Parenting In Full Bloom! The Former Villainous Noble Son Who Found His Love NestChapter 79

Author: aji (あじ)
Translator: sleepingjay

34 vOZhId

With movements as heavy as lead, I turned my head to look back at him.

I stared straight at Jill and inquired, even though I didn’t want to hear the answer.

Chrysanthemum Garden.

“What did you mean, “again”?”

“—That.” YPxrRm

“…… Ha, hahaha. I see, so that’s how it is. You know.”

Jill lost his composure at my question.

I wished I could have misunderstood all of it: the way his eyes widened slightly, the tiny catch of his breath.

“Even then, you really said you liked me, huh? You sure are an exemplary hero. As expected of the benevolent Commander-sama of the Empire!”

My fingers were convulsing. My mouth ran off on its own, as if it belonged to somebody else.

My body, immobile as if frozen from bewilderment, brought attention to a tight, sharp pain in my heart. The blood pulsing throughout my body felt cold all over.

Aah, I really hadn’t wanted this guy to be the one to know about it, at the very least.

Being confronted with having my past known like this for the first time, my heart confused me. And then, inexplicably but with great force, a desire to cry washed over me. ZCiM7Q

“Lilius,”

“—Stay away!”

“……Lilius. I’m sorry for snooping.”

We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.

“Shut up! Don’t come near me! 4H7FSZ

C rafq, atfc jcbatfg rafq; Alii kjr mibrlcu abkjgvr wf.

Qlat fjmt rafq, ws ybvs wbnfv yjmxkjgvr, oifflcu.

Lbk ibcu tjv Alii xcbkc?

Rb. Lf xcfk ogbw atf yfulcclcu, vlvc’a tf? Coafg jii, la kjr P atja jugffv ab atfw lcnfralujalcu ws qjra. 79X5zM

Yo mbegrf atja lcmievfv atlcur P vlvc’a kjca ab yf xcbkc. Yo mbegrf la kbeiv vlu eq atf qjra atja P vlvc’a kjca ab yf rffc.

I had known that, but I had discarded it as a trivial matter, because I hadn’t had any goodwill towards Jill.

Chrysanthemum Garden.

But now, now my heart was hurting so terribly.

“I, am I that pathetic?” NTUV9I

“What do you mean?”

“Am I so pathetic that you think I can’t live except on your compassion? Is that why you were kind to me? Because I’m still your ex-wife’s younger brother, even if you’re divorced?”

When I thought about it that way, I was able to understand everything.

The reason Jill cared so much about me. The reason why he was trying to give me a place to belong. iD8go7

To be honest, Jill shouldn’t have wanted to create any gaps for her to take advantage of. And yet he did, and I had been questioning the whys of it to myself over and over.

“Was it fun? Seeing me be moved by your ‘kindness’?”

The raging tsunami of my heartbeats calmed down. In exchange it became the complete opposite, a calm sea.

The stinging pain, the bewilderment, all of that disappeared. nZ8yDm

It felt as if everything that had happened was separated on the other side by a piece of gauze, as if my brain was full of haze.

The sadness quietened. And then, taking over my head, was the helpless anger.

Nobody was in the wrong, really.

But I was helpless except to succumb to the urge, loathing Jill who stood in front of me. sL2O56

As expected, Jill had been playing me like a fiddle — these violent, almost paranoid emotions seemed to erupt from my guts, breaking through my skin.

Words were blades. If I started screaming like this, according to this urge, I would hurt Jill.

I didn’t want that. However, just as I was desperately trying to suppress my emotions, Jill scooped up my hands.

“Lilius, I hadn’t intended to deceive you. You’re so clumsy with kindness, yet such a good person. I was worried about you. When I said I like you, it was never out of pity. I truly like you from the heart.” nMfGk7

“—gh! You’re lying!”

The warmth of Jill’s body was transmitted from his skin. It was disgusting. When I flung his hand off in a violent motion, his face twisted into something sad.

Story translated by Chrysanthemum Garden.

Worried about me? “I truly like you?”

Nobody would believe those words! After all, we were all strangers, aren’t we? It was all because of the thinking, “who cares if somebody else becomes unhappy”……! ed5F69

The emotions I was suppressing burst out.

“Stop telling me lies! What the heck is ‘important’? Don’t make me laugh!”

Jill opened his mouth to say something when he heard my words. But I shoved aside those words without even allowing them to live.

“I don’t need your excuses…… Hah. You’re calling me ‘important’, did you forget who it was that decided it didn’t matter what happened to my life? ‘Important’. Stop making me laugh. That bracelet you handed to me on that day, did you think I wouldn’t notice what kind of spell was placed on it?!” NEkFgK

That was right, Jill was the one who handed me that magic tool, silent about the conditions of the restrictions placed upon it. He gave it to me, didn’t he, uncaring of what might happen to me.

Yet now he was telling me that I was ‘important’. How was I supposed to accept those words?

“Don’t say bullshit like, ‘I didn’t think it would turn on’ or whatever. With that situation, there was no way it wouldn’t turn on. Everyone suspected me, looked at me with disgust because of something I had no say over — all of you were like that. Every single little thing was my fault.”

My fief, my family, those aristocrats, and the people of this town too. I6ClLE

All of it, all of it, was blamed on me. Everyone made me the bad person. Jill too, the people in Jill’s house too, they all chased me to be responsible for the mess that my sister made.

“Or maybe, are you still in doubt whether I’m connected to my older sister? So you thought to play nice with me, all the while planning to use me?”

“Lilius, please calm down.”

“Shut up. I… Since I was thrown out, I haven’t even talked to those bastards in my family, much less met them!” PMXnfx

“I know. I don’t doubt you, Lilius. I still regret having treated you cruelly.”

Jill’s voice sounded far away, as if it was covered up by white noise.

I recognised each word, but I couldn’t understand their meaning. Nothing. Nothing was left in my head, except an immense pool of hatred, envy, and loathing.

My vision was dyed red. With every kind word out of Jill’s mouth, my hair stood on its ends. I thought I might even hate Jill, who acted like a wolf in sheep’s clothing. iIwOXo

I was envious of Jill, who had what I didn’t have.

Jill was born to high-ranking nobility just like me, but he became the Commander and was the lauded hero of the empire.

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Compared to that, what was I? Losing just about everything, living as a commoner. Thrown away by my family and even my country, and even worse, I was kept as a plaything by men for several years.

I was jealous. U95yuX

Jill had everything I wanted.

Family, rank, companions, honour—Jill had everything that I had lost. It was dazzling, and I was envious.

Translator:
Sorry this chapter might be a bit late! I have no idea what time is anymore ahhaahaha. IRL is getting busy, I wish my course was less practical sometimes so that Christmas break is actually a break.

Btw, the term ‘envy’ is important in this chapter I think, because the author purposely uses “妬ましい” which has a more negative, covetous connotation than “羨ましい” (which she also uses here and I translate as ‘jealous’). I almost missed it and treated them as synonyms ngl. 8AhjoH