Translator: White Lotus
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Hira was added to the lowest rank of Kiyoi’s group as an errand boy that could be utilized when it was convenient. Even though they still called him by the nickname “Hii-kun”, unlike before, since that incident with Yoshida, apart from Kiyoi’s group, the rest of the class now dared not call him by that nickname anymore. Hira was still considered a trash, but now he had been recognized by his peers as a complex existence: even if he was a trash, he was the king’s trash.
“Two ham sandwiches, and something sweet as well. And then the usual cider.”
As soon as the fourth period ended, Hira hurriedly ran to Kiyoi. Kiyoi then handed him the menu of the day, indirectly instructing Hira to purchase it from the school canteen. Sometimes Kiyoi brought his lunch box that his mother prepared for him, but even then he would still be asking for juice. So, Hira had to run errands for him everyday.
“Hii-kun, I want a coffee-flavored Papico.”
“I want a curry-bread-ah!! No. Well, I’ll have a hot dog. And also a pear-flavored Garigari-Kun.”
Summer was just around the corner, and every time there was a brief respite between the rains, it was hot and humid. Everyone else kept asking for ice cream. In order not to forget something, Hira clumsily wrote down the ordered items on the notepad of his cell phone. But there was no trace of unhappiness in him.
He would run errands for Kiyoi, and by taking advantage of this process, he would also buy things for others. His owner was only Kiyoi. He did the same job as an errand boy, but it gave him incredible satisfaction. Lately he didn’t even think about Captain Duck.
After writing down the things that needed to be purchased, Hira immediately rushed out of the classroom. Whenever he did errands, he tried to run as fast as possible so as not to make Kiyoi wait. Upon returning after buying everything, everyone frantically took their stuff from the bag and gave the money they owed to Hira.
“Ah! Shit! I don’t have any money. Hii-kun, is it alright if I pay you back next week?”
Shirota said as he opened his wallet. Hira cursed in his mind. Shirota didn’t pay for his bread yesterday either, and he definitely would use the same excuse for not paying again next week. Or if this was an omen of extortion. Hira felt a sense of danger.
If this continued, it would only be a matter of time before others would also cease to pay. When he could no longer pay for everything with just his pocket money, then he would have no choice but to steal money from his mother’s purse! Just as Hira was imagining a rope in the shape of a circle, a hand suddenly reached out towards him.
“Here.”
A 500 yen coin was held between Kiyoi’s fingertips. Instinctively, Hira reached out his hand, and the coin fell into his palm. But Kiyoi had already paid his share.
“Kiyoi, there’s no need. I’ll get paid at my part-time job next week.” Shirota said.
“Then you can pay me back next week.”
“Why do you’ve to go through this much fuss…”
“I don’t have any problem with this. Look at his face! His expression isn’t good at all. It’s still okay if he goes crying to his parents or to the teacher. But what if he commits suicide, and our faces appear on the internet, saying these guys are delinquents? Then we won’t be able to handle that situation.”
As soon as Kiyoi finished speaking, Shirota and the others turned their head to look at Hira.
“Hii-kun, are you gonna to commit suicide?”
I don’t want to kill myself, so don’t make me do it! The words were stuck in Hira’s throat, but they didn’t come out. Without saying anything, he lifted the corners of his lips into something resembling a smile, and Shirota and the others, seeing this, squealed, “How scary…..”
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
“Geez…This is why cowards are so annoying.”
Shirota clicked his tongue in a solemn manner, and then apologized to Kiyoi. Kiyoi simply replied “Yeah” and continued peeling the cellophane off his sandwich.
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If Kiyoi wasn’t here, the idiots like Shirota and his group would’ve severely cornered someone by using them as a servant, and one day, something irreversible would’ve happened. Kiyoi prevented this from occurring at an appropriate moment.
As expected, he’s truly my king.
Hira sincerely praised Kiyoi in his heart, then carefully placed the 500 yen coin he had just received from Kiyoi not in his wallet, but in a separate pass holder. He put the money he collected from Shirota and the others in the coin pocket of his wallet, but the money that had passed through Kiyoi’s hands was special, so Hira didn’t put it in his wallet, lest he accidentally spend it.
As Hira sorted the coins as usual, he suddenly noticed something. Kiyoi overpaid him. There were still 100 yen remaining after deducting the portion he paid for Shirota.
“kiyoi-kun.”
As Hira called out to him, Kiyoi turned his head to him. Whenever he did this, Hira’s chest tightened indescribably. Under the influence of Kiyoi’s powerful gaze, Hira extended his palm, holding a 100 yen coin.
“What?”
“You gave me too much money.”
Kiyoi glanced at the 100 yen coin in Hira’s hand.
“You can keep it.”
Hira’s eyes widened in surprise.
“But…”
“Keep it as your tip. How about buying an ice cream for yourself with it?”
After hearing that, Shirota and the others burst out laughing and started teasing Hira.
“That’s great, Hii-kun! Eat an ice cream and don’t think about committing suicide anymore.”
Hira held the coin tightly in his hand.
“Th..tha..Thank you…”
When Hira just stared at Kiyoi and thanked him with a flushed face, Shirota and his friends were unable to contain themselves and burst out laughing. Kiyoi just raised an eyebrow in disgust, and muttered a single word, “Annoying!”
Hira returned to his seat and carefully placed the tip he got from Kiyoi into his pass holder. In a situation like this, he ought to have been enraged at them for making a mockery of him. However, Hira didn’t get angry. His heart fluttered as if he had received an unexpected gift. Only Kiyoi had the ability to make him happy while hurting him. The internal system of his body that controlled his emotions had become weird ever since Hira met Kiyoi.
That day, after school, Hira stopped by a store near the station building that he usually passed by. Miscellaneous items were on display, and girls in school uniforms were chatting among themselves about how cute those items were.
Hira entered the shop, which seemed to have a sign that said “Prohibits entry other than cute things!” After wandering around the store, Hira quickly found the section he was looking for. A lot of pastel-colored and polka-dot-patterned canisters were arranged on the shelves. Hira walked around the store while tilting his head to look at those, but he felt that they weren’t quite what he wanted, so he started to search for more.
“What’s that guy’s doing?”
Hira froze in his tracks with a start when he heard whispers behind him.
“Maybe he’s looking for a present for his girlfriend.”
“No way. Someone like that doesn’t have a girlfriend.”
Someone like that….?
“But he’s tall.”
“Height alone isn’t enough. What about the face?”
“It’s average. His bangs are too long, so I can’t see his face properly.”
“Gross.”
Cut in half with a single stroke. At that moment, Hira pictured the girls as if they were swinging at him with sugar-coated swords. Sinister sugar scattered all around. I’m so sorry. Without considering his own status, he ended up ruining the girls’ pretty flower garden. Hira dejectedly walked out of that store.
He was thinking what to do as he rode the slightly vibrating train back to his home. All the stuff in the store was just cute, but there was nothing significant. He didn’t need polka dots or any other superfluous designs. He wanted something simpler, and rather than being cute, it had to be strong and transparent. While imagining the ideal container, he suddenly remembered something.
When the train arrived at the destination, Hira jumped out through the open door quickly. He sprinted for ten minutes to get home, kicked off his shoes at the entrance and rushed into the kitchen.
“Mom, where did you put grandpa’s mementos?”
His mother, who was preparing dinner, turned around.
“Why are you suddenly looking for those?”
“He had a flask similar to the ones that are used for experiments. Where is it?”
“I think it’s in the attic.”
Hira climbed the stairs, then used a ladder to go up to the attic. He had to stoop down to move forward since the ceiling was low, which caused dust to accumulate on his uniform’s knees. He rummaged through layers of cardboard boxes stacked one on top of the other and found four boxes labeled [Grandpa Hira – mementos]. Hira went through each box, found what he was looking for, and then went downstairs without even putting things back in their proper places.
“Stop, don’t enter the kitchen like that while still covered in dust.”
After being stopped by his mother at the entrance of the kitchen, he changed his route and went to the bathroom instead. Using liquid soap, he gently washed the flask he had just taken out of the attic, and then carefully wiped it with a dry towel.
Ah, it’s very pretty. This flask was completely different from those cute containers in the store earlier. The round bottom of it fit perfectly in his palm. Furthermore, unlike the typical round-bottomed flask used in laboratories, this flask’s bottom was made of thick glass, allowing it to stand upright on its own.
“I didn’t think you’d be interested in these things. Maybe you take after your grandpa.”
Hira’s mother came to peek into the bathroom.
“This one was made by a pretty famous artist. Your grandpa was a hobbyist, so he collected a lot of porcelain or scrolls. That’s why I used to be so nervous every time I invited them over. No mistake could be made even in arranging a flower in the vase.”
“Hmm.”
“I wonder, Kazu-kun, if you inherited your grandpa’s aesthetic eyes?”
For some reason, Hira felt happy inside. Hira’s grandfather who died two years ago was indeed a man of exquisite taste. In the past, he often took Hira, who was introverted because of his dysphemia, to art exhibitions, haiku sessions and tea parties. The world that Grandpa showed Hira was much more beautiful than school, where the cruel classmates huddled together like monkeys.
“Since you still take photos, maybe in the future you could work with something that is related to art.”
“That’s not possible! I’d have to go to art school for that.”
“Well, then you should get into a university like that. Or even study photography. Why don’t you show me your photos sometimes?”
“I don’t want to.”
After giving a short answer, Hira picked up his bag and the flask and headed to his room.
The camera that his parents bought for him when he was young became one of his few hobbies. The first time they had taken him out to take photos had been a disaster, but after gradually learning how to edit photos, he began to enjoy it.
During the holidays, Hira would visit a bustling downtown area and take photos of the places where there were a lot of people coming and going, and then meticulously erase only the people using photo-editing software. In the space full of holes, he filled the cityscape thoroughly.
It was both delicate and laborious work, but this way he was able to focus only on that. The sadness, anger, and misery of everyday life would have faded away from his memory. When it became a blank sheet of paper, only then did Hira feel a sense of peace. He liked the scenery that he created that way. From a city’s scenery, where there should be a lot of people, they all abruptly vanished. It gave the impression that in a world where people had committed numerous sins, God had ultimately punished them without giving them any prior warning.
One day, he added an orange filter that resembled blood, which turned it into a scary photo. Hira preferred a clear, transparent world created by exposure, in which only humans didn’t exist naturally. Rather than feeling creepy, It evoked a deeper sense of emptiness.
Even Hira himself found it gloomy. So he never showed the photos that he took to his parents. He was a boy with dysphemia who had no friends. The last time a friend of his came to his house was when he was in elementary school. If he showed such photos to his parents, who knew their son didn’t fit in at school, they would become more depressed and would think that he was mentally ill.
Being an only son, Hira himself felt apologetic towards his parents. But there was nothing he could do about it.
All of his dissatisfaction and anxiety were always stuck inside him, spinning endlessly like a migratory fish.
Hira put an end to his never-ending thoughts as he placed the flask down on his desk. Then he opened the drawer and took out a tray in which the coins were placed. He dropped one of these coins into the flask. When it impacted the flask’s bottom, a “clink” sound was audible. One more. Then another. These were the coins he received from Kiyoi when he ran errands. He finally took today’s coin out of his pass holder and also dropped that into the flask.
He sat down in the chair and stared at the flask that glowed with blue and green colors as it was illuminated by the sunlight streaming in through the window. Hira was extremely satisfied. Even more so, happiness seemed to overflow from his heart, making it difficult for him to breathe. Both painful and satisfying, as if suffocating him. He had never before in his life felt such a sensation. But he was fully aware of what this feeling was.
——Keep it as your tip. How about buying an ice cream for yourself with it?
How could he possibly dare spend it on ice cream? He yearned for it and desired to have it close at hand.
This feeling is called Love.
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“This feeling called Love.”
aweeee😭💔
Thanks for the chapter!
I cannot, he’s in love just like that?
It is pretty interesting how his mind works. The drama didn’t show any of this.
i dont like it as much as i expected to, but ill still give it a try. i wanna see how their relationship will progress haha
I really appreciate the Translator’s note. This is why I love novels, the detaaaiiilllsss is sooo (づ￣ ³￣)づ
Uhm I think MC needs therapy.
Details of the mind♡♥
This is still good i think (?) After read another more messed up japan work beside this make me numb of them -_-
he’s quite foolish lol!! he’s inlove w his bully. if shown a little bit of kindness, he grabs on to it immediately
IT IS NOT LOVE SOMEBODY BETTER TELL HIM!!!!
Hira is so pitiful like…i…
😭