Translator: White Lotus
◈ ◈ ◈ ◈
Hira wished there was no summer vacation. It was the first time in his life that Hira had ever thought such a thing.
There was a time when the long spring, summer, and winter vacations were precious times that temporarily freed Hira from the misery of school. However, he no longer desired to take a vacation, which he had to pass without seeing Kiyoi. It was really stupid of him to think that way. Despite his lowly status, he actually fell in love with someone at the top of the pyramid who was also of the same sex. He really didn’t know how to face Captain Duck.
Keep your mind as calm as possible. Don’t be sensitive to stimuli.
Hira’s love for Kiyoi was exactly the opposite of everything Captain Duck had taught him.
“How about fried shrimp for dinner?”
Hira was in the middle of eating his lunch-Hiyashi chūka-when his mother, sitting across the table, asked him.
“The fish market is now having a sale on shrimp. Even on prawns. You like those, right?”
Normally, his family would only eat black-tiger shrimp, but the reason his mother was offering to buy such expensive shrimp was because of her son, who had been nestled in the house with a depressed face since the summer vacation started.
“Your father likes to eat scallops. We should have them too.”
Hira felt extremely guilty about the fact that his mother had been so considerate as to deliberately mention his father’s favorite dishes in order for Hira not to realize she was attempting to cheer him up. To be completely honest, Hira would feel more at ease if his mother would quit worrying about him and leave him alone. But it was impossible for him to say such words, so he kept eating hiyashi chūka in silence. At that moment, suddenly, his phone vibrated. Hira assumed it was some kind of advertisement again. When Hira checked the phone to confirm it, his heart skipped a bit as he saw it was a message from Shirota.
[I’m counting on you to reserve a spot for ten people at the Kurokawa Fireworks festival.]
The Kurokawa Fireworks Display was a traditional summer event in the local area, and Hira went there with his parents when he was a child. If ten individuals were coming, Kiyoi would also be included. His heart began to flutter at the mere thought of it, much like a konbu being washed up by the waves as it lay on the beach. He was willing to run errands or reserve a seat as long as he could see Kiyoi.
“Mom, will two picnic mats be enough for ten people at the fireworks event?”
“Eh, did someone invite you to go to the fireworks event together with them through the text message just now?”
Instantaneously, his mother’s face lit up. Two would be too few for ten people, three should be enough, but just in case, it would be better to bring four picnic mats. Were they friends from school? Would any girls be participating? Was he going to wear a yukata? Faced with one question after another, Hira began to regret asking his mother’s opinion.
The next day, after eating breakfast, Hira immediately rushed to the riverbank where the fireworks event would be held. The riverbank had not even begun to prepare for the event. Hira spread out the four picnic mats he had brought along, and the corners of each mat were secured with little stone weights to keep them from blowing away in the wind. Then Hira sat in the middle of them, wrapping his arms around his knees.
There were still ten hours before the appointed time of 7:00 pm. It had been two weeks since he’d last seen Kiyoi. Hira wondered if Kiyoi was going to be wearing a yukata. Hira was so excited that he couldn’t wait to see him. There were sure to be many girls wearing yukata at the fireworks display, as it was a summer event. If his mother knew that her son was looking forward to seeing a boy in a yukata, she would probably cry. Even Hira himself felt like he was carrying a huge burden when he thought about the future.
But strangely, he didn’t feel either anxious nor pessimistic. Despite the fact that he was deeply in love with Kiyoi, he didn’t perceive himself as gay. The one he loved was Kiyoi, not men. Hira didn’t feel anything when he saw handsome men, just as he didn’t feel anything when he saw beautiful women. His antennae did not react to anyone other than Kiyoi. To him, only Kiyoi was special.
Hira was playing games on his cell phone while he was waiting alone, but it was so hot that gradually the top of his head and the nape of his neck were scorching in the sun, and he finally lost the mood to play the game. The sun was getting stronger as the day approached noon. Hira gulped down one of the many ice-cold sports drinks that his mother had forced him to bring. Originally, Hira didn’t feel the need to bring that many, but his mother proved to be right. His sweat was dripping profusely.
Hira set up a parasol and wrapped a towel around his head, then lay down on the mat to pass the time by dozing off. People around him, gradually increasing in number and making noise. Ah, it’s almost evening.
“Are you dead?”
Suddenly, Hira heard a voice from above him. He slowly took off the towel and saw Kiyoi bent over, looking at him. Hira let out a low yelp and immediately got up. There were many people already gathered at the riverbank, and girls wearing yukatas walked past them like colorful fish. Hira asked Kiyoi to wait while he hurriedly attempted to straighten the mat’s crease, but his hand suddenly stopped moving as he noticed something.
“Where’s everyone?”
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
Kiyoi was the only one who came there. Hearing Hira’s question, Kiyoi turned to look at him. Hira instantly felt a sense of oppression, as though he were being crushed up against a wall. Even though he was allowed to join their group as an errand boy, he still couldn’t get used to Kiyoi’s aura.
“They’ve gone to pick up the girls.”
Llgj kjr ajxfc jyjmx ys ufaalcu j qgbqfg gfrqbcrf. Lf atbeuta tf kjr ublcu ab yf lucbgfv ys Blsbl.
“Ah, I see. Girls are coming too.”
“But there isn’t one for you, though.”
Blsbl gfqilfv mbivis. Lf rffwfv ab tjnf wlrecvfgrabbv tlw jr Llgj gfrqbcvfv lc jc bnfgis fcaterljralm wjccfg. Yo mbegrf, tf kjrc’a fzqfmalcu jcs ulgir. Ejatfg, la kjr atf meggfca rlaejalbc atja wjvf tlw offi nfgs tjqqs.
It was the first time he and Kiyoi were alone together. While Hira struggled to control the intense palpitation of his heart, Kiyoi sat down on the mat with his legs crossed. Kiyoi was not wearing a yukata, but a T-shirt and slim-fit pants. Even casual clothing seemed fashionable on him because he was so attractive. Ah, in one of his ears, Kiyoi had a little stud. Hira hadn’t seen him wear it at school, so he guessed Kiyoi only wore it during summer vacation.
“…… What’s your problem?”
Kiyoi suddenly looked at himself. Hira’s heart pounded wildly.
“Wh- wh- wha-what?”
Ah, God, please don’t let me stutter in front of Kiyoi. Unfortunately, praying to God only had the opposite effect, and his words got jumbled up even more than usual. At times like these, he had to rely on Captain Duck-
“You always keep staring at me, don’t you?”
Hira was so shocked that, instantly, an image of Captain Duck jumping into the air flashed before his eyes.
Kiyoi didn’t ask any questions; instead, he made an assertion. Hira’s cheeks heated up as he wondered if he had been found out. He didn’t have the guts to feign ignorance and deny it. Rather, he felt a surge of desire to say what he felt about him. Perhaps it was the fault of the lively atmosphere around him due to the fireworks event that would start in a few hours.
“Tha- that- that’s ……”
The stumbling words were stuck in his throat like a ball of wool.
“That’s because Kiyoi …… Kiyoi-kun ……”
Kiyoi furrowed his eyebrows. Hira became enraged at his own clumsiness. If he let Kiyoi wait a little longer, Kiyoi would soon lose interest in hearing the answer. Hira lifted his downcast eyes and made up his mind.
“Because Kiyoi-kun is beautiful.”
The moment he finished speaking, the line between Kiyoi’s brows deepened.
“Huh?”
Looking at Kiyoi’s suspicious eyes, Hira began to get anxious.
It wasn’t that he was concerned about being disgusted by Kiyoi (because it wasn’t “might”; he would “definitely” be disgusted), but rather due to the simplicity of his choice of words.
Such a simple word as “beautiful” wasn’t enough to express his feelings for Kiyoi. However, even if he used a lot of convoluted words, he didn’t think he could adequately express it. So in the end, he chose such a brief and clumsy word and remained staring at him without saying anything further.
As Kiyoi spoke, his brow remained furrowed.
“You’re so gross.”
Just as Kiyoi uttered those words, Hira suddenly realized something.
You.
…… you.
………… you?
Now, thinking about it, Hira had never been addressed as “Hii-kun” by Kiyoi before.
“You seem like the type who might be stabbed by someone someday.”
How come he never noticed something this important before? Maybe this was the main factor in Hira’s strong aversion to this nickname. However, he had never addressed him as “Hira,” though; perhaps this was because he was reluctant to bring up his existence. Or perhaps he hadn’t given it much thought. Which one could it be? As Hira was preoccupied with his thoughts, Kiyoi began to get annoyed.
“Are you even listening?”
“Y-Yes, I’m listening. Sorry.”
His beautiful, thin lips never formed the word “Hii-kun,” but “you”. Hira’s chest seemed to tremble with pent-up delight. Maybe he looked like he was about to cry right now. Kiyoi looked at him with an expression of disgust. Then someone spoke from behind them.
“Kiyoi.”
When they turned around, they saw that Shirota, who was leading the way, was with the same group as usual, along with some girls wearing yukata.
“Awesome, this is the best spot! Thanks Hii-Kun.”
Miki said as he cast a quick check around, and one of the girls in yukata stated, “It is exhausting to stand all the time,” as she sat down excitedly. Her yukata had a pattern of purple roses, so flamboyant that it didn’t look elegant at all.
“Kiyoi-kun, what did you do last time when you returned from our beach trip?”
When the girl in the purple rose yukata asked, Kiyoi replied, “All night at the karaoke.” That was all it took for the girls to burst into laughter. Hira was clueless as to what they were discussing. So he assumed all of them traveled to the beach together.
“It’s so hot, even though it’s already evening. I want kakigoori.”
One of the girls spoke, and Shirota and the others stood up, saying, “Let’s go to the food stalls.” Along with them went Kiyoi, who was surrounded by the girls, and his time alone with Kiyoi, which had been like a dream, came to an abrupt end.
It was fun to joke around while exploring the stalls, so Hira was left to guard the area instead of being sent on his usual duty of running errands by the group. A lot of couples and families were passing by him. Being alone in the midst of such a crowd, Hira felt a vague sense of loneliness. That was the exact reason why Hira usually didn’t go to events on vacation. But today was different. Hira buried his face in his knees and smiled as he was thinking about his earlier conversation with Kiyoi.
——You always keep staring at me, don’t you?
——You’re so disgusting.
Kiyoi had noticed Hira watching him. Despite being a little disappointed by Kiyoi’s disgust for him, Hira was glad of the fact that Kiyoi had acknowledged his presence. Hira, who was constantly treated like air, felt as though he had received something resplendent.
That way of thinking was perhaps despicable or disgusting. But no one needed to understand. He alone was the recipient of this joy. Just as even small insect had a soul.
I also have the right to be happy.
Hira lifted his head in response to a whistling sound. A massive flower fire bloomed in the pitch-black night sky with a loud bang. After then, cheerful voices began to ring out in the vicinity.
“Hey, can you scoot over?”
When he turned around, he saw that everyone had returned. They were either holding kakigoori, yakisoba or frankfurter. And, involuntarily, Hira’s stomach growled. He had only eaten onigiri from the convenience store for lunch. Just as he was considering heading to the stalls to buy something to eat, he was offered kakigoori and okonomiyaki from both sides of him: “Wanna eat?”, “You hungry?”
The bright red kakigoori held out towards him from his right side was offered by a girl he didn’t know, and the okonomiyaki on his left was from Kiyoi. Of course, Hira’s eyes were fixed on the left. Did Kiyoi buy it especially for him? Ah, oh no. His heart felt like it was going to explode. He stammered a thank you and extended his hand.
“Ah, forget it. Take hers.”
The okonomiyaki was swiftly withdrawn.
“Eh, ah, but-“
“I was given this for free, but I can’t eat it. Anyone want this?”
As soon as Kiyoi held up the okonomiyaki, Shirota and the others promptly seized it.
Ah, so it was a freebie… Hira sensed disappointment for a split second before rationalizing it as inevitable. However, just as he was feeling depressed at missing the opportunity to obtain it, the kakigoori emerged once more from his right side.
“Um, do you want this?”
“Ah, um, thanks.”
The girl’s presence had completely escaped his memory. When Hira was about to take out his wallet, the girl shook her head.
“You reserved the spot for us by yourself, didn’t you?”
“Yeah.”
“It must’ve been so hot. Thank you for your hard work.”
She had a pleasant smile. Her black hair was trimmed in a bob style with thick bangs, and she wore glasses. She wasn’t like the glitzy girls Shirota and his group were friends with. Why was such a plain-looking girl like her here?
“Hii-kun, do you know the restaurant located at the intersection of Kinoshita Street?”
Shirota abruptly questioned, turning to face Hira. Hira gave a nod.
“Go and make reservations for seats. For ten people.”
Are you for real? Hira sputtered inwardly. He’d been saving the spot for them since the morning, and now they want him to reserve restaurant seats as well? Besides, he was currently sitting in the perfect spot, right next to Kiyoi.
“Sorry, Kurata will go with you too.”
The girl in the purple-rose yukata turned around and spoke to Hira as well. Kurata? Who is that? When Hira was wondering, the girl on his right side who offered him the kakigoori looked over. Ah……so this girl, like me, is at the bottom of the pyramid.
“So there’s one for you after all.”
As Kiyoi spoke in a low voice, Hira looked at him. Despite being aware that Hira was staring at him, Kiyoi chose to ignore him and instead fix his gaze up at the fireworks. Compared to his remarks, which were as frigid as ice, his side profile was far more beautiful.
“……Yeah. Then I’ll go.”
Hira muttered at a volume that only Kiyoi was able to hear.
He was going only for Kiyoi’s sake, not for anyone else.
Even though he was sunburned to reserve the spot at the fireworks event, even though his stomach was growling from hunger, and even though he was turning his back on a night sky filled with beautiful fireworks, just for Kiyoi, he would go to the restaurant to reserve the seats.
Kiyoi pretended not to hear him. Hira suppressed his urge to see more of Kiyoi’s beautiful profile. Hira stood up, and Kurata followed suit. Turning away from the fireworks that bloomed stunningly in the night sky, the two of them started walking. As Hira was eating the kakigoori, Kurata suddenly spoke:
“I wanted to watch it a little bit longer.”
Her voice sounded very sad. If he could concur with her to make her feel better, that would be good. But…
“That’s fine by me.”
Hearing Hira’s answer, Kurata asked with a tilted head: “Don’t you like fireworks?”
“It’s not like that. But there’s something I like more than fireworks.”
Kurata had a puzzled look on her face. Behind them, the sounds of the fireworks were loud enough to hurt Hira’s internal organs.
◈ ◈ ◈ ◈
his obsession is very….interesting. Curious to see how this will go
I’m sad and happy for him at the same time. Happy because, somehow,he found solace in his situation, but also sad that he has to go through this. I don’t understand this kind of love, but like what he said, ‘others don’t have to understand it’ —as long as you’re happy, darling. As long as you’re happy.
Thanks! 😍
I want to hurt those bullies. That includes Kiyoi.
Can’t this be not shonen Ai? I hope Kurata will be MC’s close friend.
Tbh, Hira, I prefer Captain Duck ┻━┻ ︵ヽ(`Д´)ﾉ︵ ┻━┻
I am glad he has something to make him happy. Hope the treatment improves.
Why i got the feeling that kiyoi kind of like or have a crush on him ? Remember the synopsis abt tsundere uke ? I think that’s kiyoi and the masochist one is hira
The book gives a different perspective in the series it made it seem like Hira was a facecon and Kiyoi fell first and helped Hira reliase his feelings however it seems like Hira already knew and had a clear understanding of what he felt for Kiyoi