After Getting Gayified, I Swore Off Parody MashupsCh12 - The spoof showdown, round 1

160

The second day of filming continued. I haven’t had scenes with Jiang Ran yet. This made my heart feel extra at ease. GJktvy

In a great show of benevolence, the director let us have a one-hour break in the afternoon. I tottered off happily towards the van, not expecting to see that Jiang Ran’s little fanclub had come down to the shooting site.

Smh. The momentum they have can practically cause an avalanche.

Story translated by Chrysanthemum Garden.

 

161 3ZOGR4

I was teetering right on the edge of falling into dreamland, but their noise kept me up. Before I could start scolding them, my agent came up the van, scooping me up from my seat. “Brother Shuyao, Jiang Ran’s fans are here to show support. Jiang Ran says he wants you to join him.”

“Huh?” I frowned. “What do Jiang Ran’s fans have to do with me?”

My agent smiled. “Brother Shuyao, you’re only a newcomer but the online opinion on you isn’t good. Our Jiang Ran wants to clean up your reputation.”

Clean up? Please, if it weren’t for this bastard Jiang Ran would laozi have fallen to such straits?

Sz7kmP

Ha. I never thought that Jiang Ran even has such a two-faced personality, only knowing to poise himself against the highest standards of morality.

[retching noises]

 

162 5txEwg

Jiang Ran’s agent also came up the van. The two men basically manhandled me down the van.

…I really believe it now. You’re all sent by Jiang Ran to gayify me.

QAQQQ, good-looking men must protect themselves when they go out!

  Gs1emE

163

Clustered by the two agents and security guards, I was squeezed through the human wall and shoved next to Jiang Ran.

Then, as if growing wings on their feet, the agents disappeared off like a cloud of smoke.

?? I was still stupefied by what was going on, but Jiang Ran’s fans were already shouting, “Jiang Ran, this is our Mdm. Mo Ji’s original work! Make sure you take care of it!” U0gXEV

“Yesyes, Mdm. Mo Ji writes really good novels!”

“It’s a pity that the madam has never held a book signing event before, so we aren’t able to give you an autographed copy sobs, what a pity.”

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……

  V5t2Fy

164

At this moment, a fan asked, “President Jiang, is the acting technique of the newcomer you’re co-starring with good? Can he act out the Chen Mingge in our hearts?”

We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.

Watching the fans each give a hardcover edition of the novel with my pen name printed on it whilst simultaneously questioning my acting technique, I was caught between tears and laughter.

Zjc. Ktlr lr qgbyjyis ktja atfs wfjca ktfc atfs rjlv atja ilof lr ilxf j qijs. xgl2DA

 

165

Cr P rlutfv j wliilbc vffq rlutr lc ws tfjga, rbwfbcf revvfcis qea jc jgw jgbecv ws kjlra.

Aljcu Ejc qeiifv mibrf ab ws fjg jcv mjiwis rjlv, “Snfgsbcf, qifjrf vbc’a vbeya Kfjmtfg Zb’r jmalcu jylilalfr. Snfc ogbw fjgis bc, Kfjmtfg Zb tjr tjv j nfgs vffq joolclas obg atf fcafgajlcwfca mlgmif. Lf tjr fnfc vbcf rmgffckglalcu jcv jmalcu lc atf qjra. Ktfgf vfolclafis lrc’a jc lrref klat tlr jmalcu afmtcldef.” mpSRkb

And after a few second’s pause, he still wasn’t done. “In terms of his understanding of the screenplay, I can only defer to him. Nevertheless, in real life, he’s a little silly and clumsy behind the scenes, so he’s always under my care.”

Always, under, my, care~

There was even a lilt on the end of Jiang Ran’s words, making it sound unbelievably doting.

But my gooseflesh instantly rose. jemDQy

Jiang Ran, aren’t you afraid of losing fans if you gay me right in full view of so many fans?

 

166

However, Jiang Ran’s fans began to scream manically: ‘President Jiang is so warm! This is the peak predecessor spirit AHHH!’ fUcGoz

And there were even people carrying those cameras that looked like gun barrels, energetically snapping photographs of us.

So now, I’ve become an accessory to Jiang Ran’s celebrity image.

Chrysanthemum Garden.

I’m a silly, clumsy, sweet little thing who doesn’t know anything, and Jiang Ran is the senior who has been doting on me, taking care of me, and watching over me.

…Blearghhh. Vy7rme

 

167

At night, when the day of filming concluded, I opened Weibo to find that Jiang Ran had shared a post from a fan today, even tagging me and blowing long paragraphs of rainbow farts about me.

I am really moved, so moved that my tears are going to fall. Y8S mv

Hoho, looks like now’s the prime time to unveil the memes I worked on overnight to photoshop yesterday.

He who hesitates is lost!

 

168 0cUeV2

Beneath that Weibo post, I began spamming memes of Jiang Ran in a frenzy.

All sorts of ‘pah, supergay’, ‘pew pew you!’, ‘this fried rice is so fragrant’, ‘O98K’, ‘little tabasco, I’m going to gay you’, etc. Sand sculptures, crass humour, parodies… ask and you’ll be given.

Check it out. This is the dark history of your beloved Film Emperor Jiang.

We’ll see if you can still love him after this! HyGZtB

 

169

Read more BL at chrysanthemumgarden (dot) com

After spamming the memes, I took a shower in bliss. When I came out, I found that my Weibo was bathed in blood again.

Only, they weren’t scolding me this time. h6TBXe

All of them were liking and commenting on those dozens of memes:

> Let’s go sisters! Send Teacher Mo to the top!

> Teacher Mo is a gem in this world, he’s too cute.

> AHHH I really wanna watch my Film Emperor Jiang’s god-tier sand-sculpture drama now. 1nd9FZ

Blah, blah, blah.

 

170

My account instantly gained several tens of thousands of fans. Jiang Ran’s fans left messages for me: ‘Teacher Mo, exactly how many memes of Jiang Ran do you have? Please bestow these treasures on us!’ x9usdK

“……” I was really speechless.

Oy, Jiang Ran. What’s the love-hate fan ratio of your fanbase??

I suspect that none of your fans are true fans.

  Uz8 iO

171

Nevertheless, in order to express my generosity, I posted a Weibo without any hesitation whatsoever, choosing a full 9 picture set that I had passionately photoshopped to form a photo collage, tagging Jiang Ran as I did so.

Hur hur. I hope I piss you off to death, you bastard.

  LN95cW

172

Swiftly after, Jiang Ran left a comment beneath my post: ‘Thank you to this dear Teacher Mo. Is this what you meant when you said love that extends into the abyss naturally turns black?’

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And again, his fans immediately exploded.

  2FZBAp

173

Ohshete you dogdamn annoying farke.

Jiang Ran, will it kill you to not say anything??

  jzBS4G

174

No way. I’m determined to launch my second wave of counterattack.

I turned on my laptop and dug out that sand-sculpture video I didn’t manage to finish last night, enduring my physical fatigue to burn the midnight oil. Finally, after a series of AI face-changing, snappy cutting and editing, and lvl 1,000,000 autotuning, I logged into my alt account to toss the video into the parody section.

Hahahahaha, a certain JR guy surnamed Hong, come and have a taste of the seduction of your wife’s wardrobe! pPFMdh

 

175

And in order to express my sincerity, I even went the extra mile to voice dub a certain JR guy surnamed Hong’s rendition of Walk and Stop. I really want to see who will be the last one laughing.

3, 2, 1, let’s go— 8FNRc7

Wine goblets and poker chips, only her perfume is left in my intoxication

Ai Li, the seducer from hell, is man’s original sin

Whatever is devotion, we walk and we stop and we touch

Put on Pin Ru’s sleepwear, and in the night we sleep x702fy

Come on say it loudly, you’re so seductive~ ♪

You’re so seductive, seducing me again and again

Please visit chrysanthemumgarden (dot) com

And my bamboo pole would never fail to erect

Just be a douche. Feelings don’t have an expiry dsefIM

Go big and bet on hundreds of billions of assets

I’m a cheater, my love has never been dependable

I only want to get a taste of living life to the fullest

Tonight we have a roll, tomorrow I pretend we’re strangers qt6Vn2

Nobody can be as brazen, as the giant douche that is me~ ♪

 


Self-composed by author based on Temptation Back Home, the drama introduced last chapter. Alt, in a nutshell.

BpPkgi

Translator's Note

this actually says, pah, men, but same vibe.

呵,男人表情包图片- 求表情网,斗图从此不求人!

Translator's Note

Translator's Note

tv programme ref;

回来上班了,我才发现过年真香! - 无忧资讯

Translator's Note

gaming slang; c2XxPI

我能到你心里走走吗表情包-完全o98k表情包图片下载-乐游网手机下载站

Translator's Note

little tabasco, pun on young fellow in Chinese; xiao huo zhi vs zi. Random meme cause not sure if author made this up, can’t find the ref. This one says, a turn-u-gay spray!

变Gay喷雾- 斗图表情包- 斗图神器- adoutu.com

Translator's Note

Leave a Comment

10 comments

  1. Wait have the author ever interacted with Jiang Ran before?? you said love that extends into the abyss naturally turns black?’””

    Where did that come from???

    Thanks for the chapter € ^ *^)/// ~~ ♡♡♡♡♡

  2. I’m confused. Which account did he use to post the meme? The parody mashup one right? Or the actress account? Why did they call him teacher mo?