Cw; child abuse, suicidal thoughts
The heavy hit sent the child flying down the stairs of the throne room, but the officials watched without batting an eye. The young prince remained unmoving for just a second but, as if he had long been used to such a treatment, slowly stood. He remained on his knees and prostrated, his forehead touching the ground.
“Thank you, Royal Father for the lesson.”
“And the decree?”
“…This son will dutifully carry out Royal Father’s orders.”
Soon, a set of guards arrived at the young prince’s side, guiding him out of the throne room.
Waiting just at the bottom of the steps was a frantic woman. The woman wore clothes of a palace maid. While she was still young, it was clear that stress had aged her around the edges. Eyes that should be pure for a woman at the age of only nineteen was riddled with wariness. When she saw the guards walking down with her young ward, she had to resist the urge to run up and receive him. Only once the guards were gone did tears slip from her eyes.
“My poor prince,” the young woman whispered, her hands clumsily skimming over the cuts and bruises on his face.
“Let’s return to the Han Palace first,” the young prince said, dodging the young woman’s concerned hands.
The maid and her master got onto the palanquin.
It didn’t take long for them to arrive back at the Han Palace.
The moment the young prince was set on the ground, the few servants who had been loyal to his mother rushed forward. He was used to seeing the pitying eyes and he reacted little as he was ushered into the palace.
Ever since the young prince’s maternal family, Duke Tian’s family, were weeded out for treason, the young prince had suffered neglect from not only the royal family, but also servants. They now lived in a small palace, tucked far away in a dilapidated courtyard. The young prince was only ten this year, but he reacted little to pain now. Whenever toys or sweets were placed in front of them, he would just give them a cursory glance and smile in gratitude. But this smile was far too practiced and not very natural.
“The emperor actually wants to send the Young Prince to the border!” the young maid said, tears bubbling at her eyes as she watched the Noble Consort’s old, loyal eunuch carefully clean the young prince’s wounds.
“The border?!” the old eunuch’s eyes widened. He looked at the child, sitting silently on the edge of the bed and gritted his teeth. “Has the emperor gone insane?! T-the war at the border has persisted for so many years—even General Gu couldn’t suppress the forces of the Yu Kingdom, yet he wants to send His Highness?”
“This is a death sentence,” another maid said tearfully.
“You mustn’t speak of Royal Father in such a way,” the young prince quietly warned.
The servants immediately quieted.
After the wounds of the young prince were cleaned, the young prince stood and quietly got onto his knees. The servants were shocked in turn and immediately rushed to help the young prince up, but the young prince didn’t move.
“Royal Father will be sending guards to take me to the border tomorrow morning. You are all dismissed from your post as of now.”
“This—Your Highness, the border is cold and ruthless. How could we just leave you?” the old eunuch cried.
“That’s right! You’re still young. Even if you want to act as an adult, you shouldn’t be forced to suffer such injustices,” the young maid sobbed.
The young prince suppressed any sour emotions in his heart and kept his head lowered. “But if you all stay, Royal Father will kill you while I’m away.”
The sounds of quiet sniffling filled the small room. The young prince stood and took out three slips of paper. He returned each slip to the person. These were the deeds that marked them as slaves. A moment later, the young prince also pulled out a box. He sorted out the three pouches inside and handed them to each person.
“I hope Wan-jiejie and Liu-jijie don’t mind, but I gave Grandpa Li more money,” the young prince said.
“W-where did you get this money, Your Highness?”
“I asked one of the guards to sell off mother’s jewelry,” the young prince whispered, his lashes fluttering.
“That—but those were the last things Your Highness had of the Tian Dukedom!”
The young prince remained silent. He released the old eunuch’s hand and took a step back. “The people are already dead and I most likely won’t last on the border. You three will still be alive. Isn’t it better to make use of a few objects in exchange for your comfort?”
The three servants cried bitterly, but the young prince remained unmoved. He waited until the servants quieted before he hugged them individually.
“I already paid off the guards,” the young prince said, carefully wiping the tears off the face of his servants. “If you all leave now, no one will be able to catch you. Royal Father won’t care much after I leave, but as a precaution, you shouldn’t stay in the capital.”
The three servants sniffled.
“But Your Highness—”
“Thank you for showing me kindness,” the young prince said. He forced what could be considered a genuine smile. “But I can only repay you all in my next life.”
Farewells were always the hardest, but once the years pass and feelings fade, all that is left behind is a vague memory. The young prince knew this well, for he no longer remembered what his grandfather or what his mother even looked like.
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
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Aside from fighting, the soldiers never saw their general. It was rumored that the general would be in the woods every night, instead of sleeping, slaughtering the wildlife that were native there. If he wasn’t bothering the wildlife, he was targeting innocent passersby. Their general was coldhearted and ruthless. With blades he wielded with his own hands, he cut down enemies without batting an eye. Aside from the tactician who lived in close proximity to the general, no one had ever heard him talk.
Someone who had once been unknown and discarded became such a terrifying presence. But the truth was still the same—no one dared speak to him for fear of the consequences.
But the young general was now seventeen. The knots in his heart had long been freed by the freedom of the cold northern winds. His favorite feeling was riding on the back of his horse. He loved seeing the bright stars, blanketing the night skies. He didn’t mind the cold as much anymore and preferred it over the burning heat of the capital.
It was true the young general spent his nights out in the wilderness, but it was not to kill or slaughter animals, it was just to wander and take in the calm that belonged only to nature.
The war in the border had settled down significantly since the young general took his place. On a special day, in the middle of summer, the young general broke free from the military camp and took a walk to a creek he had recently found.
As he approached the creek, in a good mood, he heard the sound of flute.
It was rare to hear the sound of music on the border, where screams and howls were more common. The delicate sound made the young general freeze. He temporarily forgot that he should be wary. He was far too entranced by such a beautiful sound.
In his daze, he hadn’t realized he had actually walked up to the person, who wore a veiled straw hat. The person looked up. A beautiful smile was what greeted him.
The woman stood and looked the young general up and down. She chuckled. “You’re very different from the rumors.”
“…The rumors?”
“People say that you’re eight feet tall, with bulging muscles and a horrific underbite. But you’re just a little pretty boy,” the woman said. She took a closer look and nodded. “Well, a little pretty boy with a bit more muscle.”
The young general flushed. It was rare for anyone to speak to him in such a casual manner. For a moment, he was unsure of what to do.
“Say, child, do you believe in Fate?”
The word caused the young general’s expression to sour. He scoffed and turned away. “I don’t.”
“Why not?”
“Because if I do…won’t they all be right?” the young general asked, his gaze darkening.
If Fate were real, then won’t he really die at the border? His body would not be collected and all the glory he earned would fade to dust. He would die and his body would be thrown into an unmarked grave. He would die unknown, just like how he came into the world.
This type of feeling…the young general detested it.
“But it’s real.”
The young general’s gaze flashed. A sword was suddenly pointed to the woman’s slender neck. Instead of the usual fear that came with such a threat, the woman simply chuckled.
“Did you make this sword?”
“…What?”
“Your aura is all over it,” the woman said. She even lifted her veil to get a better lip. “As expected, you have talent.”
“Who are you?” the young general asked, an uncomfortable feeling bubbling in his chest.
“Me? I’m your fated shizun.”
“What?”
“Child, have you ever thought about breaking free from your shackles? Wouldn’t it be better to leave every day, unfettered from the responsibilities of those who don’t even care for you?”
The young general’s gaze darkened. His grip on his sword tightened and he refused to say a word. If he said yes to all these things, wouldn’t he be easily marked as a traitor?
The woman chuckled. She held out a hand.
The young general watched as a sword appeared from thin air. His eyes widened and he took a step back. Before he could register what had happened, the woman struck him.
The young general twisted, managing to only narrowly avoid the woman’s strike. The two danced around each other, but dissatisfaction grew in the young general’s heart. He gritted his teeth in irritation and charged for the woman, finally knocking her sword from her hand. But his irritation was not satiated.
“You’re playing with me!” the young general shouted.
The woman chuckled. “I wanted to test your aptitude. You’re a good seedling.”
“You are you!?” the young general snarled.
“I’m not from around here,” the woman said. “I’m actually from the continent over.”
The young general’s wide eyes betrayed his shock. “The…continent over?”
“That’s right. I’m a cultivator.”
“Cultivation and magical practices are not allowed in this kingdom,” the young general said coldly.
“Is that so? But what can I do? I took a look at the stars and found that you are my destined disciple,” the woman said, leisurely sitting up despite the sword held at her neck. She smiled at the young general. “What do you say? I can tell you don’t have any loyalty to this kingdom anyway. In fact, you dislike them for how frivolous they are. You want to run away, don’t you? Come with me. I’ll bring you to a place that will grant you true freedom.”
The young general’s blade wavered.
“I’ll give you some time to think,” the woman said. “After all, I won’t be the one getting older.”
The answer came faster than both would have considered.
On a night after the young general’s victory, his wine had been laced with poison. Despite knowing the dangers, the young general drank it anyway. When he was wavering between life and death, the soldiers who were sent over by the crowned prince gathered his body and tossed him into the river.
The river was cold and the torrents were vicious. If it weren’t for the mysterious woman, the young general would have definitely died.
As he shivered from the poison and the river, his fingers tightly wound around her sleeve. “S-Shizun…”
The woman’s eyes widened in pleasant surprise. Her beautiful laugh filled the night sky and she sighed, carrying the young general on her back. “Well, since you’ve called me your shizun, I can’t just let my precious disciple die! Let’s go! This place has nothing left for us.”
The year the young general died was the same year a young man of no origin joined Xiu Meilan’s tutelage. Because he turned twenty that year, Xiu Meilan graciously gave him the given name “Xiewen” and brought this disciple of hers to travel across the various continents.
Although Tian Xiewen had started cultivation rather late, he caught up with his peers by the time he was fifty. His appearance stayed youthful, like that of someone in his mid-twenties. He had a dashing appearance, with one smile that would enchant any young man or woman. Seeing him like this, Xiu Meilan couldn’t help but shake her head. That little grumpy child from that year had already grown into such a charming man. With how many hearts that would be broken, she felt that she had made a grave mistake.
But Tian Xiewen was not what she expected. Although he still spoke like a soldier, his nature was gentle. He dedicated most of his time to forging weapons the cultivating.
If it hadn’t been for Xiu Meilan’s coaxing, Tian Xiewen would rarely leave their shared home.
“Shizun, where are you taking me?” Tian Xiewen asked, his face full of reluctance.
“To throw you away.”
The one sentence shocked Tian Xiewen to the core. “What!? Shizun, what have I done wrong? I cultivated as I should and listened to your every word. Why are you abandoning this disciple?”
“The problem is you listen too well. You’re cute like this, but it rather feels like you’re not really living are you?” Xiu Meilan said, with a long sigh. “From today forward, you are not to call me shizun anymore.
“But—”
“We’re here.”
Tian Xiewen looked up. His blood ran cold as he turned back to Xiu Meilan. “This…this is a brothel?”
“Precisely! Here, you’ll meet someone who will teach you how to have fun.”
“Wh—”
Tian Xiewen was dragged into a room and shoved inside. Before he could even make heads or tails of the situation, the door creaked open. He sat up abruptly and watched as the doors slowly closed. A person slowly walked from behind the silk screen.
It was the first time Tian Xiewen knew what it meant to have his breath stolen away.
The person wore multiple layers of clothing, but nothing seemed to hide their soft, jade-like skin. Their eyes were covered by a layer of silk and they walked gracefully, as if their feet were skimming over the clouds of the Ninth-Layer of Heaven.
In his trance, Tian Xiewen hadn’t noticed when this person had climbed onto him. He found himself reclining as the person’s soft hands began to undo his belt.
“Um—!”
A pleasant chuckle interrupted Tian Xiewen’s words. The person laid down on his chest, their lips pressing against Tian Xiewen’s ear.
“Are you nervous, Young Master?”
“I…”
How was one to describe this voice? A man’s voice? No. It felt too feminine. But feminine wasn’t enough to describe it. It tickled his ear and made his heart race. Gender obviously didn’t matter to this person. They couldn’t be described with the few words the human vocabulary contained. They were the warm sand in the end of summer; the cool autumn breeze, tugging at your clothes; the feeling of watching the first snow; the first flower to bloom in the spring.
“Young Master?” the tempting voice sounded again as soft lips tickled his neck. “Young Master, if you don’t want to continue, I won’t be offended. It’s whatever you are comfortable with.”
“I’m…I’m not familiar…”
“It’s okay,” the person said. Tian Xiewen shuddered at the feeling of the person smiling against his bare skin. “I can teach you.”
What followed was a feeling Tian Xiewen chased countless nights after. With a different partner and in different places, he could never find the same feeling, but he almost felt ashamed to return to that brothel. Had he been too rough? It was his first time, so he had been inexperienced. If he hurt such a person, he would feel as if he had committed the gravest of sins.
His life continued in this turbulent way for another few years when, one day, Xiu Meilan truly left him.
It was thundering at the time.
Xiu Meilan had been chasing after a case of a horrendous beast. The master and disciple had been trapped into a corner. Tian Xiewen had blocked one too many blows. His arm was on the verge of falling off. His own blood obscured his vision, that had long gone hazy. His hand tightly gripped his sword. He wanted to pull Xiu Meilan away, but the woman stood in front of him, as tall and strong as she had always been.
“A-Nian.”
Tian Xiewen froze at the sound of his birth name. He shakily rose his head.
“If…Shizun doesn’t come back for you, you continue to live a good life, okay?” Xiu Meilan said, her voice shaking.
Tian Xiewen’s eyes began to ache. He forced himself forward but was thrown back by a frantic burst of spiritual energy. He felt coils of string wrap around him, keeping him tied to a tree.
He couldn’t see what happened next, but he had his guesses.
Xiu Meilan had left, drawing the beast away from him. No matter how long he shouted, how hard he thrashed, or how much he cried, the woman didn’t return.
About two days later, the rope around him loosened and fell to the floor. Along with them, Tian Xiewen crumbled as well.
His tears wordlessly hit the forest ground.
The rope loosened by itself. Xiu Meilan didn’t return for him.
The one, remaining person who cared for him was gone.
Tian Xiewen didn’t know how long had passed. He laid on the ground in a puddle of his own blood and sighed.
He wanted to get up, but he couldn’t. Everything felt heavy. He was tired.
Life, that had just gotten brighter, seemed dull again.
It was like he was back at the border, when he was just ten-years-old. There was no one to look after him and no one to care for his wounds. He wanted to tell someone he was in pain, but he knew no one would listen.
He knew he was pathetic, but he couldn’t help it. He closed his eyes, almost as if he were resigning to fate, when he heard footsteps stop in front of him.
“Are you dead?”
The words were harsh, but it stirred an ironic laugh from Tian Xiewen’s chest.
“He’s not dead,” a soft voice spoke. “Fan Yi, I told you, didn’t I?”
“I suppose not,” the man, supposedly named Fan Yi, crouched down beside Tian Xiewen. “If you’re not dead, then why are you still laying here?”
Tian Xiewen forced his eyes open. He looked at the two hazy figures in front of him and frowned.
“He’s injured,” the person with the soft voice knelt beside Tian Xiewen. “He’s poisoned as well. Of course, he can’t get up.”
“I wasn’t asking you,” Fan Yi said. “I was asking him.”
Tian Xiewen’s brows furrowed.
“I don’t have any use for someone who doesn’t want to live,” Fan Yi said harshly.
“Of course, he wants to live,” the soft voiced person spoke again.
Tian Xiewen felt a pair of warm hands gently hold his face. His head tilted and his eyes widened as he looked at the familiar strip of silk cloth that sat over the person’s eyes.
The person’s brows furrowed. “You want to live, don’t you?”
“I…”
“Don’t you?” they asked, with a bit more urgency.
Tian Xiewen’s grip on the person’s wrist tightened. It made the person flinch, but they remained unmoving as they waited for Tian Xiewen’s answer.
“I…want to live.”
Now I can see why Wu Lingtian is such a perfect fit with these three. Fan Yi found them all in the same condition and they all made the same choice. I wonder exactly what Ren Yuzhou and Tian Xiewen thought when they took Wu Lingtian from the cave. Still my favorite start to a story ❤️
i’m glad someone noticed the intention hehe thanks for reading!
ʕっ•ᴥ•ʔっ wanting to live…. agh so good