Bonus Ko-fi Update
Jian Suiying only wore a single coat, but even if it was over 10° below zero outside, he couldn’t feel the cold and walked on with his head feeling heavy. He didn’t know where Jian Suilin parked his car, and he didn’t bother trying to find it. His only thought, for now, was to leave the place that made him want to vomit as soon as possible.
Li Yu soon caught up with him, took off his coat, and draped it over him, and tried to hug him as the situation progressed.
Jian Suiying, repulsed, pushed him away and continued walking towards the main road.
On the morning of New Year’s Day, the streets were deserted, so there were only a few cars on the road, not to mention the taxis that will pass by even less. Ever since he left the house, he has not even seen a single one.
Li Yu still wrapped his coat around him and hugged him tightly, “Don’t move, Jian-ge… don’t move.”
Jian Suiying hit him hard on the waist with his elbow. Li Yu was already suffering injuries, so his face paled from the pain. However, he still refused to let go. With his coat and body wrapped around Jian Suiying’s he choked, “Jian-ge, I beg you, don’t move, come back with me… come back with me, I’m begging you…'”
Li Yu only felt that he was already vulnerable, and this day’s events had pushed him completely into the abyss of regret and jealousy. If Jian Suiying hadn’t stopped him earlier, he knew he would have really killed Jian Suilin. He looked at Jian Suiying’s indifferent and lifeless appearance, and his heart ached badly. The proud, daring, and arrogant Jian Suiying had been knocked to the ground, which gave others the opportunity to take advantage of him and recklessly trample on him. It was he who was responsible for all this.
The guiltiest person was Li Yu.
Jian Suiying couldn’t exert any more strength on his body, and he could only say, “Let go…”
“Impossible, I will never let go again… Jian-ge, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I…” In the face of tremendous grief and regret, Li Yu could no longer pretend to act calm. His tears flowed freely into Jian Suiying’s collar, and Jian Suiying felt the hot sensation on the back of his neck. Li Yu’s low sobs vibrated in his ear.
On the early morning of the New Year, fog had surrounded the streets, and the naked eye could only see a few meters of their surroundings. Looking ahead, there were no other pedestrians on the road. The fog had completely hidden the landmarks, and it was like the entire world had disappeared, leaving only the two of them, one rigidly standing in place, the other clinging tight and with unspeakable pain. But their hearts were separated by thousands of rivers and mountains.
You’re sorry?
Jian Suiying wanted to laugh. In this world, there were indeed too many people who owe him, but the last thing he needed was an apology. What’s the use of an apology? He is still him, no matter how many times he has fallen, how many detours he has taken, how many hardships he has endured, and an apology can hardly cover even the slightest bit of it. To trample on him then say ‘I’m sorry’ to him was like scolding him, making it even harder for him to accept the apology.
Jian Suiying grabbed his hand and forcefully pushed it away. “I don’t give a f*ck, just go as far away as you can.”
Li Yu choked with tears, “At least put on more clothes…”
Jian Suiying turned around and kicked him, glared at his bloodshot eyes and yelled, “You pretend to be affectionate now! I’m tired of this motherf*cking sh*t! Go away now! Li Yu, I’m f*cking sick of you. Don’t let me catch sight of you again!”
The sadness on Li Yu’s face slowly froze, and he stared at Jian Suiying, who looked like he was covered in thorns. He was unable to speak, it was as if a hand were choking his throat.
“You’re all sick that it’s disgusting! None of you is worth anything. I, Jian Suiying, met you only because of bad luck… So go! Go away!” Jian Suiying grabbed the coat on his shoulder and threw it on Li Yu’s face. “Go!”
He turned and quickly walked towards the main road. He wanted to find a place to sleep well, and a place where he could just be alone. It was difficult to predict the outcome of all this. Who knew that the person who once lived with you and had sweet moments with you would stab you in the back. Who knew that the respectful and obedient person in front of you had sinister thoughts about you.
It’s disgusting. These two were so disgusting that he never wanted to see them for the rest of his life.
He’s had enough; he’s had motherf*cking enough.
Jian Suiying rushed all the way to the main road and finally saw a taxi drive by. He stopped the car, went inside, and sat down without hesitation, slamming the door on Li Yu, who had still been following him.
He quickly returned to Xiao Zhu’s residence. At this moment, he wished he could open the door and see the beautiful little boy smiling at him and letting him in, asking him what he would like to eat for the evening. Unfortunately, he was now met with the chilly emptiness of a room.
He kicked off his shoes, climbed onto the bed, wrapped himself tightly with the blanket, closed his eyes, and began to sleep.
He slept until the afternoon and was woken up by his grandfather’s phone call. He asked what time he would come over.
He then remembered that he promised his grandfather that he’d visit Qinhuangdao on the first day of the New Year. He had already lost his voice earlier and his voice was still husky from sleep, so he said that he got ill and was temporarily unable to go, which sounded particularly persuasive.
His grandfather quickly asked him if he had anyone to take care of him. It wasn’t convenient to see doctors during the holiday, so he was a bit worried.
Jian Suiying comforted him by saying that he would be well enough after two days.
Lao Jian said he would go to Beijing to see him. In the past, Lao Jian used to treat him like he was definitely being kept in captivity. Whenever he visited, even if he rolled all over the soil and got covered with mud or came back with a wound, he didn’t care much. In his opinion, boys have to wander around and explore, so there’s no need to keep asking questions. But he didn’t know what was wrong this time. Maybe it’s because Lao Jian is already getting old, or maybe because he’s been feeling frustrated too much recently, that Lao Jian got so worried that he even wanted to come and accompany Jian Suiying when he found out his grandson got sick.
Jian Suiying’s heart was slightly moved, but he truly didn’t want to see anyone at the moment.
Lao Jian couldn’t help but be saddened that he couldn’t go there, but his driver, Lao Wu, was returning to Beijing that afternoon to visit his relatives and would drop in and bring him something to eat. These were all things that are no longer as delicious after some time has passed. After all, they were originally made for him as he planned to come today, and it was planned to let him eat them while they were still hot.
Lao Jian was too stubborn and couldn’t be persuaded by anyone. Jian Suiying couldn’t help but agree and told the old man Xiao Zhu’s address.
After waking up to this phone call, he couldn’t sleep anymore. In fact, he also knows that he doesn’t really lack sleep, but he has nothing to do at the moment. Only by sleeping can he temporarily forget what happened during these days.
He knew that this was not a good time, but he couldn’t help but reflect a little bit on which wrong steps he had taken that caused him to reach this moment. Perhaps from the moment he met Li Yu, everything had already been decided by fate. Someone was waiting for him to jump into a pit, while someone else was squatting on the side preparing to throw stones into the said pit.
The more he thought about it, the more painful his headache became, and his eyes got a bit unfocused as if the air around him had melted away and made him feel suffocated. He suddenly realized that he was really ill.
At this moment, the phone rang, and Jian Suiying pressed the accept. A burst of fireworks exploded across the street. Then Xiao Zhu cheerfully shouted, “Jian Shao, Jian Shao, happy new year.”
Jian Suiying opened his mouth, and his nose scrunched. The rich and happy atmosphere of the occasion did not reach this dark, narrow bedroom at all, and it was as if he had been isolated from the entire world. He was hiding alone in a corner and avoiding everything he was unwilling to face.
Jian Suiying, why are you getting weaker the longer you live?
Betrayed by a lover, scammed by family, then being r*ped by his younger brother, what’s all the mess in his life? Jian Suiying, you’re still here, but you lost all the people in your life. Are you still even a motherf*cking man?
Xiao Zhu shouted over the call, “Jian Shao? Did you hear me, Jian Shao? Shall I move to a quieter place?”
Jian Suiying raised his neck and forcefully opened his eyes to prevent the tears from flowing out.
“Jian Shao, can you hear me?”
Jian Suiying bit his lower lip hard, then cleared his throat and said calmly, “Happy New Year.”
Xiao Zhu happily said, “My side is too noisy. Have you arrived at Qinhuangdao yet? I haven’t been to Qinhuangdao yet, but my house is very lively. Have a good New Year.”
“When will you come back?”
“Didn’t you book me a ticket for the seventh day?”
“Try going back earlier.”
“Huh?”
“Come back early, I miss you.”
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
Xiao Zhu was silent for a moment, and when he spoke again, his voice trembled a bit. “Okay… okay, I’ll go back early.”
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The doorbell rang several more times until it suddenly grew quiet. But then he heard the sound of the door being twisted open.
Jian Suiying tried to recall whether or not he locked the door after entering, but he couldn’t remember. All he knew was that Lao Wu had come in and was walking towards the bedroom.
He lifted the blanket and covered his head, saying in a muffled voice, “Uncle Wu, just put the stuff in the kitchen.”
The other didn’t mean to leave, instead, they put the things on the bedside table and loudly and forcefully called out, “Ge.”
Jian Suiying immediately lifted the blanket. He was now too sensitive to being called “ge” by others. If Jian Suilin really dared to appear in front of him at this time, he didn’t know if he could restrain himself from killing a relative with his own two hands.
However, when he saw the visitor, he froze.
In front of him stood a robust young man with a very short haircut, his ears flushed from the cold, and a vibrant smile on his face. The whole person looked energetic and exuded masculinity.
At that moment, Jian Suiying really didn’t recognize who the person in front of him was.
“Ge.” Bai Xinyu touched the short stubble of hair on his head and chuckled, “Isn’t this really silly? It’s not even warm yet. But the army has this rule, and as soon as I went in, I almost got all of it shaved off.”
Jian Suiying slowly stood up and looked at him in surprise.
The Bai Xinyu in front of him was truly reborn. His entire body was a bit bigger and looked stronger than before, his posture straightened out, and he had completely lost his former casual appearance. Between his eyebrows, there was a natural, spirited aura.
Bai Xinyu used to be quite good-looking, but he didn’t usually keep proper shape, and he only knew how to indulge in extravagance and alcohol. After observing him, one can see that he is now a master who wasn’t useless. Now, except for being a bit more tan, his facial features haven’t changed, and he still laughs heartlessly, but his temperament has become completely different.
If Bai Xinyu used to be without ambition, he was now a handsome young poplar that could carry himself well. Jian Suiying didn’t even imagine that his cousin could evolve into someone like this one day!
Bai Xinyu smiled awkwardly as he watched his ge’s stunned silence for a long time. “Ge, you look like you can’t even recognize me. My mother almost didn’t recognize me either, and she hugged me and cried at the airport. I thought she missed me, but she said she was so happy…” Jian Suiying still didn’t speak, so Bai Xinyu pulled a chair over, a bit dejectedly, and sat in front of the bed, cautiously saying, “Ge, are you still angry with me? Then you can hit me until you are satisfied. This time, you don’t have to hold back. I can resist it now.”
Jian Suiying held himself back for a long time and finally uttered, “How did you get here?”
“Ah, today, mother called your grandfather to greet him new year’s blessings. He mentioned that you had a cold, so my mother asked for the address saying she wanted to see you, but I said I would come in her stead. I bumped into the driver of your grandfather downstairs, but he didn’t recognize me. I remember him getting tired of me when I was young, hehe.”
Bai Xinyu’s sudden appearance and his thorough changes surprised Jian Suiying so much that he didn’t know how to react for a long time, so he ended up lying back in bed.
Bai Xinyu touched Jian Suiying’s forehead and said, “Oh, you’re really hot. I brought some medicine, so take some first.” He took out the medicine and poured a glass of water for Jian Suiying. “Come on, ge, take the medicine.”
Jian Suiying opened his mouth and swallowed the tablet. Bai Xinyu let him take a few sips of water. He paused and asked hoarsely, “When did you come back?'”
“Actually, I came back two days ago, you don’t know how hard it took me to take this leave… and I– I actually wanted to find you as soon as I came back, but my mom said you haven’t been… doing well lately, and I was afraid that you’ll get even angrier when you see me… I’m not afraid you’ll hit me, really, but I just don’t want to upset you even further.”
Jian Suiying pursed his lips. “I’m too tired to beat you up.”
“It’s okay, when you get better, you can beat me up anytime you want. Who lets me call you ge, or scolds me when I do something wrong. Ge…” Bai Xinyu nervously continued, “Ge, don’t be angry with me anymore. I was wrong, I was really wrong. I really changed now.”
Bai Xinyu has been acting coquettish like this since childhood, and it often made adults happy. They buy this and that for him, and he changes his tricks to get pampered. Not to mention that adults eat this trick up a lot. Whenever he acted coquettishly and cheaply, Jian Suiying often couldn’t bear it. When he thought about what he did before, he was still angry, but now, he’s a bit lazy to think about it.
He glared at Bai Xinyu and said, “No matter how much you admit your mistake, I won’t release you from the army.”
Bai Xinyu hastily said, “I didn’t mean that. Although at first, I really wanted to go home… and when I first got there, I felt like I was living in prison every day, and I also felt quite resentful of you. But now I know, Ge, you’re really a good influence for me. Now thinking about myself, I couldn’t even call myself a man, but now I feel just like one. I know I’m not good in business, but I think I’m good at staying in the army.” He habitually touched his short hair, “My parents are very happy, too.'”
Jian Suiying looked at him sceptically and said, “Go find me a cigarette.”
“Okay.” Bai Xinyu habitually obeyed the command, got up and looked for a cigarette. He circled around the bed until he reacted. “Ge, no way, you still have a cold. You’ve taken medicine and it’s already time to eat. You should eat first and then take more medicine. Oh, I forgot about that bit. Then, you should eat now.”
“No, give me a cigarette.”
Bai Xinyu helplessly dug out a cigarette from the bedside table and lit it for him.
Jian Suiying smoked, and his heart calmed down a lot. It was still a good feeling to have a companion for the new year.
“Go get some alcohol, let’s have a couple of drinks, and tell me what you’ve been doing the past year.”
Bai Xinyu hesitated, “Ge, I know you’re upset, but you’re still sick. Let’s not drink for now. Let me heat up your meal for you.”
“Who do you think I am, Lin Daiyu? Go and look in the refrigerator. I don’t know where Xiao Zhu put the liquor.”
“Who is Xiao Zhu?”
“My current lover… now go find them.”
Bai Xinyu reluctantly stood up and looked around the house. Soon, the beer, red wine and Baijiu were all found. He put the food he received from Lao Wu in the microwave, put the food and drinks on the table, then went into the bedroom to call his brother to eat.
Jian Suiying already got out of bed and changed into home clothes. The loose neckline and trousers made Jian Suiying’s figure look thinner to a certain extent. In addition, his pale and haggard appearance made him look like somewhat of a sick yet beautiful man.
Bai Xinyu touched his chin and said, “Ge, you’re not as strong as before. How long have you been out of shape?”
Jian Suiying sat down, took a sip of alcohol first, and sighed, “There’s no time.”
Bai Xinyu giggled and lifted his sweater, pointing to his abs. “Ge, look, I’m in good shape now.”
Jian Suiying didn’t even bother to raise his head. Only when he felt a bit hungry and had a bit of a stomachache, did he put down his drink and start eating.
Bai Xinyu consciously sat down uninterestedly. He wasn’t used to seeing Jian Suiying’s downcast appearance, so he told him stories and jokes from the army without hesitation, and it went on and on.
Jian Suiying got so annoyed that he had to take the initiative and say, “Tell me, how did you do when you first went, and how did you do afterwards?”
“Oh, I don’t wanna mention when I first got there. The dormitory is a big bunk, with dozens of people crowded into one room. Damn it, the smell of feet kept me awake for several nights. Then those people looked down on me and accused me of dragging them down and bullying me all day long. Ge, I haven’t felt that angry in so long, and my mother would be heartbroken if she knew about it.”
Jian Suiying snorted, “It’s strange that you could even drag someone down and still won’t get cleaned up. Sending you to the army was to train you.”
Bai Xinyu pursed his lips, “That’s too cruel. They beat me up in places you can’t see through when clothed, it’s immoral.”
Jian Suiying frowned and raised his eyebrows, “Are they still beating you up?”
“Yeah, they let me do all the hard and dirty work. Damn it, I just went there and cried every day. Nobody cared about me.”
Jian Suiying slapped his chopsticks on the table and scolded him. “You’re motherf*cking silly. If you won’t fight back when someone hits you, you won’t climb the ladder higher that way. Do you know that the more cowardly you are, the more they will bully you? You need to toughen up. When that happens, who would dare to lay a finger on you?”
Bai Xinyu replied aggrievedly, “You speak so well like it’s easy. In a room full of people that are crowding over me, how can I resist?”
Jian Suiying said angrily, “Sh*t, but isn’t Lao Yu’s grandson with you? I entrusted his uncle to tell him to take care of you. You should go to him if you’re being bullied.”
Bai Xinyu’s expression suddenly turned particularly strange, and he muttered, “Don’t even mention it; he’s the one who’s done the worst to me.”
Jian Suiying chuckled, “You useless thing, where’s my phone? I’ll call his uncle.”
“Oh, no, ge, no need.” Bai Xinyu crossed the table and held his shoulder, laughing, “Ge, no, do you think I’m not standing like this in front of you now? I also know I’ve been bullied and can’t handle it, so I worked hard later. In fact, they teased me because I wasn’t motivated and often dragged the group down to be punished with me. Later, my performance improved. I’m doing well in the army now, you don’t have to worry.”
Jian Suiying glanced at him, “Really? Did you solve it yourself?”
“En, really. If I’m going to be stubborn, I won’t go back even if you whip me. But I’m fine, and I’ll be back in the army after the New Year.”
Jian Suiying was a bit impressed with Bai Xinyu. With how useless his younger cousin used to be, and the family didn’t know what he did, now he has his own purpose. Jian Suiying can’t help but feel gratified.
Bai Xinyu picked up a big chicken leg for his ge, then put down his chopsticks and solemnly said, “Ge, I was ignorant before, and it made you worry a lot. Now, I also want to do something for you, Ge. With just your word, let me clean up those two bastards, Jian Suilin and Li Yu, and ensure that they can’t get up from their beds till next month.”
Jian Suiying thought about Jian Suilin and Li Yu. The former had already been unable to leave his bed for at least a month or so, while with the latter, he felt that Bai Xinyu would find him dead. He shook his head, “Don’t worry. You’ll return to the army in a few days, so don’t make trouble. I have a way to deal with them. You don’t have to worry.'”
“I can still stay for a few more days. Don’t worry, I can block them in the alley and beat them up. Who’d know that it was me…”
Jian Suiying knocked on the edge of the bowl with his chopsticks and said, “Just eat your food.”
Bai Xinyu pursed his lips, unconvinced, swallowed a few mouthfuls of food, and raised his head excitedly, “Ge, let’s go out and play tonight.”
“Where are you even going to play during the holidays?”
“I heard from a friend that there’s a gay bar. They’re open today, and many who didn’t go home will be there. Let’s go together.”.
Jian Suiying was not interested at all and said, “Since when did you care about these? Don’t you like big breasts?”
“I won’t give them any attention. Let’s go, I’ll go and gain experience from it.”
Jian Suiying hadn’t seen Bai Xinyu’s mouth go off like this before, so he let him keep grinding in his ear for a while, insisting on letting him go out and “relax”. Finally, Jian Suiying didn’t agree to go to those noisy places. He said, “If you want to go out so much, let’s just take a walk around the neighborhood. I’ll just go buy some cigarettes.”
Bai Xinyu was really afraid that he would be choked, but upon hearing that he was willing to go out for a walk, he immediately put on his clothes cheerfully.
The two men drank so they were already warm when they put on their coats and went downstairs. They took a walk and chatted casually.
Li Yu’s car was parked outside the neighborhood.
He remembered the license plate number of the taxi that Jian Suiying had taken, managed to find the driver, gave him some money, and asked where Jian Suiying had gotten off. On New Year’s Day, there were only a few rides, so the driver quickly remembered, but couldn’t remember which building to park in. So Li Yu waited outside the neighborhood for a day.
He also knew that the chances of seeing him so soon were very small, but only by staying here did he feel closer to Jian Suiying and not feel uncomfortable. He wanted to see Jian Suiying and spend a warm New Year with him, but the thought of that person’s disgust made his fingertips tremble.
His mind was full of Jian Suiying, and he didn’t know what to do next to save this relationship. He only knows that he can never let the man go. Who has ever gotten someone like Jian Suiying, and can still bring themselves to let go?
The heating in the car made his eyes uncomfortable. He squinted slightly and leaned back in his chair, staring blankly ahead, as if he could experience a miracle as long as he kept waiting and watching.
In his life, Li Yu never felt obsessed with anything. Many things were already readily available to him, and while they do not belong to him, they weren’t rare. Only Jian Suiying, the only man who had entered his life with reckless abandon, turned it upside down, made him go step by step into wrongdoing, filled him with guilt, regret, strong jealousy, and a desire for possession, never giving someone up to others. In his lifetime, he could never like anyone else like he does for Jian Suiying. No one can give him such intense, crazy, and unforgettable feelings. There is only one Jian Suiying in the world, and his feelings for him were unique.
Li Yu was already ready to wait for atleast a few days at the entrance of this community, but he didn’t expect to see Jian Suiying so soon.
However, at the next second, to his astonishment, Jian Suiying was followed by a young man.
Li Yu watched the two men walk past his car, clutching the steering wheel tightly with one hand, his teeth clattering. Just as the two were about to pass by his car, he suddenly turned on the car’s lights.
The two were startled by the intense light at a close distance and couldn’t open their eyes for a moment. Both of them covered their eyes with their hands.
Li Yu got out of the car and slammed the door.
The light was too strong, and the two of them could barely see that the person getting off was a man. Bai Xinyu cursed and said, “Dude, we didn’t mean to.”
It wasn’t until Li Yu walked up to them that the two could finally see who the person was.
Jian Suiying’s facial expression changed, and he looked at him coldly.
Li Yu looked deeply at Jian Suiying and with pain in his eyes. His hands shook and he spoke with difficulty, “Jian Suiying, can’t you live without a man with you for a day?”
As soon as the words fell, he received a big slap on the face.
This time, it wasn’t Jian Suiying who did it, but Bai Xinyu.
Bai Xinyu’s sleeves were rolled up, and he glared at him. He had intended to go teach Jian Suilin and Li Yu a lesson and to vent his anger on behalf of his ge, but now they came right at his doorstep. In fact, if he weren’t such a master with big arms, a round waist, and a fiercer spirit, he might not have gotten such great courage to do so, but Li Yu’s handsome and fair face didn’t even pay attention to him at all.
Li Yu was stunned. He hasn’t even started yet, but the fool dared to hit him. He slowly turned his head and wanted to fight back, but as he faced Bai Xinyu, he felt familiar for a moment. He scowled and scrutinized the person’s features before abruptly realizing that this was actually Jian Suiying’s cousin.
For a moment, he’d forgotten his anger, and instead felt relieved that Jian Suiying, who was celebrating the Chinese New Year, didn’t find a new duckling to accompany him. But his face darkened at the thought of Jian Suiying’s other didi.
Bai Xinyu was already in a fighting stance and was waiting for him to fight back. But he watched Li Yu’s expression relax for a while and tighten for a moment. He was stunned and didn’t start, so he could only watch him defensively.
Jian Suiying patted Bai Xinyu on the shoulder. “Go back.”
“Ge…” Bai Xinyu was unwilling to go back like this. He hasn’t done anything yet.
Li Yu stepped forward and blocked Jian Suiying’s way, saying, “Jian-ge, I misunderstood, I’m sorry.”
Jian Suiying sneered, “And I don’t care? Go away, don’t bother me during the spring festival.”
Li Yu knew that the moment he met Jian Suiying, they were bound to speak ill to one another, but his heart still felt a pang of pain. “I came over to greet you a happy new year. I’ve been waiting for you all day, Jian-ge. Please let me spend the New Year with you.”
Jian Suiying turned a deaf ear and walked back.
Li Yu quickly turned off his car and followed them.
Bai Xinyu didn’t know what happened, and he felt that his ge’s relationship with this pretty boy was a bit odd.
Jian Suiying walked quickly and coughed a few times as his cold was yet to fully be cured. Bai Xinyu couldn’t stand it anymore. He turned and pushed Li Yu and said viciously, “My Ge doesn’t want to talk to you, so can you please stop following us? What are you even going to do? You and Xiao Lin-zi pissed off my Ge so much, yet you still have the face to give him your new year’s greetings, who do you think you are?”
Li Yu silently glanced at him, and the look made Bai Xinyu shiver. Li Yu’s was very stubborn, as if he would pounce on someone anytime soon.
Although Bai Xinyu was stronger and more confident in his skills now, when he first joined the army, he was still beaten up for the first two months and had developed the ability to judge who was or who wasn’t easy to provoke. At this time, he was slightly afraid, but he no longer wanted to act cowardly in front of his ge, and he also wantedto impress him. At this moment, he straightened himself and stood in front of Li Yu, saying, “Stop bothering my ge. Get out of here now.”
Li Yu spoke lowly, “I just want to spend the new year with Jian-ge.”
Bai Xinyu frowned, “You’re sick. Ge doesn’t want to spend the new year with you.”
Li Yu tried bypass him, wanting to follow Jian Suiying.
Bai Xinyu grabbed the front of his clothes with one hand and knocked Li Yu to the ground. After the fall, he chuckled proudly. It was the easiest move for him to use.
Li Yu snorted and slowly climbed up from the ground. He saw that Jian Suiying had already entered the residential area’s gates, and his voice couldn’t be heard. Then he jumped up and grabbed Bai Xinyu’s neck. His eyes flashed coldly, and he whispered in his ear, “Bai Xinyu, right? I just want to stay with him for a little while. Don’t try to stop me. No one can motherf*cking will stop me.” Li Yu pushed Bai Xinyu to the ground, and then ran inside.
Bai Xinyu squatted up and coughed, unable to speak. In his heart, he had already cursed 18 generations of Li Yu’s family.
The residential area’s greenery was very well made, with trees stacked one after another like a small maze. Those who are unfamiliar with the route may get lost when they first arrive at the place. Li Yu rushed toward Jian Suiying and stopped him.
At this time, when Jian Suiying looked at him, there was only indifference and impatience. Li Yu wondered whether the man who walked in and out of his life with gentle and eager eyes really existed at all.
Jian Suiying looked back and saw that Bai Xinyu was missing. He coldly asked, “What did you do to him?”
Li Yu pursed his lips, “Nothing much…”
Jian Suiying thought of his unlucky didi and decided to go back and find him.
Li Yu held his arm tightly and said quietly, “Jian-ge, I have done a lot of wrong things. You can retaliate against me in any way you want, but don’t just ignore me.”
Jian Suiying looked at him and suddenly smiled, but it was a smile that seemed particularly cruel to Li Yu.
In his lifetime, Jian Suiying had seen various admiring look in people’s eyes, so he could recognize what was written in Li Yu’s eyes. Li Yu, a person whom he had never seen like this before, knew that at that time, Li Yu really disdained pretending to like him, yet he would still wander around him.
If Li Yu just doesn’t like him, he’s asking for another round of humiliation, but why should this wolf cub enjoy a piece of him, all while digging holes to push him in?
It’s funny that when he could finally see the look of desire in Li Yu’s eyes, directed to him, he no longer wanted it.
Jian Suiying spoke with a cruel smile, “Li Lao-er, what do you think I f*cking owe you besides liking you?”
Li Yu took a deep breath and said, “You don’t owe me anything, but I owe you, Jian-ge. I owe you a lot, so give me a chance to repay you.”
“Since I don’t owe you anything, can you go as far away as possible for me and let me live a peaceful life for once?”
“No, Jian-ge.” Li Yu’s eyes reddened. “I can’t leave you anymore, you can’t not want me anymore.”
“You’re really something else. When you looked down on me, I gave up. How humiliated I was then. Now look at you, you’re really giving me such a long face. So you feel bad now? You like me? But what have you done? Huh, Li Lao-er? What the hell have you done!?” In the last sentence, when Jian Suiying roared out, he felt that blood had rushed up and a strong bloody feeling filled his throat.
Li Yu trembled, “Yes, I like you. As long as you’re happy, you can treat me however you wish. Didn’t you want to top me? Come on, I’ll let you do it to me, but Laozi won’t let you leave! You can’t leave without me, Jian Suiying. You came to my life and provoked me first, you can’t just throw me away.”
Jian Suiying gritted his teeth, “What kind of thing do I, Jian Suiying, want from you? What’s the big deal with you, Li Yu? I’ve had enough fun with you already, I’m now tired of it so I’m going to meet other people!”
Li Yu’s trembling hand took out a necklace from his clothes, on which hung two pairs of rings. Jian Suiying’s face changed as soon as he saw the rings.
Li Yu held the two rings in front of him and growled, “What about this, then? Jian Suiying, was there any truth to what came out of your mouth? We’ve already reached this point! Jian-ge, I beg you, please don’t give up on me, I did something wrong, but give me a chance to change, and I’ll double back on everything you lost. I beg you, just don’t give up on me.”
There was a lot of noise coming from the grass nearby, and the two turned their heads at the same time. Bai Xinyu was watching them with a surprised and embarrassed expression.
Under the dim light, Jian Suiying’s face looked extremely haggard. He waved Li Yu’s hand away and whispered, “Don’t give yourself too much face, I just bought it for fun.”
Li Yu tightly grasped the rings as if he was holding his own heart to prevent it from breaking. He opened his bloodshot eyes, trying to discern any emotion from Jian Suiying’s face.
But Jian Suiying had turned away.
With Bai Xinyu present, neither of them could continue talking.
Bai Xinyu opened his mouth and glared at Li Yu. He walked up to his Ge and said, “Ge, let’s go upstairs.”
Jian Suiying nodded and walked towards the elevator entrance.
Li Yu looked at his noticeably thinner back and felt extremely sad.
Bai Xinyu asked, “What’s your relationship with my ge?”
Li Yu stuffed the rings back into his clothes and didn’t speak.
Bai Xinyu pursed his lips, “Don’t mention it anymore. You really look like my ge’s type, but your personality’s too sh*tty for me.”
Li Yu raised his pale face.
Bai Xinyu glared at him. “My Ge, don’t look at him as arrogant and domineering, for as long as he could take care of everyone in the family, he’s absolutely duty-bound. I used to think he was too strict with me, but now I understand that he was doing it for my own good. Even Xiao Lin-zi and his mother, although Ge hated them both so much and that he always said he would drive them out of the family in the future, but then you see, Ge has already been the head of the family for many years, but the two still lived well. It was only until Xiao Lin-zi, the little beast, turned around and bit my Ge, and his conscience got eaten by the dogs.”
The more Bai Xinyu spoke, the angrier he got, and the more Li Yu listened to him speak, the more his heart ached.
He looked at Bai Xinyu, who was now completely different from before, and remembered that he had once mocked Jian Suiying for being cruel to him. Now, he realized that although Jian Suiying was angry at that time, he was still looking out his didi.
After recalling the situation between him and Jian Suiying from their first meeting up to the present, he always saw Jian Suiying’s overbearing and arrogant side, but he forgot to see how this man cared for his loved ones and how deep his affection was for him.
Li Yu didn’t realize until this very moment, why Jian Suiying used all that tyrannical and arrogant attitude to take care of his relatives, young and old. Perhaps it was because while everyone else depended on him, there was no one for Jian Suiying to rely on.
Thank you to anon for the ko-fi!
TL Note:
For more context on Bai Xinyu’s experiences in the army and with one particular man, you can read Little White Poplar. Though SB was published first, there’s no need to read the novels in a certain order.
The last few paragraphs in this part is one of the reasons why I like how Jian Suiying was written, and it always makes me sad to know that for all the money, power, and connections he had, he had to face all of it on his own. That in the past chapters he always felt alone, and ever since his mom died, he felt like he didn’t have a shoulder to lean on.
Unfortunately, My Little Poplar is not fully translated. There was a very horribly edited MTL once but that has been taken down I guess. GETTING TO KNOW BAI XINYU IS MAKING ME WANT TO READ IT TOO HAHAHA. I hope someone picks that up.
i see! thanks for telling me! i didn’t know that the completed tl i saw before was mtl.
Thank you❤️
My heart really aches for JS. He did t deserves any of this. It was such a huge price to pay for just having a shitty behavior.
i see no hope for them to get back? jian ge is too tired 😭😭😭😭😭 i want to hug him, also I’m surprised at Bai Xinyu character development, he’s the best one so far.
LY didn’t learn anything, how come the first thing he said to JSY is ‘cant you live without a man for a single day?’ i want to crush his face
Ikr how thick is his face? He still doesn’t try to understand jian ge just throwing around like and sorry. Even after such a traumatic assault to jian ge the first thing on his mind is jealousy and disdain he still looks down on him. Idk I don’t see how his character can be redeemable. I thought I would hate Yan Ming xiu more but that dude learnt his lesson quick, he made himself suffer so much that i felt sorry for him. Meanwhile LY is still like this🤬
dw if it makes you feels better, JSY crushed his heart over and over later (he deserved it), i get it he’s still young and inexperienced but bruh 😟
jsy deserves happiness more than anyone😞
it’s indeed really hard to be tough and can’t rely on anyone when you fall. why people keep hurting JSY ToT
Oh man the last line made me cry… he has no one to rely on except his grandpa