough?”
Li Yu slowly raised his head and said with bloodshot eyes, “Ge, don’t worry about me anymore. You can’t care about me, I like him, I can’t even care about myself anymore.”
Jian Suiying closed his eyes, and every word from Li Yu hit him straight to his heart.
Li Xuan’s face turned ugly and he growled, “Are you mentally ill? Can’t you see what he means? If fighting like this persistently was effective, why are so many people committing suicide in the world? Can you leave some face for yourself? Leave some face for our Li family? Don’t you realize that being gay is a huge deal?”
Li Yu tightly pursed his lips, his face white as if terrified. He had never experienced such humiliation in his life, whether it was from Jian Suiying or his older brother. The first 21 years of his life were meticulously put together, making it difficult to spot any flaws. But now he must truly be sick, otherwise, how could he ask a man to change his mind in such a desperate voice and compete with a person he despised like a bitch?
But he still didn’t want to leave this place, and he still couldn’t give up on Jian Suiying. Compared to humiliation and shame, the fear of being a stranger to Jian Suiying overcame everything. Jian Suiying no longer wants to turn back. If he just lets him go like this, they will be like this for the rest of their lives. He really can’t accept it.
Li Xuan saw that Li Yu was still motionless. He sighed heavily and slowly told Jian Suiying, “Li Yu has talked to me about many things… It is our responsibility to educate him well. I will take him away so that you don’t have to meet again in the future. You can rest assured, and our family can also be assured.”
Jian Suiying glanced at the lost-looking Li Yu and turned away. Li Yu, however, looked straight at Jian Suiying without hesitation, with a deep, undivided gaze.
Li Xuan felt extremely tired. He had already delayed his work for several days due to Li Yu’s situation, so he squeezed out a few more days of time and waited until the 15th before returning. Seeing that he could no longer drag on and had to return to Beihai, how could he be assured with his younger brother’s appearance and the terrible family situation?
He pushed Li Yu and said sternly, “Let’s go.”
Li Yu didn’t move.
“Let’s go.” Li Xuan pushed him hard again. “Li Yu!”
Li Yu clenched his fists, gave Jian Suiying a deep look, and turned to walk towards the door. Li Xuan gave Jian Suiying a silent glance and followed him away.
Jian Suiying stared at the empty corridor and closed the door.
He slowly moved back onto the sofa, lit a cigarette, and called out, “Xiao Zhu, come out now.”
Xiao Zhu opened the door and walked out, with an expression on his face that showed no signs of joy or sadness, yet carried countless feelings of helplessness.
Jian Suiying placed an elbow on his knee, moved his fingers to support his forehead, and gently rubbed his temples.
Xiao Zhu whispered, “Have they left?”
“They’re gone.”
Xiao Zhu stood helplessly, looking at him for a long time before asking, “Do you want to eat?”
“I don’t want to eat.” Jian Suiying suddenly felt irritable for no reason and said roughly, “I don’t want to f*cking eat!”
Xiao Zhu’s body shook, and he grew even more hesitant to speak.
Jian Suiying held his head in silence for a long time and spoke hoarsely, “I can’t stay with you all the time anymore. I need to find something productive to do. Besides, Li Yu already knows I’m here, and I don’t know if he’ll bother me again, so I’ll move back in a few days.”
Xiao Zhu opened his mouth, and his eyes started to redden.
Jian Suiying raised his head and looked at Xiao Zhu’s aggrieved expression, feeling that it was a bit unbearable, “Come, sit down, don’t just stand there.”
Xiao Zhu sat next to him and stared at him intently, “You’re leaving.” He finally had to leave. Although he knew this day would come, it happened much sooner than he thought. He wished that their time together could last longer.
Jian Suiying threw the cigarette into the ashtray and whispered, “Xiao Zhu, that girl today likes you very much.”
Xiao Zhu blinked and nodded lightly.
“I didn’t mean to break this friendship with you when I move back, but it’s up to you whether you want to break it or not. We can be together for as long as we can. Even if we split up, I can still help you if you have any difficulties in the future. But at most, that’s it. I’m not a person that settles down, you should understand.”
Xiao Zhu nodded silently, tears forming in his eyes. How could he not understand? He is not the one who can keep Jian Suiying.
“I don’t know your family situation, but generally, one day you’ll have to take the path of getting married and having children. You weigh the situation up yourself, if you’re willing to be by my side, I’ll be willing to stay with you, but I don’t want you to delay things for us. “Jian Suiying could tell that Xiao Zhu likes him, and he has already seen such admiration in the eyes of many people before.
But in the end, he still chose someone who was so disdainful of him.
If it were someone else, he wouldn’t have any feelings. There are more people in the world who can’t get what they wanted and there are also more people out there who liked him. He was too tired to give even a sense of pity. But in his heart, Xiao Zhu is no longer the same. He would really miss his company and he truly sympathizes with him. This boy is kind and gentle. Regardless of whether or not he had any ulterior motives by staying with Jian Suiying, at least he is wholeheartedly good to him. Jian Suiying’s roguish lifestyle cannot bear to take advantage of that. He also doesn’t think Xiao Zhu is fully gay, so he doesn’t want to deter him.
Xiao Zhu felt so uncomfortable that he wanted to cry, but he still wiped away his tears and said with a faint smile, “Jian Shao, I understand.”
Jian Suiying was stunned and carefully weighed the words “Jian Shao”, feeling somewhat uneasy in his heart.
Xiao Zhu calmly said, “That girl was introduced to me by my mother. I don’t hate her; she needed someone to take care of her in Beijing, so I did. We’re… still just trying things out to see if it’ll work out… Our family got married early, but I still think she’s too young to be sure of it now…” Xiao Zhu said, as if he couldn’t grasp the gravity of it all. His heart was already in a mess, and he couldn’t continue, staring blankly at his palm. “I can’t say for sure what the future would bring…”
Jian Suiying patted his head and said softly, “If you get married, I will give you a big red envelope.”
Xiao Zhu suppressed the bile coming up and forced his tears back.
TL Note:
We’ve finally reached chapter 20, and only 3 more chapters remain until the finale. If all goes according to plan, I will be completing the main story by June. Translating this novel took me almost 2 years, and I’m a little sad that it’s going to end, but also relieved XD. Thanks for reading my translation and being patient everyone. Don’t forget to support the raws and the adaptations if you can too.
I am reluctant to say goodbye to these characters too. Thank you for picking it up too. I am grateful to you.
Oh my, time really flies. Thank you for translating this! Can’t wait to see how it ends, even if it’ll be sad to say goodbye to them
i feel bad for xiao zhu, he’s really too good. I can’t believe we’re closer to the end, thank you so much for the translation
Is there a separate story for xiao zhu??
I’m reading the first part rn and seeing how LiYu is clinging on to him, irl he’s the type of person I’d better stay away from, ppl like him are the worst irl, obvi this is a novel and they’ll end up together ( don’t get me wrong I ship them alot too ) but irl if this were to happen it’d ruin both people’s lives so yeah …..