For a second, Wen Xuan practically wanted to slap Jian Yi awake. However, when he lifted his hand, he thought for a moment and then put it back down again.
Because Wen Xuan suddenly remembered one thing. A thing that’s been gnawing on his heart for a long time.
The empathy parasite.
Back then, these two people suffered this empathy parasite together. Then in order to get rid of the parasite, they entered into each other’s hearts and attempted to reach the bottom of the other’s hearts. Jian Yi was very easily successful in the end. Wen Xuan, however, tried countless times but still failed. Although Wen Xuan didn’t talk about this, he still brooded on this internally all this time.
He also wanted to resolve the parasite in Jian Yi’s heart with his own strength, but even more so, he wanted to know just what that deep hidden place in Jian Yi’s heart looked like. However, when they tried last time, no matter what Wen Xuan did, Jian Yi blocked him from going in.
Now that Jian Yi was immersed in the illusion, he probably won’t have that much strength to stop Wen Xuan. This was really an opportunity bestowed by the Heavens.
Therefore, should Wen Xuan take the opportunity and attempt what he couldn’t accomplish before? This was undoubtedly taking advantage of Jian Yi. If this was before, Wen Xuan might have deliberated for quite a while. However, today was not the past. Ten years of life as a demonic beast already made Wen Xuan’s behavior and conduct change quite a bit from the past. Not to mention, taking advantage of other people was something that Jian Yi did plenty himself back then.
Mere moments later, Wen Xuan laughed mockingly at himself, then leaned down and pressed his forehead against Jian Yi’s forehead.
Back then when they first attempted to resolve the empathy parasite, they spent quite the effort to make the medicine that would make the connection. And back then, that medicine to connect the two was already swallowed into their stomachs. Now, ten years later, no other preparation was necessary. Pressing foreheads together was enough.
Very quickly, Wen Xuan felt his vision turn blurry. Then, the light gradually faded and darkness appeared before his eyes. Wen Xuan lit up a light in the darkness, shining on the road before him– as expected, it was still that narrow and small road he hadn’t seen in a long time.
This road in Jian Yi’s heart was still full of Wen Xuan’s images that covered the two walls on the side.
After a careful examination, Wen Xuan discovered that this road was subtly different from the last time. The images on the two walls were even more abundant, filled with images of the two people’s interactions later. There were images of Wen Xuan’s demonic beast appearance mixed in too. However, this road was even narrower and smaller than before. Wen Xuan walked down this path, taking note of every little change in this place as he passed, sighing repeatedly.
Then, he finally stopped, turned and faced an image-covered wall.
Wen Xuan knew that this road and these walls were only the topmost layer of Jian Yi’s heart. As for that broad vast space deep inside Jian Yi’s heart, it’s actually all blocked outside of this path.
Wen Xuan reached out a hand, palm caressing the wall.
The last time that he came, he once repeatedly recited his desire to see more. This time, however, he didn’t say a word. Only silently pressing his palm against the wall. Then silently squeezing inside. Although quiet and calm, the strength that he utilized wasn’t any less than before. Clenching his jaw tightly, sweat gradually gathering on his forehead, Wen Xuan’s eyes were filled with staunch determination for success.
He finally squeezed through the wall once again and reached that vast and deep darkness.
This time there won’t be anything to stop him. Wen Xuan took a deep breath, one hand summoning light, the other hand summoning the wind. Very quickly, the breeze blew away the black fog before his eyes. The space finally revealed a splash of white.
Wen Xuan increased the breeze and dissipated the black fog even more. The white that was revealed spread. However, no matter how much the black fog disappeared, the only thing that Wen Xuan could see ultimately was white all over.
Right now, Jian Yi didn’t have any strength to interrupt him. The empty and bare whiteness that he saw at the moment could only prove that at the bottom of Jian Yi’s heart, this empty whiteness was all that’s there to it.
A moment later, Wen Xuan put away his surprise and started to walk forward. The space seemed endless and without boundaries. The black fog seemed infinite. Wen Xuan summoned a breeze that followed his side. Wherever he went, the black fog was cleansed to allow him to see the view before his eyes.
This black fog wasn’t interference placed by Jian Yi. It was something that was present in Jian Yi’s heart already.
As Wen Xuan walked more and more, he saw even more empty white space. But occasionally, he’d find some other things. For example, the same kind of spotlessly white wall. For example, a red cross sign. For example, a certain kind of hard to describe pungent smell.
This pungent smell evoked a tiny corner in Wen Xuan’s memories. That was many years ago, when this empathy parasite was just placed into the two people’s bodies. Because their hearts were abruptly connected that time, Wen Xuan once saw a certain room in that brief instant. That room was also this same kind of pure white, which contained many of the things that appeared now. The same kind of pungent smell that assaulted his senses. Back then, Wen Xuan once suspected that what he saw was a place that Jian Yi stayed at. Presently, this assumption seemed even more likely.
The room that Wen Xuan saw back then wasn’t actually this big. Perhaps this was the result of the actual size of that room being expanded countless times in this vast space inside Jian Yi’s heart.
Although big, it’s empty and monotonous.
Wen Xuan couldn’t even keep track of how long he’s been walking. Finally, something else appeared before his eyes out of the black fog.
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
At the same time, Wen Xuan suddenly felt a tiny jolt inside.
Ktlr kjr atf fwqjats qjgjrlaf lcrlvf Aljc Tl’r tfjga.
Ktlr qjgjrlaf tlv lc atf vffqfra qjga bo Aljc Tl’r tfjga. Qfc Wejc kbeiv bcis offi j gfjmalbc ys ufaalcu mibrf ab la. Rbk atja tf ofia atlr offilcu, la qgbnfv atja ktja Qfc Wejc kjcafv ab rff kjr gluta yfobgf tlr fsfr.
Wen Xuan unconsciously increased his pace and completely dispersed the black fog before him, revealing clearly the thing that was hidden inside.
This was a white colored bed. The appearance of the bed was very strange. The head and foot of the bed were made of metal, like those strange equipment that Wen Xuan saw before.
On the bed lay a person.
A youth.
Wen Xuan’s heart unconsciously jumped violently. He had to stand still for a moment to steady his breathing. Then, he finally walked close and shined the light in his hand on the youth’s face.
The youth’s face was very familiar. It was Jian Yi.
Although this wasn’t the body that Jian Yi was currently using, for Jian Yi to travel here from another world and end up in the body of that other mentally delayed Jian Yi, clearly it wasn’t a coincidence. No matter the appearance or name, it was all the same.
Wen Xuan looked at the familiar face of this youth, raised a hand, and unconsciously trembled briefly.
Because this face was exceptionally pale white, exceptionally thin and emaciated. Really. Although this was a familiar face, Wen Xuan has never seen Jian Yi look so weak. This thin and emaciated appearance was so unfamiliar that Wen Xuan practically didn’t dare to acknowledge it.
It was hard to believe. Was this really his Jian shidi?
But this was the center of Jian Yi’s heart. The presence of the parasite emitted from inside the body of the youth before his eyes. This was the deepest part of Jian Yi’s heart. There’s no way to think otherwise.
Both of the youth’s eyes opened. However, they didn’t see Wen Xuan at all. There was nothing in the youth’s eyes, just emptiness. Clearly he was alive, yet he looked as if he were dead.
So this was what Jian Yi concealed desperately? A past that he’d rather die than let Wen Xuan see?
Wen Xuan touched the youth’s body through the blankets. As expected, it was also thin and emaciated, practically a bag of bones. Wen Xuan’s heart couldn’t help but sink.
However, mere moments later, he lifted his hand and touched the youth’s forehead. Finally reaching here after all this trouble, no matter what he was going to see, he needed to see more.
Sending a strand of divine sense inside, very quickly, many images reflected into Wen Xuan’s head.
In these images there were many things that Wen Xuan had never seen before and had no way of understanding. However, this didn’t prevent him from learning about the youth’s life in that world.
Jian Yi’s family was indeed well off. His father and mother loved each other mutually. In that world, the Jian family was rather reputable, wealthy and powerful locally. Father Jian and Mother Jian both were very capable people. The family business was managed well and became more prosperous with each passing day. Jian Yi who was born in this kind of family background should have lived a life without worries for basic necessities, received a favorable education, and achieved meteoric success in life.
However, nothing is perfect in life. Jian Yi had a congenital disease at birth. No matter how much money was spent, it couldn’t be cured. Ever since he was little, he lived in the hospital, practically unable to walk on his own two feet and could only look at the outside world through the bedside window.
At the beginning of these years, despite all of this, Jian Yi was his parent’s precious darling.
Even when work was busy, his parents would still accompany him always. They’d sit by the bedside to tell him stories about all of the wonderful things in the world. They’d comfort him with limitless patience, telling him: he will definitely get better. One day, he’ll be able to walk out of that pure white room on his own two feet and see all of the beautiful views of the world.
During his birthdays, his parents would both take the day off. No matter what grave and important issues the company faced that day, they wouldn’t care. All of this was just to rush to Jian Yi’s side, bring a cake, light up candles, sing a birthday song and kiss Jian Yi’s face to tell him, papa and mama will love you forever.
These kinds of beautiful and warm images were bountiful in Jian Yi’s memories, too many to count and easily found. They perfectly depicted a happy and blessed family and a pair of parents that loved their child deeply. However, when Wen Xuan watched these scenes in Jian Yi’s heart and felt the emotions transmitted by Jian Yi through all of this, Wen Xuan couldn’t feel any warmth or love at all, only hate.
Later, Jian Yi gradually grew bigger. His illness still didn’t have any hope for treatment. The time that his parents spent to accompany him was also not as frequent as the beginning. However, at this time, Jian Yi still believed that this was only because the company became busier. His parents still loved him.
The proof could be seen every year on his birthday, they’d still throw aside everything to rush to his side. Even when they weren’t present, they continued to care about Jian Yi, constantly discussing Jian Yi’s progress with the doctor. Through those doctors and nurses, they transferred their concerns to Jian Yi.
In order to avoid Jian Yi thinking randomly in his boredom, they brought many books for Jian Yi. Also after getting the doctor’s permission, they specifically set up a computer for Jian Yi for his entertainment.
It was probably around that time that Jian Yi saw a certain cultivation novel and encountered Wen Xuan for the first time. The original novel wasn’t actually written with Wen Xuan as the main character, and only mentioned casually about Wen Xuan’s experience to set up the plot of a huge event to follow. It criticized Wen Xuan as a person who abandoned righteousness. However, with Jian Yi’s special sensitivity, he still noticed how Wen Xuan appeared in full glory at first and gradually landed in such circumstances.
At that time, the opinion he had towards Wen Xuan was: Wow, how tragic.
Then when Jian Yi was about ten years old, his mother became pregnant with a little brother for Jian Yi. At that time, Jian Yi’s mother stroked her stomach, smiling happily and glowing in appearance. In his memories, she still remained so dazzling.
Jian Yi’s parents told Jian Yi. The reason why they’re having this little brother was so his little brother could go deal with the exhausting and tiring business of working at the company in the future. Their most precious child ultimately would still be Jian Yi.
After that, the little brother was born. He was a healthy and cute infant. The parents carried the little brother over to visit Jian Yi. However, Jian Yi didn’t even have a chance to feel delighted over becoming an older brother when he noticed that the gaze that his parents used to look at his little brother was not the same gaze they used to look at him. Such difference. Jian Yi, who had never despaired before because of his illness, for the first time felt his heart turn cold. It was like falling into a river of ice, the coldness penetrating the heart and soul.
Sometimes Jian Yi would hate himself for being so sensitive about this kind of thing. Then thinking again, this kind of thing, even if he didn’t become aware of it at that time, he would have figured it out eventually. Even though he was his parent’s first child, no matter how much his parents loved him before, it still couldn’t overcome the fact that this little brother of his was healthy.
Jian Yi once held a hope that despite this fact, his place in his parents’ heart wouldn’t be so easily changed.
However the truth was hard to dispute. A newly born infant can always occupy the parent’s complete time and energy. Inside the small single room in that hospital, Jian Yi went from being visited on schedule everyday at first to finally becoming of no interest to anyone.
As Jian Yi passed his first birthday alone, he casually picked up that novel and read it again.
At this time, his opinion towards Wen Xuan was: tsk tsk, this person was even more tragic than me.
That’s right. Thinking back, the reason that Jian Yi would remember this character in the first place was only because of how tragic he was. Yet at the same time, that wasn’t all. What Jian Yi had discovered was that this kind of thought comforted him a lot. Therefore, he went on to find even more novels and read about many similarly tragic characters. However, none of them were like Wen Xuan who clearly wasn’t particularly impressionable at first, yet always managed to pop up randomly in Jian Yi’s thoughts.
Yet when did his opinion of Wen Xuan change from ‘more tragic than me’ to ‘just as tragic as me’? Jian Yi really couldn’t remember.
A few days later, Jian Yi’s parents asked the doctor to bring him a message. They apologized to Jian Yi, telling him that his little brother had somewhat of a fever because of a cold. That’s why they were unable to make it that day. Now that his little brother’s fever has gone down, he’s still a bit unwell. So they need to spend more time taking care of the little brother.
When Jian Yi saw his parents again, it was already two months later. Jian Yi’s illness turned for the worse. He took a trip to the gates of death. When he woke up, he heard his parents weeping outside. When the doctor finally let his parents inside, his parents immediately flew to his bedside, crying so hard they couldn’t even speak. Jian Yi, however, only looked at the little brother that was carried in his mother’s arms and thought rather complacently: my place hasn’t been replaced yet.
His parents guarded by Jian Yi’s bedside for many days, yet it was still only these days. Everything gradually returned to the usual.
In order to see his parents more, Jian Yi has pulled out the IV on his arms before and also closed the beeping machines by his side. His illness repeatedly worsened and he laid in critical care again and again. This trick worked for a total of half a year. Then, his parents finally had enough.
Finally after Jian Yi came back from the gates of death and saw his parents again, his parent’s faces no longer had the usual sorrow and concern and were only filled with impatience and anger.
His parents pointed at him and yelled at him severely, then instructed the doctor to restrain both of his hands.
From then onward, Jian Yi was not only unable to use his feet, he was unable to use his hands. When his parents finally believed that he’d be obedient, and made a phone call to tell the doctor to undo the restraints, the muscles of Jian Yi’s arms had already atrophied. He could no longer lift his arms anymore.
Despite all this, Jian Yi’s illness continued to worsen. Every year, he’d walk the gates of death 2-3 times. However, ever since then, his parents never came to visit.
Until his little brother reached kindergarten age, remembered he still had an older brother, and took the initiative to come see him.
The family of three once again appeared before Jian Yi, full of happiness and bliss, in harmony and peace. His little brother grew up very well. He was lively and cute, very smart and clever. One glance was enough to make people like this good kid. He leaned by Jian Yi’s bedside, inquiring about Jian Yi’s well-being earnestly. His parents watched on behind him with smiles on their faces, expressions full of pride for this child.
Jian Yi looked at his little brother’s innocent face and only thought, if he could move his both hands, he would definitely grab this person by the neck and choke him to death.
This was really a very terrifying and twisted thought. But who cares?
Ultimately, Jian Yi could only lay in this hospital bed for the rest of his life.
He has already been completely replaced. No one cared about him. No one had a place in their heart for him. When his little brother left, Jian Yi heard him say to his parents at the door: “Big brother is so unfortunate.” Jian Yi only wanted to sneer.
Time continued to turn nonstop. Jian Yi laid there, looking at the pure white ceiling. He couldn’t even read novels anymore and can only repeatedly recall some segments. Wen Xuan was the character that he reminisced the most. He didn’t even know why. Perhaps because Wen Xuan was tragic. Or perhaps Wen Xuan really had characteristics that touched him.
It was probably in this repeated remembrance that Wen Xuan became carved more and more deeply into his heart. He started to fill in the complete life of this character according to his analysis of the original content of the novel. This wasn’t an easy task. The stories that he made up always had some difference than the truth. Therefore, he asked the nurses to recite that novel next to his ears, confirming incessantly with the original novel, relentlessly altering and fixing the story that he had made up until it was as close as possible to the real thing.
Sometimes Jian Yi felt: how foolish, this character was really too foolish.
But even more so, Jian Yi felt that for someone to be this foolish really wasn’t an easy thing.
Clearly Wen Xuan treated everyone genuinely from start to finish, yet ultimately, he was hurt by everyone in return. In the end, no one in the world remembered anything good about this character. This character’s past glory and all that he invested were forgotten. His position in everyone’s hearts was replaced by the people who came afterwards, with nothing left behind. Passing away all by his lonesome. How similar was this to Jian Yi himself?
When Jian Yi finally completed filling in the entire life story of this character, it was right before the last time he entered critical care.
After experiencing this two to three times a year, Jian Yi was already used to it. Even as he wandered around before death’s door, he still thought about that character and thought about the story that he had completed. He never did anything so diligently before. Even if this thing had absolutely no meaning, it made him feel extraordinarily satisfied.
It wasn’t until Jian Yi suddenly woke up from his unconsciousness and looked at everything in the world with a clearer view than ever before that he abruptly realized, this was really the very last time. He looked at the numbers on the machinery next to his side and confirmed that he was really about to die. He heard the nurses talking outside, discussing what kind of patient would be admitted into the soon to be emptied room.
Just look. Even his place in that tiny little hospital room that he lived all of his life was ultimately going to be replaced by someone else.
He should just close his eyes and welcome his end peacefully. This was a long expected thing after all. Something preordained at birth. There was no second option waiting for him. It was only a matter of sooner or later.
At a time like this, who knew where his parents were. However, what did that matter? He hasn’t been in his parents’ hearts for a long time.
Despite thinking all this, Jian Yi felt tears roll down the corner of his eyes, wetting the hair next to his ears.
He couldn’t accept this.
This kind of life, he couldn’t accept.
This kind of unimportant, dispensable life where no matter what, he’d be replaced by others, he couldn’t accept.
He couldn’t accept, he couldn’t accept, he couldn’t accept, he couldn’t accept, he couldn’t accept……
“Do you want to obtain a new chance at life?” Suddenly an old man’s voice appeared out of nowhere.
Jian Yi opened his eyes wide, looking at the old man that suddenly appeared before his eyes. He didn’t have time to ponder on how the old man entered. The other’s words immediately grabbed his attention.
“I can travel between time and space. And you can help me complete my experiment.” The old man said: “As long as you agree, I can give you a new life. I can even let you choose what world you want to be born in.”
Obtain a new chance at life? What’s the point of obtaining a new chance at life? Would that change anything? No. That person. At least that person would need him. Because that person was the same as him, surrounded by people who can only end up harming them. He wanted to meet that person, wanted to go to that person’s side. He wanted to help that person break away from that tragic destiny. Because this was something that only he could do. Other than him, no one else could save that person. The one and only, unable to be replaced.
That’s right. Unable to be replaced. As long as they remained at each other’s sides, neither would be replaced. That person wouldn’t be able to find anyone to replace him and he also definitely wouldn’t betray him like all those other people.
Jian Yi suddenly grabbed onto this thought, like grabbing onto the last saving straw.
He agreed to the old man’s conditions, impatiently and without regrets.
In that instant, Jian Yi’s soul completely disappeared from that world. This originally almost extinguished soul was snatched up by the old man and thrown into the world that Jian Yi wanted to go to.
Wen Xuan heard the last sound that soul let out. That voice was very loud, filling Jian Yi’s entire heart.
—I arrived in this world for you. I want to save you.
However, what Wen Xuan also heard in the depth of this loud voice was actually a tinier, smaller voice that said something else.
—I want. To be saved. By you.
Thank You for the chapter (•‾⌣‾•)و ̑̑♡
Dor…
Quando eu terminar essa novela, vou precisar de terapia… Nada de novo sob o sol
That last line made me cry 😭
Thank you for the wonderful chapter
Also this explains why he has no problem with trying to kill that baby earlier, probably triggered some memories
I am already reading while crying since the last chapter… This is the 2nd novel that ever made me cry in all these years of my reading BL novel… The first one was Heaven’s Official Blessing..m
Am I the only one that feels like Wen Xuan is a naive asshole… 😒😒😒
Asshole? No naive? Yes
Very naive but the same goes for J only he was wrapped up in so much darkness even before he went to the other world. He was wounded and it just kept spreading and never healing. I’m crying so much because it’s really something that could happen in real life! How horrid. He lost his legs and then his arms were taken away from him . I know it’s a novel but the doctor should have done something and his parents. If something like this ever happens to me. I’m signing of on assisted death.
I dont think I’d use naive to describe j. Given everything, he just wanted love from his parents which is completely normal. Instead, I’d describe him as cynical due to his lost faith in his family resulting in him basically trusting no one.
I see what you mean since naivety can develop from lack of life experience. For some reason, despite that, I just dont get the feeling that hes very naive. But ur right. He assumes everyone will betray him bc of his family and the book, while wx is just pure hearted and more willing to give chances bc he hadn’t experience any betrayal initially. The part that makes me think hes much more naive is that he still was hopeful after multiple betrayals instead of learning right away.
yeah WX is definitely like that sometimes I think the way he was so ready to forgive after being betrayed numerous times played a part in how extreme J became! it felt like he just kept thinking ( what can I do to make u understand u shouldn’t be so willing to put ur faith in those who betrayed u) but yeah the story was just filled with so much even though its was pretty short
🙁
Fckkkkkk, why this is happenings 🥲😭
This chapter was beyond tragic and rly sheds light on of how jian yi is. His possessiveness is especially understandable now. The sad thing is that I’m sure ppl irl have suffered as he had.
Don’t mind my ugly sobbing 😭
Omggg yeeessss 😭😭😭😭😭
JY’s life was tragic indeed, still doesn’t negate the fact that he’s crazy. In all of WX’s sufferings and disappointments he still never once used it as an excuse to kill indiscriminately or become completely blackened.
Okay… I’m crying
So it was also a cry for help from Jian Yi too 🥺
These poor babies 😭
This is so sad :'(
I also can’t help but feel injustice for WX. That, even despite all of the times he had been wronged, he still wants to save JY. But he wouldn’t be WX if he didn’t have this type of self-sacrificial nature, or always wanting to give people a second chance. He’s an amazing person and I can only appreciate him for everything that he does. I can only just hope thar JY would recognize that and change for the better to treat him properly in the future and not as some sort of possession for him to lock up.
I want. To be saved. By you.
OMG THOSE THREE SENTENCES ARE KILLING ME
So the whole time, it was a cry for help? Smh, poor baby. You need to communicate your needs better sigh 🥺