Li Yu followed Bai Xinyu into a building behind him and saw that the elevator he was taking stopped on the twelfth floor. He stood at the elevator door, hesitating for a long time, unable to make up his mind to go up but, at the same time, unwilling to leave.
At this moment, his phone rang, and he took it out and saw that it was his brother calling. He sighed and answered the call.
Li Xuan was furious on the other end of the call, “Li Yu, you finally answered the phone. How old are you already? You didn’t even answer phone calls from your family. What’s the matter with you?”
Li Yu’s eyes were still fixed on the number 12, and his mind was full of Jian Suiying, unable to fit anything else in.
“I still have something to do…”
“What’s the matter with you huh? I heard from Dad that you don’t come home as often anymore ever since the holidays started. It’s inappropriate for your family to still lecture you when you’re already so old, but you shouldn’t go too far. This new year’s eve, in a room full of our relatives, you left so soon and didn’t even return after a whole day. Where have you been?”
“Ge, I really have something to do.”
“Alright, you have something to do. You’ve never been like this before though, Li Yu. What’s the matter with you these days? You always have a sense of propriety in your work, and we haven’t restricted you much in your growth, haven’t we? What should you say to your family, you can’t just leave and not return without even saying a word. Is that how you handle things?”
Li Yu whispered, “Then I’ll go home right now.”
Li Xuan said angrily, “You sound quite reluctant, aren’t you? Are you in a relationship?” Li Xuan thought of this possibility and spoke lowly. Nowadays, th younger generation often feel like dying when they’re dating. If Li Yu was acting so strangely because of dating, it’s still acceptable.
Li Yu didn’t speak after that, which confirmed Li Xuan’s guess even more. “So you’re heartbroken, then.”
Li Yu hung up and stared at the elevator for a long time before reluctantly leaving.
—
“Ge, ge,” Bai Xinyu shouted from behind Jian Suiying.
Jian Suiying was annoyed, “What the hell are you doing?”
Bai Xinyu said, “I didn’t mean to eavesdrop. It was really you two who were speaking so much that it was hard for me to appear…”
Jian Suiying glared at him and turned to pour himself a glass of alcohol, without any intentions of continuing the topic.
He sat barefoot on the sofa, his hair scattered, and his soft cashmere sweater and linen pajamas gave him a bit of a lazy aura. He tilted his head slightly and looked out of the window, holding a wine glass in one hand and a cigarette in the other. From Bai Xinyu’s perspective, he could see his beautiful side face and short stubble.
Bai Xinyu had long known that it wasn’t surprising for anyone to go crazy over his Ge. Even just sitting there, with such a disheveled and decadent appearance, Jian Suiying looked like a painting. He threw himself onto the sofa as well and smiled, “Ge, if that guy’s your type, then I know a handsome male model. I’ll call him to show you, okay?”
Jian Suiying took a drag of smoke and said, “Save it. What are you still doing here anyway? If you’re so idle, just go back home already.”
“I just came here to accompany you. It took me a lot of effort to get this leave, and I may not be able to come back next year. I’ll make amends for you and help you relax for now. I can’t let you keep feeling down like this…”
Jian Suiying glanced at him and said lowly, “From which eye did you see me feeling depressed? I just caught a cold, so I didn’t want to talk.”
“Okay, okay. Anyway, I’ll dedicate the time I have right now for you.”
Jian Suiying remained silent for a moment, then said, “Come with me to Qinhuangdao.”
“Ah?”
“I have to pay my grandfather new year’s greetings, so you drive.”
“Now?” Bai Xinyu checked his watch, it was almost 11:00 pm already.
Jian Suiying put out his cigarette and stood up, “Let’s go now.”
That night, Jian Suiying fell asleep in the car for a while, and by the time he woke up, Bai Xinyu had already driven the car to his grandfather’s house.
Lao Jian had already gone to bed, and so the housekeeper opened the door for them. After the two entered the house, they fell asleep until they were awakened by the fragrant smell of food the next day.
After Jian Suiying woke up, as soon as he entered the living room, he saw his grandfather reading a newspaper. When he heard them come in, he looked up and smiled, “How did you sleep?”
Jian Suiying looked at Lao Jian’s spirited look and suddenly burst into laughter. He walked over and sat next to Lao Jian and replied, “I slept well.”
“Why were you in a hurry to come over here so late at night, and you didn’t even say anything? It’s not safe to drive in the middle of the night, you know.”
Jian Suiying laughed, “I just missed you.”
The old man chuckled, “Have you recovered from your cold already?” He touched Jian Suiying’s forehead, “It’s not hot. You’re doing better now. The men of the Jian family aren’t afraid of minor illnesses or disasters, after all.”
Yes, you’re right, the men of the Jian family aren’t afraid of minor illnesses or disasters.”
Lao Jian looked at him with a smile on his face, and both of them tacitly did not mention anything about the company or Jian Suilin. Instead, they had a leisurely meal. They chatted about their daily lives, the weather, and Bai Xinyu occasionally interrupted with a joke or stories of their childhood. They had a peaceful meal.
After dinner, Lao Jian gave Bai Xinyu a big red envelope.
This boy is already in his twenties but wasn’t ashamed in receiving the envelope at all, he chuckled and put it in his pocket.
Jian Suiying mocked him, “Do I also have to hand you one?”
Bai Xinyu quickly said, “Have a prosperous New Year, ge.”
Jian Suiying sneered and fumbled in his pocket for a while, stuffing his hands with all the cash in his wallet.
Aside from him, Lao Jian, and Bai Xinyu, there were also Lao Jian’s caretakers in the room. In total, there were around eight people. The heating kept the room warm, and the cold from outside was dispelled completely. The whole room was full of chatter and laughter as people played chess and cards. It was truly a lively and joyful New Year.
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
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Jian Suiying fantasized for a moment about Lao Jian beating up his father around the house and chuckled. At the same time, he couldn’t help but sigh. He knows the relationship between Lao Jian and his father, and he was afraid that it would be difficult for it to be repaired in this lifetime. The two of them were unable to sit together in the same room and say more than a few words, and then there was the issue between Jian Suiying and Jian Suilin, so Lao Jian could no longer forgive his son. He also didn’t want to face his father again.
He shook his head and watched a helper put his clothes in his suitcase.
“You’re going back today?” Lao Jian asked.
“Well, he’s going back to the army, he’ll be leaving from Beijing.”Jian Suiying pointed his chin in Bai Xinyu’s direction.
Bai Xinyu sighed, “I’ll be going back into the middle of nowhere again.” Although he sounded quite reluctant, Jian Suiying noticed that he couldn’t conceal the smile on his face.
Jian Suiying joked, “I think you actually want to go back. What’s the matter, the aunties in the cafeteria are all so beautiful?”
“Nonsense, there’s no aunts in the cafeteria at all. I’ve been there for so long, and I’ve only seen pigs.” Bai Xinyu pursed his lips angrily, “I’ve been feeding the others for over a month too, damn it.”
Jian Suiying glanced at him, “So why were you smiling? If I didn’t know any better, I’d think that you’re going to a spa.”
Bai Xinyu touched his face and muttered, “Who was smiling… ah, just hurry up, I still have to go back and pack my things at home.”
After lunch, the two of them drove back to Beijing. After Bai Xinyu returned to his home, Jian Suiying also returned to Xiao Zhu’s place.
He didn’t expect Xiao Zhu to come back yet, so he called him and learned that his flight ticket was for tomorrow.
Jian Suiying couldn’t bear to stay alone in the house, so after pondering for a long time, he drove back to the old house. After those three moved out, it got a lot emptier. The helpers who had been working at their house for a long time were all left behind, while the rest left with his father. On the way, he thought about renovating the house and wiping out all the traces of that woman and Jian Suilin.
He parked his car in the courtyard and walked inside, wrapped in his coat. The helper heard the sound of his car and opened the door for him from inside, with a hint of panic on her face. “Young master“What’s the matter?” He pushed the door open and immediately saw Zhao Yan standing inside, commanding two workers to lay out a piece of porcelain.
Zhao Yan turned her head and saw him, her face immediately going pale.
Jian Suiying narrowed his eyes and said coldly, “Didn’t I say that you are no longer allowed to step into this place again?”
Zhao Yan’s lips trembled gently.
Jian Suiying pointed at the gate and said, “Get lost.”
Zhao Yan looked around and saw that there was no husband or son that she could rely on. The only ones present were the young master of the Jian family whom she was deeply afraid of, and a group of servants who had been favored by the former wife of the Jian family and had watched Jian Suiying grow up since his childhood. She gathered all the energy in her chest, got the courage, then gritted her teeth and asked, “Suilin is still in the hospital. He said he was robbed, but I don’t believe it. Did you do it?”
Jian Suiying clenched his fist. If it weren’t a woman standing in front of him, he would’ve already taken action and beat the person he detested so much to death. He spoke in a foul voice, “Yes, it was me. Why, is he still alive?”
Zhao Yan’s body shook uncontrollably, and tears formed in her eyes. She glared at him fiercely, opened her mouth, but finally didn’t dare to say another word.
Jian Suiying roared, “Get the f*ck out! You and that bastard are no longer allowed to step in here again! I will burn your things for you, so you can try to die early and you will receive them soon enough.”
Zhao Yan lowered her head and quickly rushed out of the door.
After she left, Jian Suiying sat on the sofa and couldn’t get up for a long time.
Even just hearing the words “Jian Suilin” made him crazy. If he hadn’t remembered that Jian Suilin was still at least a descendant of the Jian family, he would’ve never stopped Li Yu that time. He wished that the so-called younger brother of his who had humiliated and even r*ped him could disappear from this world.
Jian Suiying stood up and looked at the other people inside the room, saying, “Call an interior design company. I’ll demolish all their rooms. In the future, when either Zhao Yan or Jian Suilin come back here, they will not be allowed to enter.”
Jian Suiying slept at home that day, and this house had never made him feel so at ease for a long time.
The next afternoon, he personally went to the airport to pick up Xiao Zhu.
In his impression, Xiao Zhu has always been a timid person. Usually, whenever the two of them go out together, he is also very wary of others’ eyes and will not behave intimately with him. But this time, when Xiao Zhu came out from the exit, upon seeing him he quickly walked over and threw himself into his arms.
Jian Suiying looked down at him in surprise, then smiled and patted his head.
Xiao Zhu stuttered and said, “I missed you too much.” He really regretted not following up on that phone call with Jian Suiying that day. If he had said it then, it could have felt different.
Unfortunately, Jian Suiying had already forgotten what Xiao Zhu said since he was feeling frustrated and confused at the time, but he was still very happy with Xiao Zhu’s enthusiasm and took the initiative to help him carry his luggage.
The two of them first went to the supermarket to buy ingredients, then they went back to Xiao Zhu’s place together. Xiao Zhu brought many specialties from his hometown and cooked several local specialties that night, including delicious wine and meat. Jian Suiying finally felt that he had recovered a bit of his pride.
After dinner, Xiao Zhu took the initiative, to which Jian Suiying hugged him and pressed him onto the sofa to kiss in response. There was no problem with the person or atmosphere, but Jian Suiying still felt unable to concentrate. Kissing, skin touching, s*x, these things…
Jian Suiying only felt a flash of light, and the images of being oppressed and violated by Jian Suilin kept invading his mind. He stood up and shook his head, feeling waves of darkness before his eyes.
Xiao Zhu whispered, “What’s the matter?”
Jian Suiying let out a sigh and got up, leaning his head against the backrest of the sofa, breathing slowly.
Xiao Zhu looked at him anxiously and said, “What’s wrong?”
Jian Suiying replied hoarsely, “I’m okay.”
The ringing of the phone startled both of them.
Xiao Zhu was stunned for half a second but soon jumped up to fetch Jian Suiying’s phone. Jian Suiying took it over and saw “Li Xuan” displayed on the screen. His veins were bulging on his forehead, and his intuition was that this news won’t be very good.
He didn’t really want to answer at first, but looking at Xiao Zhu’s confused face, he realized that the current situation was a bit awkward. This call came in time and happened to be able to overcome this awkwardness. He stood up, picked up the phone, and walked into a different room, pressing the accept button.
“Hello?”
“Jian Suiying, this is Li Xuan.”
“I know,” Jian Suiying said calmly as he closed the door and leaned against the it. “Happy new year.”
Li Xuan didn’t appreciate his insincere politeness, but went straight to the point, “I want to talk to you about my brother.”
“Unfortunately, the last thing I want to talk about in my life is about your brother.”
Jian Suiying could tell that Li Xuan must have figured something out. If he won’t speak ill of him, Jian Suiying didn’t plan to get angry with him either. He thought it would be better to hang up the phone like this, so if he accidentally bumped into him in the future, he could still be a nodding acquaintance.
Unfortunately, Li Xuan is not that easy to deal with. Before Jian Suiying could hang up, he went straight to the point. “Have you ever been friendly with Li Yu?”
Jian Suiying took back his finger that was about to press the disconnect button, planning to listen to what Li Xuan wanted to say.
His silence confirmed Li Xuan’s suspicions, and Li Xuan shouted, “It’s really you then!”
Jian Suiying calmly said, “What do you want to say? Just get to the point.”
Li Xuan let out a sigh and slowly sat down in the chair, “Let’s talk about it next time we meet.”
“I don’t have time, let’s solve this over the phone.”
Li Xuan couldn’t contain his anger any longer and sneered, “You don’t need to worry about your company now, so you should be the most available at the moment, but you don’t even have time for a cup of tea?”
Jian Suiying sneered as well, “Of course I have time to drink tea, I just don’t have time to give to people with the surname Li.”
Li Xuan suppressed his anger and said, “Jian Suiying, I’ve heard you’re into men a long time ago, but I don’t have any prejudice for other peoples’ private lives. But think for yourself, you’re the same age as me, but you’re around seven years older than Li Yu! My younger brother is still young and uncertain, I didn’t expect you to take advantage of a child!”
Jian Suiying couldn’t help but laugh.
Child? He used to think that Li Yu was just a young man, and he used to treat him as a simple teacher. However, because of this he lost in love and lost his business, all because he’d been dedicating himself to a young adult.
Li Xuan said angrily, “What are you laughing at? Is it funny? My brother said in front of the whole family that he likes men! My father was so angry that he didn’t eat all day! I thought you were an arrogant no matter how you acted properly. Jian Suiying, you are really a f*cking bastard!”
Jian Suiying was stunned for a while and asked, “You said he…”
“Right, are you very proud of yourself? My brother has always been sensible since he was young and never did anything out of line. If you didn’t seduce him, how could he even say that he likes men? How can you, a gay man, provoke my brother without integrity? You change lovers every day, and if you get tired of them, you don’t want them anymore. What does you even think of my brother?” Li Xuan has been alive for nearly 30 years and has always practiced self-restraint like he was wearing clothes, so under no circumstances will he “go naked” for anyone. Even if he suspected that Jian Suiying was manipulating him behind his back that time, he calmly resolved the pressure from all sides. However, after that Jian Suiying, a playboy, not only introduced his younger brother into homosexuality but also abandoned him, he was so angry that he wanted to kill someone for the first time.
Jian Suiying once again burst out laughing, “Impossible, hahaha! Impossible, Li Yu told you that he likes men? Impossible, that Li Yu?” That same Li Yu with eyes that can't bear to have any grit in them? That Li Yu who won’t let himself get into something fishy?
Li Xuan shouted, “Shut up!”
Jian Suiying endured the pain that now constantly welled up in his heart and said hoarsely, “So that’s what he told you? He said that I provoked him, but then I didn’t want him anymore?”
“He didn’t say anything, but did you know that when he said he liked men, I thought of you first?” Li Xuan couldn’t explain why he had such a strong intuition, it wasn’t just because he knew that Jian Suiying was gay, but there were also many clues that made him think they were strange before, but he never thought about it that time. He really regrets it now. If he discovered it earlier, perhaps he could have dragged his brother out of this mess.
Jian Suiying chuckled softly and said, “Then you’d better communicate carefully with your brother first before talking to others. There’s only one thing you can be sure of, we had a clean break. From now on, from his marriage till his funeral, Li Yu will have nothing to do with me, Jian Suiying.”
Jian Suiying hung up and slowly sat against the wall.
The room was dark and there were no lights on, and it was as quiet as if one could only hear their own breathing and heartbeat. Jian Suiying held the phone, and the heat from the long conversation burned his palm.
What does Li Yu want to do?
When they were still stuck together like glue, Li Yu avoided exposing their relationship as much as possible. Now that they had already parted ways, he spoke such words in front of his family.
What was the performance for?
Li Xuan was such an idiot, he must’ve felt that his younger brother was pure like a big white rabbit. He couldn’t even tell that he was protecting an ungrateful wolf from the start.
He doesn’t have the right to say that about other people though, for his idiocy got him to fall into Li Yu’s hands.
Jian Suiying felt a headache coming, which made him extremely irritable. If he had any poison to drink right now that would make him forget about Li Yu, he would dry up the entire bottle.
He didn’t know how long he was sitting there, but soon there was a gentle knock on the door behind him. Although the movements were light, Jian Suiying, who was immersed in his own world, was still startled.
“What’s up?”
Xiao Zhu hesitated, “Jian Shao? Are you still taking phone calls?”
“Ah, it’s finished already.”
Jian Suiying roughly wiped his face and stood up to open the door.
Xiao Zhu whispered, “Jian Shao, I cooked food. Just eat some and go to bed.”
Jian Suiying patted him on the back and said, “Okay, let’s go. Don’t call me Jian Shao in the future, it’s too unfair”
Xiao Zhu smiled shyly, “So what do I call you then? Jian-ge?”
“Don’t.” He felt pained hearing those two words, “Don’t call me Jian-ge… Just call me Suiying.”
Xiao Zhu was stunned, “Is that… okay?”
“What’s wrong with it?” Jian Suiying took a rice dumpling and put it in his mouth. “Go ahead.”
Xiao Zhu’s face had a beautiful smile as he spoke, “Sui… Ying.”
Jian Suiying raised his eyes and looked at his gentle and harmless appearance, and his heart gradually calmed down. Perhaps he was wrong from the beginning, he shouldn’t have thought about no longer pursuing love anymore. A gentle and considerate lover is what people like him need.
—
After the New Year, Beijing resumed its busy and overcrowded atmosphere, and Xiao Zhu also started going back to work.
When Jian Suiying was free to take him to the school he taught in, he discovered that there were quite a few girls and boys who were very attractive in the school. People around the age of seventeen used to be his favorite type of “dessert”, but now he can’t get interested at all. Looking at these vibrant faces, he finally felt the age difference for the first time.
Before getting off the car, Jian Suiying smiled and said, “You must be quite popular in this school.”
Xiao Zhu just smiled awkwardly and didn’t say anything. He had just opened the door and stepped out of the car when a girl rushed over to him and excitedly called out, “Min Min-ge.”
Xiao Zhu was startled and slammed the car door shut.
The little girl’s face, which was slightly red with cold, was like a blooming plum in winter.
Xiao Zhu said in embarrassment, “Call me laoshi at school.”
Jian Suiying lowered the car window and raised his eyebrows to look at the two of them.
The girl seemed like she wasn’t afraid of life at all. She looked down at Jian Suiying and exclaimed, “Min Min-ge’s friend is so handsome, he looks like a star!”
Xiao Zhu emphasized, “Call me laoshi.”
The girl pursed her lips, “Laoshi…” After being honest for a few seconds, she immediately said enthusiastically, “Min Min laoshi, Aunt Yun entrusted me to bring you the things you left behind. I forgot to bring them today, but are you coming to school tomorrow? I’ll give them to you tomorrow, or should I take them to your house?”
Xiao Zhu, whether intentionally or unintentionally, blocked the car window with his body and whispered, “I’ll come tomorrow, just bring it to school.”
“Okay…” the girl was a bit disappointed. “Let’s go, let’s go in together.”
Xiao Zhu awkwardly said, “You go ahead, I’ll just have a word with my friend.”
After the girl left, Xiao Zhu thought for a moment and then turned back around and sat in the car.
Jian Suiying chuckled, “What does she call you? Min Min?”
“Uhm… ” Xiao Zhu lowered his eyelids, “My family calls me that. This girl doesn’t learn…”
When Jian Suiying remembered giving Xiao Zhu his household registration, he saw his name, which was “Zhu Yingmin”. This was really a bland name that doesn’t match his delicate appearance, so Jian Suiying didn’t put any effort into memorizing it. He casually said, “Oh, so she’s from your hometown.”
“Yes, the child of a distant relative came to Beijing for school this year, and my family asked me to take care of her.”
Jian Suiying had a weird guess in his heart, but he didn’t say it out loud. He patted Xiao Zhu’s head and said, “You look like a teacher. Go in, don’t be late.”
Xiao Zhu gently grabbed his hand and unconsciously rubbed his knuckles “Jian… Sui, Sui Ying…”
Jian Suiying held his hand, a strange feeling in his heart. “Let’s talk tonight, you go to class first.” When he saw Xiao Zhu disappear inside the building, he turned the car around and drove home.
Looking back carefully, when he first wanted to leave Xiao Zhu, he was unwilling.
He never considered whether Xiao Zhu was gay or not, but he could feel that Xiao Zhu has feelings for him, regardless if it was like or just being grateful.
He asked Xiao Zhu to call him by his name because he remembered Xiao Zhu’s gentle companionship during these days. He no longer regarded Xiao Zhu as a mere escort, but Xiao Zhu was a very thoughtful companion to him. He is quite satisfied with his current life and doesn’t want any further changes, but he forgot to consider that Xiao Zhu is more likely to be a normal man who wants to marry and have children.
Jian Suiying sighed and thought that if Xiao Zhu got married in the future, he would definitely give him a big red envelope.
Jian Suiying was driving around the city of Beijing alone, and he currently had nowhere to go or anything to do. He knew he should follow the city’s movements and quickly wake up after the Spring Festival holiday to do productive things rather than waste his time like this.
He never felt lazy in his life, but now he’s even too lazy to go downstairs and buy stuff.
What should he do next? Continue and open a new company? Just earn money? Have enough money to spend, then continue earning, and then what?
Jian Suiying thought that if his former self half a year ago saw his current self, two might fight against each other. At that time, he was highly motivated and ambitious, never knowing to stop or be satisfied. Now he was exhausted both physically and mentally, he felt stranded in his place, unsure where to go next.
How did he become such a person? How could he become the kind of coward that he most despises, someone who can’t recover after losing a lover, and has no energy to do anything?
Jian Suiying, are you ashamed to throw your life away like this? Can you continue on like this?
The car seemed to have a brain on its own, and without Jian Suiying’s awareness, he had already driven back to Xiao Zhu’s residence.
He thought that he shouldn’t live here anymore. This was a truly gentle and calming place, but he can’t hide in there for his whole life. He also had to go out so that those who were eager to see him become a joke wouldn’t be disappointed if they hadn’t had the opportunity to confront him in person after so long.
He should also start preparing to go against Jian Suilin head-on. He needs to change back into the former Jian Suiying, who lived happily and freely before meeting Li Yu.
He snubbed the cigarette from his mouth and strode into the elevator. Today, he should start seriously thinking about what to do tomorrow.
Oh! I hope he can find something productive to do and start healing 😢
He is so strong 😭😭😭
Really if i were him
I would stayed liked dead in hospital
After all that shit happened
Thanks I Really Love this novel it makes me feel so helpless… before what happens to Jian Suiyin… and now that Li Yu realized his feelings it seems that it’s too late after everything he did to his Jian Ge… go to being praised to now being despised… it’s a pity
he’s so strong, if i were him, I’d probably just kms
Jian Suiying jiaoyou!
JSY I’m sick of seeing u suffer, live for urself from now on please 😭