The performance of the band became more and more exciting. Although there was a band in the circus, there were more musicians here, and they seemed to be better dressed and more skilled. People chattered loudly but swayed their bodies to the music. The sky seemed to be celebrating the newlyweds, and the weather was quite pleasant. A man who looked like the bride’s father, stroking his well-groomed mustache, continuously greeted and welcomed guests. There was hardly any space left in the spacious garden. Most of the guests seemed to be Italian-Americans, and Italian was as common as English. However, Sixx didn’t speak a word of Italian, unintentionally ignoring some guests’ requests, but he thought it would be fine since there were many other waiters.
How much time had passed? Suddenly, cheers erupted from the crowd. The bride, dazzling in a gorgeous white dress, and the groom, dashing in a white suit, emerged amidst enthusiastic welcomes. Both of them had smiles on their faces like just-married couples. “Dance! Dance!” people shouted with their mouths gathered. The groom shrugged as if he had no choice and took the gloved hand of the bride. And so, they began to twirl around the center of the garden. At first glance, it seemed like a simple dance, but Sixx was amazed at how they never stepped on each other’s feet.
“Oops!”
Someone bumped into Sixx’s shoulder, causing the lone champagne glass on his tray to wobble precariously in the air. It would be a disaster if it broke. He urgently reached out, but a large hand from above grabbed the glass first. Then, the transparent liquid flowed into the man’s mouth without a drop left.
“Malon?”
“Shh, quiet.”
Seizing the opportunity when everyone’s attention was elsewhere, Malon suddenly appeared and pulled Sixx behind a large oak tree. Thanks to him, they were shielded from the gazes of the crowd. Caught off guard, Sixx could only stutter. He took out a cigarette from his pocket and said to Sixx.
“Hey, don’t work too hard. You’re not even getting paid.”
“But I don’t have a choice…”
“I told you to slack off a bit. No finesse.”
Rather than arguing against Sixx’s non-argument, Malon chuckled and blew out smoke. Suddenly, everything felt like a dream to Sixx, so he pinched his cheek. The band’s fantastic performance, the splendidly dressed guests, the flood of unfamiliar Italian, and Malon Cage, looking more perfect than ever with a small bow tie and a tray snugly in his arms. Could it all be so unreal? As he stared blankly, Malon snapped him out of it.
“Sixx, listen carefully. See that clock over there?”
Following his finger, he saw a large grandfather clock adorned with what seemed to be imitation ivy and a white ribbon, nestled in a corner of the garden. The clock hands pointed to 2:27.
“Yes.”
“When it strikes 3 o’clock, come to the gray building back there without being seen by anyone.”
“Do you mean the building at the end?”
“Yeah. I’ll be waiting, so don’t be late.”
With that, just like when Malon appeared, he suddenly left. As soon as he stepped out of the tree’s shadow, someone approached him immediately. Sixx’s heart raced again. However, fearing a reprimand for holding an empty tray for too long, Sixx hurried back to the kitchen. He wished it were already 3 o’clock. Despite there being only about thirty minutes left, time seemed to crawl like a snail from the moment he made the promise with Malon.
Sixx busily served food and drinks. The groom disappeared somewhere, and now the bride’s father and the bride were holding hands and dancing. Guests watched the couple with approving glances. However, among them, there was one man who caught Sixx’s eye. He didn’t do anything particularly noticeable, but Sixx couldn’t ignore the man who looked so much like Malon yet completely different at the same time. This man, who had lived about twenty years longer than Malon, clapped along cheerfully with the others. However, perhaps due to the faint traces of unease remaining on his face, he didn’t seem as relaxed as the other guests. That man must be Antonio Cage… Sixx recalled the name he had heard earlier. Malon’s father…
“Hello?”
While completely absorbed in Antonio Cage, someone grabbed Sixx’s wrist.
“Wow, didn’t expect to see you here.”
It was Luca Pellegrino, as expected. He smirked down at Sixx with a mocking gaze. Sixx, who usually avoided such people, was so preoccupied with Antonio Cage that he didn’t notice Luca approaching. It wasn’t entirely unexpected, but being caught off guard felt frustrating.
“Let go of my hand.”
“Haha, no. It’s fun. Bringing you all the way here, Brother…”
The grip on his wrist tightened. Although it hurt as if his wrist would snap, Sixx couldn’t ask anyone for help rashly since it would only complicate matters. Checking the clock, there were only a few minutes left until it struck the hour. I had to go meet Malon… Sixx clenched his fist in anxiety. Luca looked around, then hmmed, protruding his lower lip.
“Isn’t my brother here? Where is he?”
“I don’t know either.”
“You must have come with him.”
“…I said I don’t know.”
“Well, everyone likes my brother, so he’s probably been dragged somewhere again. He attracts all sorts of flies, my brother. Despite the scent of blood, there’s always someone by his side.”
Sixx forcefully shook off the man who rambled on. Unexpectedly, he let go easily. Scratching the bruised marks on his wrist, he glared at him. He didn’t yield either. Instead of grabbing Sixx again, he smirked mockingly. Kids these days. His eyes said as much.
“Don’t get too cocky, alright? Just because you wear slightly nicer clothes doesn’t change your background. You’ll still give yourself away with every action and word. Do you really think a hat like this will make a difference, huh?”
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
He patted Sixx’s head. It felt unpleasant. Although it was a hat meant to hide conspicuously white hair, it was still something Malon had given. His touch was discomforting.
“Lbk ibcu vb sbe atlcx ws ygbatfg klii vbaf bc sbe? Mbgfnfg? Yg klii tf kjla ecali sbe ugbk eq?”
Qbgvr ogbw Oemj’r wbeat xfqa qbxlcu ja ws cfgnfr. Ufgtjqr yfmjerf atfs kfgfc’a fcalgfis ecagef, atfs aklrafv ws pevuwfca fnfc wbgf. P rijqqfv jkjs atf wjc’r tjcv bc ws tfjv. Efujgvifrr bo atf ageat, atfgf kjr cb gfjrbc obg wf ab tfjg remt kbgvr. P cffvfv ab yf olgwfg ab qert tlw jkjs. Yatfgklrf, P kbeiv pera kjraf wbgf alwf. P kjcafv ab wffa Zjibc delmxis.
“Luca, you have nothing to do with us.”
“What? What did you just say?”
Luca’s eyes flashed. He seemed crazy. I had thought so before, but with emotions changing in split seconds, it was hard to gauge the tipping point. He approached swiftly. I tried to step back, but bumped into the crowd. Haha… Like a giant looming over, he reached out towards Sixx.
“Nothing to do? As his younger brother, do I have nothing to do with you?”
Sixx tightly shut his eyes. If Luca were to strangle him again, would the people around help him? Maybe not. Just as Luca’s hand was about to touch Sixx, a shout came from afar.
“Luca! If you’ve come, you should greet. What are you doing there?”
Surprisingly, it was Antonio Cage who rescued Sixx from danger. Of course, it might have been an unintended consequence for him. Not knowing what was going on here, he beckoned Luca towards him as if to hurry him. Luca’s hand, about to grab Sixx’s neck, hesitated in mid-air. It seemed uncertain whether it was wise to handle Sixx in front of his father. Sixx didn’t miss the opportunity. He quickly moved out of Luca’s reach, ready to bolt if he attacked. Luca gnashed his teeth, visibly irritated by such behavior.
“You, you little―!”
“Luca! Come here quickly! Someone’s been waiting for you here since earlier!”
Antonio raised his voice again, urging his son. Sons obeyed their fathers. It was the rule of their society. Luca scowled and spat onto the grass. Turning away, he muttered under his breath.
“When we meet next time, it won’t end like this, Circus Boy.”
He headed towards his father. His figure was soon obscured by the crowd. Phew… Sixx breathed a sigh of relief. Glancing at the clock, it was already 3:07.
***
He ran until he was breathless. When he arrived, Malon Cage was there. Seeing Sixx catching his breath, Malon chuckled lightly and clicked his tongue. He hadn’t left yet, thankfully… Sixx had been anxious all the way, fearing Malon might have left first. But he didn’t seem to be in a hurry, patiently waiting for Sixx to catch his breath. As his breathing returned to normal, Sixx finally had the leisure to look around. They were in a space that could be called the backyard of the mansion. Thanks to the gray stone building behind them blocking the view between the backyard and the garden where the feast was taking place, the scenery of the garden wasn’t visible from here. In other words, they couldn’t peek at this side from the garden either. Sixx finally felt at ease. Not as much as Malon, but Sixx had been tormented by people too.
“Now, can you tell me why you were late?”
Malon’s voice carried a hint of amusement. Not much different from Luca’s, why did everything sound pleasing when this man said it? My heart was pounding dramatically. It would have been better if it was just broken.
“I, I met Luca Pellegrino…”
“That brat has already come?”
At the name that slipped from Sixx’s mouth, one of Malon’s black eyebrows twitched. He could hear him muttering curses under his breath, completely unexpected Luca’s prompt attendance.
“Yes. But I got distracted by watching people, and stupidly got caught up with him. You even warned me beforehand… It’s all my fault. I’m sorry for being late.”
“No, it’s probably Luca being a nuisance, so blaming that kid would be right. Well done.”
Malon’s hand rose above his head. He picked up Sixx’s hat and tossed it onto the grass, then ruffled his curly white hair. The grass rustled softly in the cool breeze blowing from the distant forest. It was the only thing that could be heard in the strange silence surrounding them. The tranquility that had returned after a long time felt oddly eerie. Weird. But definitely not unwelcome. Malon also didn’t seem to be in a bad mood, unlike when he was surrounded by people earlier.
“Okay. I just called you here to kill some time and then sneak away.”
“Wouldn’t other people be looking for Malon? Like… your father, for example.”
The face of the man who had been shouting his son’s name passed through Sixx’s mind.
“Well, I guess so. But, you know, it’s not my business, is it?”
He shrugged as if to say it didn’t matter anyway. I was exhausted. Just coming here fulfilled my duty as a son. With that, Sixx recalled how he had described it as ‘a cousin’s wedding untouched by a drop of blood’. Suddenly, numerous questions flooded his mind. In fact, he knew very little about Malon. Knowing the dangers of excessive curiosity, he had been suppressing his curiosity so far. However, the longer he spent with him, the more he wanted to know. Just thinking about it brought up these questions. What kind of person was he, really? A good person? A bad person? What was Antonio Cage to him? Was Luca Pellegrino really just a younger brother? Or perhaps they were close. What did he think about Sixx? Well, things like that.
In fact, he could infer some of the answers, but what he really wanted to hear from Malon’s mouth was probably born out of Sixx’s excessive greed. And when would he have the courage to ask those questions…
None of the guests had come to the backyard, but the sound of the band’s performance flowed to this secretive refuge on the wind. Suddenly, a low voice was added on top. It seemed like someone among the guests had taken the microphone. In response to a singer’s song request, the band shifted from classical to a simpler, more familiar tune. The man’s low, sweet voice slowly spread through the air beyond the garden. And soon, his song reached this backyard.
Wise men say, only fools rush in
But I can’t help falling in love with you
“Elvis Presley, huh?”
“…Do you like it?”
“Well, it’s alright.”
As he answered like that, he closed his eyes slightly, seeming to enjoy the song. Sixx watched quietly as his black eyelashes settled on his white skin. Even though it was just seeing and hearing, why did it hurt so much in his heart? While the wound on his side was healing day by day, his heart was getting stranger. It pounded loudly enough to make his ears ring, then settled down, and now it was tingling painfully again.
―Maybe he didn’t even know the reason. He just wanted to pretend not to know.
The Italian singer sings. Whether it’s okay to stay by your side, whether it’s not a sin. Yeah, maybe just staying… Sixx, who had been pondering, heard his voice falling upon his head.
“Sixx, do you know how to dance?”
“No….”
At the sudden question, Sixx shook his head. Naturally, he didn’t know how to dance. No one in the circus troupe had ever taught Sixx how to dance. Perhaps they didn’t know how to dance themselves. However, everyone here was swaying their bodies to the music, holding hands with each other and moving their feet together. It seemed very natural to them, which was extremely intriguing to Sixx. Andy had once told him that most kids learn various things when they go to school. Did everyone really learn how to dance at school? Or did they just naturally pick it up like breathing or eating? Sixx couldn’t tell.
“Well, you might get into trouble later. Girls don’t really like it if you can’t dance.”
“I-is that so…?”
“But you look decent enough, so who knows. Well, forget it. I’ll teach you.”
“Huh?”
“I’ll take the lead, so hold my hand.”
At the sudden offer of his outstretched hand, Sixx blinked in surprise. Malon flicked his fingertips as if urging him to grab them. Was he suggesting to teach him how to dance? No, it didn’t seem like a suggestion he could refuse… Sixx timidly overlapped his fingertips. Just feeling the warmth through the skin was enough to shock him. Malon chuckled at the hesitant Sixx and firmly grabbed his hand, pulling him towards him. His white shirt filled Sixx’s vision. He almost bumped his nose into his chest, but managed to regain his balance in time.
“It’s surprisingly simple. Just step to the beat. Like this. One, two, three. Yeah, like that.”
He was completely overwhelmed. Sixx didn’t even know where his own body was moving or how. He just followed Malon’s lead. Everywhere he looked, there was Malon (or a part of his body), and he couldn’t figure out where to focus his gaze. Since it seemed unlikely that his brain, which had been declaring overload for a while now, would learn to dance, he just entrusted everything to instinct. When Sixx’s foot narrowly avoided stepping on Malon’s, he chuckled softly. Be careful. That ticklish laughter flowed into Sixx’s ears. The blood pumped by his pounding heart spread throughout Sixx’s body through his veins. Feeling like he was about to sweat, Sixx bit his lip. It would have been better to just bite his tongue and die rather than see his palm, held tightly by Malon, become sticky with sweat.
“You’re doing better than I thought. You really do have a knack for using your body.”
He was lying. Sixx was a mess. His steps were tangled, his breath was ragged, his arms were awkwardly flailing, and his cheeks were probably flushing like a fool. He wished he could disappear out of embarrassment. How stupid must he look in the eyes of the adult Malon… At least he hoped his heart pounding loudly wasn’t audible. Sixx fervently prayed. A mellifluous melody resonated in Sixx’s ears.
Hurry, tell him. Hold my hand, take my life, confess that you had no choice but to love him.
The voice urged.
He raised his head. Meeting his gaze directly, it seemed like he had been looking at Sixx all along. His azure irises, shining with a chilling color more frigid than the infinite sky behind his head, seemed to hold a rare warmth. Gradually, his lips curved into a slow smile. Ah, so that’s it… He enjoys dancing with Sixx. Unable to bear it any longer, Sixx pulled his hand away. His held-back breath burst out. He bowed his head like a person who had just finished a hundred-meter sprint. It was beyond control. What he had been holding back wasn’t just his breath. He could no longer pretend to be oblivious to the emotions that seemed ready to burst out of him at any moment. Sometimes his remarkably accurate intuition seemed to predict that a presence like Malon Cage would never appear in his life again. Yes, never again. There’s only one word that can explain all this.
Love.
“Why are you like this, Sixx?”
“Oh, it’s just a bit tiring…”
“It seems like being a waiter is quite tough. I didn’t expect them to be so demanding.”
Being a waiter was fairly enjoyable. Honestly, compared to what Sixx had done before, it wasn’t even that difficult, but for now, it seemed better to let him think so.
“Oh, yeah. I have something to ask you. I was thinking of asking on the way back to the mansion, but it doesn’t matter now.”
“What is it?”
The emotions reflected in his two pupils were undoubtedly hopeful. There had never been a time when he had expectations of Sixx. Maybe that’s why. Fear subsided for a moment.
“Have you ever had any interest in a particular field? Anything’s fine. Music, art, history… It seems like using your body wouldn’t be a bad idea now that I think about it. Like ballet or dance. I’m completely clueless about that area.”
“I’ve never really thought about it, so I don’t know… But why—”
“After some consideration, I realized there’s probably no need to send you back to the circus troupe.”
“…Yes?” What came out of his mouth was completely unexpected. He didn’t understand what he was saying. Where would Sixx go if he didn’t return to the circus troupe? He had nowhere to go.
“Do you owe the ringmaster money? Or did he find some weakness in you?”
“No, it’s not that…”
“In that case, there’s no need for you to receive such treatment there. He’s the kind of guy who pushes kids like you in front of strangers while preaching about education. He won’t do that again, will he?”
“Well, that’s true, but…”
“Patrick said your complexion has improved. I don’t know how much garbage you’ve been living off of there, but Sixx, I told you. You’re a precious creature. There’s no reason for you to endure such treatment.”
“But if I don’t go back to the circus troupe, I have nowhere else to go. I don’t have a family…”
“There’s no need to go back. Just stay at my house, Sixx. Madam Isabella and the servants, including Cynthia, seem to like you subtly. The ringmaster might throw a fit, but he has no right to claim anything about you. If you think it’ll cause too much trouble, just give him some money to shut him up. He wouldn’t have thought of keeping you forever anyway; he probably just wanted to inflate your price as much as possible. You don’t want to go back there now, do you, Sixx? ”
The last statement was clearly in the form of a question, but it was more like an order. It was sudden. To leave the circus and come to his house… Of course, he didn’t particularly enjoy life at the circus. However, except for recently, he hadn’t disliked it either. It wasn’t a matter of preference. Life. It was the life given to Sixx. Unless he wanted to commit suicide, he couldn’t refuse life. So he forcibly ate the garbage that Malon judged to be trash, slept in between other members of the troupe, did odd jobs as they came, and twice a week went on stage and tore animals apart while still alive. He had to do that to survive there.
“But, Malon, I…”
Everyone has a suitable way of life. Just as Malon grew up as the son of a mafia and grew up as a mafia, Sixx was born a monster from the start. If he hadn’t been accepted by the circus troupe, he might have been beaten to death somewhere. Malon might deny it, but no matter how much he thought about it, he wasn’t a peculiar creature, let alone a precious one. If his essence didn’t change, would something change if he left the circus troupe and went to his house? Of course, it would be more than wonderful if he could stay by Malon’s side. The past few weeks had been like a dream. He had never been so happy waking up in the morning. However, the grace period would end soon. Sixx sensed that he would have to return to reality soon. If it had been the time when he had just met Malon and had been a frog trapped in a well who knew nothing about the world, he would have been delighted with his proposal. And perhaps that’s exactly what Malon expected.
But Malon didn’t know. There was no way he could know.
“Why the expression? I thought you’d be pleased.”
During the three weeks he hadn’t come to see Sixx, Malon didn’t know how much Sixx had changed. On the surface, Sixx hadn’t changed at all, and Sixx himself couldn’t pinpoint exactly what had changed. There was confusion in Malon’s voice. It hurt. Sixx also wanted to meet his expectations. He wanted to smile and say he was happy to live with him, that such happiness would never exist again in his life. But Sixx was no longer the naive child he used to be. He had come to realize some principles. For example, that the weak could never have what they wanted, or that there was inevitably a difference in power in human relationships, were obvious, self-evident facts.
Sixx had only recently come to understand these simple truths. Trapped in an iron cage, scratching the rusty floor, he wondered why he couldn’t even have a small radio. And after much deliberation, he came to a conclusion. It was because he was powerless. He was young, didn’t know how to properly use his strength, was poor, and didn’t get along well with people. People like him inevitably had everything taken from them by the strong. That was how the world worked. The lower bow to the higher, and those people, in turn, bow to those above them. That’s how the pyramid is built. At the top was Malon. At the bottom was Sixx. That structure explained everything. No matter how much he wanted to meet Malon, he couldn’t. That was why. He didn’t have even a fingernail’s worth of strength. Sixx was born as a condemned monster. Fate couldn’t be changed. If he wanted to have what he desired, he had to change. Fortunately, he was still young, so he had time.
“Living in the circus troupe isn’t good. But, I don’t want Malon’s help.”
He wasn’t entirely unaffected by Malon’s proposal. Judging from the question he had just asked, if he accepted his proposal, he might have been able to lead a much more affluent life than he had until now. It could even be called a reversal of fortune. However, everything comes with a corresponding price. In exchange for Malon’s help, Sixx would never be able to have what he truly wanted. It was his relationship with Malon. He dared to think that he wanted to have a more special relationship with Malon.
And depending on how Sixx behaved in the future, the achievement of that relationship would vary. He had to rise. Leaving the circus troupe and going to Malon’s house wasn’t rising. Regardless of the location, the bottom was still the bottom. Moreover, if it was Malon’s help, it was closer to the worst thing he could receive. He didn’t want to wait for him without any guarantee that he would take some time out of his busy schedule to look after Sixx. And what if he decided never to look after Sixx again? Sixx wanted to stand in the same place as him someday, facing him on equal footing. Of course, Sixx knew it was almost delusional. Maybe he was too young to face reality. If people from the circus troupe had seen this scene, they might have laughed at him. How comfortable it would be to live under the protection of someone as great as Malon, they might have asked, scoffing at his self-respect. Why are you so stupid? Then Sixx would answer. It’s not about self-respect. Self-respect isn’t important to him. Rather, if necessary, he was prepared to throw his self-respect on the ground without hesitation to achieve his goal.
“I don’t understand. You don’t want my help? Why on earth?”
“…You wouldn’t understand.”
“So, even to you, my words sound like nonsense. If you don’t want my help, then whose help are you going to seek? Perhaps you thought I was joking? If so, it wasn’t a joke. Are you seriously saying you want to continue living in that shitty place?”
“Yes. I appreciate your offer, and I’m sorry for declining, but that’s where I belong.”
“…Tell me. What’s the reason? Is it because of those friends of yours?”
Sixx sighed quietly. Malon’s eyes, once warm, now seemed frozen like ice. It was he who had made it so. The cold gaze he received felt like a needle piercing his heart.
“If you wish, I can arrange for them to come and pay the price and bring them here. I can’t let them into my home, but…”
“It’s not because of them… Malon, why do you want to let me into your house?”
“Why? Just because I want to. Isn’t that reason enough?”
It was a haughty attitude befitting someone at the top. Except for a few things, the world always went as he desired. He could obtain anything he wanted and had the ability to fulfill his desires. Even if his reputation within the organization was tarnished, Malon was confident enough to declare that he would let Sixx into his home. He even had no basis for his confidence. However, this was only from his perspective. He didn’t know how to think from someone else’s perspective. He didn’t need to know. Therefore, it was natural that he couldn’t understand Sixx’s reluctance to be someone who was being taken advantage of. Malon, who had never experienced a fall to the bottom, could never understand Sixx’s feelings of being unable to grab the lifeline that had descended from the sky like a miracle. That one rope was not enough. What Sixx needed was a solid foothold. A foothold strong and secure enough to stand by Malon forever. He thought it would be better to struggle in the gutter rather than become a parasite on what he had built with hard work. Sixx didn’t want to be pitiful and weak. He didn’t even think he deserved to stay by Malon’s side. He wanted to change himself completely to make Malon see him again. That’s why he refused. Perhaps it was only possible because he was just twelve years old and too innocent. If he missed this opportunity, he might have to rot there for the rest of his life, but the risk was entirely Sixx’s to bear.
“Yes, I need more than that. It’s an important issue to me. I don’t want to receive help from you, I want to become someone who can help. If I stay by your side, as Luca said, I’ll only cause harm to you. I absolutely don’t want that…”
“I don’t understand what you’re babbling about. From a mere twelve-year-old kid, ha… I’m speechless. I’m so dumbfounded I can’t even speak. What on earth do you think you can do for me? No, why do you even want to do something for me in the first place?”
“That’s…”
The emotions boiling in his veins converged into one and clung to the tip of his tongue. He didn’t want to speak like this. He didn’t want to convey his feelings, flushed with emotion, to each other like this.
Thanks for the chapters!!
That was intense, wow. Thanks for the chapters 🤍
It’s kinda crazy to think he could’ve helped his friends out of the circus, but at the same time I’m actually proud he was able to think so maturely about the situation and stick to his belief like that. Thank you so much for the update!
Him refusing to live with Malon just makes no sense, even if the author tries to explain it :/