Was this everything that Jian Yi desperately attempted to conceal?
Wen Xuan sighed, his divine sense traveling along with the memories. He finally touched the parasite that slept in the deepest part of Jian Yi’s heart. The instant that he found it, the two parasites in the two people’s bodies both died and fell out of the center of their chest.
The empathy parasite that had been buried for many years was finally resolved.
There was a kind of feeling in this instant. Jian Yi instantly woke up in alarm from the illusion because of it. He felt like a certain connection inside his heart was suddenly cut, breaking off the last connection between him and Wen Xuan. Instantly, he panicked and swiftly opened both eyes. What he saw immediately, however, was Wen Xuan standing before him, looking at him at an extremely close proximity.
The illusion and reality superimposed and then separated. Jian Yi couldn’t even respond for quite some time. He sat there stiffly, eyes still wet with tears.
Wen Xuan smiled briefly: “So this was what you were so afraid to let me know?”
This smile dazzled Jian Yi’s eyes and finally made him believe the reality before his eyes. In comparison to when they parted, Wen Xuan’s appearance held a lot of differences. His eyes turned bright blue from the original black, making this smile of his gain a certain indescribable feeling.
“Shixiong……” Jian Yi called, reaching out and wanting to touch. However, Wen Xuan took a step back and avoided his hand. Jian Yi’s hand just hung there in midair, frozen.
“You repeatedly say it was all for me.” Wen Xuan said with a smile: “But in the end, it was still for yourself huh?”
Jian Yi’s heart immediately sank. That’s right. He should have thought of it before. Wen Xuan already unraveled the empathy parasite. Wen Xuan already saw everything. He was so terrified of Wen Xuan finding out, but in the end, he still couldn’t hide it.
“Even though you really did want to save me,” Wen Xuan got up, patting the dust that gathered on his clothes: “Ultimately, you wanted to save yourself.”
Jian Yi opened his mouth, wanting to explain something but didn’t know where to begin explaining. He watched Wen Xuan stupefied and only managed to squeeze out after a while: “Shixiong, you can shapeshift……”
“That’s right.” Wen Xuan waved the tail behind him: “And I didn’t even need you.”
Since some unknown time, Wen Xuan also learned to say these hurtful words. These words seemed quite ordinary, yet they accurately stabbed the most painful wound in Jian Yi’s heart and injured him dearly. These weren’t even all of the hurtful words from Wen Xuan’s mouth either.
“Even though you helped me a lot before and I was extremely thankful,” Wen Xuan said: “unfortunately, the person who made the most impact on me isn’t actually you.”
These words weren’t just hurtful, they also made Jian Yi extremely fearful. Instantly, his eyes turned red. An overwhelmingly huge wave of injustice crashed into his heart, almost flooding him away. But the truth was evident. There was clearly no one else beside Wen Xuan now. Jian Yi was just about to spit out ‘lies’ from his mouth.
However, before that he heard Wen Xuan finish the rest of his words: “It’s Ye ShengGe, Daoist Master Ye.”
This fact was an indisputable answer. All of Jian Yi’s objections were sent back. He almost suffocated, holding in a breath of gloom.
“If Daoist master Ye was still here, if he didn’t die back then, my life right now would be completely different. However, even though he’s not here, even though I’ve never even met him in person, I’m still standing here right now.” Wen Xuan’s gaze landed on Jian Yi’s face, examining his expression: “See. in this world, no one is irreplaceable.”
If the words before were only hurtful, then this sentence in Jian Yi’s eyes was equivalent to being struck by lightning. Jian Yi would have never imagined, after ten years of separation, when Wen Xuan finally appeared before his eyes again, it was just to say this kind of words to him.
Jian Yi’s face turned colorless. After a long time, he finally managed to breathe properly and asked with trepidation: “Shixiong, are you still blaming me for everything I did before? Is that why you’d say these kinds of words……”
Wen Xuan, however, shook his head and continued to say: “I can be replaced. You can also be replaced. This kind of thing is a matter of fact.”
Saying this, Wen Xuan turned around and started walking outside.
He didn’t bother with Jian Yi. Jian Yi already woke up from the illusion anyways. He can walk by himself.
However, after Wen Xuan took a few steps, he turned around to look and saw Jian Yi still frozen in the same place.
Wen Xuan frowned and then walked back again.
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
He can admit, when he said those words, he knew Jian Yi would be hurt. He actually didn’t feel very pleased and was still upset over Jian Yi’s complicated intentions back then. After all, he had originally thought that Jian Yi treated him well all this time because he liked him. Wen Xuan had also unwittingly started liking Jian Yi some time ago. Yet now, he learned that the truth wasn’t like that at all.
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Jian Yi shook all over. He raised his head and looked over, stunned.
“But even if our positions were replaced, so what? You’re already no longer the you from that world. That’s not the only identity you have anymore. So what if one position has been replaced. Can’t you find another one?” Wen Xuan pulled Jian Yi off of the ground: “Look at your feet. You can already walk outside. You can go wherever you want!”
That’s right. This was the thing he wanted to tell Jian Yi.
He thought about the small narrow road that only had himself in Jian Yi’s heart. Then, he thought about the vast yet barren white space inside Jian Yi’s heart. Clearly Jian Yi’s body was already free yet his heart continued to be trapped, restrained by the experiences of his previous life and held down by his own fixation.
Wen Xuan pulled Jian Yi into his arms and held him for a while.
“Jian shidi,” he said: “Go outside and have a look. Take a good look at all the wonders in this world. You’re free. Nothing is worth keeping yourself trapped forever for.”
Then he let go of Jian Yi and took in a deep breath before walking outside once again.
Wen Xuan was very clear what kind of rescue Jian Yi wanted. Jian Yi wanted to stay by his side, occupy an irreplaceable spot in his heart, and be codependent on each other for life, neither unable to leave the other. Wen Xuan knew that the solution to this was actually very easy to achieve. He only needed to bring Jian Yi alongside him once more, and head back together hand in hand. But at the same time, Wen Xuan also knew that to Jian Yi, this was no different than drinking poison in hope of quenching one’s thirst.
Therefore, ultimately, Wen Xuan said those words and left that mausoleum by himself, leaving Jian Yi behind to decide what road he wanted to go himself.
Wen Xuan once again walked past the two stone obelisks at the entrance and rendezvoused with his subordinates waiting outside.
“Big King.” “Big King! There was no danger inside? It’s great that you’re okay!” The little demons saw him come out and were all very happy. They noisily encircled his side. Wen Xuan scolded them with a smile and then led them down the mountain together.
In the end, Wen Xuan turned his head to take a look. He saw Jian Yi already standing outside that door, but not following over. Jian Yi only stood there, meeting his gaze dumbfoundedly. Then, Wen Xuan left.
Wen Xuan and the little demons returned together to the residence the two brothers found in South Feng. Wen Xuan silently returned to the room assigned to him.
Then, he laid on the bed, hugged his tail, and silently regretted.
He specifically came in search of Jian Yi. Yet in the end, he only pulled Jian Yi out of the illusion. He still parted from Jian Yi ultimately. What the heck?
After sighing, Wen Xuan used his tail as a pillow and fell asleep.
Alright. Alright. Perhaps this decision of his was correct. He and Jian Yi weren’t actually like what he had imagined before: mutually in love with each other with only a thin layer in between. Jian Yi’s obsession towards him wasn’t anything like that. Jian Yi decided himself not to follow. Why should he insist?
Despite thinking this, Wen Xuan couldn’t help but feel melancholic. Therefore, it wasn’t until the next morning when he melancholically opened his eyes that he learned that actually, it wasn’t that Jian Yi was unwilling to follow.
…… Jian Yi was only too used to being solitary.
The little demons resentfully reported to Wen Xuan, there was someone standing outside bright and early in the morning, staring over here nonstop. And this person had a very unfriendly attitude. Every time the little demons went outside, they’d all receive glares from him.
Wen Xuan was originally happily getting dressed. When he heard the last few words, he couldn’t help smiling coldly.
Had all of the words he said yesterday gone to waste? Jian Yi still didn’t fix this broken problem at all?
“Oh.” Wen Xuan made a noise of acknowledgement. The speed at which he got dressed immediately slowed down: “Ignore him. But also don’t bother him. Just let him wait outside.”
“…… shouldn’t we go chase him further away?”
“Definitely not. You guys can’t win against him.”
Receiving this kind of reply, the little demo’s face twitched. He could only take his leave dejectedly and spread Wen Xuan’s instructions. The crowd heard these words and all moved around Jian Yi, pretending this person wasn’t there at all. This was a pretty good setup. If no one bothered Jian Yi, Jian Yi couldn’t cause any trouble.
Meanwhile, Wen Xuan was still taking his time getting dressed.
After getting dressed and getting ready to see Jian Yi, Wen Xuan suddenly discovered that his hair was messy.
When he finally finished brushing his hair, Wen Xuan suddenly felt like the fur on his tail wasn’t fluffy enough.
…… Actually, by the end, he wasn’t purposely delaying the time. It’s only when he thought about how he was about to see Jian Yi, he just felt like his appearance and dress could look a little more perfect. Therefore, he dilly-dallied and took even longer.
When Wen Xuan was half-way finished fixing his tail, a small demon entered in a hurry and informed him that a snake demon got beaten up by Jian Yi.
Wen Xuan’s movement froze: “What?”
The little demon finally told him, it’s because the lascivious snake demon saw that Jian Yi looked handsome and went forward to stroke his chest……
The corner of Wen Xuan’s mouth twitched. He immediately said: “Well done. They needed a good beating.”
Then Wen Xuan lowered his head and continued to sort out the fur on his tail.
After messing around a long time, Wen Xuan finally finished tidying himself up and leisurely walked out the door.
As expected, Jian Yi was still standing outside. His clothes were wet from the morning dew. Seeing Wen Xuan, Jian Yi instantly focused his eyes on Wen Xuan’s body, unable to look away for quite some time.
“Shixiong,” Jian Yi forcibly suppressed his emotions: “Could it be that you didn’t want to see me?”
Naturally Wen Xuan was too embarrassed to say the truth. He only gave a profound smile: “Did you wait for a long time?”
Jian Yi nodded, then glanced at the group of small demons. Perhaps it was because he had been left to dry for too long, the unfriendliness in Jian Yi’s gaze already retreated by a lot. There was only a very apparent sulking look: “Why is it that, no matter what time, there’s always people around you?”
“Because they want to.” Wen Xuan answered, and then patted Jian Yi’s shoulder: “Don’t just stand there. Now that you’re finally here, come take a walk with me.”
The place where they were currently was carefully selected. They didn’t need to walk long to see a waterfall. The scenery was very beautiful. Wen Xuan wanted to bring Jian Yi over to let him have a look as well.
“Shixiong,” Jian Yi, however, didn’t have any interest in looking at the scenery and only focused on looking at him: “Are you still angry at the things I did back then?”
“A little.” Wen Xuan answered truthfully.
Because of this answer, Jian Yi gained a hint of unease and bit his lips viciously.
“But I was also wrong back then.” Wen Xuan continued to say: “I clearly knew what kind of person you were and how you behaved, but I only knew to depend on you. I even expected you to do things according to my likes and dislikes. At that time, you must have been under a lot of pressure, right?”
Hearing Wen Xuan discuss those things so indifferently, Jian Yi didn’t feel any relief for the unease in his heart. On the contrary, he felt a kind of despair rising. After all, many times, the reason for indifference was a lack of caring.
Wen Xuan once abandoned him for ten years. Now that he has finally appeared before Jian Yi’s eyes once again, his attitude was so vague, not close or distant. All of this made Jian Yi feel a sense of despair.
After that, Wen Xuan started to tell Jian Yi his experiences in the last ten years, talking about how he went to West Ming, how he conquered Tiger Tooth mountain, how he met that grass demon, and how he encountered……
“Shixiong!” Jian Yi got upset by these stories of Wen Xuan and others, finally unable to suppress his mood.
He pushed Wen Xuan against the trunk of a tree, pressing down on Wen Xuan’s shoulders. With reddened eyes, he said: “You already have all of these people by your side. So it doesn’t matter if I’m here or not, right?”
Wen Xuan calmly looked at him: “The reason why you needed to stay by my side, wasn’t it merely because of your self imposed obsession back then?”
Hearing these words, Jian Yi’s expression gained some shock.
Wen Xuan attempted to remove his hands, but Jian Yi pressed against Wen Xuan’s shoulders even harder.
“Do you believe…… my feelings towards you are only that?” Jian Yi asked him, stupefied.
“Or?” Wen Xuan asked back: “Isn’t that what you thought? You remembered me, you cared about me, wasn’t it because I was so tragic?”
That’s right. Back then, Jian Yi really did think this. Back then, Jian Yi believed this was the truth as well. However, when he came to this world, after seeing Wen Xuan in person for the first time, Jian Yi knew that the truth wasn’t just that. Jian Yi still remembered the pounding in his heart back then, as if a series of sparks traveled from his tailbone all the way up to the top of his head, making his heart palpitate, making him tremble with unrestrained emotions.
Then they spent more days together, Jian Yi saw his own feelings more and more clearly. His feelings towards Wen Xuan were very complicated. That kind of self-imposed obsession was actually a very important part of it. However, there was another part that was definitely the feeling of love. Wen Xuan was that wonderful, how could anyone not like him.
Really. Wen Xuan had too many aspects that attracted Jian Yi. Back then, for Jian Yi to only remember Wen Xuan out of all of those numerous characters wasn’t a coincidence. Yet despite seeing his previous life’s memories and learning about his previous way of thinking, Wen Xuan still managed to misunderstand him like this.
“Do you think the feelings I have for you are really that pure and simple?” Jian Yi asked him.
Wen Xuan was stunned by this question and looked at Jian Yi with some more hesitance.
“I……” Jian Yi wanted to say something. He wanted to do something. Then, he lowered his head and flushed red.
Wen Xuan couldn’t help but laugh forcefully: “What are you so embarrassed about at a time like this?”
Embarrassed? Jian Yi laughed self-deprecatingly: “Do you believe I’m only embarrassed? You… You don’t understand what I am thinking about right now at all.”
“Really? Why don’t you tell me about it and see.” Wen Xuan expressed his doubt: “Recall back then. I saw you didn’t have any energy and just carried you a little, your face already turned red……”
Oh. That’s right. Back then in the mausoleum that the powerful demon set up, Jian Yi’s face turned red for the first time in Wen Xuan’s arms. But why would his face turn red? Jian Yi extended a hand, and through the clothes, he touched the point on Wen Xuan’s chest that his arm bumped into back then.
Wen Xuan abruptly froze.
Jian Yi pressed there a bit. As a result, even Wen Xuan’s face started to turn red.
“There’s no way you’d know, just what I wanted to do back then because I accidentally touched this.” Jian Yi took a deep breath. Although he never left the hospital room in his previous life and didn’t have any actual experience, he saw plenty of videos. All different kinds of positions spun around in his head. The reason his face turned red wasn’t because of embarrassment, but rather excitement. He shifted his gaze also not because of embarrassment, but because he really couldn’t face it at that time.
For him to have so many dirty and explicit thoughts, how could he let Wen Xuan know?
Yet ultimately, he was actually letting Wen Xuan know right now. It can’t be helped. In comparison, he found the misunderstanding Wen Xuan had towards him even more intolerable.
Jian Yi couldn’t help but laugh self-deprecatingly. He didn’t know how Wen Xuan would view him in the future. He wanted to move his hand away, but it was firmly pressed down by Wen Xuan. Then, Jian Yi discovered unexpectedly that Wen Xuan’s breathing was rushed. Both hands trembling faintly, he was actually also excited.
Using Jian Yi’s hands, Wen Xuan pulled open the collar of his own clothes and only said two words: “Come on.”
……
In hindsight, Wen Xuan recalled this day countless times, each time feeling incredulous over his own audacity.
Jian Yi’s enthusiasm far surpassed his imagination. What was even more damaging was that it wasn’t until he was pressed down on the floor by Jian Yi, that Wen Xuan shockingly discovered, things were still not quite the same as what he had originally imagined.
Alright alright. They finally reached this point after all this trouble. Who cared about that minor detail? It’s just that, who would have thought. Wen Xuan lived upright and proper all his life, yet his first time was in the wilderness under a tree in front of a waterfall……
HELPPP 😭 NOT THEM DOING IT 😩
this is by far my favourite chapter of the novel for sooo many reasons
obviously, because they finally manage to dissolve their issues and stuff 😇😽
but also, i really love the tail pillow part and the fact that the tail wasn’t fluffy enough to go outside and meet him 😂
Tail part is the best
Thanks for the chapter!!
I feel like I really don’t understand these characters anymore. Both of them just need therapy
+1/rt
Of course they need therapy after wat they went through. Ppl need therapy for less.
Well i need therapy myself…but here they both suffered so much…ofc they do
Thank You for the chapter (•‾⌣‾•)و ̑̑♡
Chocada,passada, chorei, fiquei triste e depois feliz, muitas emoções…
The tail fluffing bit was so indescribably cute. Ai… I really hope JY starts resolving his issues bc this is not a healthy relationship atm.
Pfft, had to come back to these smol ending paragraphs where they’re just wild and horny and end up with outdoor smexy time 🤣 I’m dead. Also, wow 😳 I’m amazed WX is like “you ever jumped a tiger? Here’s your chance.” 😜😆
I really loved this chapter ❤️ loved how W accepted himself and grew into someone with such strength. I love it !! I love that they are finally together ❤️ but my hate that my hearts still hurting 😭😭😭
Ya know when JY was pressing WX only one sound was in my mind “puchu puchu”. The sound of baby shoes 😂👟😂😂
I thought the whole novel Wen Xuan was the gon lololol
Ohhh wow! 😹😹😹😹
You lot are wild!! Really Wen Xuan and Jian Yi in an open space in broad daylight 😹😹😹😹😹
Lmao wen xuan is so cute. To think he care so much about his appearance.
It was really REALLY refreshing to have WX confront JY about his behavior; while they didn’t really talk it’s nice that a conversation occured.
Now my only gripe is that WX is a bottom but you know what, I can live with this. It’s not the worst thing in the world 😭😭
A bit late, but finally some progress for JY