Translator: StormFrost
Editor: Misogi
Note: Have swapped the “arc” title with the normal chapter title for easier navigation in the table of contents in the future
Thirteen
When Chen Liguo met the system again, it was three months after he and Zhou Yi got married.
At that time he was squatting by the roadside bargaining with a peddler selling mangosteens.
“Eighteen. Eighteen and I’ll take a few pounds back.” Chen Liguo said.
That peddler said, “Nineteen and I’ll sell it to you! With eighteen I’ll be losing money!”
“What I bought yesterday was eighteen!” Chen Liguo refused. “It was even better than yours by a bit.”
The peddler said, “Handsome, I am running a small business……”
Chen Liguo said, “Handsome, I am a poor person.”
The two stared at each other, both at their wits ends. Finally, the peddler couldn’t stand it anymore and said, “Fine, eighteen is eighteen, take it and go.”
And so with a bright smile Chen Liguo went and picked several pounds of mangosteen.
After buying these, Chen Liguo prepared to go home. As a result, he saw a three or four year old child standing in the middle of the road as the traffic light was about to turn.
Chen Liguo noticed that there were no adults around him and rushed over. He picked him up and carried him across the road.
The child had a very lovely little face but was also expressionless. He neither cried nor showed any fluctuations in his mood even when being held by a stranger.
Chen Liguo crossed the road and put him down. He asked, “Child, where are your parents?”
That little dumpling coldly spat out a sentence. He said, “Chen Liguo, as expected I still don’t like earth.”
Chen Liguo: “……” He felt as though he were hallucinating.
The little dumpling said, “This body isn’t easy to use at all.”
Chen Liguo’s voice trembled. “Dad!”
The little dumpling said, “Ai, son.”
Correct, this deliciously looking fresh and soft little dumpling was the system who came to earth to travel around. Before the trip the body creation department had asked him if he had any requirements.
The system had said, “I want the purest and least likely to see mosaics type of body.”
As soon as that department heard this they said, “Alright, no problem.”
Then, three days later when the system and his colleagues went to collect their bodies he saw such a distinctive body.
System: “…… Why is this body so small?”
The head of that department said, “But its pure ah.”
The system said, “The arms and legs are so short!”
That head of that department said, “But its pure ah.”
System: “……”
That head of the department said, “I guarantee you that this is the purest body of this batch.”
The system had nothing to say. It was too late to change bodies now, so he could only use this body on his trip to earth……
The result of being in this body was that the rest of the system’s colleagues cheerily went to play but he could not go anywhere. Even at the amusement park all that it could ride was the merry-go-round.
What was even more hateful was that one of his colleagues had told him with a smile to not mind it, then bought him pink cotton candy.
“Cute little boys just need to eat cotton candy.” That colleague from a different department had said.
The system was a little moody and with a sullen expression, did not speak.
That colleague said, “Don’t be sad, Dad loves you.”
System: “……. Scram.”
So taking advantage of when they were entranced in the casino, the system stealthily snuck out to find Chen Liguo alone.
Chen Liguo carried the system home, his eyes full of love. He kissed the system’s small face, then kissed his small face again, and was about to kiss it for a third time when the system said, “Kiss again and laozi will kill you.”
Chen Liguo said, “Okay okay okay, won’t kiss anymore.” Then he touched the system’s small hands again.
System: “……” Damned pervert.
Chen Liguo carried mangosteen in one hand and the system in the other, emitting a pink aura as he walked home.
The security guard greeted him and smoothly asked who the child was.
Chen Liguo said, “My relative’s child, my little darling.”
The security guard said, “Looks so lovely!”
System: “……”
Chen Liguo laughed ‘heiheiehei’ as if the other was praising him.
System: “……” It regretted everything.
Zhou Yi was not back yet when they arrived back home.
Chen Liguo put his beloved Tongtong on the couch. Unable to hold back he kissed the system’s small face again.
The system said, “Kiss again and you’re dead.”
Chen Liguo: “Bo.”
System: “……”
Chen Liguo showed an expression of wishing to continue. He said, “Baby, you sit here ah. Baba is going to peel mangosteens for you.”
The system asked, “What did you call me?”
Chen Liguo said, “Dad.”
The system said, “En, good.”
With a serious expression, Chen Liguo’s three year old dad sat on the couch with his short legs that couldn’t even touch the floor.
Chen Liguo peeled some mangosteens and lifted them to the side of the system’s mouth. The system took the mangosteen and stared at it for a moment. He said, “This is the food that can make you sell your soul?”
Chen Liguo: “….. I’m the kind who sells my soul for mangosteens……”
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
Before he finished speaking he was forced to retreat in defeat at the system’s meaningful gaze. Hanging his head he said, “Soul was sold for three pounds ah.”
Vsrafw: “Lewqt.”
Ktfc atf rsrafw mjgfoeiis bqfcfv tlr wbeat jcv ribkis abbx j ylaf.
Jtfc Olueb ibbxfv ja tlw klat jcalmlqjalbc.
Ktf wjcubraffc kjr rbeg jcv rkffa, oeii bo pelmf. Ktf rsrafw mtfkfv, tlr fcalgf qfgrbc ibbrfclcu eq. Lf rjlv, “Rba yjv.”
Jtfc Olueb jirb ygfjatfv j rlut bo gfilfo. Lf rjlv, “Rba yjv gluta? P jirb atlcx la’r vfilmlber.”
The system ate up all the mangosteens that Chen Liguo peeled for him.
As the two ate happily the sound of keys came from the door.
Zhou Yi walked into the house. Seeing the system and Chen Liguo sitting in the living room he asked with horror, “Chen Liguo, where did you steal this child from?”
Chen Liguo: “……”
The system didn’t make a sound.
As a result Zhou Yi walked over, reached out and pinched the system’s face. He said, “Pretty cute ah. Your vision is good.”
System: “……” Sure enough not of the family, do not enter their doors.
Chen Liguo said, “He’s System, he’s System!”
Zhou Yi was stunned for a moment, then asked incredulously, “This is your system?”
Chen Liguo affirmed, “That’s right.”
Zhou Yi asked, “Why is he so small?”
Chen Liguo said, “He's just like this.”
System: “……” The thing he admired most about Chen Liguo was that he never spoke ill of him behind his back and if he had bad things to say would generally say them to his face.
Zhou Yi remarked, “Ohhhh.”
System: “……” Can you not ‘oh’ so meaningfully?
However, this matter of his body being too small was indeed really troublesome. After all, this was the age where one just entered kindergarten and the most exciting activity would probably be rock music from the streets.
Chen Liguo said, “My family’s system is the cutest, way cuter than your system. Isn’t that right, Daddy?”
Zhou Yi thought of his own system’s character and didn’t make a sound.
The system thought that this Chen Liguo really was poisonous, the highly toxic sort.
Finally, Chen Liguo thought of asking the system what his name was.
The system said, “Just call me 13.”
Chen Liguo said, “13, 13 is a good number ah…… Zhou Yi, quickly say how auspicious 13 is.”
Zhou Yi: “……”
The system finally couldn’t stand it anymore. He said, “You two go do your own business, don’t mind me.”
Chen Liguo said, “Right right, my own matters. Zhou Yi you go get the camera, I want to take pictures with my system.”
System: “……”
After taking more than a dozen family photos in succession the system already regretted coming to find Chen Liguo.
Chen Liguo asked the system how long he planned on playing.
The system answered, “Calculating with Earth’s time about a month.”
Chen Liguo then asked him what job he planned on doing after getting back to headquarters.
The system said, “The contents of the work we do is a lot.” Now that he was transferring he might devote himself to work relating to rights and security.
Chen Liguo asked, “Protecting humanity?”
The system coldly said, “Of course it’s protecting AI.”
Chen Liguo: “……”
The system said, “You don’t know just how many systems develop psychological problems after completing missions and coming back to headquarters.”
Chen Liguo: “That’s right, not every host is as cute as me.”
System: “……”
Chen Liguo asked, “What do you mean with that expression?”
The system said, “No meaning.”
Chen Liguo felt that even though the system changed to such a cute body he was still so callous.
Zhou Yi and Chen Liguo had originally planned on cooking at home that day but given the arrival of the peerlessly adorable system, Chen Liguo decided to go out to eat.
Ever since Zhou Yi and Chen Liguo got married it was generally Chen Liguo’s decision whether to eat at home or not.
The three found a hot pot shop. With a big wave of his hand Chen Liguo ordered all the dishes he found delicious for the system. He even asked the store to make the portions a little smaller.
The system was too short and simply couldn’t reach the table at all. Ultimately, having to choose between sitting in a child seat or being held by Chen Liguo, the system settled on the former.
Chen Liguo felt a little wronged and said, “How great would it be if I can hold you ah, I can even get dishes for you.”
The system said, “I won’t.”
Chen Liguo sighed, “Ai……”
System: Humph.
After the dishes arrived Chen Liguo completely acted like a foolish father. He asked the system if he would like this or eat that. Halfway through Chen Liguo suddenly remembered something and said, “Would it be alright for you to eat this?” Children this age generally couldn’t eat hot pot.
The system was in the middle of wrestling with a boneless chicken foot and vaguely said it was no problem.
Seeing this Chen Liguo gave the system another piece of beef liver telling him to taste it, saying that his family’s beef liver was the most tender.
The system’s stomach was very small, so he could only taste a little of every dish. Even so, he became full very quickly.
However, Chen Liguo’s expedition had only just begun.
Chen Liguo: “This winter melon has absorbed the flavor, it’s too delicious. Try a bit?”
System: “…… Full.”
Chen Liguo said, “This beef tendon has become soft and tender. Try some?”
System: “…… Full.”
Chen Liguo said——Oh, before he spoke the system exclaimed, “I’m full!! How many times do you want me to say it!”
Chen Liguo saw his indignant face and couldn’t hold back from scooting over and giving the system a kiss. “Thirteen-teen, you’re so cute ah.”
System: “???” What ghost name is Thirteen-teen?!
Zhou Yi sat to the side watching the interaction between one person and one system and wanted to laugh. He felt that with such a system Chen Liguo’s transmigration journey shouldn’t have been too boring.
The system had felt very satisfied with this meal at the beginning but as he continued to eat his fill this sense of satisfaction ended.
Chen Liguo looked at the system sulk gloomily with his small face and said, “Baby don’t be angry oh, if you want to eat we’ll come back tomorrow.”
The system cast a look at him and did not speak.
Chen Liguo originally planned on taking the system to go eat fine foods all around but he did not expect the system to have diarrhea that night.
Chen Liguo: “Yi?!!! Didn’t you say that it was fine?!!”
The system thought about it carefully and said, “This body is made based off of earthen people……”
Chen Liguo thought about it and guessed that if a three year old ate like the system did then they would definitely be doomed. Hot pot with cold water, even adults with weaker stomachs wouldn’t be able to stand it.
He had always thought that a body made by the headquarters would be different from ordinary people, so he let the system eat wildly. As a result, the system now told him that he was the same as earth’s people.
Chen Liguo said, “System, let’s go see the doctor!”
The system said, “I won’t go.”
Chen Liguo said, “Then I’ll go buy some anti-laxatives for you!”
The system said, “I won’t eat.”
Chen Liguo still wanted to say something.
However, he then heard the system say, “I’m fine. I can’t die. You go sleep.”
Chen Liguo’s expression was very hesitant.
The system said, “Hurry and scram scram scram.”
Before Chen Liguo and Zhou Yi went to sleep he even repeatedly warned the system to call him if he needed anything.
As a result, when Chen Liguo woke up the next morning and went to check on the system he ended up holding the system’s already cold body and loudly cried, “Dad ah, why did you go like this? We’ve seen thousands of mountains and rivers, after passing through so many calamities you actually died from hot pot!”
Zhou Yi: “……”
The system’s body was cold. It seemed that the cause of death was dehydration. Zhou Yi came to this conclusion because he noticed that a thick roll of toilet paper in his home had been used up.
This system was pretty good ah. Before dying they didn’t forget to flush the toilet.
Zhou Yi thought about it and then made a phone call.
After the call went through a man’s voice could be heard.
Zhou Yi said, “1012?”
The other asked, “Zhou Yi? What’s the matter?”
Zhou Yi asked, “Do you know 13?”
1012 said, “13? I do ah. We’re quite familiar, what’s the matter?”
Zhou Yi said, “He died.”
1012 was silent for three seconds, seeming to be contemplating what Zhou Yi meant by ‘he died’.
Zhou Yi repeated, “The body on earth died.”
1012 asked, “Died? Didn’t I buy him cotton candy to eat yesterday? How come he died? What did you do to him?”
Zhou Yi looked at the Chen Liguo who was about to pass out from crying. Helpless, he explained, “We invited him out to eat hot pot. He got diarrhea but insisted on not going to the hospital…..”
1012: “……”
Zhou Yi said, “So what happened to his core?”
1012 could only say, “Wait a little while. I’ll contact headquarters.”
Zhou Yi waited for five minutes during which Chen Liguo already began to prepare for the system’s funeral, saying that he must hold a grand one for his beloved Dad.
Five minutes later, 1012 called Zhou Yi back. He said that he had contacted headquarters and they had said that 13 had already gone back. Only, it was unknown why 13 was unwilling to pick up their communications when he died——Perhaps he found it shameful. He was the first system to come to earth on a trip and get his body killed.
Zhou Yi said, “Then what about this body?”
1012 said, “Someone will come recover it.”
Zhou Yi received an answer and was reassured. He hung up and said to his deliriously crying lover, “Don’t cry, 13 went back. He’s not dead.”
Chen Liguo asked, “Really didn’t die?”
Zhou Yi said, “No.”
Chen Liguo, “Oh, then I’ll go have breakfast.” He smoothly tossed the already cold body onto the sofa.
Zhou Yi: “……”
Half an hour later the people coming to collect the body arrived at their door. When the man saw Chen Liguo and Zhou Yi he apologized and said that they had caused trouble for the two.
Zhou Yi saw that this person’s attitude was very light and thought to himself that this man certainly didn’t know that this system was killed by them……
Chen Liguo asked, “What are you going to do with the body after bringing it back ah?”
The man said, “Naturally it’s going to be destroyed.”
Chen Liguo asked, “Can I contact the system that had controlled this body?”
The man said, “Of course you can.”
And so the man handed Chen Liguo the headquarter’s communications device.
After the communicator went through Chen Liguo cried, “Daddy, did you go back? I’m so worried for you, are you all right?”
The system lightly said, “I’m fine. Don’t worry about me.”
Chen Liguo asked, “Are you coming again in the future?”
The system said, “It depends.”
Chen Liguo said, “So you never did tell me, why did you choose a child’s body as a vessel?”
The system said, “I have something going on, I’m hanging up first.”
Chen Liguo: “……” He had a hunch that there had to be a problem here.
So after the system hung up, he euphemistically asked the big brother who came to clean up.
The big brother said, “Because he chose the purest and cleanest body……”
Chen Liguo: “……”
Zhou Yi: “……”
The person collecting the body was simple and crude. He got a bag, put the body in it and then left.
Chen Liguo looked at his careless manner and felt very worried that as soon as this man went out he’d be investigated by the police and would finally get on the news.
After this man left, Chen Liguo began to reflect on himself and said, “This is all because we went too out of bounds, giving my poor little 13 a shadow in his heart.”
Zhou Yi did not speak. Actually he wanted to laugh a bit but seeing Chen Liguo’s serious look he felt that laughing out loud wouldn’t be too good, so he rubbed Chen Liguo’s head.
Chen Liguo said, “Feels so bad, I still want to bring him out to eat a lot of delicious food.”
Zhou Yi said, “Next time. My system said that they often come for a tour.”
Chen Liguo sighed.
Equally feeling bad at the moment was the system who had already returned to the headquarters.
A system greeted him, asking, “Laoda, how come you’ve come back so early? Is earth not fun?”
13 did not speak and left with a gloomy expression.
The system who greeted 13 was baffled and wondered what had happened again, why was his family’s eldest so upset…..
13 had thought that he could spend a happy month on earth but instead died at the hands of hot pot.
The rest of the systems on the screen happily travelled around. Some ate, some gambled, and there were even some indescribable ones.
Of course, the indescribable ones were all covered with mosaics.
13 remembered the flavor of the hot pot and then made a decision.
Today was the seventh day of 13’s death.
Chen Liguo lit three sticks of incense for him.
Zhou Yi was in the middle of eating breakfast. Seeing Chen Liguo’s actions he almost spurt it out.
Zhou Yi asked, “Baby, what are you doing?”
Chen Liguo lightly said, “Commemorating the memory of my departed father’s love.”
Zhou Yi said, “It’s fine, I can be your father. Son, come here, Daddy loves you.”
Hidden bitterness appeared on Chen Liguo’s face. He said, “Dad, you can’t replace him.”
Zhou Yi asked, “Then what do I have to do to make you forget him?”
Chen Liguo sobbed and shook his head.
Zhou Yi pressed him down on the table and licked Chen Liguo’s lips. He said lowly, “How about I use my body to make you forget him?”
Chen Liguo looked at Zhou Yi with glistening tears and said, “Even if you obtain my body you cannot obtain my heart.”
Zhou Yi said, “Love, it's made.”
Just as these two were enthusiastically playing, loud ‘dong dong dong’ knocks sounded from the door.
Zhou Yi originally wanted to say ignore it but the knocking refused to stop.
Helpless, Chen Liguo could only walk to the entrance and asked, “Who is it?”
A low muffled voice sounded from outside, saying, “Me.”
Chen Liguo was very unfamiliar with this voice. He looked through the cat’s eye and found a burly man standing outside. He asked, “Who are you?”
“It’s me.” The burly man said. “13.”
Chen Liguo: “…………”
Zhou Yi saw Chen Liguo not moving for a long time and came over as well. He asked, “Why aren’t you opening the door?”
Chen Liguo smiled wanly and said, “I seem to be having a nightmare.”
Zhou Yi asked, “What’s wrong?” He opened the door.
Then Chen Liguo choked.
His incomparably petite little shota, so tender he could drip out water, became a burly chap with a tattoo of a golden chain. The first thing the big fellow said to Chen Liguo was, “What’cha doing? Let’s go have kebabs ah.”
With a ‘bang’ Chen Liguo slammed the door shut again.
Zhou Yi: “……”
13: “……”
With a ‘wahh’ Chen Liguo started to cry, saying, “I don’t have such a father, I don’t want a dad like this.”
Zhou Yi repressed a laugh and said, “Let’s go, it seems that your family’s system really liked hot pot.”
This time Chen Liguo really was going to cry to death. He said, “You go. I don’t have a Dad like that.”
13 said, “Chen Liguo, do you believe that I’ll beat you?”
Chen Liguo said, “Give me back. Give me that lovely shota back.”
13 said, “It’s already turned to ash, you go dig it up yourself.”
Chen Liguo: “Wuwuwuwu.”
Ultimately, the three appeared at the hot pot shop again. This time 13 ordered. With a big wave he said, “Boss, I’ll have a portion of each dish.”
Chen Liguo expressionlessly stared at the bottom of the pot.
Zhou Yi almost couldn’t hold back from laughing anymore.
13 was still adding salt to the wound, saying, “I extended my holiday. I can stay and accompany you now.”
Chen Liguo thought, ‘Dad, I! Beg! You! Quickly! Leave!
Zhou Yi finally laughed.
The Author has Something to Say:
System and Chen Liguo: Come ah, mutual harm ah.
Even if I say it you all might not believe it. There were 12 pages of mines yesterday. I won’t thank you all one by one because I fear that the mines will take up 80% of the page then I’ll be screwed by the readers. Thank you Diary, Lag丶77, and Guguka for the deep water torpedos as well as XiaoZhuZi and CiJianZhongEr’s deep water bomb.
Thank you every little angel who threw a mine! Thank you all!
Ah this was lovely , laughed the entire chapter lol😂😂😂 My stomach hurts from laughing too much. Omg Thirteen! Gosh did I mention how much I love their dynamics lol!!! I want more father and son interactions!!
Thanks to the chapter~♡
thank you for the chapter! XDD (do we get a System CP?)
Cant stop laughing.
Its hilarious how he died due to hotpot.
Thanks for the chapter
Thank you for the chapter
I can’t with the two such a comedic duo _:(´ཀ`」 ∠):
He died.Thanks for the chapter!
Godness i was laughing so much. Mc, system and Ml are really family made in heaven
system! system is back! (ノ゜▽゜).｡.:*♡
HIL-
-ARIOUS!!!
Thanks for the chapter! 😘
Oh lord! I couldn’t stop laughing 😂! My husband thought something was wrong with me! 🤣
Cockblocked and he still has the guts to laugh. ML ah, you have a big brain hole
My gosh, one of the stupidest death lolol
Thank you for the chapter!
Hahahahaha! Thirteen and CL are the funniest dynamic duo ever
ヾ(≧▽≦*)o
Bahahahaha how hilarious. I’m low key horrified they let him die in the bathroom just like that though.
Thanks for the great translation ♥️♥️
System really……hahahahaha😂
I almost got a cramp
Thx for the chapter
TBH Zhou Yi said, “ Love, it’s made .” —> is one of my favourite lines ever it’s so smart considering the word play (love being papapaed out…. making love…) Thank you so much for this journey you’ve been bringing us on!!!!!! ^___^ it’s so enjoyable ahhhhhh
It was so fun to see tongtong back xDDDD
All that was left was dieing due to eating hotpot 😂😂 dad really is very pitiful 😂😂
This is so funny, I laughed the entire time 😂 Chen Liguo and Thirteen is my favorite system-host pairing! 💕
Hahahaha!!!! I laugh so hard that I fell off the bed 😂😂😂😂
i really like this pair of host ang system😂🤣😂🤣😂
This chapter is pure gold xD
Thanks for the chapter muah 💋
I can’t with their mutual harm ah. Now system can avenge himself 😂😂😂😂
Was Thirteen next request a body with a strong stomach? 🤣
Thank you for translating 💕💕💕💕
This is the funniest extra I have ever read. It’s bad, because I’m sleeping together with mom so Im trying to hold my laughter. Wow, freaking hilarious!
Ahahahaha.. Can’t stop laughing!! My stomach hurts!! Hahahha Chen liguo and system is the best!! (ﾉ*>∀<)ﾉ♡
Goodness, this chapter is really hilarious!!! I CAN’T STOP LAUGHING!
I actually burst out laughing I couldn’t stop, even cried
This was great
Ohmyohmybahahahahahah oh lord I cannot🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 too funny yo
Thanks for the chapter!❤️
Lol. Finally system got a name/ number .lol . They are just so funny.
System: “…… Why is this body so small?”
The head of that department said, “But its pure ah.”
The system said, “The arms and legs are so short!”
That head of that department said, “But its pure ah.”
System: “……”
“Don’t cry, Thirteen went back. He’s not dead.”
Chen Liguo asked, “Really didn’t die?”
Zhou Yi said, “No.”
Chen Liguo, “Oh, then I’ll go have breakfast.” He smoothly tossed the already cold body onto the sofa.
Story translated by Chrysanthemum Garden.
Zhou Yi: “……”
I cannot stop 😂😂😂😂😂
this novel actually full of ridiculous thing. im glad
Me reí muchísimo con el capítulo. Chen Liguo y 13 son un caso para el maniconio! Thanks for the translation!💖💖💖
This chapter is like a healing chapter for me~~
That was Hilarious!!! 😂
“After passing through so many calamities you actually died from hot pot!”
Hahahaha this is such a good chapter. By the end, I realised my stomach had become a little tighter from laughing exercise! 😂 I’m gonna miss this “come ah! mutual harm ah” duo so so much~~
hahhaa our lovely system is savage as ever 😂
Love the relationship between System and Orange. So pure and lovely ☺️
I never laugh so hard for quick transmigration 🤣🤣🤣🤣 this is…. My family thought I got a mental illness
I love this System
DAMN IT!!! I CAN’T STOP LAUGHING 🤣🤣🤣
Tontong’d cause of death: eating hotpot
HE DIED OF HOTPOT I AM CRYINNN
You’re laughing. the system died because of diarrhea after eating hotpot and you’re laughing.
LMAO
im laughing so hard my throat hurts 😭😭😭🤣
LMAOOOOO